(no subject)
[Filter: Locked against the bad guys]
Whew! I'm tuckered out.
Don't get me wrong. If anyone wants to totally get freaky with me---girls, I mean---I could still rev it up for several hours if not all night long.
But my point is, I've been awesomely training. My skills are easily on par with the best of swordsmen by now. In fact, I could probably beat anyone in a duel or something. I'm really not looking for challenges, though. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if I win. I'm a stand-up guy like that.
[a couple drops of moisture dot the page here]
Like seriously---see those? That's sweat cuz I'm working so hard here. Ladies, please don't hurt yourselves in the process of trying to find me, but just imagine the sweat dripping from my totally-ripped man-frame. I'll be at the Stubborn Donkeyman tonight until real late----like, manly-late---and then I'll be retiring to the usual spot. Oh yeah. You know where.
Sheesh, I'm bored. Where's Ace or someone fun (or better yet, someone hot)?
[Filter: Private]
Revised List of Total Hotties
1) Viki
PROS: Still hot as ever.
CONS: Still no sex drive or even a basic understanding. Has she even been to first base before? Have I?
2) Queen
PROS: Like I previously established, I'm not too proud to date an older woman. And having seen her (albeit from dark corners while hiding)---she is THE HOTNESS.
CONS: She's awfully cranky. Plus, she'll probably be like my team-member soon. That might complicate our undoubtedly wild sex life. I mean, what if the other dudes wanted a piece? Could I share?
3) Odessa
PROS: I do like redheads. And she's always nice enough to me. She's pretty hot!
CONS: I guess she dated Flik. I don't mind sloppy seconds, but what if we're doin' it and she starts calling his name in the heat of the passion? Plus, wasn't she dead?
4) Aila
PROS: She's okay I guess. Why is she on my list?!
CONS: Just about everything. I'm not sure why I put her down. She can't hold a candle to Lucia. I mean, Lucia sneaks into your bedroom to totally KILL you (though she'd probably bait you with hot sex first---mmm BABY.) Aila's so dumb she'd probably KNOCK.
5) Cleo
PROS: She's still pretty sexy---a take-charge kind of woman. And she saved my life, so I know she's in love with me.
CONS: She's a busybody. Hanging around Gremio has NOT been good for her. Plus, I don't want to wreck my friendship with Tir, so if we broke up or something, that might strain things.
6) Meg
PROS: She's cute.
CONS: She doesn't yet realize that she wants me. Also, her annoying uncle, and those damnable barrels. I think Gadget Z wants to violate me.
7) Jeane
PROS: She's totally here now! Oh my god, that rack! Those legs! She makes me SO HOT. I WANT TO BANG HER.
CONS: She's not really close right now (though I can fix that, heheheh). And why do I always get all tongue-tied when I'm around her?
That's all for now.
Whew! I'm tuckered out.
Don't get me wrong. If anyone wants to totally get freaky with me---girls, I mean---I could still rev it up for several hours if not all night long.
But my point is, I've been awesomely training. My skills are easily on par with the best of swordsmen by now. In fact, I could probably beat anyone in a duel or something. I'm really not looking for challenges, though. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if I win. I'm a stand-up guy like that.
[a couple drops of moisture dot the page here]
Like seriously---see those? That's sweat cuz I'm working so hard here. Ladies, please don't hurt yourselves in the process of trying to find me, but just imagine the sweat dripping from my totally-ripped man-frame. I'll be at the Stubborn Donkeyman tonight until real late----like, manly-late---and then I'll be retiring to the usual spot. Oh yeah. You know where.
Sheesh, I'm bored. Where's Ace or someone fun (or better yet, someone hot)?
[Filter: Private]
Revised List of Total Hotties
1) Viki
PROS: Still hot as ever.
CONS: Still no sex drive or even a basic understanding. Has she even been to first base before? Have I?
2) Queen
PROS: Like I previously established, I'm not too proud to date an older woman. And having seen her (albeit from dark corners while hiding)---she is THE HOTNESS.
CONS: She's awfully cranky. Plus, she'll probably be like my team-member soon. That might complicate our undoubtedly wild sex life. I mean, what if the other dudes wanted a piece? Could I share?
3) Odessa
PROS: I do like redheads. And she's always nice enough to me. She's pretty hot!
CONS: I guess she dated Flik. I don't mind sloppy seconds, but what if we're doin' it and she starts calling his name in the heat of the passion? Plus, wasn't she dead?
4) Aila
PROS: She's okay I guess. Why is she on my list?!
CONS: Just about everything. I'm not sure why I put her down. She can't hold a candle to Lucia. I mean, Lucia sneaks into your bedroom to totally KILL you (though she'd probably bait you with hot sex first---mmm BABY.) Aila's so dumb she'd probably KNOCK.
5) Cleo
PROS: She's still pretty sexy---a take-charge kind of woman. And she saved my life, so I know she's in love with me.
CONS: She's a busybody. Hanging around Gremio has NOT been good for her. Plus, I don't want to wreck my friendship with Tir, so if we broke up or something, that might strain things.
6) Meg
PROS: She's cute.
CONS: She doesn't yet realize that she wants me. Also, her annoying uncle, and those damnable barrels. I think Gadget Z wants to violate me.
7) Jeane
PROS: She's totally here now! Oh my god, that rack! Those legs! She makes me SO HOT. I WANT TO BANG HER.
CONS: She's not really close right now (though I can fix that, heheheh). And why do I always get all tongue-tied when I'm around her?
That's all for now.