Free Fall: The Key to Everything

[sienata]

I loved the movie Free Fall. I watched it several times this past summer and the vids are awesome!! morrobay1990 turned me on to it and has written a wonderful story called Breathe Evenly, which follows up where the movie left off. (She's also posted several vids on her LJ if you want to watch some

Comments

[morrobay1990]

oh my god! what a gift to find this when I woke up! I was thinking the other night I wish there was another story out there that I could read.

So many great lines, I can't even begin.....I love what you did with just that small thought of the key - and the title! Genius!

Love the cadence here:
It mean more and freedom and anytime-you-want. It was temptation like an apple from The Tree, and like Adam in the garden before him, everything else faded away and Marc was powerless to say no.

Marc's face - perfect description!
when Marc had looked at him with his blank, nothing face

Love that it mattered most...making him smile
Taking it had put a smile back on his face and that mattered most in the moment.

This one hurt a little: "when" not "if". But he knows no one could take his place...he's right on the edge of love...
When this thing with Kay ended, there wouldn’t be anyone else to take his place.

Lots more....

Thank you so much for this! It's a perfect gem.

[sienata]

you are so welcome. thank you for your lovely story. i reread it from start to finish monday night and enjoyed it so much. this is the piece i started a while back and i'd run out of steam with it because i started going in a direction it didn't want to go. i realize now that when i get off track, my muse usually digs in its heels pretty quickly. no writing means back up till you get to a good spot and start over. so i pulled this back up, killed the last few graphs and wrote from Marc's pov instead and it felt right. i'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)

[sienata]

i was looking at the peeps who commented on your story and i'm not friends with many of them. if you want to post a link to this story on your LJ so that they can see this, it might be good, since i don't know too many folks on my FL who are into FF. your peeps might enjoy it, especially since it's born from your story. :)

[turtle_2806]

This is wonderful ! It's perfect to me the way it is written. And it fits so well with morrobay's story Breathe Evenly.
I am waiting for more from both of you. Thank you. Christina

[sienata]

thanks so much for reading. i'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[mariska234]

I'm so happy you wrote this. It's so wonderful, I just love it!
I couldn't stop reading.
The way you write about Marc's thoughts about his relationship with Kai and vice versa, it is so true and believable.
I agree with turtle, it fits so perfectly to Morrobay's BE. I'm reading about the same Marc and Kai.
You give meaning to the scenes of the film, their thoughts and feelings at that moment. Morrobay writes about "after" and flashbacks to their time together and the feelings when they look back.
FF is so non-verbal, and even if it is very well acted, we have to interpret ourselves how they think and feel, Both of you are so good in this. It's like pieces of the puzzle are solved.
I am very sure that the other BE readers will love your's too.
I hope for much more.
Thanks!

[morrobay1990]

I’m back for more. It’s really amazing how the perfect, well-chosen word or phrase can really make a sentence, and in turn, the story, come alive...

“The edge of his mind”...and the “sense memory”...really lovely:
...the future was nothing but a blur at the edge of his mind. If anything, he was still basking in the sense memory of Kay’s body...

...his body still hummed with the remnants of pleasure.

I LOVE this sentence!
It wasn’t, he wasn’t, Kay wasn’t.

...Kay stretched out on the bed beneath him, so willing, so giving...
He remembered the way Kay’s flesh had felt in his teeth, the give of it, Kay’s gasp, and his dick pulsed with the memory...

I'll definitely read again...for the 5th time :) and might be back w/lines I love.

I'm just so really happy to see this!

[tizi17]

a great and beautiful nod towards morrobay's story and of course FF.
really beautiful insight...