PS

Jan 08, 2009 09:23

Mood is doing better... But I still would appreciate if anyone wants to know why I'm whatever, they talk to me instead of halaku. I've had to deal with a lot of backstabbing over the last three years, and that's part of what cause a lot of my mental issues... I realize you folks care about me, but in my eyes (which *is* what's important, right?) all you're doing is talking about me behind my back. And that just sets me off. Trust me, if I'm in a mood where I feel like I might snap on you... I'll be honest about it up front, but you have to approach me to know.

And, yes, halaku will be able to tell you what's bothering me a lot of times... And I care about him dearly, but its my place if I want my mental state discussed with anyone else... I've been broken down to the point where I can not reach out on my own... And so a lot of times, I'll feel like I'm an outsider looking in, wishing I could join in the fun, but never able to bring myself to try and join in.

But its very simple... If you want to know, talk to me. Not halaku, not anyone else.... Me. There may be things I don't tell him or anyone else that I might tell you. Heck, I think I've told istarisilver things about me that I haven't told halaku even. But I am not that unapproachable, even if I may act like it sometimes... I'm actually a rather shy person sometimes until I feel comfortable talking to some people... And if my mental state is not where it needs to be, it only makes it worse.
Previous post Next post
Up