Heart Shaped Clock - Chapter 23
Title: Heart Shaped Clock.
Author: shou_ni
Pairing: ToraxShou, some NaoxHiroto
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff, Smut-ish
Disclaimer: I dont own anyone, just the story.
Summary: When a beautiful guy enters Tora's life, he's smitten. Unfortunately Shou has a secret and he doesn't want to share it
Miyavi was ordered to get back to work after a brief sobbed explanation from Hiroto.
The tattooed male couldn't focus, luckily he wasn't doing anything that required high levels of concentration, just simple things like changing IVs, injections etc.
He couldn't get a solid grasp of his mind, his skull buzzing with a billion thoughts.
How could Shou keep something that important a secret from him?
How could he roll up to work everyday and lie, deceive, pretend that everything was okay when it was everything but?
Soon enough his shift was over. His superior gave him the keys for the on-call room and told him to catch some sleep there considering he refused to go home, he wanted to stay close in case there was any news on Shou.
Sunrise saw Hiroto curled up on a plastic chair, Nao stroking his hair gently. Aki had taken a cab over shortly after Hiroto's call. Shou had been released from surgery for the second time that evening and was being closely monitored in the intensive care unit.
The entire ward was quiet. Eerily silent. The only sound that could be heard was the muffled beeping of a heart monitor. Nobody uttered a single word, nobody had anything to say. Too many thoughts to think but not enough words to speak.
Impatient yet hesitant steps carried him forward, moving along down the corridor with anxiety gripping so tightly around his insides.
He could see his destination up ahead, the intensive care unit.
His path didn't waver as he passed the males in the waiting room.
"Tora..."
The raven haired pushed open the door to Shou's room and entered without a single word.
The nurse jumped slightly upon seeing him. He'd been so quiet that she hadn't even noticed until he seated himself in the chair next to the bed.
"Excuse me Sir, nobody is meant to be in here unle-"
"I'm his lover" Tora cut in "I was told by the receptionist to come straight in"
"Oh right.. I see" The nurse blushed, fumbling with the chart at the end of the bed "Would you like me to get you anything?"
"A glass of water would be fine, thank you"
She left the room without another word, leaving them in silence. Except for the sound of the machines, those seemed louder than ever.
He let out a long deep breath and sat back in the chair, his eyes roaming over his incapacitated lover. He wondered how long he'd been so pale and gaunt, so utterly fragile looking that if he even so much as touch him he would shatter into a million pieces.
Tora was tired, beyond exhausted. Upon ending the phone call with Hiroto he'd rushed back to the hotel for his things and hailed a cab to the airport, which was fortunately not too far away.
Then with a stroke of fortune he'd managed to bag a flight due to a seat cancellation so was on the plane within the hour.
Which just left the 13 hour flight. The tediously long, torturous flight that caused him so much stress that he thought he was going to spontaneously combust. With so much anxiety and worry he just couldn't sleep at all so by the time he touched ground in japan, he was dead on his feet.
After all, his jet-lagged body clock had it down for 4am Paris time.
His fingers reached out to stroke small circles on Shou's arm.
"What are you like Shou" He sighed lightly "Your silly heart playing up when I'm too far away to save you"
He fought back tears, determined not to cry. He had to be strong, or Shou.. for the others.
"Everyone has come to see you. They're all waiting outside for you to be all better and to come home"
His throat was so dry, where was the nurse with that water?
"Please Shou, just wake up. Tell me that you're alright and that everything is going to be okay because I don't know what I'm going to do" He choked, voice cracking and tears finally spilling down his cheeks. Why did he have to be the strong one? He was just as scared as everybody else, more so.
"I'm scared Shou, I'm so scared. I don't want you to flat line on me again. Just be alright I'm begging you"
Aki was tired. His eyes couldn't focus on anything without blurring and obscuring everything. He knew that he needed sleep but he didn't want to leave until he knew that his friend was stable.
Damn he needed a cigarette. The sound of him getting to his feet grabbed Hiroto's attention, who sat up abruptly .
"Where do you think you're going?" The blonde frowned.
"For a fag, all this waiting around is driving me crazy"
"Oh, being selfish as always, always reliable Aki" He sneered. Aki crossed his arms, pierced eyebrows furrowing deeply.
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
Hiroto rose to his feet and stepped closer to the other, squaring up as if a fight were about to ensue.
"You're abandoning him yet again, you don't even care. You've never cared about anyone but yourself, selfish bitch."
"What the hell do you know? You're not with him 24/7. We do hang out without you there Pon. Anyway, who are you to talk... You've been fucking avoiding him for weeks making him feel like shit. Now who's selfish"
Nao, who had been watching in bemusement jumped in shock as Hiroto's fist suddenly connected with the raven haired males jaw angrily.
"Just fuck off Aki. You're not wanted here anymore, so get the fuck out!"
Of course, The other didn't need to be told twice. Rubbing his aching jaw he stormed away.
The calm and fresh sunny summer afternoon was suddenly disturbed as doors flung open, their steel handles colliding with the concrete with a clang. An angered fist punched the wall harshly, splitting the skin of his knuckle sending a small stream of blood to trail down his fingers.
He kicked a stray stone into the distance and practically threw himself at the railing. What the fuck did Hiroto know? Acting like he owned Shou, that bastard.
Shaking digits held a cigarette to his lips, fumbling with the lighter until the toxic stick eventually glowed to life.
You're abandoning him yet again
Those words echoed in his mind, getting under his skin and infecting him like a virus.
He'd never abandoned Shou, they were close. Much closer than Hiroto thought.
His mind wandered back ..
It was a few years prior, he was seventeen and heartbroken.
"Aki" Shou soothed, perching himself on the bed that Aki was sprawled out on, shielding his tired eyes. "Don't be depressed. You haven't even told me what's wrong"
The younger of the two heaved out a sigh, rolling onto his side.
"Mao's gone. His parents found out about us, They've sent him away to live with one of his relatives in Aomori. Fucking Aomori, I'll never be able to afford to go there and even if I could... I don't know the address"
Shou rubbed his arm sympathetically. Aomori seemed a million miles away to him, so he couldn't even imagine how far it felt to Aki.
"All I have is his cell number, but every time I call he's out of range. I don't know what to do. I don't want to let him go" Tears brimmed in his eyes, spilling out onto the pillow in defiance of his minds wishes of not crying. "I fucking love him Shou" he sobbed.
The brunette lay down beside him, wrapping his arms around him.
"I know it may not seem like it now, but everything will be okay. You guys will see each other again. It might not be in a few weeks or a few months, it could be a few years from now but you will. Okay? You know how much you love each other and feelings like that don't just die." He said softly "Just don't give up Aki. I want you to introduce him to me one day"
A small laugh reverberated in Aki's throat, hugging Shou a little tighter.
"Thanks Shou, you always know exactly what to say to make everything better"
Aki always cherished moments like that, where he and Shou hung out on their own. Obviously Hiroto was a good friend of his and he loved him but he felt so much closer to Shou. They both had a lot in common, But of course Hiroto always butted in without even knowing it.
All Aki wanted to do was to spend more time with them, however being part of the soccer team meant that his team mates dragged him off for practice whenever he had a spare moment. It was pretty amazing that he'd even managed to get a love-life.
It was a few weeks later when Shou had collapsed in the middle of class, scaring him senseless. He'd spent the entire night curled up in bed on the verge of throwing up, waiting to hear a scrap of news and it was only in the morning, at 5:43 precisely that Hiroto called with news.
Everyday since he'd sprinted out of class as soon as the lunch bell rang and grabbed his bike. Riding as fast as he possibly could to the hospital to see Shou, even if he could only stay for ten minutes. It made Shou cheerful, bringing him magazines and sweets to make his time in bed a little less boring. Then he'd race back to school and carry on his classes like normal.
As the months passed the three of them started going out together more frequently, becoming more of a trio rather than HiroShou and Aki. Getting closer to the two made him more observant, he started noticing little habits and traits-
Hiroto would always shout at the characters that he didn't like when watching films or dramas and whenever they went to karaoke Shou would always choose rap songs that he could never keep up with.
There was something else he had noticed. Something that nobody else would have been able to notice.
Hiroto had feelings for Shou. Weather he would deny it or not, Aki could see it in the way he looked at the elder. The small blush that would linger on his cheeks when the brunette laughed.
Not that he judged him, it was natural to feel something stronger than friendship if you spent copious amounts of time with someone.
Before he knew it a year had passed. The three were practically living with each other until Shou started going in and out of hospital. Hiroto was in collage leaving Aki on his own for most of the time. He was lonely, lonelier than when Mao had been taken away. It hurt so much, and the only way he had convinced himself to find comfort was in the arms of strangers. Becoming sexually promiscuous in the hopes of building a wall of protection around his heart. Never wanting to let anyone get as close as Mao did. After all, the memory of him was trapped inside those walls. The only person he could confide in was Shou, he didn't agree with him but he never judged him.
And it was thanks to Shou that he had been reunited with Mao once again. His highschool sweet heart, the only person he had ever loved. He had so much to thank Shou for.
He stubbed the cigarette butt out and threw it onto the bins ashtray. The nicotine invading his body had sufficiently calmed him down. His jaw still throbbed but he felt like he was now able to go back and face the raging blonde without ripping his throat out.
Dusting himself down and regaining his composure he went back inside.
He entered the waiting room in silence, walking straight over to the corner and seating himself down.
He didn't even acknowledge Hiroto, nor did Hiroto acknowledge him. Tension filled the air like gas and nobody wanted to be the one to cause sparks to fly. After all, they had more pressing issues to worry about.
They needed to focus on making sure that they were there for Shou, no matter how long they had to stay there. It was going to be a long night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Authors Notes - Bloody hell that was hard to write. The re-write ended up being different to the original that was lost so I had lots of trouble with it *sobs*. I was going to write an interlude for Aki but it wasn't long enough for it's own chapter so I worked it into this one. He's had a hard time, poor guy.
So Hiroto and Aki have fallen out, Shou is unconscious and in intensive care fighting for his life. But most importantly.. Tora made it back to see him.
As always, comments are motivation.
Author: shou_ni
Pairing: ToraxShou, some NaoxHiroto
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff, Smut-ish
Disclaimer: I dont own anyone, just the story.
Summary: When a beautiful guy enters Tora's life, he's smitten. Unfortunately Shou has a secret and he doesn't want to share it
Miyavi was ordered to get back to work after a brief sobbed explanation from Hiroto.
The tattooed male couldn't focus, luckily he wasn't doing anything that required high levels of concentration, just simple things like changing IVs, injections etc.
He couldn't get a solid grasp of his mind, his skull buzzing with a billion thoughts.
How could Shou keep something that important a secret from him?
How could he roll up to work everyday and lie, deceive, pretend that everything was okay when it was everything but?
Soon enough his shift was over. His superior gave him the keys for the on-call room and told him to catch some sleep there considering he refused to go home, he wanted to stay close in case there was any news on Shou.
Sunrise saw Hiroto curled up on a plastic chair, Nao stroking his hair gently. Aki had taken a cab over shortly after Hiroto's call. Shou had been released from surgery for the second time that evening and was being closely monitored in the intensive care unit.
The entire ward was quiet. Eerily silent. The only sound that could be heard was the muffled beeping of a heart monitor. Nobody uttered a single word, nobody had anything to say. Too many thoughts to think but not enough words to speak.
Impatient yet hesitant steps carried him forward, moving along down the corridor with anxiety gripping so tightly around his insides.
He could see his destination up ahead, the intensive care unit.
His path didn't waver as he passed the males in the waiting room.
"Tora..."
The raven haired pushed open the door to Shou's room and entered without a single word.
The nurse jumped slightly upon seeing him. He'd been so quiet that she hadn't even noticed until he seated himself in the chair next to the bed.
"Excuse me Sir, nobody is meant to be in here unle-"
"I'm his lover" Tora cut in "I was told by the receptionist to come straight in"
"Oh right.. I see" The nurse blushed, fumbling with the chart at the end of the bed "Would you like me to get you anything?"
"A glass of water would be fine, thank you"
She left the room without another word, leaving them in silence. Except for the sound of the machines, those seemed louder than ever.
He let out a long deep breath and sat back in the chair, his eyes roaming over his incapacitated lover. He wondered how long he'd been so pale and gaunt, so utterly fragile looking that if he even so much as touch him he would shatter into a million pieces.
Tora was tired, beyond exhausted. Upon ending the phone call with Hiroto he'd rushed back to the hotel for his things and hailed a cab to the airport, which was fortunately not too far away.
Then with a stroke of fortune he'd managed to bag a flight due to a seat cancellation so was on the plane within the hour.
Which just left the 13 hour flight. The tediously long, torturous flight that caused him so much stress that he thought he was going to spontaneously combust. With so much anxiety and worry he just couldn't sleep at all so by the time he touched ground in japan, he was dead on his feet.
After all, his jet-lagged body clock had it down for 4am Paris time.
His fingers reached out to stroke small circles on Shou's arm.
"What are you like Shou" He sighed lightly "Your silly heart playing up when I'm too far away to save you"
He fought back tears, determined not to cry. He had to be strong, or Shou.. for the others.
"Everyone has come to see you. They're all waiting outside for you to be all better and to come home"
His throat was so dry, where was the nurse with that water?
"Please Shou, just wake up. Tell me that you're alright and that everything is going to be okay because I don't know what I'm going to do" He choked, voice cracking and tears finally spilling down his cheeks. Why did he have to be the strong one? He was just as scared as everybody else, more so.
"I'm scared Shou, I'm so scared. I don't want you to flat line on me again. Just be alright I'm begging you"
Aki was tired. His eyes couldn't focus on anything without blurring and obscuring everything. He knew that he needed sleep but he didn't want to leave until he knew that his friend was stable.
Damn he needed a cigarette. The sound of him getting to his feet grabbed Hiroto's attention, who sat up abruptly .
"Where do you think you're going?" The blonde frowned.
"For a fag, all this waiting around is driving me crazy"
"Oh, being selfish as always, always reliable Aki" He sneered. Aki crossed his arms, pierced eyebrows furrowing deeply.
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
Hiroto rose to his feet and stepped closer to the other, squaring up as if a fight were about to ensue.
"You're abandoning him yet again, you don't even care. You've never cared about anyone but yourself, selfish bitch."
"What the hell do you know? You're not with him 24/7. We do hang out without you there Pon. Anyway, who are you to talk... You've been fucking avoiding him for weeks making him feel like shit. Now who's selfish"
Nao, who had been watching in bemusement jumped in shock as Hiroto's fist suddenly connected with the raven haired males jaw angrily.
"Just fuck off Aki. You're not wanted here anymore, so get the fuck out!"
Of course, The other didn't need to be told twice. Rubbing his aching jaw he stormed away.
The calm and fresh sunny summer afternoon was suddenly disturbed as doors flung open, their steel handles colliding with the concrete with a clang. An angered fist punched the wall harshly, splitting the skin of his knuckle sending a small stream of blood to trail down his fingers.
He kicked a stray stone into the distance and practically threw himself at the railing. What the fuck did Hiroto know? Acting like he owned Shou, that bastard.
Shaking digits held a cigarette to his lips, fumbling with the lighter until the toxic stick eventually glowed to life.
You're abandoning him yet again
Those words echoed in his mind, getting under his skin and infecting him like a virus.
He'd never abandoned Shou, they were close. Much closer than Hiroto thought.
His mind wandered back ..
It was a few years prior, he was seventeen and heartbroken.
"Aki" Shou soothed, perching himself on the bed that Aki was sprawled out on, shielding his tired eyes. "Don't be depressed. You haven't even told me what's wrong"
The younger of the two heaved out a sigh, rolling onto his side.
"Mao's gone. His parents found out about us, They've sent him away to live with one of his relatives in Aomori. Fucking Aomori, I'll never be able to afford to go there and even if I could... I don't know the address"
Shou rubbed his arm sympathetically. Aomori seemed a million miles away to him, so he couldn't even imagine how far it felt to Aki.
"All I have is his cell number, but every time I call he's out of range. I don't know what to do. I don't want to let him go" Tears brimmed in his eyes, spilling out onto the pillow in defiance of his minds wishes of not crying. "I fucking love him Shou" he sobbed.
The brunette lay down beside him, wrapping his arms around him.
"I know it may not seem like it now, but everything will be okay. You guys will see each other again. It might not be in a few weeks or a few months, it could be a few years from now but you will. Okay? You know how much you love each other and feelings like that don't just die." He said softly "Just don't give up Aki. I want you to introduce him to me one day"
A small laugh reverberated in Aki's throat, hugging Shou a little tighter.
"Thanks Shou, you always know exactly what to say to make everything better"
Aki always cherished moments like that, where he and Shou hung out on their own. Obviously Hiroto was a good friend of his and he loved him but he felt so much closer to Shou. They both had a lot in common, But of course Hiroto always butted in without even knowing it.
All Aki wanted to do was to spend more time with them, however being part of the soccer team meant that his team mates dragged him off for practice whenever he had a spare moment. It was pretty amazing that he'd even managed to get a love-life.
It was a few weeks later when Shou had collapsed in the middle of class, scaring him senseless. He'd spent the entire night curled up in bed on the verge of throwing up, waiting to hear a scrap of news and it was only in the morning, at 5:43 precisely that Hiroto called with news.
Everyday since he'd sprinted out of class as soon as the lunch bell rang and grabbed his bike. Riding as fast as he possibly could to the hospital to see Shou, even if he could only stay for ten minutes. It made Shou cheerful, bringing him magazines and sweets to make his time in bed a little less boring. Then he'd race back to school and carry on his classes like normal.
As the months passed the three of them started going out together more frequently, becoming more of a trio rather than HiroShou and Aki. Getting closer to the two made him more observant, he started noticing little habits and traits-
Hiroto would always shout at the characters that he didn't like when watching films or dramas and whenever they went to karaoke Shou would always choose rap songs that he could never keep up with.
There was something else he had noticed. Something that nobody else would have been able to notice.
Hiroto had feelings for Shou. Weather he would deny it or not, Aki could see it in the way he looked at the elder. The small blush that would linger on his cheeks when the brunette laughed.
Not that he judged him, it was natural to feel something stronger than friendship if you spent copious amounts of time with someone.
Before he knew it a year had passed. The three were practically living with each other until Shou started going in and out of hospital. Hiroto was in collage leaving Aki on his own for most of the time. He was lonely, lonelier than when Mao had been taken away. It hurt so much, and the only way he had convinced himself to find comfort was in the arms of strangers. Becoming sexually promiscuous in the hopes of building a wall of protection around his heart. Never wanting to let anyone get as close as Mao did. After all, the memory of him was trapped inside those walls. The only person he could confide in was Shou, he didn't agree with him but he never judged him.
And it was thanks to Shou that he had been reunited with Mao once again. His highschool sweet heart, the only person he had ever loved. He had so much to thank Shou for.
He stubbed the cigarette butt out and threw it onto the bins ashtray. The nicotine invading his body had sufficiently calmed him down. His jaw still throbbed but he felt like he was now able to go back and face the raging blonde without ripping his throat out.
Dusting himself down and regaining his composure he went back inside.
He entered the waiting room in silence, walking straight over to the corner and seating himself down.
He didn't even acknowledge Hiroto, nor did Hiroto acknowledge him. Tension filled the air like gas and nobody wanted to be the one to cause sparks to fly. After all, they had more pressing issues to worry about.
They needed to focus on making sure that they were there for Shou, no matter how long they had to stay there. It was going to be a long night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Authors Notes - Bloody hell that was hard to write. The re-write ended up being different to the original that was lost so I had lots of trouble with it *sobs*. I was going to write an interlude for Aki but it wasn't long enough for it's own chapter so I worked it into this one. He's had a hard time, poor guy.
So Hiroto and Aki have fallen out, Shou is unconscious and in intensive care fighting for his life. But most importantly.. Tora made it back to see him.
As always, comments are motivation.