Im not really working so hard lately but look at this RD....

[silentkill]

This is for that story with the talking wolf I'm very not heavily working on :) It's just a quick monologue. I can't in good conscience just do a monologue without narrating any action as the speech progresses...but for now it's just a rough idea of what the dialogue should be...I just don't have time right now but I need to mark this for later

Comments

[kristiangrrl]

You'd receive more of a reckoning from Katii than Amelia; Parker's her favorite poet (or one of her favorites).

Now as for your excerpt, transform the part about the national parks into active voice rather than passive voice. It slows down the intensity of the point of the passage. The beginning of the last sentence also would sound better active:

Despite that fact, humans often squander that gift by malice, greed, envy, lust -- sins that tear apart the world around you while your humanity slips your grasp like quicksilver.

[silentkill]

Yes.