a_to_z_prompts fic: "Grief", Sky-centric, PG
Title: Impressions
Author: Mary (shurimon & shurifanstuffs on Livejournal)
Fandom: Power Rangers S.P.D.
Letter: E for End
Rating: PG
Summary: A pre-series fic. Just when Sky thinks his friendship with Dru has come to an end, he receives some devastating news.
Disclaimer/Author's Notes/Spoiler Warning: Takes place in the same universe as Tested, Compatability and Impressions. Mentions of a canonical character death (or "death" in this case). I don't own the characters and make no claim to.
Blast, blast, blast.
Three targets shattered.
The computer automatically reset.
Blast, blast blast.
"...Sky? You've been at that for quite a while. Why don't you give it a rest and do something else?"
Blast, blast, blast.
"If you won't sit with your friends and let us take your mind off things, at least stop THIS. Hit a punching bag instead, maybe? Hunt a level-four monster on the simulator? Something? Anything?"
Reset. Blast, blast, blast.
"Alright, I can take a hint. If obsessively shooting at targets is the way you deal with your feelings, I won't be the one who tries to get in your way."
Shatter. Reset. All over again.
* * *
"No luck, huh?"
"Nope," Syd sighed, flopping onto the couch next to Bridge. "Not like I really expected a response from him either way, but I was kind of hoping he'd be ready to talk to us by now, at least."
"That's Sky, though," said Bridge with a shrug. "He's not exactly chatty at the best of times, and then something like this happening to him..."
"I'm still worried," pouted Syd. "... Bridge, you know Dru, don't you?" She was interested to see Bridge's expression harden just slightly. "He and Sky are pretty close, huh?"
"Yeah," said Bridge. "Sky and Dru were pretty much inseparable since their first day here, so it was hard enough on him when Dru left, and then for him to suddenly cut off all communication like that? It's su- ...strange."
"Strange, or something else?" Syd prodded him. "You started to say something different. You've got something on your mind, don't you?" Bridge glanced left and right, as though wary of someone listening in- or perhaps making sure that Sky wasn't on his way into the rec room- before he leaned in toward Syd, lowering his voice.
"I was going to say 'suspicious', alright?" he told her. "I never got along with Dru and always got... well, to put it in plain not-Bridge terms, bad vibes from him. Sky knows that, and he always wrote it off as us having incompatible personalities, and before now, I had no reason to think it was anything different, either. You have to admit something doesn't seem right, though. He makes sure to call Sky every opportunity he gets for so long, then all of a sudden, nothing? And he gives no explanation for it- no 'I'm going on a mission', no 'I'll be someplace where I can't call or e-mail you'? If something had happened to him in the line of duty, we would have heard it by now. Sky said the last time he talked to Dru, Dru sounded harried about something and almost completely blew him off, too." There was a long pause while Syd digested this. She'd known of Sky's friend, but had never actually met him, having been on a different squad before she met her teammates.
"... It IS a little strange," she said slowly.
"The thing is, though, I have no PROOF," said Bridge, frustrated. "All I have is a hunch, and that's not going to convince anybody, least of all Sky, that Dru might be up to something. So all I can do is keep my mouth shut and hope that it's really nothing. We'd better hope that it is for Sky's sake."
* * *
"Cadet Tate?"
Sky was finally forced to abandon his repetitious target practice when Commander Cruger addressed him. He turned off the computer simulation, stood up straight, and saluted Cruger, who gestured silently for Sky to follow him. The two walked around the base in silence for a while, Sky's mind beginning to churn- and his heart to ache- once more now that he didn't have to focus all of his being on making perfect shots every time.
"Tate... ... Sky." Sky was snapped out of his revere when the Commander addressed him by first name, which was very uncommon. "Come into my office." Sky, swallowing a lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, did so, sitting down when Cruger invited him to.
"Sir? What is it?" he asked politely.
"I came looking for you because I have... some news to deliver. Now, I do not want you to panic, or to assume the worst... but it's about Cadet Harrington." Sky's heart began to pound. This was it, he thought, it had to be it, the news he was dreading- "He has been missing for two days now. He left on a solo mission and has not been heard from since, despite extensive searching." Sky tried to keep his face impassive when Cruger got up and put his paws on his shoulders. "They told me they are operating under the assumption that he has simply gotten lost or that his communications have gone down for some reason; it wouldn't be the first time that's happened to one of our officers. I will let you know the second I hear anything different."
"... Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," said Sky when he'd found his voice, his mind racing, spinning, churning even harder than before now.
"Are you going to be alright?"
"Yes, sir. Will that be all?"
"...Sky, if you want to talk, you know that I am here, right?"
"Yes, sir."
"Do not hesitate you talk to your teammates, either. Or Dr. Manx."
"...Yes, sir." Cruger said nothing more, merely looked at Sky with concern. Sky assumed that he was silently being dismissed, so he got up and exited, walking faster when he wasn't called back. He found his feet carrying him toward the rec room and nearly went there, just to see if Bridge and Syd were around. They were friendly faces... he could just sit with them, didn't have to tell them that Dru was missing... it would help take his mind off it, perhaps...
Two minutes later, however, he found himself back at the range.
Mind focused completely on one thing- hit the targets.
Blast, blast, blast.
* * *
At 9 o'clock that night, when Sky still had not returned from the shooting range, Bridge and Syd mutually agreed to go there and drag him away, using as much force as they had to if need be. First, however, they were going to try and appeal to his stomach; Bridge carried a tray laden with food fresh from the synthesizer. They hoped the smell would entice him, as he had yet to eat that day.
"Hey, Sky," Syd said casually when they entered. Sky seemed to be taking a break; he was standing against one wall, his right arm at his side, hand still clutching his laser blaster, staring out into space. "We've brought you some dinner!"
"... Sky? Hellooo?" Bridge questioned, waving a hand in front of the taller man's face when he didn't respond. Sky blinked hard, shook his head, then looked over at Bridge and Syd. "Hungry?" Bridge offered, holding the tray out to him. Sky seemed about to deny that he was, but then his stomach growled loudly, so he nodded. "Rec room?"
"Our room," Sky said quietly, and Bridge and Syd glanced at each other with raised eyebrows before letting Sky lead the way out, back through the rec room and into Bridge and Sky's shared dorm room. Sky sat at his desk and began to eat, slowly and methodically. Bridge and Syd watched him, Bridge perched cross-legged on top of his own bed and Syd in the chair next to his rather untidy computer desk.
"Is something the matter, Sky?" Syd finally ventured, then before he could respond, she added, "And if you're thinking about denying it, don't; even you aren't THAT obsessed with perfecting your shooting accuracy. Something happened. If you don't feel like you can tell us, then you're never going to fully trust us."
"Alright. Alright," Sky sighed, distractedly running his fingers through his hair, then tugging his shirt down, a nervous habit of his. "It's about Dru." Bridge drew his breath in sharply. "I haven't heard from him in a while, and I was starting to get worried, and then Cruger told me-" All three then jumped when Sky's cell phone began to ring; he immediately pulled it out of his pocket, his expression briefly changing to pure ecstasy, then leapt up and practically ran from the room. They could see him exiting the rec room before the dorm room door automatically closed.
"Should we follow him?" Syd said, half-risen from her seat.
"...No," said Bridge after a pause. "Judging by his reaction, I can guess who that was."
* * *
Sky's phone had barely rung three times before he was in the hallway outside the rec room, where he had a little privacy. He whipped it open and held it to his ear.
"Dru?" he asked eagerly. "You've- you've been found!"
"Sky." The reply was terse, clipped. Unlike the Dru he knew. "I have no time to talk. I just need to tell you something."
"... What is it?" Sky waited... and waited... the seconds becoming more and more agonizing the longer the pause was. "Dru? Are you there? What's going on?" However- his heart sank when there was no reply except blank noise. He glanced at the phone's screen to see that the call had dropped; desperately, he tried calling back, only to be told that Dru's number was out of range. Sky left a voicemail then sent off a quick text to him before nearly throwing down his phone in a rage; however, knowing that would be stupid in case he called back, he pocketed the phone instead. He then stood frozen to the spot, his heart pulling him back toward his dorm room, to Syd and Bridge (as much as he hated to admit it to himself, he wanted their closeness and comfort badly), his head pulling him toward Delta Command, to tell Cruger what had just happened.
Finally, he made up his mind...
...to do nothing except wander out of the base, away from it all, away from his heart and his head, walking out into the night, losing himself in the still-bustling Newtech City.
He walked for what felt like hours, but in reality was probably only half an hour or so, when his phone rang again. He eagerly scooped it out of his pocket, but almost cried out with misery when he saw that it was just Bridge. He considered not answering it, but knew that he and Syd were definitely worried, might even have been looking for him, and that he, Sky, could get in serious trouble for being out of the base this late without permission.
"... 'lo, Bridge."
"Was it him?" Sky was shocked at Bridge's bluntness; usually, out of their group, he had the most tact, and he expected to hear a "where are you?" even before that.
"Yeah, it was, and no, I don't wanna talk about it, except to tell Cruger I heard from him so he can pass it on."
"I understand," said Bridge quietly. "Come back, will you? I don't know where you are, and you don't have to tell me, just come back. You don't even have to talk to me and Syd."
"... Alright. See you in a bit, little buddy."
"Bye." Sky hung up and sighed deeply; now that he'd run away and had his moment, he decided to do both what his head and his heart were telling him.
* * *
Bridge wandered around the base for as long as he could possibly find excuses for, wanting to give Sky an opportunity to come back, get to their dorm room, and sleep- or at least pretend to be asleep- if he wanted to. Finally, his own eyelids beginning to droop, he made his way back to find that Sky was on his side on his bed, facing away from Bridge. His breathing was slow and steady, and Bridge noticed with a pang of sadness that he slept with one hand firmly clutching his cell phone, knowing that he was hoping for- even expecting- it to ring again.
Bridge changed into his pajamas himself, fighting down a sudden urge to go over to wake Sky and just hug him- a gesture he knew his best friend would probably scorn and snub, even at a time like this, but one he felt Sky needed. His negative feelings about Dru weren't enough to quash his caring for Sky, and Bridge hated seeing him like that. He knew Sky was likely going through hell at the moment- he didn't know exactly what had happened, through apparently Cruger had told him some bad news, and Bridge had a theory about what it was.
He stood hovering over Sky's bed for a long while, then sighed, lay down on his own bunk, pulled the covers over himself and watched him instead. Sky seemed to shiver every so often, but never moved from his position on his side, at least not as long as Bridge was looking at him through half-closed lids-
Morning. Bridge was on his back, the covers wrapped around his limbs. He flung them off and immediately turned his head to see that Sky was gone, his bed neatly made. Bridge bit back a sigh of disappointment and instead went to get himself ready for the day. Neither of his teammates were around when he came into the rec room, so he ate a lonely breakfast before searching, either for them, or for Cruger or Kat to get his training schedule for the day. However, none of them could be found anywhere throughout the base. Bridge checked the lab, Delta Command, and the training rooms at least 3 times. A knock on Syd's door went unanswered. He was starting to get worried; if had had an off-base training exercise that day, surely they would have woken him or at least left word behind?
"Bridge?" Bridge gave a sigh of relief when he went to check the lab for a fourth time and saw Kat's head sticking out of it.
"Oh, good morning, Kat," he said, coming up to her. "Do you know why-" He stopped short when he saw her grim expression.
"Come inside. Syd's here, too," she said, and Bridge did so, the door sliding shut behind them; Kat quickly locked it. "Just want to make sure we aren't disturbed. Sorry that we've been scarce all morning; I took Syd with me to help field test the new alert system on our communicators, and the Commander said to just let you sleep." Bridge nodded slowly, suppressing the urge to ask several questions that had just arisen in his mind. "If you're wondering where Sky is, he's... with the Commander right now." Bridge and Syd watched Kat, Bridge starting to feel a great sense of foreboding. "...He received word about Dru. They found his ship, crashed near the point he was supposed to have landed on his mission. They're pretty sure he's dead."
Syd's hands flew to her mouth. Bridge's jaw dropped, the news struggling to penetrate his mind. Dead?
"Officially he's MIA," Kat went on, her voice trembling slightly. "They haven't found a body or any trace of one. But considering the area of the galaxy he was in- Onyx is a nest of violent criminal activity- and that he was in an S.P.D. ship when he was last seen, even if he WAS undercover... criminals don't take well to finding out that we're trying to infiltrate them." Her voice broke slightly, and she turned her head away.
"But he just called Sky last night," said Bridge, his brain struggling to comprehend what he had just heard. "Was the wreck... ah... fresh?"
"Yes," said Kat in a small voice.
"How's Sky taking it?" Syd asked, her voice practically a whisper.
"He refused to accept it at first," said Kat. "When I left him and the Commander alone... he wasn't doing too well." Bridge screwed his eyes shut, his heart hurting for Sky- and even for Dru. As much as he'd disliked him, he never in a million years have wanted him to DIE... and what a way to go, crash landing on a planet filled with criminals who would be more than eager to get their hands on an S.P.D. officer to make an example of him...
They were shaken out of their thoughts when Kat's communicator went off.
"Sir?" she said into it at once.
"You've told Syd and Bridge?" Cruger's voice answered.
"Yes, sir."
"Let them know that they have the day off today. I doubt their minds will be on training, and Sky needs their support right now."
"Yes, sir. Over and out." She hung up. "You guys heard?" Syd and Bridge nodded. "Then... all I can tell you is try to relax as much as you can. Be there for Sky if- when he needs you. Don't pressure him to discuss it, and listen when he's ready to talk. Give him space to grieve, and do as much as you can. That's all we can ask of you."
* * *
Sky didn't melt down in Cruger's office when he received the news about Dru's apparent death.
Not completely, anyway.
He was proud of himself for that much.
Of course, he'd still denied, vehemently, that such a thing could be true. Dru had just called him, he couldn't have died so soon after...
Missing. He was missing officially.
Of course, PRESUMED dead. But OFFICIALLY missing. Not that that was a much better option...
He could still be alive. He could still somehow show up, and then he'd go back to the Nebula Academy and recuperate, and Sky would take a week off to go visit him and lambast him for refusing to communicate and then scaring him like that...
But he could be dead, too, of course.
And Sky could live with that hope, the hope that the cold, logical part of his mind knew was vain, was foolish, was not going to do anything good for him in the long run.
Some good hope did...
He didn't cry. He came close to it several times, but he didn't cry. Even though Cruger himself had said that it was okay to, that it was a natural thing to do, even. He told himself he didn't need to cry, that it was weak of him to when there was the stupid possibility that Dru was alive, and if he did turn up, Sky would have cried for nothing...
Such a whirlwind of emotions, of rushing back and forth between feeling so much and not wanting to feel at all, to being sure that Dru was still alive to being just as sure that he was dead, had left him mentally and somehow physically exhausted.
Unsurprisingly, Syd and Bridge were in the rec room when he was finally able to bring himself to leave Cruger's office. He tried to act nonchalant, and not like he'd just spent the past two hours avoiding a complete breakdown in his commanding officer's presence.
Just as unsurprisingly, they looked at him with pity and concern, looked up from their game of chess, mouths open to speak what Sky felt would be empty words of comfort.
Had either of them lost their best friend? He doubted it. At least Cruger knew the pain of loss- which at once made Sky feel relieved and incredibly ashamed. Cruger had lost his entire planet and found the strength to move on- shouldn't he, Sky, be able to quickly do the same?
At any rate, he was sure he didn't want to talk to them right now, and they seemed to detect his feelings, because neither of them followed when he went into his and Bridge's room, threw himself down on the bed, hugged his pillow.
His eyes then fell on the silver S.P.D. bracelet on his right wrist. The bracelet Dru had given him shortly before leaving the planet. Dru's words on that day echoed in his mind.
"Wear this, and no matter where we are in the galaxy, we'll be connected. I'll think of you, and you'll think of me. It's a sign of the links of an unbreakable friendship.
Sky couldn't suppress a sob.
But he wasn't going to cry.
* * *
Bridge waited for half an hour after Sky had gone into their room before he could no longer take it. He rose and began to walk toward their door.
"I'm just going to check on him," he told Syd, who jumped up and looked as though she wanted to stop him. "I don't want him to be alone right now, alright?"
"Okay," said Syd. "But we book it if he's not in the mood." The two entered the room to find Sky lying on his back, looking thoroughly miserable.
At least he's awake? Bridge thought.
"... Hey," he said gently.
"Kat told you guys what happened, I know," was Sky's reply. "I just..." He pushed himself up to look at them, and there was a long, heavy silence before Sky went on, "...want you guys. Here. Close. ... can you do that?"
"Sure," said Syd with a soft smile, and with that, she sat down on the edge of Sky's bed. He didn't object. Bridge considered doing the same, but contented himself with sitting cross-legged on his own bed.
Another silence, the weight of what had happened feeling almost tangible to Bridge.
"...I know I'm not good company," said Sky. Neither Syd nor Bridge spoke, waiting for him to go on. "I feel so mixed-up right now. ...I don't really know how to feel."
"I'd say that's pretty normal," said Syd quietly. "But, you know, it's alright to be sad, too. You've probably heard that a dozen times already, but it's the truth. You've lost your best friend. If I know you, you're probably beating yourself up for being sad, and I wish you wouldn't."
"... Yeah," Sky sighed, then sat up. Bridge watched his eyes fall on the bracelet on his right wrist, his face twisting into an expression of extreme sadness. Grief. Bridge knew the bracelet had been a gift from Dru, but he himself never knew the significance of it.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Syd asked him. "About him, I mean? Maybe it'll help if you remember all the good times you had with him." Another pause, more heavy silence. Sky looked up at them and suddenly burst out,
"It's not fair. IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!" Bridge twitched, and Syd's eyes began to well up with tears as Sky jumped up and began to pace the room, ranting onward, his voice rising the more he spoke. "He stopped talking to me, and I felt like I did something wrong, even though I KNEW I didn't and if he was mad at me, he would tell me and not just give me the cold shoulder. Then he had to crash and die. He died! I know he's dead, I'm not going to delude myself into thinking there was a possibility that he survived that! WHY? WHY DID HE DIE? WHY IN THE FUCK DO PEOPLE I LOVE JUST UP AND DIE LIKE THAT? I LOST MY FATHER, I LOST DRU, WHO'S GOING TO BE NEXT? CRUGER? KAT? ONE OF YOU GUYS? IT'S NOT- FUCKING- FAIR!"
He then slumped a little, seemingly having run out of energy, and sank back onto his bed, placing his head in his hands and sobbing quietly.
"Sky..." Bridge whispered. Syd threw her arms around him, and Bridge got up and did the same, holding him, whispering whatever words of comfort they could think, until his sobs began to quiet... until he unexpectedly hugged them back... before Bridge and Syd were easing Sky down onto his bunk, letting him cry himself to sleep.
* * *
Bridge's snores were the thing that awoke Sky, more than the rising sun filling their room with bright orange. He wondered briefly why Syd was dozing in Bridge's bed, and why Bridge himself was curled up in a sleeping bag on their floor... before the awful reality washed over him.
Now that he'd let all of his emotions out, he felt empty inside. There was a hole in his heart, a hole left by Dru, that could never be filled again... the second such hole, the first one being left by his father's death.
Both of them killed in the line of duty.
Just like he, Sky, could be.
Just like any of them could be, at any moment, perhaps even that day.
They knew the risk when they accepted the uniform, and yet... a tiny part of Sky was questioning whether or not it was worth it now. If he had the strength to keep walking this chosen path, if he could live up to his own expectations of being the Red Ranger, if he could live every day knowing that he, too, could be killed in the line of duty, and leave loved ones with holes in their hearts.
He then found his eyes traveling over Syd, holding a stuffed elephant in her sleep. Over Bridge... his friend. His best friend, aside from Dru.
They're strong enough to keep this up, too. And sure, I could get killed in the line of duty. Just as easily as I could get a fatal disease or get hit by a bus while I'm crossing the street. ...What am I thinking? I can't live the rest of my life afraid of death or loss. That's not living at all.
Bridge stirred, then suddenly sat up, blinking hard.
"... Morning, Bridge," Sky said quietly, so as not to wake Syd.
"Hey," said Bridge, rubbing his eyes.
Sky looked into Bridge's eyes, and Bridge looked into Sky's.
"Ah... dumb question, probably, but are you doing alright?" Bridge wanted to know.
"... I will be," said Sky.
And it, they both knew, was the truth.
(Crossposted to a_to_z_prompts)
Author: Mary (shurimon & shurifanstuffs on Livejournal)
Fandom: Power Rangers S.P.D.
Letter: E for End
Rating: PG
Summary: A pre-series fic. Just when Sky thinks his friendship with Dru has come to an end, he receives some devastating news.
Disclaimer/Author's Notes/Spoiler Warning: Takes place in the same universe as Tested, Compatability and Impressions. Mentions of a canonical character death (or "death" in this case). I don't own the characters and make no claim to.
Blast, blast, blast.
Three targets shattered.
The computer automatically reset.
Blast, blast blast.
"...Sky? You've been at that for quite a while. Why don't you give it a rest and do something else?"
Blast, blast, blast.
"If you won't sit with your friends and let us take your mind off things, at least stop THIS. Hit a punching bag instead, maybe? Hunt a level-four monster on the simulator? Something? Anything?"
Reset. Blast, blast, blast.
"Alright, I can take a hint. If obsessively shooting at targets is the way you deal with your feelings, I won't be the one who tries to get in your way."
Shatter. Reset. All over again.
* * *
"No luck, huh?"
"Nope," Syd sighed, flopping onto the couch next to Bridge. "Not like I really expected a response from him either way, but I was kind of hoping he'd be ready to talk to us by now, at least."
"That's Sky, though," said Bridge with a shrug. "He's not exactly chatty at the best of times, and then something like this happening to him..."
"I'm still worried," pouted Syd. "... Bridge, you know Dru, don't you?" She was interested to see Bridge's expression harden just slightly. "He and Sky are pretty close, huh?"
"Yeah," said Bridge. "Sky and Dru were pretty much inseparable since their first day here, so it was hard enough on him when Dru left, and then for him to suddenly cut off all communication like that? It's su- ...strange."
"Strange, or something else?" Syd prodded him. "You started to say something different. You've got something on your mind, don't you?" Bridge glanced left and right, as though wary of someone listening in- or perhaps making sure that Sky wasn't on his way into the rec room- before he leaned in toward Syd, lowering his voice.
"I was going to say 'suspicious', alright?" he told her. "I never got along with Dru and always got... well, to put it in plain not-Bridge terms, bad vibes from him. Sky knows that, and he always wrote it off as us having incompatible personalities, and before now, I had no reason to think it was anything different, either. You have to admit something doesn't seem right, though. He makes sure to call Sky every opportunity he gets for so long, then all of a sudden, nothing? And he gives no explanation for it- no 'I'm going on a mission', no 'I'll be someplace where I can't call or e-mail you'? If something had happened to him in the line of duty, we would have heard it by now. Sky said the last time he talked to Dru, Dru sounded harried about something and almost completely blew him off, too." There was a long pause while Syd digested this. She'd known of Sky's friend, but had never actually met him, having been on a different squad before she met her teammates.
"... It IS a little strange," she said slowly.
"The thing is, though, I have no PROOF," said Bridge, frustrated. "All I have is a hunch, and that's not going to convince anybody, least of all Sky, that Dru might be up to something. So all I can do is keep my mouth shut and hope that it's really nothing. We'd better hope that it is for Sky's sake."
* * *
"Cadet Tate?"
Sky was finally forced to abandon his repetitious target practice when Commander Cruger addressed him. He turned off the computer simulation, stood up straight, and saluted Cruger, who gestured silently for Sky to follow him. The two walked around the base in silence for a while, Sky's mind beginning to churn- and his heart to ache- once more now that he didn't have to focus all of his being on making perfect shots every time.
"Tate... ... Sky." Sky was snapped out of his revere when the Commander addressed him by first name, which was very uncommon. "Come into my office." Sky, swallowing a lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, did so, sitting down when Cruger invited him to.
"Sir? What is it?" he asked politely.
"I came looking for you because I have... some news to deliver. Now, I do not want you to panic, or to assume the worst... but it's about Cadet Harrington." Sky's heart began to pound. This was it, he thought, it had to be it, the news he was dreading- "He has been missing for two days now. He left on a solo mission and has not been heard from since, despite extensive searching." Sky tried to keep his face impassive when Cruger got up and put his paws on his shoulders. "They told me they are operating under the assumption that he has simply gotten lost or that his communications have gone down for some reason; it wouldn't be the first time that's happened to one of our officers. I will let you know the second I hear anything different."
"... Yes, sir. Thank you, sir," said Sky when he'd found his voice, his mind racing, spinning, churning even harder than before now.
"Are you going to be alright?"
"Yes, sir. Will that be all?"
"...Sky, if you want to talk, you know that I am here, right?"
"Yes, sir."
"Do not hesitate you talk to your teammates, either. Or Dr. Manx."
"...Yes, sir." Cruger said nothing more, merely looked at Sky with concern. Sky assumed that he was silently being dismissed, so he got up and exited, walking faster when he wasn't called back. He found his feet carrying him toward the rec room and nearly went there, just to see if Bridge and Syd were around. They were friendly faces... he could just sit with them, didn't have to tell them that Dru was missing... it would help take his mind off it, perhaps...
Two minutes later, however, he found himself back at the range.
Mind focused completely on one thing- hit the targets.
Blast, blast, blast.
* * *
At 9 o'clock that night, when Sky still had not returned from the shooting range, Bridge and Syd mutually agreed to go there and drag him away, using as much force as they had to if need be. First, however, they were going to try and appeal to his stomach; Bridge carried a tray laden with food fresh from the synthesizer. They hoped the smell would entice him, as he had yet to eat that day.
"Hey, Sky," Syd said casually when they entered. Sky seemed to be taking a break; he was standing against one wall, his right arm at his side, hand still clutching his laser blaster, staring out into space. "We've brought you some dinner!"
"... Sky? Hellooo?" Bridge questioned, waving a hand in front of the taller man's face when he didn't respond. Sky blinked hard, shook his head, then looked over at Bridge and Syd. "Hungry?" Bridge offered, holding the tray out to him. Sky seemed about to deny that he was, but then his stomach growled loudly, so he nodded. "Rec room?"
"Our room," Sky said quietly, and Bridge and Syd glanced at each other with raised eyebrows before letting Sky lead the way out, back through the rec room and into Bridge and Sky's shared dorm room. Sky sat at his desk and began to eat, slowly and methodically. Bridge and Syd watched him, Bridge perched cross-legged on top of his own bed and Syd in the chair next to his rather untidy computer desk.
"Is something the matter, Sky?" Syd finally ventured, then before he could respond, she added, "And if you're thinking about denying it, don't; even you aren't THAT obsessed with perfecting your shooting accuracy. Something happened. If you don't feel like you can tell us, then you're never going to fully trust us."
"Alright. Alright," Sky sighed, distractedly running his fingers through his hair, then tugging his shirt down, a nervous habit of his. "It's about Dru." Bridge drew his breath in sharply. "I haven't heard from him in a while, and I was starting to get worried, and then Cruger told me-" All three then jumped when Sky's cell phone began to ring; he immediately pulled it out of his pocket, his expression briefly changing to pure ecstasy, then leapt up and practically ran from the room. They could see him exiting the rec room before the dorm room door automatically closed.
"Should we follow him?" Syd said, half-risen from her seat.
"...No," said Bridge after a pause. "Judging by his reaction, I can guess who that was."
* * *
Sky's phone had barely rung three times before he was in the hallway outside the rec room, where he had a little privacy. He whipped it open and held it to his ear.
"Dru?" he asked eagerly. "You've- you've been found!"
"Sky." The reply was terse, clipped. Unlike the Dru he knew. "I have no time to talk. I just need to tell you something."
"... What is it?" Sky waited... and waited... the seconds becoming more and more agonizing the longer the pause was. "Dru? Are you there? What's going on?" However- his heart sank when there was no reply except blank noise. He glanced at the phone's screen to see that the call had dropped; desperately, he tried calling back, only to be told that Dru's number was out of range. Sky left a voicemail then sent off a quick text to him before nearly throwing down his phone in a rage; however, knowing that would be stupid in case he called back, he pocketed the phone instead. He then stood frozen to the spot, his heart pulling him back toward his dorm room, to Syd and Bridge (as much as he hated to admit it to himself, he wanted their closeness and comfort badly), his head pulling him toward Delta Command, to tell Cruger what had just happened.
Finally, he made up his mind...
...to do nothing except wander out of the base, away from it all, away from his heart and his head, walking out into the night, losing himself in the still-bustling Newtech City.
He walked for what felt like hours, but in reality was probably only half an hour or so, when his phone rang again. He eagerly scooped it out of his pocket, but almost cried out with misery when he saw that it was just Bridge. He considered not answering it, but knew that he and Syd were definitely worried, might even have been looking for him, and that he, Sky, could get in serious trouble for being out of the base this late without permission.
"... 'lo, Bridge."
"Was it him?" Sky was shocked at Bridge's bluntness; usually, out of their group, he had the most tact, and he expected to hear a "where are you?" even before that.
"Yeah, it was, and no, I don't wanna talk about it, except to tell Cruger I heard from him so he can pass it on."
"I understand," said Bridge quietly. "Come back, will you? I don't know where you are, and you don't have to tell me, just come back. You don't even have to talk to me and Syd."
"... Alright. See you in a bit, little buddy."
"Bye." Sky hung up and sighed deeply; now that he'd run away and had his moment, he decided to do both what his head and his heart were telling him.
* * *
Bridge wandered around the base for as long as he could possibly find excuses for, wanting to give Sky an opportunity to come back, get to their dorm room, and sleep- or at least pretend to be asleep- if he wanted to. Finally, his own eyelids beginning to droop, he made his way back to find that Sky was on his side on his bed, facing away from Bridge. His breathing was slow and steady, and Bridge noticed with a pang of sadness that he slept with one hand firmly clutching his cell phone, knowing that he was hoping for- even expecting- it to ring again.
Bridge changed into his pajamas himself, fighting down a sudden urge to go over to wake Sky and just hug him- a gesture he knew his best friend would probably scorn and snub, even at a time like this, but one he felt Sky needed. His negative feelings about Dru weren't enough to quash his caring for Sky, and Bridge hated seeing him like that. He knew Sky was likely going through hell at the moment- he didn't know exactly what had happened, through apparently Cruger had told him some bad news, and Bridge had a theory about what it was.
He stood hovering over Sky's bed for a long while, then sighed, lay down on his own bunk, pulled the covers over himself and watched him instead. Sky seemed to shiver every so often, but never moved from his position on his side, at least not as long as Bridge was looking at him through half-closed lids-
Morning. Bridge was on his back, the covers wrapped around his limbs. He flung them off and immediately turned his head to see that Sky was gone, his bed neatly made. Bridge bit back a sigh of disappointment and instead went to get himself ready for the day. Neither of his teammates were around when he came into the rec room, so he ate a lonely breakfast before searching, either for them, or for Cruger or Kat to get his training schedule for the day. However, none of them could be found anywhere throughout the base. Bridge checked the lab, Delta Command, and the training rooms at least 3 times. A knock on Syd's door went unanswered. He was starting to get worried; if had had an off-base training exercise that day, surely they would have woken him or at least left word behind?
"Bridge?" Bridge gave a sigh of relief when he went to check the lab for a fourth time and saw Kat's head sticking out of it.
"Oh, good morning, Kat," he said, coming up to her. "Do you know why-" He stopped short when he saw her grim expression.
"Come inside. Syd's here, too," she said, and Bridge did so, the door sliding shut behind them; Kat quickly locked it. "Just want to make sure we aren't disturbed. Sorry that we've been scarce all morning; I took Syd with me to help field test the new alert system on our communicators, and the Commander said to just let you sleep." Bridge nodded slowly, suppressing the urge to ask several questions that had just arisen in his mind. "If you're wondering where Sky is, he's... with the Commander right now." Bridge and Syd watched Kat, Bridge starting to feel a great sense of foreboding. "...He received word about Dru. They found his ship, crashed near the point he was supposed to have landed on his mission. They're pretty sure he's dead."
Syd's hands flew to her mouth. Bridge's jaw dropped, the news struggling to penetrate his mind. Dead?
"Officially he's MIA," Kat went on, her voice trembling slightly. "They haven't found a body or any trace of one. But considering the area of the galaxy he was in- Onyx is a nest of violent criminal activity- and that he was in an S.P.D. ship when he was last seen, even if he WAS undercover... criminals don't take well to finding out that we're trying to infiltrate them." Her voice broke slightly, and she turned her head away.
"But he just called Sky last night," said Bridge, his brain struggling to comprehend what he had just heard. "Was the wreck... ah... fresh?"
"Yes," said Kat in a small voice.
"How's Sky taking it?" Syd asked, her voice practically a whisper.
"He refused to accept it at first," said Kat. "When I left him and the Commander alone... he wasn't doing too well." Bridge screwed his eyes shut, his heart hurting for Sky- and even for Dru. As much as he'd disliked him, he never in a million years have wanted him to DIE... and what a way to go, crash landing on a planet filled with criminals who would be more than eager to get their hands on an S.P.D. officer to make an example of him...
They were shaken out of their thoughts when Kat's communicator went off.
"Sir?" she said into it at once.
"You've told Syd and Bridge?" Cruger's voice answered.
"Yes, sir."
"Let them know that they have the day off today. I doubt their minds will be on training, and Sky needs their support right now."
"Yes, sir. Over and out." She hung up. "You guys heard?" Syd and Bridge nodded. "Then... all I can tell you is try to relax as much as you can. Be there for Sky if- when he needs you. Don't pressure him to discuss it, and listen when he's ready to talk. Give him space to grieve, and do as much as you can. That's all we can ask of you."
* * *
Sky didn't melt down in Cruger's office when he received the news about Dru's apparent death.
Not completely, anyway.
He was proud of himself for that much.
Of course, he'd still denied, vehemently, that such a thing could be true. Dru had just called him, he couldn't have died so soon after...
Missing. He was missing officially.
Of course, PRESUMED dead. But OFFICIALLY missing. Not that that was a much better option...
He could still be alive. He could still somehow show up, and then he'd go back to the Nebula Academy and recuperate, and Sky would take a week off to go visit him and lambast him for refusing to communicate and then scaring him like that...
But he could be dead, too, of course.
And Sky could live with that hope, the hope that the cold, logical part of his mind knew was vain, was foolish, was not going to do anything good for him in the long run.
Some good hope did...
He didn't cry. He came close to it several times, but he didn't cry. Even though Cruger himself had said that it was okay to, that it was a natural thing to do, even. He told himself he didn't need to cry, that it was weak of him to when there was the stupid possibility that Dru was alive, and if he did turn up, Sky would have cried for nothing...
Such a whirlwind of emotions, of rushing back and forth between feeling so much and not wanting to feel at all, to being sure that Dru was still alive to being just as sure that he was dead, had left him mentally and somehow physically exhausted.
Unsurprisingly, Syd and Bridge were in the rec room when he was finally able to bring himself to leave Cruger's office. He tried to act nonchalant, and not like he'd just spent the past two hours avoiding a complete breakdown in his commanding officer's presence.
Just as unsurprisingly, they looked at him with pity and concern, looked up from their game of chess, mouths open to speak what Sky felt would be empty words of comfort.
Had either of them lost their best friend? He doubted it. At least Cruger knew the pain of loss- which at once made Sky feel relieved and incredibly ashamed. Cruger had lost his entire planet and found the strength to move on- shouldn't he, Sky, be able to quickly do the same?
At any rate, he was sure he didn't want to talk to them right now, and they seemed to detect his feelings, because neither of them followed when he went into his and Bridge's room, threw himself down on the bed, hugged his pillow.
His eyes then fell on the silver S.P.D. bracelet on his right wrist. The bracelet Dru had given him shortly before leaving the planet. Dru's words on that day echoed in his mind.
"Wear this, and no matter where we are in the galaxy, we'll be connected. I'll think of you, and you'll think of me. It's a sign of the links of an unbreakable friendship.
Sky couldn't suppress a sob.
But he wasn't going to cry.
* * *
Bridge waited for half an hour after Sky had gone into their room before he could no longer take it. He rose and began to walk toward their door.
"I'm just going to check on him," he told Syd, who jumped up and looked as though she wanted to stop him. "I don't want him to be alone right now, alright?"
"Okay," said Syd. "But we book it if he's not in the mood." The two entered the room to find Sky lying on his back, looking thoroughly miserable.
At least he's awake? Bridge thought.
"... Hey," he said gently.
"Kat told you guys what happened, I know," was Sky's reply. "I just..." He pushed himself up to look at them, and there was a long, heavy silence before Sky went on, "...want you guys. Here. Close. ... can you do that?"
"Sure," said Syd with a soft smile, and with that, she sat down on the edge of Sky's bed. He didn't object. Bridge considered doing the same, but contented himself with sitting cross-legged on his own bed.
Another silence, the weight of what had happened feeling almost tangible to Bridge.
"...I know I'm not good company," said Sky. Neither Syd nor Bridge spoke, waiting for him to go on. "I feel so mixed-up right now. ...I don't really know how to feel."
"I'd say that's pretty normal," said Syd quietly. "But, you know, it's alright to be sad, too. You've probably heard that a dozen times already, but it's the truth. You've lost your best friend. If I know you, you're probably beating yourself up for being sad, and I wish you wouldn't."
"... Yeah," Sky sighed, then sat up. Bridge watched his eyes fall on the bracelet on his right wrist, his face twisting into an expression of extreme sadness. Grief. Bridge knew the bracelet had been a gift from Dru, but he himself never knew the significance of it.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Syd asked him. "About him, I mean? Maybe it'll help if you remember all the good times you had with him." Another pause, more heavy silence. Sky looked up at them and suddenly burst out,
"It's not fair. IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!" Bridge twitched, and Syd's eyes began to well up with tears as Sky jumped up and began to pace the room, ranting onward, his voice rising the more he spoke. "He stopped talking to me, and I felt like I did something wrong, even though I KNEW I didn't and if he was mad at me, he would tell me and not just give me the cold shoulder. Then he had to crash and die. He died! I know he's dead, I'm not going to delude myself into thinking there was a possibility that he survived that! WHY? WHY DID HE DIE? WHY IN THE FUCK DO PEOPLE I LOVE JUST UP AND DIE LIKE THAT? I LOST MY FATHER, I LOST DRU, WHO'S GOING TO BE NEXT? CRUGER? KAT? ONE OF YOU GUYS? IT'S NOT- FUCKING- FAIR!"
He then slumped a little, seemingly having run out of energy, and sank back onto his bed, placing his head in his hands and sobbing quietly.
"Sky..." Bridge whispered. Syd threw her arms around him, and Bridge got up and did the same, holding him, whispering whatever words of comfort they could think, until his sobs began to quiet... until he unexpectedly hugged them back... before Bridge and Syd were easing Sky down onto his bunk, letting him cry himself to sleep.
* * *
Bridge's snores were the thing that awoke Sky, more than the rising sun filling their room with bright orange. He wondered briefly why Syd was dozing in Bridge's bed, and why Bridge himself was curled up in a sleeping bag on their floor... before the awful reality washed over him.
Now that he'd let all of his emotions out, he felt empty inside. There was a hole in his heart, a hole left by Dru, that could never be filled again... the second such hole, the first one being left by his father's death.
Both of them killed in the line of duty.
Just like he, Sky, could be.
Just like any of them could be, at any moment, perhaps even that day.
They knew the risk when they accepted the uniform, and yet... a tiny part of Sky was questioning whether or not it was worth it now. If he had the strength to keep walking this chosen path, if he could live up to his own expectations of being the Red Ranger, if he could live every day knowing that he, too, could be killed in the line of duty, and leave loved ones with holes in their hearts.
He then found his eyes traveling over Syd, holding a stuffed elephant in her sleep. Over Bridge... his friend. His best friend, aside from Dru.
They're strong enough to keep this up, too. And sure, I could get killed in the line of duty. Just as easily as I could get a fatal disease or get hit by a bus while I'm crossing the street. ...What am I thinking? I can't live the rest of my life afraid of death or loss. That's not living at all.
Bridge stirred, then suddenly sat up, blinking hard.
"... Morning, Bridge," Sky said quietly, so as not to wake Syd.
"Hey," said Bridge, rubbing his eyes.
Sky looked into Bridge's eyes, and Bridge looked into Sky's.
"Ah... dumb question, probably, but are you doing alright?" Bridge wanted to know.
"... I will be," said Sky.
And it, they both knew, was the truth.
(Crossposted to a_to_z_prompts)