The Question Game
Last night, we played the question game again: Erik, Wesley, Allison, Amy, Brittany and Liz.
Erik's question
Allison goes back in time to kill Queen Cleopatra and take her place. How does this change history?
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Amy: Cleoson and Antony would fall in love and date, but because all boys are stupid, Antony would break Cleoson's heart. Cleoson would then convert the Lighthouse of Allisondria into a device which would kill all the men in the world. Cleoson would name herself Almazon Queen and live hapily ever after.
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Liz: Allison accidentally froze herself and, boob job notwithstanding, awoke a few hundred years in the future. Still jealous of Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt, Allison changed her name to Cleopatra and joined with 2 other women who were already fighting to survive. Against the Robots. Like in that show, Sex in the City.
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Allison: Well, she doesn't marry Antony, that's for sure, he was ugly. She marries one of her servants and has many children, which cannot rise to power because they are not considered legitimate. Allison and Stable Boys children spend years vying for power which ends in the empire being leveled to the ground while their parents sip cool drinks and watch from their balcony.
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Brittany: Well, Allison doesn't like snakes so instead of being bitten by a snake, she would have been chased by a sheep around the world until her feet fell off forever, making the human race fear these grass-eating pillow animals.
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Wesley: History is unaltered. Timelines must be internally consistent. Geeze, Erik, way to fuck up basic quantum temporal theory. Dumbass.
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Brittany's question
On my recent visit to Yosemite National Park, I fall off a cliff but manage to grab a vine. How do you help me? Author's note: The following was added after people were already writing: Also, there's a chipmunk staring at me and it's freaking me out.
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Allison: I tell you to not be afraid of the chipmunk. I call the entire park to help pull you back up. By the time they get there, you and Alvin are best friends. But unfortunately, you fell to your death 5 minutes earlier. Oops.
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Liz: After the discussion earlier about our God-powers, I become convinced that mine are real. I run to help you and manage to pull you off the vine which has nothing to do with my power, but that's not going to stop my growing God Complex. You thank me while simultaneously laughing at my powers. I, in turn, push you off the cliff. Serves you right, bitch.
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Amy: I walk up and peer of the edge and notice BT frantically swatting at the fat (very cute fat) chipmunks and pull out a rope which I have in my purse. I lower it down to her so she can climb up. She is almost to the top when I notice something glinting in the grass. I forget about BT and let go of the rope to investigate. BT falls about three feet and lands safely on the next ledge down, which she failed to notice due to the fat (very cute fat) chipmunks.
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Wesley: I fell several trees and construct a rudimentary cantilevered bridge structure out over the cliff in order to allow safe and efficient rescue operations to commence. And, as for the chipmunks, I point and laugh because chipmunks are funny.
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Erik: I would create a plan. I'd keep certain people from panicking, stop others from cutting the vine, send others to gather resources, and generally manage the situation. You will still probably die, but at least I tried.
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Allison's question
Liz and Wesley go to 7-11 to get snacks for tonight. They are arguing between doughnuts and pretzels. Which of them chooses which snack and what is their argument for why to get it?
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Brittany: Wesley would decide on the doughnuts. One, sugar, duh! Two, it would provide him with enough material to discuss some crap about black holes and other stuff I clearly wouldn't understand for hours on end. As I would make a face at him, he would warn me that if I wasn't careful, the center of the doughnut would swallow me up and blah, blah...you get the idea.
Liz would pick the pretzels because they are more aerodynamic so they would sufficiently hit Erik and give Team Wesley an edge over the party.
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Erik: Wesley wants pretzels. He likes pretzels and compliments the shop clerk obnoxiously on his selection of pretzels. Liz argues for doughnuts because we so rarely get doughnuts. Besides, Erik likes doughnuts and he's hosting. Furthermore, Wesley wants pretzels and, well, fuck him.
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Liz: Liz grabs something of everything because that way no one will be disappointed. Wesley doesn't want any of it, so he's unhelpful. This tale ends with what's called a "Liz Compromise" where Liz gathers one of everything and Wesley pays, much to his chagrin.
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Amy: They both want pretzels because Lucy's earrings make them salivate. No one likes doughnuts.
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Wesley: Wesley wants neither. Liz wants both. Wesley finally says "fine, get whatever you want." Liz purchases doughnuts, pretzels, chips, another kind of chips, three kinds of candy, a 12 pack of coke, a Slurpee, and a bag of sunflower seeds.
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Liz's question
Allison and Wesley are going on a road trip. Where do they go and what do they do?
Author's note: This question involved an argument about whether or not a road trip could extend overseas. When Liz tried to change the question to include the word "Vacation" she was yelled at, so the question remained unaltered.
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Wesley: Allison and Wesley road trip to somewhere not very far away because no matter the intended destination Allison gets bored and Wesley gets fed up with her and they turn back before they even reach, say, Colorado Springs.
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Amy: Wesley manages to convince Allison to help him build a spaceship because he wants to taste the wine on Venus. Once it was finished, the programmed in the coordinates and put themselves in a controlled sleep. They wake up and find themselves on Coruscant, which was Allison's plot all along because the mall there is epic.
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Erik: Harry Potter amusement park. Here is a re-enactment of their conversation discussing the trip.
Wesley: Where should we go?
Allison: Harry Potter Amusement Park!
Wesley: Well, that's nice, but why don't we go to Italy?
Allison: But, Harry Potter...
Wesley: Okay, fine, let's compromise. Where would we both like to go?
Allison Harry Potter!
Wesley: But I don't want-
Allison: HARRY POTTER!!!
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Allison: They go to Italy. To figure out how to get there, they consult Google, which leads them on a cross-country bus ride, swimming across the Atlantic and biking the rest of the way. When they get there, Allison is so annoyed and tired that she sleeps in the hotel for the whole vacation and gets mad at Wesley for seeing all the cathedrals and stuff without her. Goddamn you, Wesley!
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Brittany: Allison and Wes would start their trip out in Boulder, leaving the smelly city in a trail of dust (well, it really isn't dusty cuz really, we are in Colorado, but it's a figure of speech...at least, that's what people tell me). She sped off in her fancy white car cuz it's damn fancy!! They were on their way to North Dakota. Nobody really knows why, but I have reason to believe it was decided that no one ever goes there and the trees are lonely. However, on the way, Wes saw a sign for the largest yarn ball ever while in Kentucky (yeah, they got lost...I thought I'd add that part to make it more interesting). Wes yells at Allison over the loud music of some dude I don't know (but apparently, he's good) to pull over so he can take it to Amy so they can decorate all the lonely trees in North Dakota with scarves. All in all, they make it there safe and sound with scarves for all and a nifty pretzel necklace as part of the compromise.
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Amy's question
Amy dies. How?
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Allison: By knitting and walking at the same time. She tripped.
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Erik: The lights turn out. We hear a gun shot. Someone sighs. Then someone falls over. The lights come back on and Amy is on the floor, dead! Wesley stands up and says, "I know who did it! And I'll tell you how and why." Allison throw aside the blood-soaked knife in her hands and sputters "Wha-. How?" Brittany rushes outside screaming "I can't go back to jail! I can't! I won't!" Liz turns the gun in her hand on Wesley, "You won't know for much longer!" Erik backs out of the room, cautiously, slowly.
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Wesley: She was cooking and saw a sparkly. A boiling pot of water falls where her head was after she bends over to pick it up. Then, later, she is making clothing and she sees a sparkly. When she bends over to pick it up, the sewing machine explodes. Then, later, she is playing the violin and she sees a sparkly. She stop playing and bends over right as the death note was played, but she was then out of hearing range. Then, later, she is skipping down the street singing and she sees a sparkly. She stops to pick it up and is hit by a bus.
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Liz: Either Allison talked her to death about who's hotter, Book Harry Potter or Movie Harry Potter, or Wes talked her to death about...whatever. I'm not sure because I died, too.
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Brittany: Well, if some of you haven't noticed, Amy has a new purse, much to the disapproval of Suffelumpagus, a wild monster of black and purple yarn she once called her own. He was obsessed with his creator and seeing her love for that black monstrosity ripped his seams apart. He sat planning with a pair of recently knitted tube socks. The socks were told to force her to walk off a cliff. Only, Amy likes to wear sandals, so the socks lost their chance. But Amy's sandals got caught in a sewer cap and Amy, unable to move, was hit by an ice cream truck.
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Wesley's Question
I made up a new word, what is it and what does it mean? Author's note: It was made optional that it be used in a sentence as well.
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Brittany: Wesley: "Leprechaunjigglyjam Ladedada Shabam. Dude, how awesome would that be?"
Me: (Thinking) what the hell...lepro huda what? Probably something about leprechauns plotting against us by offering delicious tastiness to distract us. But, hey, knowing Wesley it's probably about bikes. (Out loud) "Yup, yup, just like yesterday."
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Liz: Platitude-Having the attitude of a platypus. And don't you dare tell him differently. Ex: Liz had had it with that bitch's Platitude, so Liz shot her.
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Allison: Westleyfication-The process by which an entity becomes Wesley-like. Ex: Once the clone had completely undergone its Westleyfication, Wesley was almost ready to take over the world. Just 999,999,999 left...
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Erik: Learnatorium-n. Place where one learns more of Wesley's stupid invented words. Ex: I wanted to kill myself after a trip to the Learnatorium.
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Amy: Vincherespictioleteple [vin-kuh-res-pic-tchod-ehtz-puhl] When asked what he did today, Wesley would be too tired from having thwarted the evil plot of Peeng-Pohng. He would summarize, then go to bed.
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Erik's question
Allison goes back in time to kill Queen Cleopatra and take her place. How does this change history?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amy: Cleoson and Antony would fall in love and date, but because all boys are stupid, Antony would break Cleoson's heart. Cleoson would then convert the Lighthouse of Allisondria into a device which would kill all the men in the world. Cleoson would name herself Almazon Queen and live hapily ever after.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz: Allison accidentally froze herself and, boob job notwithstanding, awoke a few hundred years in the future. Still jealous of Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt, Allison changed her name to Cleopatra and joined with 2 other women who were already fighting to survive. Against the Robots. Like in that show, Sex in the City.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allison: Well, she doesn't marry Antony, that's for sure, he was ugly. She marries one of her servants and has many children, which cannot rise to power because they are not considered legitimate. Allison and Stable Boys children spend years vying for power which ends in the empire being leveled to the ground while their parents sip cool drinks and watch from their balcony.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brittany: Well, Allison doesn't like snakes so instead of being bitten by a snake, she would have been chased by a sheep around the world until her feet fell off forever, making the human race fear these grass-eating pillow animals.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wesley: History is unaltered. Timelines must be internally consistent. Geeze, Erik, way to fuck up basic quantum temporal theory. Dumbass.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brittany's question
On my recent visit to Yosemite National Park, I fall off a cliff but manage to grab a vine. How do you help me? Author's note: The following was added after people were already writing: Also, there's a chipmunk staring at me and it's freaking me out.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allison: I tell you to not be afraid of the chipmunk. I call the entire park to help pull you back up. By the time they get there, you and Alvin are best friends. But unfortunately, you fell to your death 5 minutes earlier. Oops.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz: After the discussion earlier about our God-powers, I become convinced that mine are real. I run to help you and manage to pull you off the vine which has nothing to do with my power, but that's not going to stop my growing God Complex. You thank me while simultaneously laughing at my powers. I, in turn, push you off the cliff. Serves you right, bitch.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amy: I walk up and peer of the edge and notice BT frantically swatting at the fat (very cute fat) chipmunks and pull out a rope which I have in my purse. I lower it down to her so she can climb up. She is almost to the top when I notice something glinting in the grass. I forget about BT and let go of the rope to investigate. BT falls about three feet and lands safely on the next ledge down, which she failed to notice due to the fat (very cute fat) chipmunks.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wesley: I fell several trees and construct a rudimentary cantilevered bridge structure out over the cliff in order to allow safe and efficient rescue operations to commence. And, as for the chipmunks, I point and laugh because chipmunks are funny.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Erik: I would create a plan. I'd keep certain people from panicking, stop others from cutting the vine, send others to gather resources, and generally manage the situation. You will still probably die, but at least I tried.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allison's question
Liz and Wesley go to 7-11 to get snacks for tonight. They are arguing between doughnuts and pretzels. Which of them chooses which snack and what is their argument for why to get it?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brittany: Wesley would decide on the doughnuts. One, sugar, duh! Two, it would provide him with enough material to discuss some crap about black holes and other stuff I clearly wouldn't understand for hours on end. As I would make a face at him, he would warn me that if I wasn't careful, the center of the doughnut would swallow me up and blah, blah...you get the idea.
Liz would pick the pretzels because they are more aerodynamic so they would sufficiently hit Erik and give Team Wesley an edge over the party.
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Erik: Wesley wants pretzels. He likes pretzels and compliments the shop clerk obnoxiously on his selection of pretzels. Liz argues for doughnuts because we so rarely get doughnuts. Besides, Erik likes doughnuts and he's hosting. Furthermore, Wesley wants pretzels and, well, fuck him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz: Liz grabs something of everything because that way no one will be disappointed. Wesley doesn't want any of it, so he's unhelpful. This tale ends with what's called a "Liz Compromise" where Liz gathers one of everything and Wesley pays, much to his chagrin.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amy: They both want pretzels because Lucy's earrings make them salivate. No one likes doughnuts.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wesley: Wesley wants neither. Liz wants both. Wesley finally says "fine, get whatever you want." Liz purchases doughnuts, pretzels, chips, another kind of chips, three kinds of candy, a 12 pack of coke, a Slurpee, and a bag of sunflower seeds.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz's question
Allison and Wesley are going on a road trip. Where do they go and what do they do?
Author's note: This question involved an argument about whether or not a road trip could extend overseas. When Liz tried to change the question to include the word "Vacation" she was yelled at, so the question remained unaltered.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wesley: Allison and Wesley road trip to somewhere not very far away because no matter the intended destination Allison gets bored and Wesley gets fed up with her and they turn back before they even reach, say, Colorado Springs.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amy: Wesley manages to convince Allison to help him build a spaceship because he wants to taste the wine on Venus. Once it was finished, the programmed in the coordinates and put themselves in a controlled sleep. They wake up and find themselves on Coruscant, which was Allison's plot all along because the mall there is epic.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Erik: Harry Potter amusement park. Here is a re-enactment of their conversation discussing the trip.
Wesley: Where should we go?
Allison: Harry Potter Amusement Park!
Wesley: Well, that's nice, but why don't we go to Italy?
Allison: But, Harry Potter...
Wesley: Okay, fine, let's compromise. Where would we both like to go?
Allison Harry Potter!
Wesley: But I don't want-
Allison: HARRY POTTER!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allison: They go to Italy. To figure out how to get there, they consult Google, which leads them on a cross-country bus ride, swimming across the Atlantic and biking the rest of the way. When they get there, Allison is so annoyed and tired that she sleeps in the hotel for the whole vacation and gets mad at Wesley for seeing all the cathedrals and stuff without her. Goddamn you, Wesley!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brittany: Allison and Wes would start their trip out in Boulder, leaving the smelly city in a trail of dust (well, it really isn't dusty cuz really, we are in Colorado, but it's a figure of speech...at least, that's what people tell me). She sped off in her fancy white car cuz it's damn fancy!! They were on their way to North Dakota. Nobody really knows why, but I have reason to believe it was decided that no one ever goes there and the trees are lonely. However, on the way, Wes saw a sign for the largest yarn ball ever while in Kentucky (yeah, they got lost...I thought I'd add that part to make it more interesting). Wes yells at Allison over the loud music of some dude I don't know (but apparently, he's good) to pull over so he can take it to Amy so they can decorate all the lonely trees in North Dakota with scarves. All in all, they make it there safe and sound with scarves for all and a nifty pretzel necklace as part of the compromise.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amy's question
Amy dies. How?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allison: By knitting and walking at the same time. She tripped.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Erik: The lights turn out. We hear a gun shot. Someone sighs. Then someone falls over. The lights come back on and Amy is on the floor, dead! Wesley stands up and says, "I know who did it! And I'll tell you how and why." Allison throw aside the blood-soaked knife in her hands and sputters "Wha-. How?" Brittany rushes outside screaming "I can't go back to jail! I can't! I won't!" Liz turns the gun in her hand on Wesley, "You won't know for much longer!" Erik backs out of the room, cautiously, slowly.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wesley: She was cooking and saw a sparkly. A boiling pot of water falls where her head was after she bends over to pick it up. Then, later, she is making clothing and she sees a sparkly. When she bends over to pick it up, the sewing machine explodes. Then, later, she is playing the violin and she sees a sparkly. She stop playing and bends over right as the death note was played, but she was then out of hearing range. Then, later, she is skipping down the street singing and she sees a sparkly. She stops to pick it up and is hit by a bus.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz: Either Allison talked her to death about who's hotter, Book Harry Potter or Movie Harry Potter, or Wes talked her to death about...whatever. I'm not sure because I died, too.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brittany: Well, if some of you haven't noticed, Amy has a new purse, much to the disapproval of Suffelumpagus, a wild monster of black and purple yarn she once called her own. He was obsessed with his creator and seeing her love for that black monstrosity ripped his seams apart. He sat planning with a pair of recently knitted tube socks. The socks were told to force her to walk off a cliff. Only, Amy likes to wear sandals, so the socks lost their chance. But Amy's sandals got caught in a sewer cap and Amy, unable to move, was hit by an ice cream truck.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wesley's Question
I made up a new word, what is it and what does it mean? Author's note: It was made optional that it be used in a sentence as well.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brittany: Wesley: "Leprechaunjigglyjam Ladedada Shabam. Dude, how awesome would that be?"
Me: (Thinking) what the hell...lepro huda what? Probably something about leprechauns plotting against us by offering delicious tastiness to distract us. But, hey, knowing Wesley it's probably about bikes. (Out loud) "Yup, yup, just like yesterday."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Liz: Platitude-Having the attitude of a platypus. And don't you dare tell him differently. Ex: Liz had had it with that bitch's Platitude, so Liz shot her.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Allison: Westleyfication-The process by which an entity becomes Wesley-like. Ex: Once the clone had completely undergone its Westleyfication, Wesley was almost ready to take over the world. Just 999,999,999 left...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Erik: Learnatorium-n. Place where one learns more of Wesley's stupid invented words. Ex: I wanted to kill myself after a trip to the Learnatorium.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amy: Vincherespictioleteple [vin-kuh-res-pic-tchod-ehtz-puhl] When asked what he did today, Wesley would be too tired from having thwarted the evil plot of Peeng-Pohng. He would summarize, then go to bed.
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