Heart Shaped Clock - Chapter 24

[shou_ni]

Title: Heart Shaped Clock.
Author: shou_ni
Pairing: ToraxShou, some NaoxHiroto
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff, Smut-ish
Disclaimer: I dont own anyone, just the story.
Summary: When a beautiful guy enters Tora's life, he's smitten. Unfortunately Shou has a secret and he doesn't want to share it



Tora didn't move from Shou's bedside for a week, except to use the bathroom and to try to force the stale, tasteless hospital cafeteria food down his throat. Shou had remained unconscious for the entire time, his eyelids not so much as flickering.

Tora was going crazy, it tore him apart to see the love of his life in such condition. Lifeless and gaunt, his skin so pale that it almost looked grey, the only break in his complexion being the dark circles under his eyes and bruised lips.

The others made sure to visit as much as they could. Hiroto and Nao usually dropped in every evening between 6 and 7 and Miyavi would pop in whenever he had a break from his shift. Aki however, didn't visit so much. He came in for an hour or so at the beginning of the week, but then nothing for the rest of the week.

Tora wondered what was so important that kept him from visiting? It was only during a conversation with Miyavi did he find out the reason.

Aki had been covering all of Shou's shifts at the music store so that he wouldn't lose out on his paycheck. Therefore he didn't have enough time between Shou's shift and his own shift at the nightclub he worked at.

"Usually his worked during the day" Miyavi said, resting his chin on his hand "but since he didn't want everything to fall apart at the store he arranged to have his shifts in the evening. He just hasn't had the time to come here, or even sleep for that matter. But he's been calling me every day to see how he is" .

Everyone was on edge, Shou's condition had become more stable over the course of a fought night, on the 10th day he'd opened his eyes, coming round in a haze of pain and confusion. It's always strange when you lose a week of your life, even more so when you wake up in a completely different place altogether.

Tora wasn't to be seen, having gone to the cafeteria for a luke warm bowl of ramen.

He returned to find his lover in a disorientated panic, near hyperventilating.

"Shou, It's alright" He soothed, rushing over to his side and grasping his hand "Calm down baby. It's me"

Shou's chocolate orbs looked up at him, putting all of his focus onto Tora's familiar features.

"Tora?"

"I'm here baby. Try to calm down. C'mon breathe deeply" The elder hushed, pushing the bangs from his eyes and kissing his hand lovingly. Within a few long moments, Shou's panic subsided, allowing him to calm down.

"What happened?" he croaked. "How long have I been out?" His throat was so dry that his voice crackled and was barely audible. Tora took the initiative to pour him a glass of water, using the beds remote to recline the bed ever so slightly. He pulled down the oxygen mask and held the glass to his lips, letting the brunette have his first drink in almost two weeks.

It was only when the glass was placed back on the table did Tora release the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"You've been unconscious for about eleven days. I've been here for ten." He tried to fight back the tears that crept into his eyes."You suffered from a severe heart attack"

It was a futile attempt, before he could stop, he burst into sobs. Hiding his face with his free hand as his shoulders shook.

Shou squeezed his hand feebly, trying to offer what little comfort he could. But after days of not sleeping or eating enough, sitting there worrying himself sick, Tora had reached breaking point.

"You fucking flat lined baby." He sobbed "I was in some fucking art gallery in Paris when Hiroto told me. I felt so helpless"

"Tora.."

"Seeing you like this. It's been tearing me apart, Ripping at me piece by piece until I thought you'd never wake up"

Shou shakily brought the others hand to his lips and placed a loving kiss on it.

"Tora, it's okay now. I'm going to get better okay?" He said softly "I'm sorry to have worried you"

Tora shook his head, furiously wiping at his eyes in a feeble attempt to stop crying "Don't apologize. I'm the one who should be sorry, I should have been there for you"

Weak hands came up to Tora's cheeks, caressing the warm skin with the most gentle smile. Even though they were tired and void of energy, Shou's eyes still reflected the burning love they shared, making Tora's heart swell in his chest.

The next day, Tora had returned to work after being assured that Shou would be in safe hands.

It was seventeen days since he had first been brought in when Shou was finally discharged from the hospital. It had been a long week for the two of them, the apartment was almost silent for Tora and Shou had been moved to another ward. Sharing a room with another young man named Ko-ki whom had undergone a kidney transplant a week prior.

The two got on like a house on fire, despite only knowing each other for a week. The again, being in a room with someone for every minute of the day does allow you to know alot about a person in only seven days.

Then came the day of Shou's discharge, they exchanged emails and the promise to say in touch before he left.

His body was still fragile and tired, making walking quite a chore. Thus he had been escorted home by Tora in a wheelchair. The doctor had instructed him to avoid anything that might cause an increased heartbeat in case it triggered another heart attack. Mean rest, rest and another dose of rest.

It felt so good to be home, away from the noisy machines, polished floors and cold atmosphere. Away from the nurses and cleaners and other patients. Just Shou, Tora and Chickin -who had spent the week living with Nao and being bothered by an inquisitive Mogu.

It felt like an eternity since they'd been together, laying in bed with nothing better to do than just tracing circles on skin.

"I've really missed this" Shou sighed as he pressed a kiss to Tora's naked torso.

"You and me both. This bed has been so lonely without you. I never realized just how big it was without you in it"

Shou scoffed in mock hurt, giving Tora's shoulder a small punch.

"Are you calling me fat?"

"Obese" Tora laughed, prodding at the youngers protruding ribs with a quirked brow, "But seriously, looks like you need some of my mind blowingly delicious cooking inside of you"

Shou smirked, trailing small kisses down the raven haired's chest, his breath ghosting over his nipple.

"I know another mind blowing thing of yours that I need inside of me"

"Now don't get all horny on me Shou. You know the doctor has banned you from anything strenuous. Which includes any sexual activity"

Shou let out a small groan, tightening the grip he had around the others torso.

"Please Tora. Just a quickie"

"No. If Miyavi found out that I had disobeyed the doctors orders, he'd castrate me. It's only for a week or so baby" He smiled softly, tilting his chin to give him a kiss on his currently pouting lips.

"It's not even about wanting to be fucked" The brunette protested "I just want to pleasure you. You've been without sex for such a long time. Please Tora just let me do something for you.. anything"

Tora couldn't hold back the chuckle that reverberated in his throat.

"Wow, I've never had anyone beg to do things to me before. How can I refuse?" Shou did have a point. Being apart for almost three weeks would have been bad enough, but for weeks prior Shou had avoided anything of a sexual nature apart from giving Tora the odd blow job here and there to tide his appetite over when he suffered the side effects of his medication. It was the least he could do for his wonderfully patient lover.

With a triumphant grin, Shou crawled over him and placed small ghosting kisses on his neck.

"I've missed you baby" Tora breathed as dainty fingers worked on removing his pants, shimmying them down his long legs before throwing them somewhere across the room. Shou's tongue lazily wandered over Tora's nipple, making his back arch when he bit down albeit too sharply.

He pressed his lips to the abused bud once more before migrating, heading straight for his target, which was already hard by the time he got there.

"I've missed you and your wonderfully adorable cock" He smiled, causing Tora to sit up on his elbows.

"What the hell Shou? Adorable?"

"Yeah, if you put googly eyes on it, he'd look just like a eel or something" Shou said, with such a straight face that Tora couldn't help but laugh.

"There's that innocent little virgin that I deflowered once upon a time ago. I was wondering where he had got to"

Tora's chuckles were cut off as a not so innocent hand pumped his length, caressing him at a painfully slow pace. Leaning in to give the shaft a teasing lick.

A long, torturous trail to the head before his entire cock was engulfed in that sinfully sweet warmth.

"Oh god" Tora's head fell back for a moment before looking propping himself back up on his elbows. Fingers fisted into honey brown hair as Shou began bobbing his head, creating such deliciously vulgar noises that only proved to turn Tora on even more.

The small humming sounds sending vibrations and the gentle scraping of teeth only helped to drive Tora more and more insane, watching intently as his hard cock slipped effortlessly past his lovers plush lips. The sight alone was enough to make him want to cum.

"Fuck... Shou..."

Even though slightly gaunt, the brunette still emitted the sweet boy-next-door vibe that he always found so endearing. And of course, that boy-next-door had a dirty side, which he enjoyed very much.

His fingers brushed the bangs from Shou's face, giving him a much better view and boy was it a sight to behold.

Shou's nose brushing the base of his cock as his shaft slid to the back of his throat with each smooth motion. Such deep throating talent that Tora himself had yet to master.

he felt that familiar heat pooling in his stomach, causing his hips to buck up unexpectedly.

Shou's pace quickened, never wavering even for a second.

"Shou I can't.. I'm gonna.."

His grip tightened around Shou's hair, close to ripping it out as he suddenly orgasmed deep in the others throat, crying out in pure bliss. Shou milked him of every last drop, swallowing his release without wasting even a bit.

Tora eventually came down from his high and released his iron grip on the younger's hair, pulling him into a warm embrace.

"Sorry" The elder said sheepishly "I pulled your hair too hard then didn't I?"

"Nah it's fine." The brunette replied giving him a warm smile.

"I will never get tired of you doing that" He sighed happily "You're just so damn perfect"

"i think it's safe to say, that is the best meal I've had all week" Shou smirked, resting his head on Tora's slightly sweaty chest.

"Just wait until you're well enough, The things I'm gonna do to you. We might need to keep that wheel chair for a bit longer"

A small grin crept onto Shou lips, he was certainly looking forward to his recovery.

The two later shared a hot bath, which for Shou felt a million times better than amazing after laying in bed for weeks without being able to wash properly. The only chance he'd had to clean himself was the odd shower whenever one of the nurses was kind enough to help him too the wet room.

Tora's hands on his skin, the way he massaged the shampoo into his hair, the small kisses on his shoulder, it all felt so blissful. The skin on skin contact being something that he sorely missed.

When the water started to cool, they headed back to the bedroom, laying together in a comfortable silence. Not needing to say a single word as sleep embraced them.

It was a few days later when Shou was in the office. Sat at the desk with a somber expression. He hadn't been feeling much like himself over the past days. There was something itching at him yet he couldn't figure it out.

He'd been thinking about the future. The recent near death turn bringing reality violently back to the forefront of his mind. Where would he go from here? He couldn't simply stop trying to live his life, but then he wasn't exactly in a position to make long term plans.

His worries didn't just stop at his imminent demise, oh no. He had responsibilities that stretched much further than that.

Would Miyavi be able to find someone to take his place at the music store? Would Hiroto accomplish his dreams of being a rockstar? Would Aki find happiness? Would Chickin be okay?

And most importantly..

Would Tora fall in love again?

The last one played on his mind. Of course he wanted to be selfish and be the only person that Tora ever had feelings for. But then, more than anything in the world he wanted the other to be happy and taken care of. He wanted him to find someone to make him feel the way Tora had made himself feel. Someone could embrace his love and happiness, that could chase his demons away when he was sad. Be the person that Shou never could and love him until they were old and grey.

He sighed deeply, opening one of the draws of the desk and taking out a folder.

A thick leather folder with a combination lock, the file that contained all of his affairs and paperwork. Everything from his birth certificate to the draft of his will.

It was as if his entire life was confined within it's very pages. Slowly he turned the numbers, entering the combination before opening it up.

A small smile graced his lips as his eyes fell upon the first page.

Big letters at the top of the paper reading 'Shou's bucket list.'

Upon first glance, it looked long, one might wonder if it was even possible to complete all of them. In reality, his ambitions weren't so demanding. Just little things such as 'Eat a deep fired icecream cake' or 'sleep in a hammock'. He was pleased to find that he had already achieved the latter.

Looking at the list stirred up mixed emotions, The satisfaction of having competed a number of things on the list. But also an emptiness inside, a void. He'd once had dreams, huge ambitions that he was working towards ,but then upon being diagnosed as terminal, he'd forgotten all about them. Putting them aside and cursing his foolishness.

Shaking those feelings off, he turned a few pages in search of something. Only to slam the folder shut and throw it back into the draw as he heard the door open.

"Hey babe" Tora smiled giving him a kiss on the cheek "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just came to check my emails" He lied.

The taller male cocked an eyebrow, glancing at the computer screen which was black.

"You might wanna turn it on then" He chuckled. "Anyway I'm gonna go out with Nao for a few hours. Hiroto said he'll come round and spend some time with you in a bit"

Shou barely responded, a simple nod and weak smile. Though it seemed to satisfy Tora who pressed a warm kiss to his lips before exiting the room.

When he heard the front door close, Shou pulled the folder back out from the draw.

There was something that he was looking for, a name.

Kohara Osamu.

His father.

In his 23 years upon earth he had never once written to his father. His Grandmother had told him stories of Osamu. He'd once been a respectable student with a bright future, who had fallen in love with one of his collage classmates. Before they knew it she was pregnant.

Then one morning he was gone.

Only a note pinned to the fridge with a quickly written apology, nothing more. He'd run away from his problems, leaving behind a young pregnant woman to bring up a child on her own. Of course it wasn't long before she began falling into anger and distress after Shou's birth. Post natal depression had struck her hard, driving her to drugs. By the time Shou was two she had been put in prison for dealing heroine.

Shou had never met his father, but in recent years had acquired an address. Unfortunately he could never gather the courage to contact him, until now.

No time like the present? He though, taking out a pen and paper.

He mused over his thoughts. What exactly do you say to the man who abandoned you, who missed your entire life? Needless to say, putting his thoughts into words was going to be more difficult that anticipated.

Shou had just about finished his letter when Hiroto knocked on the door. Shoving a box of seioubo into his arms as he crossed the threshold and kicked off his shoes.

"Sorry I haven't been round this week, I've been swamped with assignments" The blonde sighed, throwing himself down on the couch.

Shou joined him on the arm of the chair "It's okay, Tora's been running around trying to nurse me back to health since I got back home. He even followed orders not to put too much strain on my heart so banned me from sex. Honestly I had to practically beg him to let me give him oral"

Hiroto grimaced, wrinkling his nose "Ew... too much information there buddy".

He suppressed the blush that threatened to ignite his cheeks, normally talking about sex lives wouldn't bother him, he was an adult right? But whenever it came to Shou's intimate experiences he always got so flustered.

How annoying.

"All of that aside" He said, quickly changing the subject to avoid further embarrassment "How are you feeling now?"

Shou smiled softly, cracking open the box of seioubo and raising one to his lips.

"Not too bad, I mean... my chest still hurts as to be expected but it's nothing too painful. I'm more tired than anything else"

"Well just don't push yourself okay?" The younger said kindly, shoving the sweet not so softly into the brunettes mouth. "I want you to be healthy for my stag night"

Shou grinned, dropping down on the couch cushion, resting his knees between Hiroto's legs. "So you're actually having one now?" He asked, shoveling another seioubo into his mouth. Being in hospital for so long had made him appreciate the taste of good food. The food at the hospital could hardly be called edible, let alone tasty.

"Yeah." The other nodded with a smile "Nao said it would be fun to do it. He's having one with his friends and I'm having one with mine. I only want a small affair though so I think it'll just be You, Ruki, Hitsugi, Miyavi and I. Yet to decide on where it's gonna be though" He mused.

"What... no Aki?" Shou question, making Hiroto frown deeply.

"Defiantly not. I don't want that asshole ruining the fun" he spat, crossing his arms in a childish manner.

"What are you talking about. Aki's your friend."

"No, we're not talking anymore. We had a fight and I realized that I hate him" The blonde angrily grabbed some of the sweets and shoved him not so gracefully into his mouth "I don't even want him at the wedding."

"What the fuck? What did you fight about?" Shou was in disbelief. How could his two best friends hate each other? That was not good.

Hiroto merely shrugged "He's a selfish asshole who doesn't care about anyone but himself. Hell, he barely gave a shit that you almost died Shou. He didn't even fucking visit you"

The brunette rose to his feet, his eyebrows furrowing.

"You don't know the first thing about that. You're right that he didn't visit but that's because he's been covering my shifts at work so that I wouldn't get short for money" Normally Shou wasn't one to lose his temper so quickly but for some reason, Hiroto had struck a cord in him. "And just because you had a stupid fight doesn't mean you should instantly hate each other. The three of us have been friends for years, how can you just fall out like this. For fuck sake Hiroto grow up"

Angrily he stomped off into the kitchen, followed by a dumbfounded Hiroto.

Sheepishly he looked at the elder, who was busying himself with washing the dishes in an attempt to calm himself down, the walk to the kitchen had taken his breath away, leaving him panting slightly.

"Shou.." He hesitated, seeing the other carry on with his chore. "Look, things between me and Aki have been tense for a few weeks. We just clashed, that's all"

"But you never used to clash" Shou snapped "Something must've happened to change things. Can't you just be friends again?"

"I don't know, it's complicated..."

Shou's hands clenched the sink tightly, head lowered between his shoulders.

"Hiroto" He spoke quietly, though obviously suppressing the frustration "I didn't want to ever use this against you... But I'm dying. You and Aki are my best friends and all I want for the two of you is happiness. I want you two to be there for each other. The last thing I want is you two to drift away. Okay? do you understand how much this means to me?"

"Shou..."

"Put it this way, if Aki isn't at the wedding or the stag night, then I won't be going either"

The younger was defeated. Shou was far too stubborn for him to carry on arguing. So instead he perched himself at the table and rested his chin upon his hand.

"You're a tenacious dick sometimes, y'know that?" he muttered, teasing a smile from Shou's lips.

"So I've been told" The other retorted before he joined Hiroto at the table. They stayed silent for a few moments, before Shou put his cell phone on the table and slid it in Hiroto's direction.

"Call him. You don't even have to say sorry, just.. reconcile. Please?"

A heaved sigh and a reluctant nod put a smile on his face. He reached over to ruffle blonde locks as he rose from the chair. It figured that Hiroto would want some privacy if he was going to put a small dent in his pride.

When he heard Shou go back into the living room, he carefully picked up the phone and with one last long breath he dialed Aki's number.

"Aki, Hey..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Authors Notes - I'm back. I've had a few assignments swallowing my life over the past few weeks, which meant I simply haven't had any time to write. I have two more to get through so it might be a little longer until the next update. Please be patient. 
This chapter was a strange one to write, there was so many thing I wanted to say but having no time I had to cram it all together (this is actually 2 chapters condensed into one) Not good ><#
Anywhoooo Shou's back home, let's hope he can sort things out in his head and recover fully soon.

Comments are motivation.