(no subject)
ive always just trusted 1 or 2 ppl and always been protective of myself and my feelings and not showing my emotions bc i HATE pitty.. then shit happened, my life changed drastically, slowly it felt like i was losing everything and everyone i loved and i was filling up with hatred against the world..i became weak, and trusted in more ppl. and got screwed over.. i learned the hard way about who to trust and who not to,...i learned to be strong again and lately ive been more kept to myself, i try not to show when im upset, and not to talk about my problems, bc i dont want pitty, i try to hide my emotions..it seems as if i take what im feeling inside out in different ways by being too paranoid or getting mad or upset too quickly at the stupidest things and the wrong ppl. i love my friends, but sometimes i push them away, bc im too scared to get hurt, ive labeled everyone as backstabbers and such, bc of ppl from my past. i need to let go. i know that im just a step away from being happier, if i just let those who do care about me into my life and let them try to help me. but its hard