|twenty eight|

[silent_silver]

This place is doing us no good. Kadaj grows softer every day, and I don't think he cares about Mother anymore at all. It doesn't matter. I'll find her, then, and she'll be proud of me for getting to her first. Kadaj is too busy worrying about that girl, Rinoa, and that idiot, Shinji to care about where Mother is or if she's waiting

Comments

[nomakothx]

You sound lonely.

It seems like Nightmare took up my last bit of free time.

[silent_silver]

I'm frustrated.

You should try to find more.

[nomakothx]

Poor you, abandoned like a sub-par chocobo.

... Don't really feel like it.

[silent_silver]

And to think I had no intentions of hurting you, either. Then again, it's not unexpected.

[adventlead]

Yeah, you know what Yazoo? You're wrong. I'll always care for Mother. Ever since you pulled that stupid stunt, I haven't felt comfortable around you. It's my fault, it's always my fault. Well guess what? If you really feel that way, I won't bother you. I'll leave you alone, because that always seems to be exactly what you want from me.

But I'll tell you this. You're my brother. I've always cared about you. And if I'm that bad a brother, then...that doesn't change much, because I'm also a bad son, and a bad excuse for a person and a BAD BOYFRIEND and is there anything you want me to add to the list before I... Curl away and start fucking crying.

Now get over it.

[silent_silver]

No. Kadaj... That's not what I meant. Not how I meant it.

I don't think you're a bad person or a bad..brother. If anything, that position belongs to me. And maybe I am wrong. Maybe you do still want to find Mother. I worry, though. I worry that because you have friends, because you care about other people, you'll forget about her and myself..

I admit that maybe I'm wrong. I admit that I've made poor decisions in my time here, and if you want to hold it against me, I have no place to stop you. Like I've said before. You don't need me, not in the end. You have them now.

I never wanted to give you any reason not to trust me, to feel uncomfortable, but I may have misjudged this one. I'll disappear, and you won't have to worry about me interfering. I can't watch you cry.

Take care, Kadaj.

[ooc: fdjhgj so I got this reply like ten seconds before I had to leave, and I've felt so incredibly guilty ALL. DAY. LONG. fdjhgjg ]

[adventlead]

Don't...

Don't leave. I'll be sad if you leave. I need you. I promise to try and do as you say if you stay!

Don't leave! Those aren't any reasons to leave, not for you anyway. I didn't mean that I don't trust you, I do trust you, I just feel responsible for what happened. Had I tried harder to follow you, or gotten there in time...

I've made a lot worse decisions, including this one. So I don't blame you. Just...

Just stay. You're my family. You're the reason I believe I'll see Mother again.

[ooc: oh man I know what you mean when that happens. ;; Awww. D:]

[silent_silver]

You shouldn't feel responsible; the fact that you do bothers me. It was my decision, my naivety, and I shouldn't have gotten you involved. It's not your fault, and you don't deserve any blame you may have gotten for it.

I think it would be in your best interest and mine as well if I left for a while. I'm jealous, and that's not fair to you.

[corel_memory]

This is new.

[silent_silver]

I don't like this.

[tough_hart]

I think Kadaj just found someone he likes. And is Mother still so important to you?

Cloud's gone.

[silent_silver]

I know. If he's happy, I should be satisfied. But I don't think I am.

Mother will always be important to me. ..But I've left her to Kadaj. He's the one she wants.

I'm surprised. I thought he was going to stay for a while this time.

[prodigal_axe]

It's my fault. I won't take it back, but I'll agree.

[silent_silver]

If anything, I'm glad you're friends with him. He should have someone to talk to other than me.

[prodigal_axe]

You're his brother. That matters, and he talks about you.

I'm not sure why he cares about me. But, I gave up being surprised about it.

[silent_silver]

Don't question why. He has his own reasons for everything.