(Untitled)

[silent_jupiter]

"i was going to ask if you know now that it's not your fault."

look, i don't wanna know. i don't wanna hear it anymore. i don't wanna be asked, over and over, if i know it's not my fault or if i still believe it's my fault. i don't want to have it pointed out to me that i still feel guilty.

what difference does it make? if i believe it's my fault

Comments

[dharma_girl]

was this person telling you it wasn't your fault, by asking if you know it wasn't?

[silent_jupiter]

it's a paraphrase of what lots of people say. sometimes it's a question like, "do you think it's your fault?" which is followed by, "because it's not" or some variation thereof.

a specific person sparked the entry, but, it could have been any number of people.

and yes, this person was telling me it wasn't my fault by asking if i knew it wasn't my fault.

i wonder sometimes if people think, or think they're going to say something no one has ever said before.

[dharma_girl]

i think it's a matter of people not knowing what they don't know. most people have not been in a situation like yours, so they probably have no idea how some of the things they say or do in reaction come across to you. does that make sense? had they experienced something similar, they would know better what NOT to say or how to communicate with you about this.

i remember R pointing things out to me that i said or did wrong when you and i were first friends. her experience wasn't the same, but similar enough to help me understand the impact of my words and actions. although, now that i think about it, a lot of what i learned about how to deal with the situation, i learned from just picking up on your reactions. that was a good lesson for me.