"Longings" for EVERYONE
Title: Longings
Form: Fanfiction
For: Everyone
Rating: PG-13
Characters: James, Mary
Prompt: SH2: James/Mary: during game: Just a dream.
Disclaimer: Silent Hill and all its characters belong to Konami. I make no money off this work.
Longings
James reached the top of what seemed like a never ending set of winding stairs. He had traveled a long journey to reach this point. Blood had been shed, horrors unlike any others experienced in this cold abyss of a town. This was no ordinary town, as he had quickly learned when arriving in the small resort settlement - instead it was a prison where your deepest, darkest fears manifested themselves and became flesh. James would have gone insane already from the frightful abominations he’d encountered, had he not been a little insane already. But now it would finally be worth it.
He was coming home.
That wasn’t meant in a literal sense of the word, of course. This terrifying labyrinth called Silent Hill was not his real home. But home was where your loved ones were, and that place James dwelt in during his daily existence had not been a home for a very lone time. He was wearied and bloodied from battle, engaging in trials and tribulations he would have never thought he was face. But it would soon be over. The end was in his grasp.
Mary was here, waiting beyond the stairwell; he could feel it. There was a tension in the atmosphere; a sense of something of great importance that was about to happen. How James longed to see her; every cell in his body ached for it. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her; to stroke her hair and feel her warm body in his arms. He had no idea what he would say to her, or how he could even begin to explain his actions. All he knew was that he had to see her, if only in a less corporeal form. He had to have some kind of purpose for his suffering, some kind of denouement that would either forgive him or damn him for what he had carried out. He needed that end to his journey, and like a man dying of thirst in the desert who suddenly found a well of water, he clung onto that hope with all the will and determination could muster, allowing it to drive him forward when he otherwise would have collapsed days ago.
The roof was dark around him, with a subdued light illuminating the central area. James had no idea where the light was coming from. There was a bed in the middle of the room, settled next to a dresser he’d know anywhere. It was where Mary kept her medicine, and there were several bottles already on top, some lying on the dresses in opened states, others standing perfectly untouched. The bed and the dresser were positioned over a metal grating floor that allowed a glimpse into the abyss below, if only there were more lighting available.
Not that he particularly wanted to see what was lurking below.
It was an unusual arrangement, even with all the strange areas he had seen thus far. Once again, he couldn’t help but wonder where all this rust and metal actually came from.
And there, standing at the frame of a window overlooking the outside void, was Mary.
James’ mouth dropped open in shock for a moment. He had hoped, he had prayed, that there was something positive for him waiting at the end of this journey, but actually seeing her was something he hadn’t prepared for in the slightest. The sight sparked a well of emotions inside him, and he swallowed the lump in his throat, going instead with hopeful optimism.
James took a step forward. He stopped, realizing he had no idea how to approach this situation. There was an almost visible wall of tension in the air now that the moment had arrived. He felt a feeling of apprehension as he took in the pink cardigan sweater, the flowery skirt and simple shoes that were such a fitting style for her - kind, warm and welcome. Finally, he dared to speak one word that had lingered so long on his mind during this journey.
“Mary?”
The woman turned around, and he watched as she assumed a surprised expression.
“James?”
The sound of her voice was a dulcet burst of music after the harsh silence and unearthly growls he had endured on this journey. He had almost forgotten how sweet her voice was - a melodious, gentle tone that could disarm anyone with its caring sound.
For a moment James stared at her, not knowing how to proceed. What could he say after what he had done to her? It had been a long time since he had seen her alive and healthy. He was at a loss for words on what to say; what to do that could bridge the almost impassable gulf between them.
“Mary…” he repeated, overwhelmed with emotions too numerous to count. To his surprise, that sparked a reaction in her. “James!” her sweet voice sounded again, and it inspired a second round of determination inside him.
James made a decision. He rushed towards her as she began to walk him in turn. It soon became a full sprint, as did hers, and they were desperate to see each other up close. They met in the middle, clinging to each other despite what should have been a very frosty reception on her part.
“Mary, I’m so sorry,” James began, holding her closely while she sobbed into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry for everything that happened. It was my fault. I should have never let that disease drive us apart. I…I was selfish.”
Mary looked up with watery eyes. “James…it’s okay. I don’t resent you for anything that happened.”
James looked at her incredulously. “What? But I hurt you! I kept you at a distance because I didn’t want you to be a burden. I didn’t take you to Silent Hill again like you asked. I…I abandoned you,” he admitted shamefully.
His lovely wife shook her head. “It was my fault too. I was rotten to you, James,” Mary said. “I don’t blame you for abandoning me in that hospital. I wouldn’t have wanted to be around me either.”
“Oh, Mary…” James felt his heart breaking. She felt remorse too. All the times she had yelled at him, all the times she had hit him or thrown something at him…
She remembered that too. And the worst part was, he couldn’t tell her she wasn’t responsible. Because there was still a tiny part of him that believed she shouldn’t have acted like that, even if she was sick.
But none of that mattered now. The only thing that mattered was that they were together again, if only for a limited amount of time.
“Both of us were to blame,” he said, cradling her fragile form against his chest. “We both threw away the most wonderful relationship we ever had, instead of enjoying those last few months together. But that’s over now,” James declared resolutely.
Mary looked up at him timidly. “You look like hell,” she said, a half-smile playing at her lips.
“It was all for you,” James said seriously. “I would have gone to the depths of Hell to be with you.”
“Well, you don’t have to go that far,” Mary said wryly. “I’m here,” she said, gazing at him with a loving expression.
James stared into her beautiful eyes. “I love you, Mary,” he said to her. That she could accept him despite how hideous and loathsome he was, despite the emotional abandoning he had done, was a miracle he had never expected to happen to this extent. He had hoped, yes, but the days of darkness and ignoring hospital calls were always at the back of his mind. Maybe it was because she understood a bit how a person could become like that.
“I love you, James,” Mary said, and they kissed in a union of love and friendship missing from their lives for what seemed like an eternity.
They held each other closely, neither one daring to let go. Whether James died here or whether continued his life without Mary, neither option mattered much at the moment. There was a far greater concern taking precedence at the moment. After many hours of suffering, and even longer years of loneliness and loss, everything was right once more. Finally, he was home. They were together again. And all was as it should be.
~*~
James woke up to a darkened world. The air was light around him, indicating there was no one close to him nearby. The lack of a warm body close to him was a shock, and one that startled him to a fully awake state. He looked around wildly and realized he was in a hospital corridor lying on his back. “Mary?” he thought frantically, even as he realized there would be no response coming. He pushed himself up to a sitting position, feeling the dirt scattered under his hands.
In a rush of vivid memories, he suddenly recalled the events of the last hour or so, before he obviously lost awareness of himself. He sat there dumbly for a moment, feeling a strange blend of hyperawareness and disbelief, as he recalled the state of events that led to his current undignified position.
It was all coming back to him now. He had taken a beating fighting a pack of savage nurses wielding metal pipes and a furious bloodlust. Exhausted from the fight, he made it into the second floor hallway before things were suddenly spinning in his vision. He must have passed out in the hallway from exhaustion. A chill went through him as he realized how long he must have been passed out on the flood. He was lucky there were no monsters nearby, or else he would have been dead in his sleep without realizing it.
James held his forehead, shaking his head to clear the remaining cobwebs away from his mind. “Only a dream…” he muttered, and he felt an immeasurable sadness as he realized the simple truth.
He stayed there sitting for a moment, still overwhelmed by the vivid picture his subconscious had painted him. The line between the two realities was almost fragile, and he had to fight the urge to believe that this was actually the dream; that he would be back with Mary if he closed his eyes and just willed himself into awakening.
It was a fantastic hope, he thought of how he and Mary could be reunited. It was so real. He could almost feel the warm sensation of her body laced with her perfume; the silky tresses of her hair as he held her against his shoulder. But the darkness of the corridor around him brought him back to undesirable reality. There was no Mary. There was no tearful reunion, no sense of love and warmth. There was only him and a cold, dark hospital floor, ominously silent as it waited for him to venture into its depths once more. There wasn’t even one of the strange creatures that lurked in this grotesque parody of a once functioning hospital. There was only silence, and a permanent, all encompassing darkness.
James got up from the dusty floor, brushing the grime off his clothes. It was incredible how vivid that dream had been in his imagination. He could have sworn it was almost reality. Was it the town that gave him that peculiar vision, or was his subconscious just projecting what he wanted to happen onto his state of unconsciousness? He didn’t know, and he suspected he wouldn’t find out the answer to that even if he contemplated it for several years. One thing was bothering him about the vision though, and that was his attitude in it when confronted by Mary. What did he have to feel guilty about? It was true he and Mary had had some difficulties in that last year, but things weren’t nearly as bad as his attitude described in that dream. Actually, they were more tragic and lonely than anything, with both of them withdrawn and wearied from the years of fighting an interminable illness. Hmm. Something to think about. Was the town trying to mess with his mind by showing him this warped version of the events that occurred in his life? It certainly seemed capable of that action. It was almost alive in a creepy sort of way, given the way it behaved towards human beings, and he couldn’t help but get a stronger feeling of dread the longer he stayed here in this place. Not that it was going to deter him. Faced with the foreboding situation at hand, James made a decision.
He had to keep going forward into the void. There was no way he could leave this town until he did what he set out to do. No matter what happened to him, what horrors he encountered on his journey, he had to keep pressing forward. He had to find Mary, no matter what it took to do so. It was the only thing he had left to define his lonely existence with; the only thing that could make things right, regardless of the cost.
Gathering his weapons and checking his pockets for the items he’d gathered, James took a moment to steady his nerves for what awaited him. It took some bravery, knowing he was going to go back out there into a world of monsters and demons lurking in the dark, but fortunately there was no one braver than a desperate man with nothing left to lose. And James was a desperate man, there was no denying that. He had no choice in the matter; there was only one way he was getting out of the town, and that was through the road that led to Mary. Whether it bypassed horrors greater than the ones he’d already seen, or thrust him into facing them head on, this was the only path that was visible to his wounded mind. Gathering his courage, James set off into the darkened corridor, determined to find what he was seeking in this town of ghosts, or to not return alive from it at all.
Mary awaited their reunion.
~*~
AN: Obviously James is still mired in his delusions here. Poor man, unable to discern why he should feel guilty over what happened with Mary. *author shakes his head*
Form: Fanfiction
For: Everyone
Rating: PG-13
Characters: James, Mary
Prompt: SH2: James/Mary: during game: Just a dream.
Disclaimer: Silent Hill and all its characters belong to Konami. I make no money off this work.
Longings
James reached the top of what seemed like a never ending set of winding stairs. He had traveled a long journey to reach this point. Blood had been shed, horrors unlike any others experienced in this cold abyss of a town. This was no ordinary town, as he had quickly learned when arriving in the small resort settlement - instead it was a prison where your deepest, darkest fears manifested themselves and became flesh. James would have gone insane already from the frightful abominations he’d encountered, had he not been a little insane already. But now it would finally be worth it.
He was coming home.
That wasn’t meant in a literal sense of the word, of course. This terrifying labyrinth called Silent Hill was not his real home. But home was where your loved ones were, and that place James dwelt in during his daily existence had not been a home for a very lone time. He was wearied and bloodied from battle, engaging in trials and tribulations he would have never thought he was face. But it would soon be over. The end was in his grasp.
Mary was here, waiting beyond the stairwell; he could feel it. There was a tension in the atmosphere; a sense of something of great importance that was about to happen. How James longed to see her; every cell in his body ached for it. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her; to stroke her hair and feel her warm body in his arms. He had no idea what he would say to her, or how he could even begin to explain his actions. All he knew was that he had to see her, if only in a less corporeal form. He had to have some kind of purpose for his suffering, some kind of denouement that would either forgive him or damn him for what he had carried out. He needed that end to his journey, and like a man dying of thirst in the desert who suddenly found a well of water, he clung onto that hope with all the will and determination could muster, allowing it to drive him forward when he otherwise would have collapsed days ago.
The roof was dark around him, with a subdued light illuminating the central area. James had no idea where the light was coming from. There was a bed in the middle of the room, settled next to a dresser he’d know anywhere. It was where Mary kept her medicine, and there were several bottles already on top, some lying on the dresses in opened states, others standing perfectly untouched. The bed and the dresser were positioned over a metal grating floor that allowed a glimpse into the abyss below, if only there were more lighting available.
Not that he particularly wanted to see what was lurking below.
It was an unusual arrangement, even with all the strange areas he had seen thus far. Once again, he couldn’t help but wonder where all this rust and metal actually came from.
And there, standing at the frame of a window overlooking the outside void, was Mary.
James’ mouth dropped open in shock for a moment. He had hoped, he had prayed, that there was something positive for him waiting at the end of this journey, but actually seeing her was something he hadn’t prepared for in the slightest. The sight sparked a well of emotions inside him, and he swallowed the lump in his throat, going instead with hopeful optimism.
James took a step forward. He stopped, realizing he had no idea how to approach this situation. There was an almost visible wall of tension in the air now that the moment had arrived. He felt a feeling of apprehension as he took in the pink cardigan sweater, the flowery skirt and simple shoes that were such a fitting style for her - kind, warm and welcome. Finally, he dared to speak one word that had lingered so long on his mind during this journey.
“Mary?”
The woman turned around, and he watched as she assumed a surprised expression.
“James?”
The sound of her voice was a dulcet burst of music after the harsh silence and unearthly growls he had endured on this journey. He had almost forgotten how sweet her voice was - a melodious, gentle tone that could disarm anyone with its caring sound.
For a moment James stared at her, not knowing how to proceed. What could he say after what he had done to her? It had been a long time since he had seen her alive and healthy. He was at a loss for words on what to say; what to do that could bridge the almost impassable gulf between them.
“Mary…” he repeated, overwhelmed with emotions too numerous to count. To his surprise, that sparked a reaction in her. “James!” her sweet voice sounded again, and it inspired a second round of determination inside him.
James made a decision. He rushed towards her as she began to walk him in turn. It soon became a full sprint, as did hers, and they were desperate to see each other up close. They met in the middle, clinging to each other despite what should have been a very frosty reception on her part.
“Mary, I’m so sorry,” James began, holding her closely while she sobbed into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry for everything that happened. It was my fault. I should have never let that disease drive us apart. I…I was selfish.”
Mary looked up with watery eyes. “James…it’s okay. I don’t resent you for anything that happened.”
James looked at her incredulously. “What? But I hurt you! I kept you at a distance because I didn’t want you to be a burden. I didn’t take you to Silent Hill again like you asked. I…I abandoned you,” he admitted shamefully.
His lovely wife shook her head. “It was my fault too. I was rotten to you, James,” Mary said. “I don’t blame you for abandoning me in that hospital. I wouldn’t have wanted to be around me either.”
“Oh, Mary…” James felt his heart breaking. She felt remorse too. All the times she had yelled at him, all the times she had hit him or thrown something at him…
She remembered that too. And the worst part was, he couldn’t tell her she wasn’t responsible. Because there was still a tiny part of him that believed she shouldn’t have acted like that, even if she was sick.
But none of that mattered now. The only thing that mattered was that they were together again, if only for a limited amount of time.
“Both of us were to blame,” he said, cradling her fragile form against his chest. “We both threw away the most wonderful relationship we ever had, instead of enjoying those last few months together. But that’s over now,” James declared resolutely.
Mary looked up at him timidly. “You look like hell,” she said, a half-smile playing at her lips.
“It was all for you,” James said seriously. “I would have gone to the depths of Hell to be with you.”
“Well, you don’t have to go that far,” Mary said wryly. “I’m here,” she said, gazing at him with a loving expression.
James stared into her beautiful eyes. “I love you, Mary,” he said to her. That she could accept him despite how hideous and loathsome he was, despite the emotional abandoning he had done, was a miracle he had never expected to happen to this extent. He had hoped, yes, but the days of darkness and ignoring hospital calls were always at the back of his mind. Maybe it was because she understood a bit how a person could become like that.
“I love you, James,” Mary said, and they kissed in a union of love and friendship missing from their lives for what seemed like an eternity.
They held each other closely, neither one daring to let go. Whether James died here or whether continued his life without Mary, neither option mattered much at the moment. There was a far greater concern taking precedence at the moment. After many hours of suffering, and even longer years of loneliness and loss, everything was right once more. Finally, he was home. They were together again. And all was as it should be.
~*~
James woke up to a darkened world. The air was light around him, indicating there was no one close to him nearby. The lack of a warm body close to him was a shock, and one that startled him to a fully awake state. He looked around wildly and realized he was in a hospital corridor lying on his back. “Mary?” he thought frantically, even as he realized there would be no response coming. He pushed himself up to a sitting position, feeling the dirt scattered under his hands.
In a rush of vivid memories, he suddenly recalled the events of the last hour or so, before he obviously lost awareness of himself. He sat there dumbly for a moment, feeling a strange blend of hyperawareness and disbelief, as he recalled the state of events that led to his current undignified position.
It was all coming back to him now. He had taken a beating fighting a pack of savage nurses wielding metal pipes and a furious bloodlust. Exhausted from the fight, he made it into the second floor hallway before things were suddenly spinning in his vision. He must have passed out in the hallway from exhaustion. A chill went through him as he realized how long he must have been passed out on the flood. He was lucky there were no monsters nearby, or else he would have been dead in his sleep without realizing it.
James held his forehead, shaking his head to clear the remaining cobwebs away from his mind. “Only a dream…” he muttered, and he felt an immeasurable sadness as he realized the simple truth.
He stayed there sitting for a moment, still overwhelmed by the vivid picture his subconscious had painted him. The line between the two realities was almost fragile, and he had to fight the urge to believe that this was actually the dream; that he would be back with Mary if he closed his eyes and just willed himself into awakening.
It was a fantastic hope, he thought of how he and Mary could be reunited. It was so real. He could almost feel the warm sensation of her body laced with her perfume; the silky tresses of her hair as he held her against his shoulder. But the darkness of the corridor around him brought him back to undesirable reality. There was no Mary. There was no tearful reunion, no sense of love and warmth. There was only him and a cold, dark hospital floor, ominously silent as it waited for him to venture into its depths once more. There wasn’t even one of the strange creatures that lurked in this grotesque parody of a once functioning hospital. There was only silence, and a permanent, all encompassing darkness.
James got up from the dusty floor, brushing the grime off his clothes. It was incredible how vivid that dream had been in his imagination. He could have sworn it was almost reality. Was it the town that gave him that peculiar vision, or was his subconscious just projecting what he wanted to happen onto his state of unconsciousness? He didn’t know, and he suspected he wouldn’t find out the answer to that even if he contemplated it for several years. One thing was bothering him about the vision though, and that was his attitude in it when confronted by Mary. What did he have to feel guilty about? It was true he and Mary had had some difficulties in that last year, but things weren’t nearly as bad as his attitude described in that dream. Actually, they were more tragic and lonely than anything, with both of them withdrawn and wearied from the years of fighting an interminable illness. Hmm. Something to think about. Was the town trying to mess with his mind by showing him this warped version of the events that occurred in his life? It certainly seemed capable of that action. It was almost alive in a creepy sort of way, given the way it behaved towards human beings, and he couldn’t help but get a stronger feeling of dread the longer he stayed here in this place. Not that it was going to deter him. Faced with the foreboding situation at hand, James made a decision.
He had to keep going forward into the void. There was no way he could leave this town until he did what he set out to do. No matter what happened to him, what horrors he encountered on his journey, he had to keep pressing forward. He had to find Mary, no matter what it took to do so. It was the only thing he had left to define his lonely existence with; the only thing that could make things right, regardless of the cost.
Gathering his weapons and checking his pockets for the items he’d gathered, James took a moment to steady his nerves for what awaited him. It took some bravery, knowing he was going to go back out there into a world of monsters and demons lurking in the dark, but fortunately there was no one braver than a desperate man with nothing left to lose. And James was a desperate man, there was no denying that. He had no choice in the matter; there was only one way he was getting out of the town, and that was through the road that led to Mary. Whether it bypassed horrors greater than the ones he’d already seen, or thrust him into facing them head on, this was the only path that was visible to his wounded mind. Gathering his courage, James set off into the darkened corridor, determined to find what he was seeking in this town of ghosts, or to not return alive from it at all.
Mary awaited their reunion.
~*~
AN: Obviously James is still mired in his delusions here. Poor man, unable to discern why he should feel guilty over what happened with Mary. *author shakes his head*