At dot Com (Public Santa, Sanji style)
Series: One Piece
Characters: Nami, Sanji, Zoro, mention of Luffy
Disclaimer: Oda owns One Piece.
Inspired by one of antha_aryn's pieces.
Title: At dot Com (Public Santa, Sanji style)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor
Summary: Nami starts a Secret Santa exchange and Sanji ends up having to give to his most-hated person: chaotic email messages ensue.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
Subject: Christmas Exchange
I've been thinking, since it's almost Christmas, we can have a Christmas exchange event; something similar to Secret Santa. I know it sounds silly but Luffy and the others wouldn't pass this opportunity up for anything. The receiver and giver will be drawn from a hat, of course.
What do you think?
To: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Re: Christmas Exchange
Nami-san,
Not at all! It sounds like a superb idea. I'll go and explain it to everyone, that way you can start the drawing whenever you want.
Yours truly, Sanji
To: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Re: Christmas Exchange
Nami-san,
I'd hate to fill up your inbox like this, but Luffy is shuffling around for his straw hat and using it as an excuse to eat anything he comes across. You wouldn't happen to be using that as your drawing bowl, are you? I'll keep him busy until you're finished, then.
Yours truly, Sanji
P.S. I was drawn for your name, right, Nami-san? ♥
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
Subject: Re: Christmas Exchange
Yeah, I'm done with it. It's on the deck, he should have found it by now. I messaged everyone with who they're going to be giving to, yours should come after this. Remember to have your gift ready before Christmas break, otherwise you won't be able to get it to your receiver on time.
I'm not changing your angel.
And no.
To: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Nami-san, why!?
Nami-san,
That marimo is certainly not an angel! What did I do to receive such a heinous punishment? I did something wrong, didn't I? There's no way I'm going to give to an ingrate like that!
Yours truly, Sanji
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
Subject: Re: Nami-san, why!?
No.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Shit Swordsman
What do you want?
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Shut up, Idiot Cook
What?
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Shut the hell up, Marimo
... What do you want for Christmas?
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Wait, what?
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Shut the fuck up, Shithead
The subject is for the subject, idiot. Don't spam me with empty messages.
Answer my question, lest you have a brain the size of a pea.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Whatever
Is this for that dumb exchange that Nami set up?
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Cat got your tongue?
It's not dumb, Shit Swordsman! How dare you insult Nami-san's plan! You need to learn to appreciate events like this.
Stop wasting my time and just answer the question.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Hell no
It's pointless.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Wonderful retort
Not in the slightest, Marimo.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: (no subject)
It is.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Backing out?
ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Hey
Why so silent all of a sudden? It's been half an hour.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: You fell asleep on the keyboard, didn't you?
Wake up, damn it.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: No
Anything that goes well with sake. White rice, too.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: What the hell?
Did I ask you what your favorite food was?
No.
But whatever.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Think it over, Cook
I answer and you get angry. I swear you're PMSing.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Kindly shut up
Attachment: Don't get lost, Shithead.pdf
Shut the fuck up and come here. I attached a map.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Why?
What for? I see no point in visiting you while you're PMSing.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Fuck you
Come here before I kick the shit out of you.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Nah
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: (no subject)
FUCKING MARIMO.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Fine, I'm coming, you woman
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: SPAM!?
Stop sending blank messages, Shithead! It's a waste of two precious seconds I could be using to cook something delicious for Nami-san and Robin-chan!
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: What the fuck?
It's been three days! Where the hell are you?
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: WHAT THE FUCK?
This is the last time I'm singularly cooking and waiting for you! You're dead when I find you!
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: PMS, PMS
The food was good though.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: !!!
I hate you.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: I hate you, too.
Characters: Nami, Sanji, Zoro, mention of Luffy
Disclaimer: Oda owns One Piece.
Inspired by one of antha_aryn's pieces.
Title: At dot Com (Public Santa, Sanji style)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor
Summary: Nami starts a Secret Santa exchange and Sanji ends up having to give to his most-hated person: chaotic email messages ensue.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
Subject: Christmas Exchange
I've been thinking, since it's almost Christmas, we can have a Christmas exchange event; something similar to Secret Santa. I know it sounds silly but Luffy and the others wouldn't pass this opportunity up for anything. The receiver and giver will be drawn from a hat, of course.
What do you think?
To: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Re: Christmas Exchange
Nami-san,
Not at all! It sounds like a superb idea. I'll go and explain it to everyone, that way you can start the drawing whenever you want.
Yours truly, Sanji
To: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Re: Christmas Exchange
Nami-san,
I'd hate to fill up your inbox like this, but Luffy is shuffling around for his straw hat and using it as an excuse to eat anything he comes across. You wouldn't happen to be using that as your drawing bowl, are you? I'll keep him busy until you're finished, then.
Yours truly, Sanji
P.S. I was drawn for your name, right, Nami-san? ♥
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
Subject: Re: Christmas Exchange
Yeah, I'm done with it. It's on the deck, he should have found it by now. I messaged everyone with who they're going to be giving to, yours should come after this. Remember to have your gift ready before Christmas break, otherwise you won't be able to get it to your receiver on time.
I'm not changing your angel.
And no.
To: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Nami-san, why!?
Nami-san,
That marimo is certainly not an angel! What did I do to receive such a heinous punishment? I did something wrong, didn't I? There's no way I'm going to give to an ingrate like that!
Yours truly, Sanji
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: ILoveOkaneAndMikan@tiempo.com
Subject: Re: Nami-san, why!?
No.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Shit Swordsman
What do you want?
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Shut up, Idiot Cook
What?
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Shut the hell up, Marimo
... What do you want for Christmas?
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Wait, what?
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Shut the fuck up, Shithead
The subject is for the subject, idiot. Don't spam me with empty messages.
Answer my question, lest you have a brain the size of a pea.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Whatever
Is this for that dumb exchange that Nami set up?
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Cat got your tongue?
It's not dumb, Shit Swordsman! How dare you insult Nami-san's plan! You need to learn to appreciate events like this.
Stop wasting my time and just answer the question.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Hell no
It's pointless.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Wonderful retort
Not in the slightest, Marimo.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: (no subject)
It is.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Backing out?
ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Hey
Why so silent all of a sudden? It's been half an hour.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: You fell asleep on the keyboard, didn't you?
Wake up, damn it.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: No
Anything that goes well with sake. White rice, too.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: What the hell?
Did I ask you what your favorite food was?
No.
But whatever.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Think it over, Cook
I answer and you get angry. I swear you're PMSing.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Kindly shut up
Attachment: Don't get lost, Shithead.pdf
Shut the fuck up and come here. I attached a map.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Why?
What for? I see no point in visiting you while you're PMSing.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: Fuck you
Come here before I kick the shit out of you.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Nah
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: (no subject)
FUCKING MARIMO.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: Fine, I'm coming, you woman
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: SPAM!?
Stop sending blank messages, Shithead! It's a waste of two precious seconds I could be using to cook something delicious for Nami-san and Robin-chan!
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: What the fuck?
It's been three days! Where the hell are you?
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: WHAT THE FUCK?
This is the last time I'm singularly cooking and waiting for you! You're dead when I find you!
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: PMS, PMS
The food was good though.
To: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
From: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
Subject: !!!
I hate you.
To: Mr.Prince@red-leg.com
From: SleepIsGoodForYou@santouryuu.com
Subject: I hate you, too.