Finding oneself not dead, causes mental anguish
Why? I'm supposed to be dead. I died. Saving the world. I was mortal and I died. I shouldn't be here. And where is here? It's not supposed to work this way,when someone dies they die. It's part of mortality. I understood that. I had accepted that, but now. The last think I remember was bringers, and Andrew. But this is just silly, I'm dead. I died a human, and humans don't come back. So maybe I'm not back, maybe this is heaven. But heaven looks a lot like California. So maybe I'm just not back then, as a human anyway.
"D'Hoffryn?"
He should of heard that even if I wasn't human. If I was a demon he still would have heard that. I thought, I was dead. I died nobly. Didn't I? So, why am I back? Or am I? This is all very confusing and not at all like it was explained to me. Sure, Buffy came back, but that was magic, and she was a slayer. Regular people don't come back. Joyce didn't and Tara didn't. Even though Willow really wanted her to. So, why?
I started to cry, but my tears weren't wet. Am I an angel, or a ghost? This isn't right. I lived, I died. I did what I was supposed to.