the first 'deep' post of the year, or something
Let's talk love.
Rather, let's talk about things regarding relationships, and how they are formed, or not - Now, don't quote me on this. Keep in mind that what was going to be a walk to get waffles tonight turned into just a walk, no waffles, and some thinking time. So obviously, I've had some waffle-less time to think.
Here's what I don't get. Why is society nowadays still conditioned by the appearance than by the personality? Why does there seem to be an unspoken rule of pretty dates pretty and average dates average (settles for, is more likely the word they'd use)? I'm not going to bore you with the it's the inside that counts part, because - although I do like the partners I choose to have a nice personality (have one) - I still would rather they'd be pretty, too. Call me vain, but why shouldn't I? Just because I do not fit into the slim, tall, blonde and pretty pattern of beautiful ladies doesn't mean I can't hope that the people I feel attracted to will also feel attracted by me, despite the average features. I'm not even asking for a Prince or Princess Charming, here.
No, what I'd give an arm for is for these thoughts and concepts to be taken out of my mind. You know which ones? The "oh, forget it, (s)he's way too pretty to look at someone like me, I've seen his(her) girl friends, and they're gorgeous in comparison, so there's no way in hell I'd ever ping someone like that" thoughts. The "I better stop while I'm ahead and settle for the friend - they're average, so I'd probably have more chances..." thoughts.
I don't want to be in a relationship right now. But at the time when I do begin to want that again, I want to never again be plagued with those sort of inadequacies and insecurities. It's what broke my confidence when I was with my ex. In my mind, I did not fit - and I probably still do not - that pattern of snobbish, elegant, tall and high medium class girl that would've fit with him.
But what the fuck does that mean, anyway? I've used that term so often - "they don't fit together at all". Why? Because he's ugly and she's pretty? Viceversa? I'm guessing I'm a hypocrite, too, perhaps - but again, this isn't really about personality here. I want to be able to aspire to having a very pretty partner, whether they become the love of my life or not, without being judged as superficial. Logically, I will be more interested in talking to and building up something with a person that I feel attracted to. Otherwise, I think, I'd just settle.
And you know what? I'm a goddamn pretty girl, based on the Judgement of ME, I've realized. So this is something I'm going to be working on. No more "oh, I'm not pretty enough, they probably don't even go for my type" trains of thought. I am awesome, and I'm the only one who decides what's good for me - not TV, not society, not the logos on make-up, and definitely not people I don't even know.
And now I really wish I had a waffle.
Rather, let's talk about things regarding relationships, and how they are formed, or not - Now, don't quote me on this. Keep in mind that what was going to be a walk to get waffles tonight turned into just a walk, no waffles, and some thinking time. So obviously, I've had some waffle-less time to think.
Here's what I don't get. Why is society nowadays still conditioned by the appearance than by the personality? Why does there seem to be an unspoken rule of pretty dates pretty and average dates average (settles for, is more likely the word they'd use)? I'm not going to bore you with the it's the inside that counts part, because - although I do like the partners I choose to have a nice personality (have one) - I still would rather they'd be pretty, too. Call me vain, but why shouldn't I? Just because I do not fit into the slim, tall, blonde and pretty pattern of beautiful ladies doesn't mean I can't hope that the people I feel attracted to will also feel attracted by me, despite the average features. I'm not even asking for a Prince or Princess Charming, here.
No, what I'd give an arm for is for these thoughts and concepts to be taken out of my mind. You know which ones? The "oh, forget it, (s)he's way too pretty to look at someone like me, I've seen his(her) girl friends, and they're gorgeous in comparison, so there's no way in hell I'd ever ping someone like that" thoughts. The "I better stop while I'm ahead and settle for the friend - they're average, so I'd probably have more chances..." thoughts.
I don't want to be in a relationship right now. But at the time when I do begin to want that again, I want to never again be plagued with those sort of inadequacies and insecurities. It's what broke my confidence when I was with my ex. In my mind, I did not fit - and I probably still do not - that pattern of snobbish, elegant, tall and high medium class girl that would've fit with him.
But what the fuck does that mean, anyway? I've used that term so often - "they don't fit together at all". Why? Because he's ugly and she's pretty? Viceversa? I'm guessing I'm a hypocrite, too, perhaps - but again, this isn't really about personality here. I want to be able to aspire to having a very pretty partner, whether they become the love of my life or not, without being judged as superficial. Logically, I will be more interested in talking to and building up something with a person that I feel attracted to. Otherwise, I think, I'd just settle.
And you know what? I'm a goddamn pretty girl, based on the Judgement of ME, I've realized. So this is something I'm going to be working on. No more "oh, I'm not pretty enough, they probably don't even go for my type" trains of thought. I am awesome, and I'm the only one who decides what's good for me - not TV, not society, not the logos on make-up, and definitely not people I don't even know.
And now I really wish I had a waffle.