Heart Shaped Clock - Chapter 13
Title: Heart Shaped Clock. Author: shou_ni Pairing: ToraxShou, some NaoxHiroto Rating: NC-17 Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff, Smut-ish Disclaimer: I dont own anyone, just the story. Summary: When a beautiful guy enters Tora's life, he's smitten. Unfortunately Shou has a secret and he doesn't want to share it
It was some hours later, Tora's Grandparents had gone home, he was sat in the living room watching TV with his father and Shou was in the kitchen with his mother, baking.
"Shou, can you pass me some sugar please?" Mrs Amano asked as she whisked some eggs in a bowl.
"Here you go" He smiled, passing her the bag. She returned the smile and mixed more ingredients.
"Y'know" She started "It's lovely that Tora brought you here, I've been really looking forward to meeting you"
"Same here actually" Shou grinned "Tora's told me alot about you"
She snorted "Nothing ad I hope"
"Of course not, nothing but praise" He saw her beaming, prepping the oven.
"I know this is probably a little bit silly" She started "but even though I only met you a few days ago, I kind of feel like you're part of the family already"
"You do?" Shou paused from mixing, looking over at her.
"Yeah, Tora's brought a few people home before, but I've never seen him look at anybody the way he looks at you. I can tell he's crazy about you"
Shou tried to hide how much he was blushing, but she saw and smiled knowingly. After rolling out the mix and using the cookie cutters, the cookies were placed in the oven to bake. Before She sat with him at the table.
Meanwhile, things in the living room were getting rather heated as well.
"Why are you being such a jackass?" Tora frowned. His father returned the look just as harshly.
"Excuse me, that's no way to talk to your father"
"Yeah, well I wouldn't have to if you were'nt being so hideously rude to my boyfriend"
"Oh don't give me that" Mr Amano sneered "next you'll tell me you're in love with that whore"
Something inside of Tora seemed to snap, he didn't quite know why, perhaps it was that he had once called Shou a whore and saw how much it had upset them both, or perhaps he just was irritated with his fathers behavior. But he flew to his feet.
"Of course I'm in love with him" He hissed "I love him more than anything, he makes me happy. Why don't you understand that?"
Mr Amano rolled his eyes "Tora, It's always the same with whoever you bring back, you stay with them for a few months, get bored and move on, I don't see how this is any different?"
"It is different because I truly want to spend the rest of my life with him!"
The cookies had finished baking and were spread out on a plate which was currently in Shou's hands. Mrs Amano had told him to deliver them to her husband and Tora while she did the washing up. So happily he made his way through the house, savoring the delicious smell of the warm cookies. He was about to open the door when he heard raised voices coming from the other side. He knew it was probably none of his business, but he couldn't stop himself from pressing his ear to the wood.
"That's stupid" Mr Amano's voice at a guess "You may be in love now, but ten, fifteen, twenty years down the line you'll realize that you don't want him, or he would have left you for someone who's as much of a slacker as he is"
"That will never happen"
"And how do you know? Huh?" Mr Amano shouted "What makes you so sure?"
"Because he's dying!"
The room fell silent, Shou felt this breath hitch in his throat. Tora had never confronted anyone about it, let alone in such a blunt manner. It drilled a hole deep in his heart.
Gingerly he set the cookies down on the telephone stand and hurriedly ran out of the house. He wasn't sure why, but something had hit him with full force, and he just needed to get out.
Mr Amano looked at his son in shock, not knowing how to respond.
"What?"
"You heard me, Shou is dying, he has less than 2 years left" Tora hissed, though his expression slowly melted to that of anguish "The only person I truly ever loved is dying, and there's nothing I can do about"
His father stepped closer, putting a hand on his shoulder. Only to have it shoved off.
"Save it Dad" Tora spat darkly "I don't want to hear your fake sympathy". He glared at him before turning on his heel and bursting out of the door. He paused as his eyes landed on a plate of cookies, sitting on the phone stand. Shrugging, he picked them up and took them through to the kitchen, trying to dissolve his anger in their sweet aroma.
"Sweetie, have you seen Shou?" Mrs Amano asked, drying the last of the dishes.
"I thought he was in here with you"
She straightened up and placed the cookie cutters in a draw. "I told him to take the cookies into you and your father"
Tora raised a brow "He never came in" His mother shrugged.
"Maybe he went to lay down or something, why don't you go and find him?" He nodded and set the plate down, leaving the kitchen.
Shou wasn't in the bedroom, he wasn't in the bathroom, not even in the tatami room. Tora couldn't find him anywhere. He even tried calling his cell phone but he found it on his bed. Heading back downstairs he ran a hand through his hair. Where on earth was he?
"Tora sweetie" Mrs Amano called from the depths of the kitchen "Could you close the door for me, it's terribly cold"
Tora hummed in recognition, walking towards the front door, then suddenly it clicked.
"Shit!"
He ran outside swiftly. The snow crunched beneath his feet with every step he took. The sun had long since set and street lamps were few and far between in the country side, so it was quite difficult to see.
"Shou?" He called out "Shou, baby, are you out here?" He looked around him almost frantically, frost nipping at his skin. He wasn't exactly sure why his heart was pounding so much, or why he felt sick, but he knew he wouldn't stop until he found him. "Shou" before long he spotted a figure crouched over by the koi pond, the soft illumination of the pond lights revealed that it was indeed Shou. "
There you are" He sighed, walking over the small bridge to join him on the other side "I've been looking all over for you, what are you doing out here?"
Shou looked thoughtfully onto the ice that covered the pond in a frosty sheen.
"I needed to think"
"About what?" Tora crouched down beside him, looking at the younger's expression he could see that something was bothering him deeply. Shou simply shrugged lightly, drawing patterns in the snow with his fingers.
"Babe, you can tell me"
"I over heard you and your father fighting" He said quietly. Tora lowered his gaze, he hadn't expected Shou to hear that, even if we was shouting loud enough for the entire of Japan to hear him. Looking at him, he seemed to be holding something back, which worried him, Shou was usually quite open to him, so it was never good when he was hiding something.
"Shou?"
Suddenly he burst into tears, hiding his face in the crook of his arm.
"I'm sorry" He cried "I'm just being stupid" Tears flowed down his cheeks, landing softly on the snow and melting it in miniature patches. "I tried to ignore it, but I can't stop thinking about it"
"Please, baby tell me what's wrong, I'm worried" The elder said, gently stroking his hair. Shou gingerly wiped his eyes, only to have more heavy tears fall.
"I'm scared Tora" He cried "I don't know what to do anymore, I..I ..I" His shoulders shook as Tora took his hand and stoked it with his thumb.
"What are you so afraid of?"
"I don't want to die Tora, I'm scared" He sobbed, which was surprising for the other as he realized that not once, had Shou even shed a tear over it, at least, not infront of him anyway. Tora had been so concerned about hoe this was effecting himself, what was going to happen to him when Shou died, how would he feel, he'd never stopped to think about how this was effecting Shou, both physically and mentally, he truly felt like a selfish idiot.
"I don't want to die, I want to be with you forever and grow old with you. I want us to go on strolls when we're ninety and be reminiscent about all of the good times we had." He sniffed hard, any attempt to stop his cries had vanished long ago, something inside of him had broken and everything was flowing out.
"Before I got ill I was going to study law and become a lawyer, or a musician, I had plans, I was going to be something great. But now, I'm just gonna disappear and my existence won't mean anything at all. I wish that I would grow old and when I lay on my death bed, I could tell stories of all the things I've done, all the places I went to and the people I met. How can I do that now"
Snow fell around them, painting an almost somber picture. Shou's big chestnut eyes shining with tears as h looked at his lover.
"I'm so frightened Tora, I don't want to do this alone, I can't do it"
"You're not alone"
Pulling him close, Tora wrapped his arms around the smaller, shaking frame. Wanting nothing more than to take every last drop of pain away. It was pointless hoping though, he felt helpless. He knew there was nothing he could say to reassure his lover at that point. So instead he simply held him as he sobbed, clutching the fabric of his kimono. Snow falling silently around them, dusting them in a light frost.
"Sometimes I wonder" Shou said in a quiet voice, resting his head on Tora's shoulder "What did I do in a past life to deserve this?" He laughed slightly, wiping his eyes "I must have been such a bastard and really broken somebody's heart huh?"
"Shou, don't say that, none of this is your fault, past life or not" Tora retorted, stroking his damp cheek. The younger sighed, the last of his sobs dying down
"I'm sorry Tora"
"What for?"
"If you hadn't met me, you could of been with somebody normal and it would have saved you alot of trouble and hurt" .
Tora frowned, reeling back in mild shock.
"What the hell, Shou? Don't ever entertain those thoughts, I don't want to be with anyone but you. I'd rather spend a small part of my life with you than my entire life with somebody else" He squeezed his hand, feeling his own heart break a little. "I don't want you to dwell on the 'what if's' anymore, think about your own feelings for once, stop putting everyone else first baby. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and even if that means we only have a little bit of time, I'm still going to cherish every single moment"
One final tear rolled down Shou's cheek upon hearing that, his fingers laced together with his.
"Please, don't hide your feelings from me anymore, if you're sad then I'll wipe your eyes, if you're scared then I'll be here to comfort you. You're not alone anymore"
He was knocked sideways, feeling something half ontop of him he opened his eyes, to find Shou lay in the snow next to him, arms wrapped around him tightly, Face buried in his neck.
"Shou?"
"Don't say anything" He whispered "I wanna stay like this forever"
Tora smiled, winding his arms around the other's thin waist, a feeling of peace washing over him.
After a moment his back started to tingle with frostbite, making him rub Shou's shoulder gently.
"We should go inside now before we catch pneumonia." The younger nodded, slowly getting to his feet, helping Tora up as well. Tora stroked Shou's damp bangs out of his eyes. His heart flurry looking at him, His large eyes red from crying but still beautifully sparkling, snow flakes landing in his hair, he looked utterly innocent. He leaned forward and kissed him lovingly, taking his hand. Padding through the snow in nothing but tabi, they made their way steadily back to the house. Tora had left the door open, which allowed them to get inside without knocking.
"You go upstairs and grab our bathrobes and I'll run us a hot bath" Shou nodded before ascending the stairs. Tora on the other hand, walked down the corridor and headed for the washroom, only to bump into his mother, who was folding towels.
"Oh sweetie, there you are" She sighed in what seemed like relief "Did you find Shou?"
"Yeah, he was outside in the garden" He turned the taps on and put the plug in the bathtub, leaning on the sink.
His mother looked at him worriedly "Is everything okay, you look upset"
"I guess, things are just kinda crazy at the moment" he replied lazily, She walked over to him and patted his shoulder.
"Is it anything I can help with, Mommy can always try and make it better" Tora shook his head with a sigh
"To be honest mom, We're just gonna take a bath, go to bed and then tomorrow morning I'm taking him back home, it wasn't a good idea to bring him here"
"Did I do something wrong?" She asked, looking at him sadly.
"No of course not, you've been so wonderful, he adores you. It's just Dad has been such an asshole, I don't want Shou to feel worse, so I think it's best we just leave"
She gave him a hug and smiled softly "Well I'll make you something nice to eat for the journey. And I'm going to be having a serious talk with your father about this" With one last ruffle of his hair, she left the room and he heard her go back into the kitchen.
Shortly after, Shou joined him in the washroom, locking the door behind him. The two undressed, peeling off the frigid damp kimonos and slipped into the tub without a word. Shou lay back against Tora's chest and took his hands, linking their fingers.
"You okay baby?" Tora asked playing with the younger's hands.
The other hummed with a nod. He wasn't in the mood to talk, he just wanted to soak with him in the steamy water. Tora seemed to take the hint and just rested his chin on the younger's shoulder. Breathing deeply.
When the water started cooling and their skin was nicely pruned, the two climbed out of the tub, wrapping themselves in their bath robes and went out into the corridor. Just as they were about to go up the stairs, Tora heard his name being called. His father padded closer to him, his slippers quietly slapping against the wooden floor.
"I'll meet you upstairs, you go make yourself comfy" Tora said to Shou, who just nodded and climbed the staircase, the elder watched him until he heard his bedroom door close before turning back to the older man.
"What do you want?" He glared, Mr Amano looked at him sheepishly, fumbling with the fabric of his kimono.
"Son, I'm really sorry, If I'd have known.."
"What fucking difference does it make if you knew?" Tora cut him off in a sharp tone, anger bubbling up inside of him once more "The point is, you were horrible and made Shou feel like shit, that's unacceptable"
"Tora, please I.."
"Save it" He spat "I don't wanna hear it" With that, he turned and stomped up the stairs, leaving his father in the corridor on his own, heaving a heavy sigh. Retiring back into the living room.
Tora entered his room and slipped into bed next to his exhausted looking lover. Shou glanced up at him, his eyes still red and puffy, with a small sad smile on his lips. The raven haired male lay his head on the pillows, instinctively wrapping his arms around him, breathing deeply. Sleep took hold of Shou pretty quickly as he was worn out from crying, and after a while of listening to the steady rhythm of Shou's breathing, Tora nodded off as well. It'd had been a tiring day for both of them, so sleep was welcomed whole heartily.
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Author's Notes- God this chapter was so hard to write, which is probably why it's so short T^T I hope it doesn't sound rushed or anything, it took forever to word everything, even then I thought things needed to be adjusted. I actually thought of Shou's breakdown some months ago, I've just been waiting for the right part of the story to put it in. A sadder chapter this time anyway, things were going too well lol. sorry that it isn't very long, I'll give you an extra long chapter next time to make up for it. Dosn't help that LJ is being a fucking nightmere and messing up every time I try to post this D< it's taken about 2 hours 8 attempts. Thank you to everyone still keeping up with the story, really glad you all continued to read it.