Le chat
Title: Le chat
Author: serena_blaire listening to ghosts whispering in her memory
Genre: broken pieces
Rating: harmless
…pro Tebe. A pro ni.
…
Two weeks and five days ago
Thanks to the lights, the night is not black and white. The snow is orange, sometimes yellow. The darkness is almost silver. (Don’t ask him how’s that possible.)
It’s snowing heavily. Not some annoying little snowflakes he dearly hates but these big, fluffy ones. Miyu seems to be a little annoyed with all that snow attack, she lowers her head every now and then and closes her eyes.
He stops. Around him, there seems to be nothing but kilometres and kilometres of white snow.
And it’s still snowing softly.
He stands there and it feels as if it was only him and the never-ending falling snow. He lifts his head and turns face to heaven: the snowflakes keep falling and they land on his face, on his cold cheeks, dark eyelashes and hot lips and some of them melt and some of them don’t and he doesn’t close his eyes. The snow keeps falling and falling as if in spirals and his head starts to spin a little. He likes that.
In this very moment, in this minute…he feels happy.
What he doesn’t expect is hearing Miyu barking and suddenly, he’s back and he looks around (maybe a little too hastily because now, his head really starts to spin and for a moment, he’s sure he’ll end up in snow but somehow he doesn’t) and there’s a young couple looking at him a little curios and he feels a little embarrassed that they have caught him in such awkward moment.
He whistles and Miyu comes back to him. And they head home.
*
“…and besides - “ , and Shinya’s voice is being cut off.
A sigh. “Dai-suke.”
Die’s eyes are pure innocence. “Yeah?”
“What are you doing?” Shinya demands.
“I am listening.”
“With your hand on my ass?”
“What’s wrong with my hand on your ass while I am listening?”
Exactly, Shinya wonders: what’s wrong with Die’s hand on his ass?
*
Seventeen days later
“Shinya!”
It takes him several seconds to react, so is the truth. Sometimes, Shinya wonders if the guitarist and the bassist are on drugs: why it is always him and Kyo who get knock-outed first? However, he keeps his voice as friendly as he can: “Yes, Die?”
“This hotel room costs 250 dollars per night!”
And again, it takes him a few seconds until he reacts: “Well. That’s nice?”
“SHINYA!”
“…yes, Die?”
“This.Room.Costs.250.Dollars.Per.Night.” Die repeats with a clear pause between every word.
And Shinya starts to feel slightly annoyed. (…maybe Die-honey could use his sleeping pills way better than him…)
“I heard you the first time.”
Now why the heck Die groans like as if he was forced to talk to the biggest geek of the century?
“What’s wrong with a hotel room which costs 250 dollars per night?”
“Everything. Unless you’re having all the fun.”
What?
“Shinya. This room costs 250 dollars per night. Don’t try to tell me you want nothing more than just sleep in here!”
“And what the sweetest heaven am I supposed to do?”
“I told you. Have fun.”
“Like what?”
“Like this.”
………………………………………………………………………………
A sigh. “Die. I am dead tired.”
“Well, it’s not that I am dead horny. But tell me: have you ever made love in hotel room which costs 250 dollars per night?”
Shinya must admit he never has.
“See?”
…and Shinya sees. Because really, what else can he do?
*
“Well. Did the fact that we just did it in a bed worthy of 250 dollars per night any special for you? Like…make you come harder? Or, more pleasurable?”
In the darkness, Shinya can’t see Die’s face clearly. But he knows Die is grinning because he can hear it in Die’s voice:
“I love you, too…”
That’s good.
*
“But it was a pleasure anyway…”
It better be so, Shinya warns him mentally.
*
5 months, three weeks and two days later
“Your hands are trembling.”
He doesn’t reply. Maybe because there’s nothing he could say. It wasn’t a question, anyway. It was a statement. His hands are indeed trembling.
Funny: he thought it’s not that obvious.
“Hey.”
Die sits down on the opposite chair and his torn jeans reveal a piece of skin. Shinya’s eyes watch Die’s knees closely because watching Die’s knees is safe. Shinya fears that if he’d look up and let Die look into his eyes, they would betray him and tell their own story: a story so much different from the one Shinya is ready to tell if someone would notice.
(…Die has noticed…)
(…he really spies on him a little too much, now doesn’t he…)
(…my head feels so numb…)
“I am fine.”
Once again, Die’s voice is flat and matter-of-factly: “Bullshit.”
“It’s just a headache. Will go.”
As he’s leaving, he can hear it again:
“Bullshit.”
*
If Die is surprised by Shinya’s sudden action, he does not show it: he keeps on his poker face.
Shinya’s body is warm (surprisingly) and firm and if Die hasn’t been suspecting Shinya’s holding onto him that tightly only because otherwise, he would collapse…
Shinya’s hair smells like grapefruit and tangerine.
His breath against Die’s collarbone feels hot and a little wet, even. He likes that.
At first, he’s not sure if he’s just imaging thing or if Shinya really said what Die thinks Shinya said.
But when Shinya’s body presses harder against his own and the grip around his waist became a little more desperate, Die has no doubts any more.
“Make love to me. Please make love to me…”
It sounds almost desperate.
*
Maybe that’s why he said No.
The first time only, true.
No one can resist Shinya twice.
*
“I don’t think it’s the best idea.”
Maybe he’s still imaging things but it feels as if Shinya’s hands lessened their grip a little. Yet when Shinya speaks, his voice is still calm and quiet. Like always.
“Why not?”
“You don’t seem fine to me. I don’t know what’s going on but I don’t want to take an advantage on you.”
As soon as his words hit the silence, Die feels really stupid. It sound pathetic and wrong and weird and whatnot and he really feels like an idiot.
Too bad he knows he meant them. He’d rather feel like an idiot for a while than doing something…what doesn’t feel right this moment.
*
“Then make me feel fine again.”
“You’ll feel better if I’ll sleep with you?”
“I’ll feel better if you’ll make love to me, that’s the difference.”
Shinya’s hair smells like grapefruit and tangerine and his breath smells mint from the mojito drink he had earlier (he had only one. Well, if that’s not an evidence of how bad Shinya feels…) and Die can’t pretend he doesn’t feel the heat radiating from Shinya’s abdomen.
Or that he doesn’t enjoy it.
“You sure?”
“I am sure.”
*
“What are you doing?”
“Counting your vertebras.”
He is. He is counting his vertebras with his lips.
*
Die squeaks and Shinya laughs and he tickles the soft skin in the back of Die’s right knee again.
“Shinya! It tickles!”
“But you know I love your knees.”
*
…taste me with your mouth…
Shinya’s lips are dry and warm against his skin.
But when Shinya’s tongue presses against the nipple, Die’s world becomes moist and hot.
*
…and slip into my skin…
Shinya’s hands slide up and down his back slowly. Their foreheads are touching.
Silence. There is too much of silence: Shinya’s doesn’t even seem to be breathing. Die looks into his eyes and they seem to be wet. But Shinya is not crying.
He asks, “What’s wrong” with his lips touching the soft cheek and completely unexpectedly, Shinya presses harder against him and he leaves Die a little out of breath because their bodies fall deeper into each other and Shinya’s lips move against his ear shell and Shinya whispers: “Love me.”
*
One year, three months and twelve days later
In his humble opinion, the world sucks a little lately. Actually, it sucks pretty much and it is raining and damn cold and he should have known better than desperately wanting to show off with his newest jacket because it’s a little too thin and he is already freezing.
Thank gods for Toshiya choosing such nice and cozy bar.
Thank gods for Toshiya wanting to hang out this evening.
His eyes fell upon big travel agency advertisement (all sunny and shiny and full of disgustingly happy people) and he snorts when noticing the heavy raindrops hitting the incredibly creepily smiling faces.
It looks almost grotesque: such happy go tragical smile.
It even rains in paradise, Die thinks evilly.
Yeah, bitches. Enjoy.
*
Disturbed by the sudden noise, Shinya heads to the window and he can’t help but laugh: two cats or going down on it, all open and free and unaffected by the lack of privacy.
Copulating and screaming loudly in the middle of the street.
The house feels so silent without Die.
*
(Daisuke, you’re a terrible liar, Shinya told him once and Die knows Shinya was right because he simply can’t lie even if he wanted to - and not even to his best friend when he asked out of a blue if his fiancé was indeed cheating on him -
…and I love you for that, Shinya said, too.)
Maybe that’s why he agreed when Toshiya called and asked him to go out for a beer or two…or five.
Maybe he indeed wanted to talk about it.
Maybe he doesn’t mind Toshiya’s extreme interest in his (their) love life that much.
“It’s not a “relationship crisis”. We’re just going through some though times. That’s it. It rains even in paradise.”
“It does?”
“Surely it does. What do you think, what are all trees and grass so fresh from? Fertilizers?”
Toshiya snorts and orders another round of vodka.
“We will work it out,” Die says.
“You sure?”
“I am sure.”
*
The water felt so nicely warm against his cold skin
(his head almost spins or maybe it’s just the steam that makes him feel a little dizzy)
and he used Shinya’s shower cream by an accident.
(In fact, he didn’t realize it was Shinya’s shower cream at first)
Of course Shinya woke up when he slipped under covers.
“How’s Toshiya?”
“Fine. Nasty and curios as always.”
Shinya chuckles.
“It’s fucking freezing.”
“I told you it was too cold for such thin jacket.”
“I know.”
*
Long time ago, Die believed such things do only exist in romantic movies. Yet he learned they do exist in real: he swears he has no idea how his lips end on Shinya’s and they kiss: timidly at first. Ten minutes later, they kiss passionately.
He has no idea whose hands removed whose clothes as first.
He has no idea whose hands touched the right spots as first.
He has no idea whose voice said those words as first.
“Make love to me…”
*
And Shinya does.
*
In the morning on their way to the studio, they meet their new neighbour. Die is busy eying her breasts (no bra, Shinya notices) and he doesn’t pay much attention, stumbles upon the stairs and almost trips.
Behind him, Shinya chuckles. It sounds quite evilly.
Die turns around and shoots him a dark glare, and Shinya sticks out his tongue. Now it’s Die’s turn to laugh out.
Shinya’s hands don’t tremble anymore. His head is light and the colors are liquid again.
Everything’s fine.
…
Author: serena_blaire listening to ghosts whispering in her memory
Genre: broken pieces
Rating: harmless
…pro Tebe. A pro ni.
…
Two weeks and five days ago
Thanks to the lights, the night is not black and white. The snow is orange, sometimes yellow. The darkness is almost silver. (Don’t ask him how’s that possible.)
It’s snowing heavily. Not some annoying little snowflakes he dearly hates but these big, fluffy ones. Miyu seems to be a little annoyed with all that snow attack, she lowers her head every now and then and closes her eyes.
He stops. Around him, there seems to be nothing but kilometres and kilometres of white snow.
And it’s still snowing softly.
He stands there and it feels as if it was only him and the never-ending falling snow. He lifts his head and turns face to heaven: the snowflakes keep falling and they land on his face, on his cold cheeks, dark eyelashes and hot lips and some of them melt and some of them don’t and he doesn’t close his eyes. The snow keeps falling and falling as if in spirals and his head starts to spin a little. He likes that.
In this very moment, in this minute…he feels happy.
What he doesn’t expect is hearing Miyu barking and suddenly, he’s back and he looks around (maybe a little too hastily because now, his head really starts to spin and for a moment, he’s sure he’ll end up in snow but somehow he doesn’t) and there’s a young couple looking at him a little curios and he feels a little embarrassed that they have caught him in such awkward moment.
He whistles and Miyu comes back to him. And they head home.
*
“…and besides - “ , and Shinya’s voice is being cut off.
A sigh. “Dai-suke.”
Die’s eyes are pure innocence. “Yeah?”
“What are you doing?” Shinya demands.
“I am listening.”
“With your hand on my ass?”
“What’s wrong with my hand on your ass while I am listening?”
Exactly, Shinya wonders: what’s wrong with Die’s hand on his ass?
*
Seventeen days later
“Shinya!”
It takes him several seconds to react, so is the truth. Sometimes, Shinya wonders if the guitarist and the bassist are on drugs: why it is always him and Kyo who get knock-outed first? However, he keeps his voice as friendly as he can: “Yes, Die?”
“This hotel room costs 250 dollars per night!”
And again, it takes him a few seconds until he reacts: “Well. That’s nice?”
“SHINYA!”
“…yes, Die?”
“This.Room.Costs.250.Dollars.Per.Night.” Die repeats with a clear pause between every word.
And Shinya starts to feel slightly annoyed. (…maybe Die-honey could use his sleeping pills way better than him…)
“I heard you the first time.”
Now why the heck Die groans like as if he was forced to talk to the biggest geek of the century?
“What’s wrong with a hotel room which costs 250 dollars per night?”
“Everything. Unless you’re having all the fun.”
What?
“Shinya. This room costs 250 dollars per night. Don’t try to tell me you want nothing more than just sleep in here!”
“And what the sweetest heaven am I supposed to do?”
“I told you. Have fun.”
“Like what?”
“Like this.”
………………………………………………………………………………
A sigh. “Die. I am dead tired.”
“Well, it’s not that I am dead horny. But tell me: have you ever made love in hotel room which costs 250 dollars per night?”
Shinya must admit he never has.
“See?”
…and Shinya sees. Because really, what else can he do?
*
“Well. Did the fact that we just did it in a bed worthy of 250 dollars per night any special for you? Like…make you come harder? Or, more pleasurable?”
In the darkness, Shinya can’t see Die’s face clearly. But he knows Die is grinning because he can hear it in Die’s voice:
“I love you, too…”
That’s good.
*
“But it was a pleasure anyway…”
It better be so, Shinya warns him mentally.
*
5 months, three weeks and two days later
“Your hands are trembling.”
He doesn’t reply. Maybe because there’s nothing he could say. It wasn’t a question, anyway. It was a statement. His hands are indeed trembling.
Funny: he thought it’s not that obvious.
“Hey.”
Die sits down on the opposite chair and his torn jeans reveal a piece of skin. Shinya’s eyes watch Die’s knees closely because watching Die’s knees is safe. Shinya fears that if he’d look up and let Die look into his eyes, they would betray him and tell their own story: a story so much different from the one Shinya is ready to tell if someone would notice.
(…Die has noticed…)
(…he really spies on him a little too much, now doesn’t he…)
(…my head feels so numb…)
“I am fine.”
Once again, Die’s voice is flat and matter-of-factly: “Bullshit.”
“It’s just a headache. Will go.”
As he’s leaving, he can hear it again:
“Bullshit.”
*
If Die is surprised by Shinya’s sudden action, he does not show it: he keeps on his poker face.
Shinya’s body is warm (surprisingly) and firm and if Die hasn’t been suspecting Shinya’s holding onto him that tightly only because otherwise, he would collapse…
Shinya’s hair smells like grapefruit and tangerine.
His breath against Die’s collarbone feels hot and a little wet, even. He likes that.
At first, he’s not sure if he’s just imaging thing or if Shinya really said what Die thinks Shinya said.
But when Shinya’s body presses harder against his own and the grip around his waist became a little more desperate, Die has no doubts any more.
“Make love to me. Please make love to me…”
It sounds almost desperate.
*
Maybe that’s why he said No.
The first time only, true.
No one can resist Shinya twice.
*
“I don’t think it’s the best idea.”
Maybe he’s still imaging things but it feels as if Shinya’s hands lessened their grip a little. Yet when Shinya speaks, his voice is still calm and quiet. Like always.
“Why not?”
“You don’t seem fine to me. I don’t know what’s going on but I don’t want to take an advantage on you.”
As soon as his words hit the silence, Die feels really stupid. It sound pathetic and wrong and weird and whatnot and he really feels like an idiot.
Too bad he knows he meant them. He’d rather feel like an idiot for a while than doing something…what doesn’t feel right this moment.
*
“Then make me feel fine again.”
“You’ll feel better if I’ll sleep with you?”
“I’ll feel better if you’ll make love to me, that’s the difference.”
Shinya’s hair smells like grapefruit and tangerine and his breath smells mint from the mojito drink he had earlier (he had only one. Well, if that’s not an evidence of how bad Shinya feels…) and Die can’t pretend he doesn’t feel the heat radiating from Shinya’s abdomen.
Or that he doesn’t enjoy it.
“You sure?”
“I am sure.”
*
“What are you doing?”
“Counting your vertebras.”
He is. He is counting his vertebras with his lips.
*
Die squeaks and Shinya laughs and he tickles the soft skin in the back of Die’s right knee again.
“Shinya! It tickles!”
“But you know I love your knees.”
*
…taste me with your mouth…
Shinya’s lips are dry and warm against his skin.
But when Shinya’s tongue presses against the nipple, Die’s world becomes moist and hot.
*
…and slip into my skin…
Shinya’s hands slide up and down his back slowly. Their foreheads are touching.
Silence. There is too much of silence: Shinya’s doesn’t even seem to be breathing. Die looks into his eyes and they seem to be wet. But Shinya is not crying.
He asks, “What’s wrong” with his lips touching the soft cheek and completely unexpectedly, Shinya presses harder against him and he leaves Die a little out of breath because their bodies fall deeper into each other and Shinya’s lips move against his ear shell and Shinya whispers: “Love me.”
*
One year, three months and twelve days later
In his humble opinion, the world sucks a little lately. Actually, it sucks pretty much and it is raining and damn cold and he should have known better than desperately wanting to show off with his newest jacket because it’s a little too thin and he is already freezing.
Thank gods for Toshiya choosing such nice and cozy bar.
Thank gods for Toshiya wanting to hang out this evening.
His eyes fell upon big travel agency advertisement (all sunny and shiny and full of disgustingly happy people) and he snorts when noticing the heavy raindrops hitting the incredibly creepily smiling faces.
It looks almost grotesque: such happy go tragical smile.
It even rains in paradise, Die thinks evilly.
Yeah, bitches. Enjoy.
*
Disturbed by the sudden noise, Shinya heads to the window and he can’t help but laugh: two cats or going down on it, all open and free and unaffected by the lack of privacy.
Copulating and screaming loudly in the middle of the street.
The house feels so silent without Die.
*
(Daisuke, you’re a terrible liar, Shinya told him once and Die knows Shinya was right because he simply can’t lie even if he wanted to - and not even to his best friend when he asked out of a blue if his fiancé was indeed cheating on him -
…and I love you for that, Shinya said, too.)
Maybe that’s why he agreed when Toshiya called and asked him to go out for a beer or two…or five.
Maybe he indeed wanted to talk about it.
Maybe he doesn’t mind Toshiya’s extreme interest in his (their) love life that much.
“It’s not a “relationship crisis”. We’re just going through some though times. That’s it. It rains even in paradise.”
“It does?”
“Surely it does. What do you think, what are all trees and grass so fresh from? Fertilizers?”
Toshiya snorts and orders another round of vodka.
“We will work it out,” Die says.
“You sure?”
“I am sure.”
*
The water felt so nicely warm against his cold skin
(his head almost spins or maybe it’s just the steam that makes him feel a little dizzy)
and he used Shinya’s shower cream by an accident.
(In fact, he didn’t realize it was Shinya’s shower cream at first)
Of course Shinya woke up when he slipped under covers.
“How’s Toshiya?”
“Fine. Nasty and curios as always.”
Shinya chuckles.
“It’s fucking freezing.”
“I told you it was too cold for such thin jacket.”
“I know.”
*
Long time ago, Die believed such things do only exist in romantic movies. Yet he learned they do exist in real: he swears he has no idea how his lips end on Shinya’s and they kiss: timidly at first. Ten minutes later, they kiss passionately.
He has no idea whose hands removed whose clothes as first.
He has no idea whose hands touched the right spots as first.
He has no idea whose voice said those words as first.
“Make love to me…”
*
And Shinya does.
*
In the morning on their way to the studio, they meet their new neighbour. Die is busy eying her breasts (no bra, Shinya notices) and he doesn’t pay much attention, stumbles upon the stairs and almost trips.
Behind him, Shinya chuckles. It sounds quite evilly.
Die turns around and shoots him a dark glare, and Shinya sticks out his tongue. Now it’s Die’s turn to laugh out.
Shinya’s hands don’t tremble anymore. His head is light and the colors are liquid again.
Everything’s fine.
…