CHINESE PROVERBS FOR A NEW YEAR
My Auntie has struck again! LOL! Man, I shouldn't read her emails when I'm soooooo tired.....
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Man who run in front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife
upright organ.
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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going
to Bangkok.
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Man with one chopstick go hungry.
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Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
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Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
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Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best
thing on earth.
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War does not determine who is right, war determine who
is left.
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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat
house.
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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
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It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to
fill it.
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Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in
basement.
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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
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Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
10 Things Men Won't Say:
1. Let's watch Lifetime!
2. Sex is overrated.
3. I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4. Yes, I did notice your sister's breasts are bigger than yours.
5. There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book.
6. I'm glad I don't have a large penis.
7. My hips are too big.
8. Aw, can't we watch Oprah?
9. Does this suit make me look fat?
10. I'll never get tired listening to Celine Dion.
SMART PATROL
NOWHERE TO GO
SUBURBAN ROBOTS THAT MONITOR REALITY
COMMON STOCK
WE WORK AROUND THE CLOCK
WE SHOVE THE POLES IN THE HOLES
NOW WAIT A MINUTE
SOMETHING'S WRONG
HE'S A MAN WITH A PLAN
HIS FINGER IS POINTED AT DEVO
NOW WE MUST SACRIFICE OURSELVES
THAT MANY OTHERS MAY LIVE
OK WE'VE GOT A LOT TO GIVE
THIS MONKEY WANTS A WORD WITH YOU