(no subject)
~ I ~
After seconds of eternity, I turned, and she was there. Her dress swept the stairs behind her as she descended, lifting ever so slighly to reveal a hidden pair of pink heels. Her black hair, defying the very laws of gravity, was a most intricate design, flawless in its own perfection. Her eyes glittered with excitement that seemed nearly audible, just as I'm sure my own were in response to her horrific beauty. I knew, at that moment, she could be my future if she wished for it, but I also doubted myself far too much to make any commitment to the thought, and so it was passively dismissed as yet another fantasy. This woman, gorgeous inside and out, was far beyond my league....and yet, here I was, the only man willing to take her to an event she had such high hopes for. Not the deepest man around, I was still somehow touched by her presence, in a sense I cannot even begin to descibe. She had already built a fortress inside me, surrounding the heart of my emotions, forbidding the presence of others for an extended time, all within a period of weeks.
~ II ~
Her head resting on my shoulder, her arms around my neck, her feminine scent invading my nostrils, the warm feel of her breath on my flesh....this can't be real. And yet, it is. As real as my own arms wrapped around her back and shoulders, and the feel of her soft dress on my fingertips. As real as the hair against my cheek.
She raises her head, and as I mimic the repositioning our eyes meet, mouths returning each other's smiles. Kiss her. Kiss her. I rest my head back into the crevice between her outstretched arm and neck, too afraid of rejection. Terrified of ruining the wondrous feel of the moment. What if she pulls back in refusal? The dance would turn awkward. Impossible to enjoy any further.
I want this moment to last forever.
The song ends, and our faces lift, my own masking a sadness deep inside. I don't want to let go, but she makes no effort to pull away either. Smiles are once again exchanged, even as some random, fast-paced song begins.
What does this mean?
Kiss her. You know you want to.
I don't know if she wants to.
She does.
She might not.
Kiss her.
Elegantly, she lowers her head again, and I follow suit. Our slow-dance continues throughout the course of the unsuitable song, but I don't care. I don't think she does either.
I close my eyes.
~ III ~
A kiss? In exchange for her purse? Quite possibly the lowest excuse in exchange for a personal need.
Need?
But it worked. Our first kiss.
Your most important kiss.
She only did it to get her shit back.
She did it because she wanted to.
She did it because I told her to.
She did it. That's all that matters.
She did it. But she didn't want to. She doesn't want me, she wants her purse.
You blind, blind fool. You have the most beautiful girl on the planet voluntarily giving you a kiss, and you're denying its meaning?
~ IV ~
Being in a car with her is easily one of the most enjoyable moments in life I can ever possibly experience. And, with this month being the luckiest of my life, this is the third time I've had the pleasure. I love the smoothness of her skin as I caress her arms. She doesn't even seem to mind it, really. Maybe....maybe she even enjoys it?
Is that so hard to believe?
~ V ~
I...I think she's asleep...on me...? This can't be. She looks comfortable. Nobody ever gets comfortable around me. Maybe she really does like me.
Of course she likes you. She asked you to prom, didn't she?
I want this moment to last forever too. But, unfortunately, it can't. I have to take her home. I have to.
Kiss her. Kiss her goodnight. You have to.
I know.