All That Glitters/End
"What did you do that for?"
"Brian..." Curt's roughened fingertips restlessly stroked his lover's
cheek.
"You were right," Brian cried. "I don't deserve your trust--"
Curt shook his head. "Then get it back."
"I can't--"
"Dammit, Brian, don't you think I'm worth fighting for?" For a few
seconds, the words hung there in the air. Curt couldn't believe he'd said
them, and from the stunned look on Brian's face, neither could he.
With a whispered "yes", Brian buried his face against Curt's neck. Curt
let out a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding and tightened
his grip around Brian's slender body.
"Today could be the day we start over. I'm giving you today. Now don't
fuck it up," Curt growled softly.
*****
For the second time since he woke up, Brian washed his face. This time
when he looked at his reflection, he saw a man who was committed to
something. Up until now, he saw that his life had no real purpose. But he
had one now.
It had taken the death of a fiction like Maxwell Demon to give Brian Slade
back his life.
*****
When he reappeared, Brian looked like the changed man he was. He was
dressed conservatively, the lean angular lines of his face completely
unadorned by makeup or artifice.
"I didn't recognize you," Curt said with a faint grin.
"That's the idea. I don't want anything to ruin your mother's wake."
Curt nodded. "It wasn't necessary, but...thanks."
"What about your family? Won't they be--"
"My father and I have an...understanding. As for the rest..." Curt's voice
trailed off significantly.
Brian reached out and squeezed his lover's hand, unconscionably relieved
when Curt returned the gesture. "Will you be okay?"
"Long as you're there," Curt answered huskily.
*****
Curt was overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who came to pay their
respects to his mother. It seemed as though everyone knew and loved her.
That gratified him in a way he hadn't believed possible, and he wondered
if this was what healing felt like.
Brian regarded him surreptitiously, careful not to draw attention to
either one of them. "You all right?"
To his surprise, Curt smiled. "I feel like she's here. Do you feel it?"
Brian gave him a puzzled look. "Feel what?"
"I dunno. Warm. Light."
Brian's face cleared. He slid his hand into Curt's grasp, and Curt made no
attempt to move away. "You mean like this?" he whispered.
"Yeah. Just like that," Curt murmured.
Curt's father nodded in his son's general direction, and for the first
time in his life, Curt met his gaze unapologetically. "Dad's holding up
pretty good."
"Yeah."
"I think he likes you."
Brian snorted. "Really? How can you tell?"
"Well, he hasn't tried to come over here and tear us apart."
Brian reluctantly released Curt's hand, only to cup his chin tenderly. "He
can't. Only *you* can do that."
Curt brushed his mouth over Brian's fingers and said, "Are you trying to
seduce me?"
The light in Brian's eyes faded. "I already did that. But getting you into
bed wasn't what either one of us really wanted."
"It wasn't?"
Brian picked up Curt's hand and pressed it against his chest. "No," he
whispered, "I think we both wanted you in *here*."
Curt's fingers flexed as if instinctively responding to Brian's heartfelt
announcement. "I thought I was."
"You are now."
"You sure about this?"
Brian sighed, and Curt curled his fingers around the silky material of his
shirt, hopelessly wrinkling it. "Absolutely."
"That's pretty sure," Curt said, leaning forward to nuzzle Brian's cheek.
"Everyone's staring," Brian protested.
"Let'em look. I've waited a long time for you to give me this." Curt
placed his palm over Brian's heart, and Brian couldn't bring himself to
say a word.
He thought he felt it now. What Curt felt. Warm. Light.
Love.
It was there with them.
And it was real.
End