(no subject)
Things have been a rollercoaster today. Hell, it's a rollercoaster weekend.
I've been inside nearly all day, cranking out numbers and code and all the wonderful things that come along with being a Computer Science major. It's very stressful at times; alot of times I'm so frustrated that I don't know how to input something it just puts me in overload and I have to take a bit of a break from it. But I've been pushing hard; I've rewritten the same program possibly three times over the course of the last two days, but tonight I made some extreme progress.
It actually does math via reading the file. That might not mean anything to you, but it's the difference between failing and passing on this project.
My mom called to see how I was doing, and I told her I still owe the University a good bit of money. She wants me to go to Financial Aid and ask, but I'm stressing that the university is still looking for their tax forms as well (8 MONTHS AGO!!), even if I do go up there and straighten this out. She gives me some bullcrap about them not being able to do anything about it. I didn't want to hear it; a tax extension is supposed to be used to have more time for your taxes, not to dilly dally with it.
They don't care that if I don't get this solved in the next 9 days I can't register for the Spring.
They don't care that my lifepath is in the balance, and that pisses me off.
Thus after she gave me the same song and dance, I hung up on her. It relieved me to actually hang up on my parents instead of listening to their unreassuring banter. I don't need smoke blown up my ass. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But my oath to myself is simple: I don't care who you are, friend, parent, elder--if you get in the way of my dream, I will eliminate you. That is rule number one of anything that I undertake.
/bitching.
Anyway, I left for my German study group. Wasn't half bad, save for the fact we were done in an hour with all of the review. I might have to go over it tomorrow one more time. Luckily Samantha lives exactly two floors below me. She's cool peoples, from what I know of her. Military brats get along well, I guess. Courtney joined our study group too, even though she didn't say much. I thought she'd say more, but I guess not. Such is the way the wind blows.
I'm just having a time of deliberation here and now. Contemplating on changing majors from Computer Science to Graphic Design, considering familial asylum with my grandparents, debating where I need to hit life hard in the nads. I dunno where my mind is (ironically The Pixies were playing earlier), nor my heart. Hopefully an ever-enlightening trip to the gym will make me feel like a million bucks and I can forget about where I am just a little while. I was 16 like last week; time is like money--if you're not careful, it burns really quickly. Times are hard.
/post.
Krishna-kun
"I've been denied all the best ultrasex."--Mindless Self Indulgence
*edit* Goal drafts since post: Next summer, I will take more intense guitar lessons. I will get a better job. With that job I will revitalize my old art and music workshops. I will finish 9 hours of school via USF. I will train for speed--starting now. I will refine my Iai-do and Kenjutsu skills.