Vday: ficlet: phc.wav (SGA)
Written for rageprufrock's 14 Valentines challenge. Please consider donating money and/or time to Vday.org or another women's charity, local or global. You know why.
Title: phc.wav
Author: siegeofangels
Fandom: SGA
Rated G, gen
Summary: Transcript of a sound file found appended to one of the early mission reports.
. . . got an idea. You do the [RUSTLING, MIC COVERED] Okay?
Yeah, okay.
Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
You're on a standard offworld mission [GATE WHOOSH]--meet some new people [INCOMPREHENSIBLE BABBLING], explore some ruins, trade some goods--and as luck would have it you're just in time for their harvest festival [DRUMS, CHANTING].
It's all flickering firelight and wooden cups of their homebrewed drink ["Cheers!"] and as you lean back against a tree trunk you think how wonderful it is to be here in the Pegasus galaxy ["Say, isn't this great?"] and you enjoy the camaraderie and the dancing [DRUMS, CHANTING] and the drink until--
Well, you're not really sure what happened next, because that drink was pretty strong, but you wake up naked [YELP], next to the chieftan's daughter ["Oh, my God."] and one of your teammates ["Oh, my GOD!"] and there seems to be a translation problem [INCOMPREHENSIBLE BABBLING] but you think that you might have married one or both of them [WEDDING MARCH] and you think that the tree you leaned up against last night was covered in poison ivy, and now you've got this rash [SCRATCHING] and the chieftan and your teammate are both demanding dowries ["I'm worth more than your Swiss Army Knife!"] . . .
Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie? Yes, nothing gets the taste of shame and alien moonshine out of your mouth like Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, it's been a quiet week in Atlantis, my hometown, out on the edge of the Pegasus galaxy . . . [RECORDING ENDS]
***
Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis and A Prairie Home Companion (including Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie) are the property of someone not me. No copyright infringement is intended.
Title: phc.wav
Author: siegeofangels
Fandom: SGA
Rated G, gen
Summary: Transcript of a sound file found appended to one of the early mission reports.
. . . got an idea. You do the [RUSTLING, MIC COVERED] Okay?
Yeah, okay.
Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]
You're on a standard offworld mission [GATE WHOOSH]--meet some new people [INCOMPREHENSIBLE BABBLING], explore some ruins, trade some goods--and as luck would have it you're just in time for their harvest festival [DRUMS, CHANTING].
It's all flickering firelight and wooden cups of their homebrewed drink ["Cheers!"] and as you lean back against a tree trunk you think how wonderful it is to be here in the Pegasus galaxy ["Say, isn't this great?"] and you enjoy the camaraderie and the dancing [DRUMS, CHANTING] and the drink until--
Well, you're not really sure what happened next, because that drink was pretty strong, but you wake up naked [YELP], next to the chieftan's daughter ["Oh, my God."] and one of your teammates ["Oh, my GOD!"] and there seems to be a translation problem [INCOMPREHENSIBLE BABBLING] but you think that you might have married one or both of them [WEDDING MARCH] and you think that the tree you leaned up against last night was covered in poison ivy, and now you've got this rash [SCRATCHING] and the chieftan and your teammate are both demanding dowries ["I'm worth more than your Swiss Army Knife!"] . . .
Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie? Yes, nothing gets the taste of shame and alien moonshine out of your mouth like Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, it's been a quiet week in Atlantis, my hometown, out on the edge of the Pegasus galaxy . . . [RECORDING ENDS]
***
Disclaimer: Stargate: Atlantis and A Prairie Home Companion (including Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie) are the property of someone not me. No copyright infringement is intended.