i spoke to soon.there seems to be a pattern here.

i think im addicted to sleeping pills.is that a bad thing.oh well.
im happy.yay for me being happy.

you know when something happens and it should make you happy.but it doesnt.thats how i feel right now.i wanted something pretty badly.but now i just dont care.i think its just that i dont want to be happy.i want to have a sad life so i can complain and people can feel sorry for me.

remember when you were young and popsicles were fun because they turned your mouth different colors.if only it were that simple.its sad when you are bored more than you are having fun or at least not to the point were you want to pull your hair out in frustration.life is mostly dull moments with a few occasional somewhat entertaining events.how ( Read more... )

im hurt but that doesnt matter.im not fucking retarded.i do understand things.everytime im happy something happens to make me feel worse than before.i give up.

hahaha.yesterday was odd.the mall kind of sucked.and most of the night was just awkward.it was fine untill nick and them got there and some people started to act very odd.i was very close to hating nick with a passion again.i get pissed of very easily sometimes.well yeah.sitting in my backyard was fun and really dull at the same time.nick and joe ( Read more... )

school events.whats wrong with me.oh well last night was fun.even though we lost.not a big dissapointment.had fun with "the girls".love those dolls.tried to ditch nick.not really were not that mean.it was a good night.better than i thought it would be.

braces suck.the left side of my face is red and in pain.im dumb and only have dumb things to say.i need to go out more.that would help.but my ucles leaving next week which means im losing the person who convinces parents to let me go out.he's moving to colorado.im going to cry.i cant believe he's going to be gone.the one family member i like and he ( Read more... )

yesterday was odd.i met joe.he was nice but now he is a fag.he was being really mean to julie.he put his arm around me.i didnt like that.he is a little boy.but it was really cold.so i could tolerate it.julie was being very touchy.like always.my chest area.we got candy.fun.we were the 3 blind mice and the creepy old guys thought julies costume was

been a while since i've been able to update.not much has happened before last weekend.on friday i spent the night at heathers house, that was fun.we went to the apples show at the alpine community center.that was a very much needed night out of my house.i was suppossed to be in trouble for that night but my mom kind of forgot with all thats ( Read more... )