scratch that. im a damn failure. 

Stress. I wonder if it hinders or acts as a motivator. It seems strange, but sometimes I feel like we almost welcome stress, rather than simply recognizing it and getting worked up over it. That way, when we overcome it, it's that much more of a relief. It's that much more of a breath of fresh air.

It's my third year of college.More often than not ( Read more... )

I'm not sure I've ever been so stressed
or scared to fall short of expectations.

At the same time,
I can't remember the last time I felt this
numb 
 insignificant.

I have an eating disorder.

I am home for a week.

These 2 things above do not go together.

"i don't care if it hurts,
i want to have control.
i want a perfect body,
i want a perfect soul."

-Creep by Radiohead

When will all this sadness go away?

"I take a drink sit back and relax
Smoke my mind to make me feel
better for a small time"
-Jimi Thing

"Sitting smoking feeling high
And in this moment it feels so right"
-Crush

...and somehow, its now the only thing that keeps me sane.

I'm highly caffeinated.

I don't know why I still post things here, maybe its my way of getting shit out of my head. Maybe its a quiet cry for help. Either way, I'm not stopping anytime soon ( Read more... )

I'm not in a good place right now.