Parenting Query
I posted this in an online parenting forum, but thought I'd see if any of you ljers would liek to offer me some input...
My son is 7 and is a pretty good kid overall. He's smart and athletic, but also shy and insecure. I'm currently having him tested for learning disabilities, and worry that he isn't emotionaly stable. I'm seekign child therapy for him, but we are curretnly on a waiting list for both of these.
The issue I'm specifically asking about is this: For about the past two years we've been struggling with him taking things taht are not his, or without asking for them... mainly food.
We have a bucket put away on the top shelf of the cupboard that holds all the seasonal treats, candy and the like. He has gotten in to it on many occasions and taken the treats without asking, or while we were still asleep. He also knows he's not supposed to do this, so he hides the evidence (wrappers, etc). To this specific event, our attempt to punish him was to tell him the next time he did it, he would lose half of it to the garbage. And if he did it again, it would all go into the garbge. This did not stophim and he went into the bucket anyway. He was very upset when we threw thecandy out, but he proceeded to go into it again despite being reminded what would happen again. This has happened a couple of times with this bucket, and now we don't keep candy in the house.
Another incident was him stealing candy from our roomate's room. He took some candy on more than one occasion, and when he was caught refused to apologize. He was grounded to the corner until he would (which he still didn't). We asked his after school Tae Kwon Do program to talk to him about it, and he immedietly apologized afterwards... which tells me he doesn't have the same respect for us (his parents) as he does his teachers.
Another problem is that he's been eating his school lunch snacks in the mornings before we wake up. At first I told him that they're expensive and that if he's still hungry in the morning to pour more cereal or eat something else. Then when he continued (sometimes eating snacks instead of breakfast) we took 1 snack away for the week (out of 2 a day). When he contniued, we took both away. When he continued we had a big talk about trust and how he was letting us down, and showing us that we couldn't trust him. He told us that he can't help it, they're too good. And that we should take them away from the cupboard. So we did. And we're rationing them out to him. But he complains and asks when they will be put back.
This also doesn't stop him frmo taking ice cream, crackers, or other things without permission from the rest of the house. He gets into anything that he thinks will taste good. He will often lie that he took things until we show evidence.
I don't want to make a big deal about it because he's a growing kid and needs to eat, and in the same breath, he knows he's not supposed to take these things. I worry that if he can't use his willpower to stop himself, tehn next things will be alcohol, drugs and sex when he's older.
I realize that our approach doesn't seem to be working and I hope someone can give me some advice to help me show him better how to strengthen his willpower and make good choices. I also would like a more constructive discipline method as my current one doesn't work
Thanks in advance.
My son is 7 and is a pretty good kid overall. He's smart and athletic, but also shy and insecure. I'm currently having him tested for learning disabilities, and worry that he isn't emotionaly stable. I'm seekign child therapy for him, but we are curretnly on a waiting list for both of these.
The issue I'm specifically asking about is this: For about the past two years we've been struggling with him taking things taht are not his, or without asking for them... mainly food.
We have a bucket put away on the top shelf of the cupboard that holds all the seasonal treats, candy and the like. He has gotten in to it on many occasions and taken the treats without asking, or while we were still asleep. He also knows he's not supposed to do this, so he hides the evidence (wrappers, etc). To this specific event, our attempt to punish him was to tell him the next time he did it, he would lose half of it to the garbage. And if he did it again, it would all go into the garbge. This did not stophim and he went into the bucket anyway. He was very upset when we threw thecandy out, but he proceeded to go into it again despite being reminded what would happen again. This has happened a couple of times with this bucket, and now we don't keep candy in the house.
Another incident was him stealing candy from our roomate's room. He took some candy on more than one occasion, and when he was caught refused to apologize. He was grounded to the corner until he would (which he still didn't). We asked his after school Tae Kwon Do program to talk to him about it, and he immedietly apologized afterwards... which tells me he doesn't have the same respect for us (his parents) as he does his teachers.
Another problem is that he's been eating his school lunch snacks in the mornings before we wake up. At first I told him that they're expensive and that if he's still hungry in the morning to pour more cereal or eat something else. Then when he continued (sometimes eating snacks instead of breakfast) we took 1 snack away for the week (out of 2 a day). When he contniued, we took both away. When he continued we had a big talk about trust and how he was letting us down, and showing us that we couldn't trust him. He told us that he can't help it, they're too good. And that we should take them away from the cupboard. So we did. And we're rationing them out to him. But he complains and asks when they will be put back.
This also doesn't stop him frmo taking ice cream, crackers, or other things without permission from the rest of the house. He gets into anything that he thinks will taste good. He will often lie that he took things until we show evidence.
I don't want to make a big deal about it because he's a growing kid and needs to eat, and in the same breath, he knows he's not supposed to take these things. I worry that if he can't use his willpower to stop himself, tehn next things will be alcohol, drugs and sex when he's older.
I realize that our approach doesn't seem to be working and I hope someone can give me some advice to help me show him better how to strengthen his willpower and make good choices. I also would like a more constructive discipline method as my current one doesn't work
Thanks in advance.