Cutter [original]

[silver_pants]

Title: Cutter
Disclaimer: I own this piece of work
Rating: 16+
Warnings: abuse, cutting, rape, the effects of all three, swearing... not for the weak of heart or stomach or the cowardly of morals
Awards: Second Place in As Deep As It Gets
Top Spot for Creativity in the Rant and Vent Contest
4th place - Nice read, I'll definitely read it again. in

Comments

[felinemoonchild]

Yes, very raw and real and harsh. But some people need to know what it's like to be in a self-mutilator's position. Prose-wise, I don't really have anything to say.

But the line "Forget either one of them turned to you for comfort before me"...I don't know. I don't really agree with it. I mean, I don't know what it was like for you in the moment, but for me it was like...I don't think anything else would have worked for me right then. I needed to calm down and that's what the pain did for me. It gave me focus. And yeah, it also makes me feel guilty because I've known so many people that have cut and it's just like...I don't know. It bothers me. I guess because no one's really come out with a "This is what you say to a cutter" guide. I mean, there are plenty of Don'ts, but not many do's, you know?

Anyway, did this help at all? The writing, I mean.

[illianaka]

A little bit.

As far as the reactions, I've encountered more who violently reject cutters than who try to accept them. This POV is more for the cutters themselves, and for the sideline people to realize that this is how they tend to make cutters feel.

[felinemoonchild]

Yeah, people in general are disgusted and actually cruel about it. I wasn't really pointing out something that needed to be changed in it, just more like...I dunno, asking what you think people should say to cutters? I don't know, I've almost come to a point where I just don't even really want to discourage it anymore because the cuts will heal, you know? There's no telling what would happen if that kind of mental chaos was going on and there WASN'T any release. I'm pretty sure it would take a lot longer to heal, whatever it was.

[illianaka]

It's... there's nothing you can say. Words ought to be left up to therapists and professionals like that. They, at least, have experience with so many others in order to back up opinions and facts. They're the ones who should suggest suicide hotlines, medication, and other alternatives. They're the ones who should help the individual figure out what they, the individual, can do in order to find a healthier way to sort out the mental chaos.

Strangers or acquaintances ought to keep their damn mouths shut. It's like pointing out someone's botched haircut, but on a grosser scale. I've had perfect strangers come up to me and snidely say, "You know, there are creams to make those scars go away." And my only desired reactions are to lash out, violently, preferably physically... but I always end up running away and falling into a lower state thinking, Who does that...?Friends and family... it... it's much more complicated, but there are two things they can do, from my experience. One is to acknowledge the cuts. Cutting is a form of

[ditch_gospel]

I like the concept of minimizing self harm. For example, we should know where and how to cut so that we won't cause undue damage, make sure to always use a clean blade, etc. Although to be honest, I don't know how much good this would do. A lot of people, when they are in an SI mode, probably are not in the mindset to care about the damage they inflict upon themselves.

If I were to encounter SI in a friend, I think this is the path I would take: be supportive, encourage them to talk if they want to, but don't try to tell them that what they're doing is wrong. It has a valid purpose, even if it isn't the healthiest method of coping. Just try to encourage them to be safe, and be there for them as an alternative

[illianaka]

Actually, I don't see how that's a bad idea. You reminded me of a friend I've largely lost contact with. When she found out I cut, she pulled me aside and told me she didn't approve, but if I must, here's where to cut to minimize bleeding, and here's where not to cut or else I may accidentally kill myself or slice my nerves and lose the use of my hands. (As I wrote even back then, that freaked me out enough to listen

[ditch_gospel]

It is freaky. Had I known, when I started, that the wrists are a sucky place to cut, maybe I could have avoided nerve damage. It remains to be seen whether I've learned from my errors or not, as I haven't picked up a blade in just about a year now

[illianaka]

I'm surprised it's not brought up in any health classes unless some sort of death or tragic event happens at the very school.

I had never heard of it until the friend I encountered. When she told me she dealt with stress that way, I didn't find it sick--weird, maybe, but not sick. As a writer, my natural curiosity got the better of me, and I cut my thumb. The result was an adrenaline rush I hadn't expected, intense shaking, and when it was over, a strange sense of calm exhaustion.

If it was brought up--not condescendingly--in health classes, I think there would be far more prevention. If people were taught how to deal with such a delicate situation at an early age, there would be less accusations and more help.

To compare, teaching safe sex methods prevents far more young pregnancies than preaching abstinence. You can't say, "Only one method works." You have to say, "This is the deal. Here are a few ways to deal with it without causing more harm."