Application Copy
Player
Name: Birdy
Livejournal Username: ”shirhan_blade”
E-mail: kyanve@gmail.com
AIM/MSN: shirhanblade (AIM), Jabberwockwings (AIM mobile), kyanve (Plurk)
Timezone: Arizona
Current Characters in Route: Heiji Hattori
Character
Name: Kuja
Series: FFIX
Timeline: Just post end of FFIX, pre-Dissidia
Canon Resource Links: Final Fantasy IX, and his page. I don't actually remember the “not created as a child” part ever being said in game, but I'm halfway through a canon-review as is, so if I was wrong on that, it's at least something I can easily just not deal with until I've confirmed it.
Also really, possible ambiguity of the ending aside, he's, ah, dead.
Personality: Kuja is narcissistic, flamboyant, and manipulative, with a touch of a sadistic streak, and a strong, if self-centered survival instinct...
And psychologically, he's the equivalent of a bonsai tree that's been stepped on, had a hammer taken to it, grafted back together all wrong, had a very small drinking-glass shoved over it, and been kept in a too-small pot. Most of his complexes have a pretty clear cause-effect relationship with his creation and purpose, whether for survival's sake coping with it or as a spiteful backlash against it, and he's never really had any opening to grow outside of that.
He's well aware that he was never suppoesd to have that much of a personality of his own, and he's lived his entire life with a ticking clock. His sense of self and tendency to try to act on his own will made him a faulty prototype to Garland, and in Garland's mechanically clinical worldview, the squeaky wheel gets melted down for parts as soon as it can be replaced. He's known for a very long time that Garland intended to destroy and replace him as soon as it was feasible, and as much as I don't think he's ever thought about what he'd DO with himself if he were free of Garland, he didn't want to die - so that was the first seed of rebellion there; living and having some chance at something other than Garland's restrictions meant finding a way to destroy his creator somehow. One of his biggest background impulses has been a survival instinct honed down to desperation; he lived most of his life in a state of continual denial, with an awareness that his days were numbered and that he was grasping at straws for something he could use that may not even be able to save him in the end, yet stubbornly refusing to actually give up.... and lapsing into what amounted to a complete psychotic breakdown when he finally did manage to kill Garland and Garland triggered a killswitch on him.
The survival instinct has a bit of a cyclical relationship with his ego and narcissistic tendencies; the stubborn sense of pride grew in backlash reaction to the assurance that he was a failure that wasn't supposed to exist. He's very literally been the only person he has, and the arrogance is a sort of overkill response, asserting right back to the world that he is important in spite of being a “weapon”. The survival instinct feeds into the ego, and there are streaks where things aren't going as well where the ego ends up supporting the survival instinct. He's distinctive and often eccentric; even at his most subtle, he refuses to blend in with the crowd per se so much as redirect attention and play from the background, less disappearing and more shunting blame off on others.
That intense flamboyant streak and his fascination for the arts are also another case of backlash; note that Bran Bal and Garland himself were a very bleak, mechanical, static existence. All of his preening and posturing was not only lashing back against being a 'failure', it was establishing himself as being as different from that as possible, as well as trying to wring as much out of what life he had as possible. Considering his hatred of his homeworld and its condition, it's no surprise that the things that drew his attention the most on Gaea were the fine arts, literature, theatre, beauty and emotion - all the “pointless” things that capitalized on what he wasn't supposed to have or be, and the things that asserted the idea that there was more to life than mere survival: heroic sagas, tragedies, romances, works of beauty. His “secret lair” in the desert says quite a bit about him. Not only is it covered in statuary, stained glass, bookselves, murals, marble, and luxury, but it's not something accessible to anyone else short of an occasional trap of his - it's something he built purely for his own benefit, hoarded away from public view.
This was even applied to his intended role as “The Angel of Death”. As much as he was a living weapon in his own right and highly effective at causing devastation, he wouldn't settle for straightforward bloodshed and massacres, going so far as to try to avoid acting by his own hand. He's intelligent and capable of being charismatic and incredibly manipulative, and the incredible amount of damage he caused before he was even identified clearly as a problem, was done by finding people's weaknesses, finding people he could use, pushing those to his advantage, and getting others to destroy themselves with just nudges here and there and offering the tools to do the most damage possible. Not only has he never learned any kind of weapon, he's actively shown disdain for such 'crude methods', relying entirely on magic and guile.
Given that his entire purpoes was to wipe out life on Gaea, his basic senses of empathy are stunted; after all, why get attached to people you're going to be killing, anyway? His appreciation of heroic exploits and the wills and higher natures of others is somewhat sociopathic by training - it's an aesthetic appreciation of something fascinating, but not something he draws personal connections to easily at all. He can be very, very cold-blooded, and incredibly vindictive; during his life on Gaea, a great deal of his bitterness and frustration at his own situation got channeled into his destructive tendencies. You know that temptation to lash out at anything in your path and hurt things when you're angry or frustrated that most people get taught is a bad thing? He's encouraged, cultivated, and thrived in it. He has a very definite temper that can flash violently destructive or calculatingly sadistic with little to no warning.
The one saving grace in his ability to deal with others as something other than tools and targets is a continuation of the nervous breakdowns and backlashes against his creator's will for him. As much as he played up the role of the villain, he was always well aware that he'd been cast as the VILLAIN whether he liked it or not; he ran with the role and was very good at it, but there's still that note of frustration that it was a role chosen for him. After his psychotic break, as he was dying, he made every indication that, if he'd had a second chance, he wanted to be something other than the “Angel of Death”, and an opportunity to have an actual life that wasn't wrapped around devastation, suffering, and death - to live as a part of what he'd been observing, dissecting, and told to kill.
Of course, this doesn't mean he'll be good at this whole “empathy and altruism” business. He has some basic understanding of “don't do more harm than necessary and try to help others where possible”, and might take some refuge in theatrics and literary tropes, but his understanding of “acts of kindness” is still mostly calculating and self-serving. He's cynical and paranoid, and will expect people to act on their own interests even at others' expense, and it'll be a while before he has a grasp of doing an “act of kindness” that isn't either trying to gain someone's favor, or maintain someone's favor and encourage them to help him, or maybe repayment for such. He'd really like to earn reactions from people that aren't “You bastard” and “Kill it with fire”, but he doesn't really have much understanding of emotional attachments to others, and it'll be a good while before his sense of ethics and morality finds any higher ground than enlightened self-interest.
Still, between his own complexes and where he's been taken from, he's at least going to be trying.
Strengths/Weaknesses:
*He's very intelligent. He learns very quickly, has a good grasp of tactical sense, and is very good at the mastermind game, making plans with contingencies and alternate routes in case of things going wrong, and adapting his plans to unexpected changes about as well as is possible. He also can memorize long swathes of poetry and plays, and has a terrifying grasp of literary devices, analysis, and criticism that occasionally bleeds into his worldview in ways that border on fourth-wall jabs.
*As much as it wasn't his purpose, he does have some ability of his own with 'creative pursuits'; he created an entire RACE via artifice and magic, and probably has some minor skills with more mundane such as well...and his fascination for the arts probably has some attempts at forays into it.
*He can be very good with people. He's excellent with politesse and courtesy, and as much as he might not actually care that much, he can at least sound sympathetic; he knows a good amount of the standard tricks of rhetoric, and does know how to play off people's personalities, wants, and needs. This can go either way, since sure, he's used to using it destructively, but it's just as easy to turn that towards something useful, or towards preventing conflicts instead of instigating them, if he thinks of it.
*He's stubborn and strong-willed. This counts for both really - once he gets set on a goal, it's very hard to shift him away from it, and as long as he's still after said goal or something that's “best interest”, nothing short of killing him will stop him even if he might not always be actively working towards it. Of course, things that are too noticeable of a roadblock or people that're to intent on getting in his way will get that temper of his...
*Oh yeah, that temper! He's trying to learn, really he is, but he doesn't take insults or slights well at ALL, nor does he take being interfered with or opposed! He also holds grudges like a champion until something or someone manages to pry his grubby little paws off them. The times he visibly loses his temper and lashes out are the BETTER ones, since they at least lessen the chance that he'll do something overkillish and vicious months later for revenge.
*For someone as good with psychology as he is, and as fond of literature and the arts as he is, he can be annoyingly shallow at times. He takes his sense of aesthetics personally, preens like a peacock, and can be incredibly catty if those are tarnished or offended. It's less that he doesn't have an ability to appreciate people's strengths, and more that whole stunted empathy thing throwing his priorities funny sometimes.
*Authority issues! If he doesn't have to, he will NOT take orders. He has a sense of respecting the laws for his own self-interest, but that's about it; you won't get him to do something unless he has some stake in it or you can bargain him into it, or he decides to do it on his own. Try to order him around, and you will find one of his shortest fuses ever, whether he obviously blows up at you or not. Try to force the issue, and not only will he not bow, he might just decide to screw with whatever you're trying to do out of spite.
*He's not used to being treated decently. On the negative side, he'll expect people around him to be acting, at best, out of their own self-interest, and will be cynical about altruistic motives; on the positive side, someone going out of their way to do something to help him without being stupid about it will leave a pretty strong impression.
*As fussy about aesthetics and appearance as he is, he's not stupid or without common sense - he does understand needing foundations for his actions, concerns of resources and practical needs, and the whole enlightened self-interest/self-serving thing means he'll be working towards having a solid base to work with that any travel companions he has would end up benefiting from as well.
*HE'S AN EXCELLENT LIAR and a very good actor. He can lie like a rug, and it comes off perfectly natural and sincere; he doesn't have any real tics or tells, there's no hesitation or uncertainty, and he's very good at gauging what people would and wouldn't believe.
Pokémon Information
Affiliation: Breeder
Starter: Feebas “Karma”
Password: Grape Jelly
Samples
First Person Sample:
[The first thing on the camera is a typically sad-looking Feebas. This is the saddest fish ever, and one of the most pathetic, shabby, ugly fish in existence. Kuja's voice is coming from somewhere behind the camera...]
As much as I'd prefer to solve things myself, I'm afraid I must come to you all with a question - a plea for help.
It's been my understanding that most creatures don't look this … [He is TRYING to have some compassion for the ragged drab creature his existence has been tied to, and he really is honestly trying not to be annoyed by it! He is reminding himself that it's not the fish's fault it looks like this, and that he's probably earned some hardship to work through for his past behavior.] ragged unless there's some kind of issue with health or diet.
I'm going out on a limb and assume that “it is a fish and it's not in water” is not an issue for these creatures.
Does anyone have any prior experience to know what I should be feeding it for its scales to grow properly whole, much less for it to regain some color? Any advice on how to get it in better health?
This state can't be good for the poor thing.
Third Person Sample: It's been rainy, muddy, miserable, and he had the immense misfortune to be caught out in between cities for it. His boots were caked with mud, his clothes were soaked through and muddy, his hair was soaked and bedraggled, he was cold, damp, and he didn't like that thoroughly unfamiliar scratchy feeling in the back of his throat.
In short, he was miserable.
He was taking the short, merciful break in the driving rain to...
Stop at a pond, deposit the fish in the water, and at least make some effort to get the mud out of his clothes and groom, half-stripped at the water's edge and scrubbing with a vengeance. Oh, he wouldn't be able to get anything DRY, but he'd at LEAST get it less filthy.
He was well aware he was within sight of the road and didn't care; if someone wanted to stop and gawk, more power to them.
And yes, he was monologuing.
"Blasted, wretched weather - my kingdom for just an ounce of my power back. Not even Holy or Ultima, I think I'd be content with small tricks to stay warm and dry, maybe a little spark of fire to set a camp around, and my dragon -". His mood dropped worse, slumping with a long-suffering sigh.
He shifted that put-upon expression of misery to the Feebas.
"I don't suppose you might grow into something with wings? - Although it's a little useless right now... I suppose it's my lot in life, divine justice that I suffer...."
Name: Birdy
Livejournal Username: ”shirhan_blade”
E-mail: kyanve@gmail.com
AIM/MSN: shirhanblade (AIM), Jabberwockwings (AIM mobile), kyanve (Plurk)
Timezone: Arizona
Current Characters in Route: Heiji Hattori
Character
Name: Kuja
Series: FFIX
Timeline: Just post end of FFIX, pre-Dissidia
Canon Resource Links: Final Fantasy IX, and his page. I don't actually remember the “not created as a child” part ever being said in game, but I'm halfway through a canon-review as is, so if I was wrong on that, it's at least something I can easily just not deal with until I've confirmed it.
Also really, possible ambiguity of the ending aside, he's, ah, dead.
Personality: Kuja is narcissistic, flamboyant, and manipulative, with a touch of a sadistic streak, and a strong, if self-centered survival instinct...
And psychologically, he's the equivalent of a bonsai tree that's been stepped on, had a hammer taken to it, grafted back together all wrong, had a very small drinking-glass shoved over it, and been kept in a too-small pot. Most of his complexes have a pretty clear cause-effect relationship with his creation and purpose, whether for survival's sake coping with it or as a spiteful backlash against it, and he's never really had any opening to grow outside of that.
He's well aware that he was never suppoesd to have that much of a personality of his own, and he's lived his entire life with a ticking clock. His sense of self and tendency to try to act on his own will made him a faulty prototype to Garland, and in Garland's mechanically clinical worldview, the squeaky wheel gets melted down for parts as soon as it can be replaced. He's known for a very long time that Garland intended to destroy and replace him as soon as it was feasible, and as much as I don't think he's ever thought about what he'd DO with himself if he were free of Garland, he didn't want to die - so that was the first seed of rebellion there; living and having some chance at something other than Garland's restrictions meant finding a way to destroy his creator somehow. One of his biggest background impulses has been a survival instinct honed down to desperation; he lived most of his life in a state of continual denial, with an awareness that his days were numbered and that he was grasping at straws for something he could use that may not even be able to save him in the end, yet stubbornly refusing to actually give up.... and lapsing into what amounted to a complete psychotic breakdown when he finally did manage to kill Garland and Garland triggered a killswitch on him.
The survival instinct has a bit of a cyclical relationship with his ego and narcissistic tendencies; the stubborn sense of pride grew in backlash reaction to the assurance that he was a failure that wasn't supposed to exist. He's very literally been the only person he has, and the arrogance is a sort of overkill response, asserting right back to the world that he is important in spite of being a “weapon”. The survival instinct feeds into the ego, and there are streaks where things aren't going as well where the ego ends up supporting the survival instinct. He's distinctive and often eccentric; even at his most subtle, he refuses to blend in with the crowd per se so much as redirect attention and play from the background, less disappearing and more shunting blame off on others.
That intense flamboyant streak and his fascination for the arts are also another case of backlash; note that Bran Bal and Garland himself were a very bleak, mechanical, static existence. All of his preening and posturing was not only lashing back against being a 'failure', it was establishing himself as being as different from that as possible, as well as trying to wring as much out of what life he had as possible. Considering his hatred of his homeworld and its condition, it's no surprise that the things that drew his attention the most on Gaea were the fine arts, literature, theatre, beauty and emotion - all the “pointless” things that capitalized on what he wasn't supposed to have or be, and the things that asserted the idea that there was more to life than mere survival: heroic sagas, tragedies, romances, works of beauty. His “secret lair” in the desert says quite a bit about him. Not only is it covered in statuary, stained glass, bookselves, murals, marble, and luxury, but it's not something accessible to anyone else short of an occasional trap of his - it's something he built purely for his own benefit, hoarded away from public view.
This was even applied to his intended role as “The Angel of Death”. As much as he was a living weapon in his own right and highly effective at causing devastation, he wouldn't settle for straightforward bloodshed and massacres, going so far as to try to avoid acting by his own hand. He's intelligent and capable of being charismatic and incredibly manipulative, and the incredible amount of damage he caused before he was even identified clearly as a problem, was done by finding people's weaknesses, finding people he could use, pushing those to his advantage, and getting others to destroy themselves with just nudges here and there and offering the tools to do the most damage possible. Not only has he never learned any kind of weapon, he's actively shown disdain for such 'crude methods', relying entirely on magic and guile.
Given that his entire purpoes was to wipe out life on Gaea, his basic senses of empathy are stunted; after all, why get attached to people you're going to be killing, anyway? His appreciation of heroic exploits and the wills and higher natures of others is somewhat sociopathic by training - it's an aesthetic appreciation of something fascinating, but not something he draws personal connections to easily at all. He can be very, very cold-blooded, and incredibly vindictive; during his life on Gaea, a great deal of his bitterness and frustration at his own situation got channeled into his destructive tendencies. You know that temptation to lash out at anything in your path and hurt things when you're angry or frustrated that most people get taught is a bad thing? He's encouraged, cultivated, and thrived in it. He has a very definite temper that can flash violently destructive or calculatingly sadistic with little to no warning.
The one saving grace in his ability to deal with others as something other than tools and targets is a continuation of the nervous breakdowns and backlashes against his creator's will for him. As much as he played up the role of the villain, he was always well aware that he'd been cast as the VILLAIN whether he liked it or not; he ran with the role and was very good at it, but there's still that note of frustration that it was a role chosen for him. After his psychotic break, as he was dying, he made every indication that, if he'd had a second chance, he wanted to be something other than the “Angel of Death”, and an opportunity to have an actual life that wasn't wrapped around devastation, suffering, and death - to live as a part of what he'd been observing, dissecting, and told to kill.
Of course, this doesn't mean he'll be good at this whole “empathy and altruism” business. He has some basic understanding of “don't do more harm than necessary and try to help others where possible”, and might take some refuge in theatrics and literary tropes, but his understanding of “acts of kindness” is still mostly calculating and self-serving. He's cynical and paranoid, and will expect people to act on their own interests even at others' expense, and it'll be a while before he has a grasp of doing an “act of kindness” that isn't either trying to gain someone's favor, or maintain someone's favor and encourage them to help him, or maybe repayment for such. He'd really like to earn reactions from people that aren't “You bastard” and “Kill it with fire”, but he doesn't really have much understanding of emotional attachments to others, and it'll be a good while before his sense of ethics and morality finds any higher ground than enlightened self-interest.
Still, between his own complexes and where he's been taken from, he's at least going to be trying.
Strengths/Weaknesses:
*He's very intelligent. He learns very quickly, has a good grasp of tactical sense, and is very good at the mastermind game, making plans with contingencies and alternate routes in case of things going wrong, and adapting his plans to unexpected changes about as well as is possible. He also can memorize long swathes of poetry and plays, and has a terrifying grasp of literary devices, analysis, and criticism that occasionally bleeds into his worldview in ways that border on fourth-wall jabs.
*As much as it wasn't his purpose, he does have some ability of his own with 'creative pursuits'; he created an entire RACE via artifice and magic, and probably has some minor skills with more mundane such as well...and his fascination for the arts probably has some attempts at forays into it.
*He can be very good with people. He's excellent with politesse and courtesy, and as much as he might not actually care that much, he can at least sound sympathetic; he knows a good amount of the standard tricks of rhetoric, and does know how to play off people's personalities, wants, and needs. This can go either way, since sure, he's used to using it destructively, but it's just as easy to turn that towards something useful, or towards preventing conflicts instead of instigating them, if he thinks of it.
*He's stubborn and strong-willed. This counts for both really - once he gets set on a goal, it's very hard to shift him away from it, and as long as he's still after said goal or something that's “best interest”, nothing short of killing him will stop him even if he might not always be actively working towards it. Of course, things that are too noticeable of a roadblock or people that're to intent on getting in his way will get that temper of his...
*Oh yeah, that temper! He's trying to learn, really he is, but he doesn't take insults or slights well at ALL, nor does he take being interfered with or opposed! He also holds grudges like a champion until something or someone manages to pry his grubby little paws off them. The times he visibly loses his temper and lashes out are the BETTER ones, since they at least lessen the chance that he'll do something overkillish and vicious months later for revenge.
*For someone as good with psychology as he is, and as fond of literature and the arts as he is, he can be annoyingly shallow at times. He takes his sense of aesthetics personally, preens like a peacock, and can be incredibly catty if those are tarnished or offended. It's less that he doesn't have an ability to appreciate people's strengths, and more that whole stunted empathy thing throwing his priorities funny sometimes.
*Authority issues! If he doesn't have to, he will NOT take orders. He has a sense of respecting the laws for his own self-interest, but that's about it; you won't get him to do something unless he has some stake in it or you can bargain him into it, or he decides to do it on his own. Try to order him around, and you will find one of his shortest fuses ever, whether he obviously blows up at you or not. Try to force the issue, and not only will he not bow, he might just decide to screw with whatever you're trying to do out of spite.
*He's not used to being treated decently. On the negative side, he'll expect people around him to be acting, at best, out of their own self-interest, and will be cynical about altruistic motives; on the positive side, someone going out of their way to do something to help him without being stupid about it will leave a pretty strong impression.
*As fussy about aesthetics and appearance as he is, he's not stupid or without common sense - he does understand needing foundations for his actions, concerns of resources and practical needs, and the whole enlightened self-interest/self-serving thing means he'll be working towards having a solid base to work with that any travel companions he has would end up benefiting from as well.
*HE'S AN EXCELLENT LIAR and a very good actor. He can lie like a rug, and it comes off perfectly natural and sincere; he doesn't have any real tics or tells, there's no hesitation or uncertainty, and he's very good at gauging what people would and wouldn't believe.
Pokémon Information
Affiliation: Breeder
Starter: Feebas “Karma”
Password: Grape Jelly
Samples
First Person Sample:
[The first thing on the camera is a typically sad-looking Feebas. This is the saddest fish ever, and one of the most pathetic, shabby, ugly fish in existence. Kuja's voice is coming from somewhere behind the camera...]
As much as I'd prefer to solve things myself, I'm afraid I must come to you all with a question - a plea for help.
It's been my understanding that most creatures don't look this … [He is TRYING to have some compassion for the ragged drab creature his existence has been tied to, and he really is honestly trying not to be annoyed by it! He is reminding himself that it's not the fish's fault it looks like this, and that he's probably earned some hardship to work through for his past behavior.] ragged unless there's some kind of issue with health or diet.
I'm going out on a limb and assume that “it is a fish and it's not in water” is not an issue for these creatures.
Does anyone have any prior experience to know what I should be feeding it for its scales to grow properly whole, much less for it to regain some color? Any advice on how to get it in better health?
This state can't be good for the poor thing.
Third Person Sample: It's been rainy, muddy, miserable, and he had the immense misfortune to be caught out in between cities for it. His boots were caked with mud, his clothes were soaked through and muddy, his hair was soaked and bedraggled, he was cold, damp, and he didn't like that thoroughly unfamiliar scratchy feeling in the back of his throat.
In short, he was miserable.
He was taking the short, merciful break in the driving rain to...
Stop at a pond, deposit the fish in the water, and at least make some effort to get the mud out of his clothes and groom, half-stripped at the water's edge and scrubbing with a vengeance. Oh, he wouldn't be able to get anything DRY, but he'd at LEAST get it less filthy.
He was well aware he was within sight of the road and didn't care; if someone wanted to stop and gawk, more power to them.
And yes, he was monologuing.
"Blasted, wretched weather - my kingdom for just an ounce of my power back. Not even Holy or Ultima, I think I'd be content with small tricks to stay warm and dry, maybe a little spark of fire to set a camp around, and my dragon -". His mood dropped worse, slumping with a long-suffering sigh.
He shifted that put-upon expression of misery to the Feebas.
"I don't suppose you might grow into something with wings? - Although it's a little useless right now... I suppose it's my lot in life, divine justice that I suffer...."