(no subject)
[Mindrape's source is the same as Asuka's... though half the damage comes from trauma wholly unrelated to the Angel]
Saving people. Yes, that's what she was supposed to do. Be like Nanoha and make miracles and overcome any obstacle. Ever since that fateful day she had known what she wanted to be; her father and Ginga's involvement in the TSAB was merely reinforcing her desire to join as well.
Or maybe it was the other way around, Subaru couldn't tell. After all, she was wholly a failure and simply keeping track of which motivations came when was obviously beyond her.
Ginga was gone. She kept seeing her bloodied body being held up like a trophy. And for her efforts all Subaru had gotten was damage to her body and almost completely ruining her Devices... both the one that Nanoha trusted her with and her mother's right Revolver Knuckle. How pathetic was that, trying so hard and destroying oneself in the process?
She was worthless and pathetic. Relying on her cyborg nature so much, always trying to do things because they were cute or she liked them. That kind of thinking could get people killed on the battlefield, almost got her killed on the battlefield. And Teana had been the one yelled for it, driven to train and become better... and ultimately beaten down by Nanoha for something wholly not her fault.
Teana was so amazing. She worked for every advantage she had. She was just an ordinary person and yet she could do so much, come up with such amazing tactics without any kind of inspiration. No "holy cow, Guy! I like that move, so I'm gonna use it too!" shit. And she'd get even stronger too.
Dumb muscle. It was so obvious now to Subaru that that was all she was. And she couldn't even do that right.
[Subaru's also ended up becoming a resident of the GDF infirmary, and is barely more receptive than Asuka. Anyone who pays her a visit soon enough might notice a few wounds that reveal cybernetics under her skin, rather than flesh and bone. Everyone else will probably be left wondering why more mechanics are looking at her than doctors.]
Saving people. Yes, that's what she was supposed to do. Be like Nanoha and make miracles and overcome any obstacle. Ever since that fateful day she had known what she wanted to be; her father and Ginga's involvement in the TSAB was merely reinforcing her desire to join as well.
Or maybe it was the other way around, Subaru couldn't tell. After all, she was wholly a failure and simply keeping track of which motivations came when was obviously beyond her.
Ginga was gone. She kept seeing her bloodied body being held up like a trophy. And for her efforts all Subaru had gotten was damage to her body and almost completely ruining her Devices... both the one that Nanoha trusted her with and her mother's right Revolver Knuckle. How pathetic was that, trying so hard and destroying oneself in the process?
She was worthless and pathetic. Relying on her cyborg nature so much, always trying to do things because they were cute or she liked them. That kind of thinking could get people killed on the battlefield, almost got her killed on the battlefield. And Teana had been the one yelled for it, driven to train and become better... and ultimately beaten down by Nanoha for something wholly not her fault.
Teana was so amazing. She worked for every advantage she had. She was just an ordinary person and yet she could do so much, come up with such amazing tactics without any kind of inspiration. No "holy cow, Guy! I like that move, so I'm gonna use it too!" shit. And she'd get even stronger too.
Dumb muscle. It was so obvious now to Subaru that that was all she was. And she couldn't even do that right.
[Subaru's also ended up becoming a resident of the GDF infirmary, and is barely more receptive than Asuka. Anyone who pays her a visit soon enough might notice a few wounds that reveal cybernetics under her skin, rather than flesh and bone. Everyone else will probably be left wondering why more mechanics are looking at her than doctors.]