Guh! *prepare for barely controlled gushing* My gods, hun that was beautiful! Bloody gorgeous! *sighs* Never got round to the cocoa and most of the tea went cold, lol. You know how much I loved what you let me see, and I still love it and where you went and how you went- and I still love how you use Mycroft in this and his, umm, what would call it, confessions(?); they're kind of heart-wrenching. It's great work and I know how much this meant to you... *hugs* I really hope you do more in this verse, (esp after where you left it, *wibbles*) I know you were talking about it, and well, duh, I want more, lol. See, I can do short gushing (we'll just ignore the fact that I gushed elsewhere before this, yes).
Oh, I just had to come back and tell you "There is no way you could be too close to me." is one of the best lines ever, well, that scene actually, but that line and the way it was delivered it just got to me- in all the best ways. *whimpery sigh*
Oh, I just had to come back and tell you "There is no way you could be too close to me." is one of the best lines ever, well, that scene actually, but that line and the way it was delivered it just got to me- in all the best ways. *whimpery sigh*
Thank you so much for that, hon! *tacklehugs*
I was a bit worried whether you would like the ending or not... but at least the boys are together now. *nods* Already writing on the sequel; it starts two days later when they're all on the way to the birthday party. Poor John. Poor Sherlock. Poor Mycroft. *clings*
Wha!?! How could I not like it, it's you. ;D Seriously though, your ending was wonderful, I know it left a lot unfinished, but it's not the kind of thing that can be finished that easily, so I think it's perfect.
*squeaks* Sequel good *nodnodnod* Oh, gods, do you have any idea how much 've been thinking about how you'd handle this and just hoping... ...dying to see how horrible it's going to be for them, Mycroft and the boys, and "Mummy"- I can't imagine her psyche, so broken already thanks to him... I worry. But I know whatever you do to them you'll fix or at least put them on the right track to get fixed. *hugs*
Powerful stuff, girl; I was reading a fic about past abuse once and someone posted that the victim, now he was an adult, wouldn't really have stood for more abuse but would surely have taken revenge on the abusive parent at that point. I replied with the comment that there was a ten-year lag between the time I last saw MY abuser (my stepdad) at age 15 and suddenly again at age 25, when I was married and over six months' pregnant with my second child, and I didn't react at all the way I'd imagined myself reacting if I ever saw him again; the circumstances of seeing him again at 25 were that my then-17 year old half-brother stopped by unannounced to visit while passing through town with his dad (my aforementioned former stepdad), and when I opened my front door to my kid brother, my ex-stepdad was standing there on the porch right behind him, smirking at me just like in the bad old days. As an adult now with my own family who had survived all he did to me, you'd think that I would have been in a position that night to at least order
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Here I am again, with part 2...So no, as an adult I did NOT righteously take back my power or kick my abuser in the nuts or tell him just what a sick, depraved, hellbound fucker he was; I became his victim all over again under the power of his unnerving stare, and even seeing him on one level as just an ugly, sick shit of a man instead of this epic MONSTER he'd been all my childhood, I still couldn't stop myself reverting emotionally/mentally to the 11 year old who was afraid to fall asleep at night for fear of waking up to his body crushing mine or his hands all over me in the middle of the night. So in Sherlock's case in this fic, I totally get why, as a grown man with such keen mental acuity and a razor-sharp ability to parse other peoples' psyches, he would still become so powerless and controlled in the presence of his abuser, his father. I never got 'closure' or a second chance to face my ex stepdad; when he picked my brother up the next morn he didn't leave the car this time because his new wife was with him, and I didn't leave
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Oh, honey. My heart goes out to you tonight and I don't have words for how much I admire you right now- I hope you realize how strong you are, in so many ways.
I don't want to comment hijack on someone else's LJ so I won't go on, but I wanted you to know that I, as just a random stranger, really appreciate your honesty; your strength and your courage.
So, yeah. Just... I wanted you to know that someone read this and was thinking of you this evening.
Thank you; I hesitated as well to comment so lengthily and take any focus off silkmoth's story, but I wanted to make the point that, for ME at any rate, Sherlock's behavior made sense and seemed all too realistic, especially if neither he nor Mycroft ever really dealt with the fallout of what their father did. In my situation, for me the WORST thing about it all wasn't even my abuse; the worst thing was that my mom and stepdad split up when I was 15 and I wanted to call the cops and tell them what my stepdad had done to me because I didn't want him to get visitation rights to my little half-brother (the same bro who came to visit me that night when I was 25). But Mom said they wouldn't believe me, and if they did SHE would tell them I was lying because the whole thing was shameful and she was sure he'd never touch a BOY anyway,much less his own son. And that's my WORST thing, that I didn't try harder to keep that man away from my brother, cause he DID molest my brother, every summer when he had him for visitation from the time my
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It's probably pointless to say, but I'll say it anyway: nothing about what happened to you was your fault.
It's like you said up-thread (ish)- sometimes, when horrific things happen, we get stuck in a place or in a behaviour or even stuck with a belief. You were a kid. A 15 year old kid, who was being told to stay quiet by the person who was supposed to look after you and the more time that passes, the harder it gets to say/do anything. None of what was done to you, or your siblings, is on you. I hope you *know* that even if it doesn't *feel* that way. I suspect, however, that no amount of saying that would ever change how you feel about it- but I think it's important, sometimes, to actually hear it said. Or read it, I suppose.
Also, literature (IMO) is meant to be inspiring and thought-provoking, so discussion in-thread is a compliment to the author. Definitely. ;)
I think what I like best about this is the honesty that you've managed to work into the fic- John's slowly growing understanding; Mycroft's confusion and Sherlock's resilience and vulnerability. I look forward to seeing the rest of the story and how you work it out because I get the sense that you have the right amount of respect for the subject matter to do it justice.
Also, stylistically, I like what you've done and how everything was woven together. Really enjoyed your writing style and the combination of delicacy and forcefulness. Very well written and constructed. 'Enjoyed' might not be the right word, but you've definitely had an effect on me with this! :)
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See, I can do short gushing (we'll just ignore the fact that I gushed elsewhere before this, yes).
Oh, I just had to come back and tell you "There is no way you could be too close to me." is one of the best lines ever, well, that scene actually, but that line and the way it was delivered it just got to me- in all the best ways. *whimpery sigh*
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Thank you so much for that, hon! *tacklehugs*
I was a bit worried whether you would like the ending or not... but at least the boys are together now. *nods* Already writing on the sequel; it starts two days later when they're all on the way to the birthday party. Poor John. Poor Sherlock. Poor Mycroft. *clings*
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Wha!?! How could I not like it, it's you. ;D
Seriously though, your ending was wonderful, I know it left a lot unfinished, but it's not the kind of thing that can be finished that easily, so I think it's perfect.
*squeaks* Sequel good *nodnodnod* Oh, gods, do you have any idea how much 've been thinking about how you'd handle this and just hoping... ...dying to see how horrible it's going to be for them, Mycroft and the boys, and "Mummy"- I can't imagine her psyche, so broken already thanks to him... I worry. But I know whatever you do to them you'll fix or at least put them on the right track to get fixed. *hugs*
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I don't want to comment hijack on someone else's LJ so I won't go on, but I wanted you to know that I, as just a random stranger, really appreciate your honesty; your strength and your courage.
So, yeah. Just... I wanted you to know that someone read this and was thinking of you this evening.
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It's like you said up-thread (ish)- sometimes, when horrific things happen, we get stuck in a place or in a behaviour or even stuck with a belief. You were a kid. A 15 year old kid, who was being told to stay quiet by the person who was supposed to look after you and the more time that passes, the harder it gets to say/do anything. None of what was done to you, or your siblings, is on you. I hope you *know* that even if it doesn't *feel* that way. I suspect, however, that no amount of saying that would ever change how you feel about it- but I think it's important, sometimes, to actually hear it said. Or read it, I suppose.
Also, literature (IMO) is meant to be inspiring and thought-provoking, so discussion in-thread is a compliment to the author. Definitely. ;)
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Also, stylistically, I like what you've done and how everything was woven together. Really enjoyed your writing style and the combination of delicacy and forcefulness. Very well written and constructed. 'Enjoyed' might not be the right word, but you've definitely had an effect on me with this! :)
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