Sometimes i look bag at entry's and get mad at myself for not being cured ( Read more... )

My life turned out wrong, i think sometimes ( Read more... )

Lately my binge/purge sessions consist of soft bread. i LOVE soft bread, fluffy soft fresh bread. So this made me think of "trends". I've had a lots of "trends" or "phases" in my sessions. One time, my b/p's were very focused on cereal. This doesn't mean cereal was ALL i b/p'd on, just that it was the majority of the binge.Also the trigger for the ( Read more... )

I started an online blog recently. It's not a serious one at all, nothing like my livejournal. It's a more fun side of me, being silly and giving sarcastic advice ( Read more... )

In a way, I feel like the reason i use my willpower to starve myself rather than to eat rigth and exercise..is because a large part of me is still wanting someone to save me. From this world, from the future, from everything that's unknown and everything that's scary and unfamiliar. Who would save me if i am healthy ( Read more... )

Gained weight. All i can think is "i need to fix this". This week is gonna be HELL.
*sigh* i just wanna be better already. But seeing how thin i am triggers me more than when i see myself as fat. I dunno i dunno i dunno.

I want to get better, mentally..but i want to stay thin ( Read more... )

today i had a slip up and purged..and i enjoyed every second of it :(
I'm very ashamed of myself.
Also, i feel lonely lately.
And the boy i currently like has a low sex drive due to his weed addiction.
And he said he'll cut down, but i dunno what else i can do to help get his sex drive back into gear. It's killing my self esteem.Gahhh. Life.

I'm so tired ( Read more... )

As ridiculous/ironic/paradoxical/irrational as it may be, sometimes i truly feel like my eating disorder(s) is the only thing that is truly always there for me. I HATE feeling this way.