I was raised mostly by my grandmother who is a strong catholic. She's never been one to strongly judge or talk about it so openly. For a long time I didn't believe in a God because of the life I had, I thought why would any loving God give a honest person such a fucked up life, as I've told you before I had a really bad up bringing, and in my younger teens I attempted to go to many christian churches and some were really bad and hypercritical* even most were so loud. I stopped for a long time and gave up and thought the same as you "its just not for me
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i liked this entry... i remember the pool, i remember nodding off in church with you, n i love the idea of a shoe that doesnt fit. its a flawless way of putting it. u know me, i was always searching thru spirituality. i was always searching for "god" in many different forms. almost like there was a peice of me that was missing. about a year ago i realized that i had always had "god"... i just didnt have me. that was the part i was missing. i never really loved myself or had respect for myself. i found it easier to feel that way towards a higher power. something i couldnt touch, see, or know completely. but to look in the mirror and smile was impossible. ha! n people thought i was cocky!lol. im workin on the me part now. my spirituality helps, because it reminds me of the beauty in the world, that includes myself. im glad you opend the door!
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but that's just me.
hugs and kisses!
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about a year ago i realized that i had always had "god"... i just didnt have me. that was the part i was missing. i never really loved myself or had respect for myself. i found it easier to feel that way towards a higher power. something i couldnt touch, see, or know completely. but to look in the mirror and smile was impossible. ha! n people thought i was cocky!lol.
im workin on the me part now. my spirituality helps, because it reminds me of the beauty in the world, that includes myself.
im glad you opend the door!
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