da hillz #6
That's right, I'm right on schedule this time.
Unfortunately since last week's episode of what we thought was Heidi finally screwing her shiny little head on straight and seeing what her friends and thousands of people across America can see, Spencer is a butt-nugget, she goes and marries him. Thus binding her self legally with a tiny blonde cockroach. Make way the future of spousal abuse. Perhaps in the episodes to come leading up to this bad idea we will understand why she decided to marry him...
NAT!
Now on with the show...
-Heidi "standing up for herself" = "Heidi grovels for her job, again"
-Did Brody and his gang of boytoys go M.I.A.?
-Who trusts a guy named "Dino"? Who trusts a guy who is Justin Bobby's friend?
-What's her face is to Audrina as Whitney is to Lauren. Work booty-kisser.
-Audrina? Strong? Tattoos don't make you strong bb. Maybe if you left JB like two seasons ago. Then this wouldn't even be happening.
-Lauren needs Brody to come over and get all riled up in her defense, it's what he dooo.
-So basically everyone who comes in contact with Lauren get dubbed the name of "traitor" upon walking into H and S's humble abode. I bet it says that on the door "Thou are to remain 100 yards away from Lauren Conrad at all times or be known as "the traitor" in this household until you humbly repent before the blonde gods and denounce Lauren referring to her only as 'LC'"
-Traitor- Where's Heidi?
Spencer- I dunno we're playing hide and seek and I'm it just as soon as I toast these here breads. Gbye now.
Traitor- Whateverrr
-Why can't Lauren just say "No, I did not 'hook up' with JB"?
-Hey you know why no friends and family were present? Because no one wanted to witness the horrible display love coughsigningadealwiththedevilcough. All were invited, none attended. Except for maybe...oh, yeah no, no one came.
-Why is Coldplay allowing their music on this show? No Chris, don't do it.
-Audrina! JB is not answering you because he is a CIA agent and is doing top secret stuff ok!!! Very serious biznizz, gosshhh.
-Holly-Whatcha doin?
Heidi- Just ...you know...trolling on mahspaze.
-Got in a little trouble aka got fired and then groveled into being in a demoted position, in my cubiclez.
-We can't talk in here...because I'm not really officially re-hired yet so I don't want them to know I'm here...
-Swut? JB totally has a purity ring. Or he's married...2 Lauren rite?
-JB has Elvis hurrr.
-O noes, Audrina's done it nowz.
Ideally Audrina will realize that she is being dumb and cut JB off. But this is The Hills, without dramarama it is not what it is.