Lights Will Guide You Home
He is a disaster waiting to happen: the Titanic the precise moment before it hits the iceberg and sinks, a skydiver who just jumped out of a plane without a parachute. He pines after Bella Swan when it’s clear that she will never love him with quite the same intensity, if she develops a romantic attraction at all.
Perhaps the worst bit is that he still has hope that his parachute will save him and he can fly away safely. He believes that Bella will fall in love with him and choose him.
Leah is torn between pity and distaste.
---
Their detestation is no secret to anyone, since neither of them bothers to hide it anymore. When they are wolves, and instinct trumps good sense, they often think if you weren’t part of the pack, I would try to kill you. The others pretend not to hear.
It is when she turns up in Canada, trying to find him for no discernible reason, when he finally cannot stand the tension any longer.
“I hate you,” he breathes into her ear. His breath is hot and it warms her in one giant rush of energy.
She laughs. “Of course you do.”
---
This is destruction - plain, stupid, reckless destruction, and neither of them can stop themselves. She realizes then why she came here in the first place - maybe I can only destroy myself to bring myself back to life.
They fuck and it’s not gentle or loving or healing. They fuck because they want to and they don’t care, not about themselves or each other. Everything is dispensable and nothing matters. It’s a world that isn’t, filled with impossible events that have occurred despite the laws of the universe.
She doesn’t say a word to him as she leaves the hotel room.
---
Back at home, she thanks him for the fuck. He glares at her and then, that afternoon, they’re repeating the experience.
This isn’t how destruction is supposed to work, she thinks. You’re supposed to learn from it, pick up the ashes and begin again. You’re not supposed to repeat your mistakes.
But they repeat them again and again. Maybe it’s to forget, or maybe there’s some comfort in finding someone as broken as themselves. Fucking Jacob doesn’t replace Sam, and she knows from Jacob’s thoughts that she hasn’t replaced Bella. And maybe that’s the appeal - no consequences, just raw pleasure.
---
The day of Bella’s wedding, they don’t fuck, only sit side by side in silence. One word, and the other will be angry - silence is the only way to keep things at peace between them.
He imagines Bella’s wedding gown, Edward’s smile as he sees her walking down the aisle. The kiss, and then the wedding night. He shuts his eyes; he doesn’t care about maintaining the peace anymore. “You don’t love me, do you?”
She looks taken aback, but quickly composes herself, straightening her features into cool aloofness. “Of course not,” she promises.
“Good,” he says, reaching for her.
Perhaps the worst bit is that he still has hope that his parachute will save him and he can fly away safely. He believes that Bella will fall in love with him and choose him.
Leah is torn between pity and distaste.
---
Their detestation is no secret to anyone, since neither of them bothers to hide it anymore. When they are wolves, and instinct trumps good sense, they often think if you weren’t part of the pack, I would try to kill you. The others pretend not to hear.
It is when she turns up in Canada, trying to find him for no discernible reason, when he finally cannot stand the tension any longer.
“I hate you,” he breathes into her ear. His breath is hot and it warms her in one giant rush of energy.
She laughs. “Of course you do.”
---
This is destruction - plain, stupid, reckless destruction, and neither of them can stop themselves. She realizes then why she came here in the first place - maybe I can only destroy myself to bring myself back to life.
They fuck and it’s not gentle or loving or healing. They fuck because they want to and they don’t care, not about themselves or each other. Everything is dispensable and nothing matters. It’s a world that isn’t, filled with impossible events that have occurred despite the laws of the universe.
She doesn’t say a word to him as she leaves the hotel room.
---
Back at home, she thanks him for the fuck. He glares at her and then, that afternoon, they’re repeating the experience.
This isn’t how destruction is supposed to work, she thinks. You’re supposed to learn from it, pick up the ashes and begin again. You’re not supposed to repeat your mistakes.
But they repeat them again and again. Maybe it’s to forget, or maybe there’s some comfort in finding someone as broken as themselves. Fucking Jacob doesn’t replace Sam, and she knows from Jacob’s thoughts that she hasn’t replaced Bella. And maybe that’s the appeal - no consequences, just raw pleasure.
---
The day of Bella’s wedding, they don’t fuck, only sit side by side in silence. One word, and the other will be angry - silence is the only way to keep things at peace between them.
He imagines Bella’s wedding gown, Edward’s smile as he sees her walking down the aisle. The kiss, and then the wedding night. He shuts his eyes; he doesn’t care about maintaining the peace anymore. “You don’t love me, do you?”
She looks taken aback, but quickly composes herself, straightening her features into cool aloofness. “Of course not,” she promises.
“Good,” he says, reaching for her.