The Window: Chapter 10...

[silvershiner]

Title: The Window
By: Silvershine

Pairing: KakaSaku
Rating: M/R/NC-17
Warnings:  Soggy Golems...

Window

Chapter Ten

The wine was the color of blood. Was it poisoned? Or was it just drugged? He brought the cup to his lips and tipped it back, pretending to take a sip and watched the tiniest hint of relief pass over her face.
She was transparent. Even as he

Comments

[water_faerie]

HORRAY! 'nuff said.

[jade_sabre_301]

...and release!

enjoyable, as always.

just one note..."Please make love to me" perhaps? Same typo exists in the ff.net version.

[zaila]

This chapter was just WOW! I especially liked Kakashi's fantasies/day-dreams and when Sakura was in the genjustu facing her fears. Arg! And the cliffhanger! NOOO!

But as I've been reading your stories, I notice that you have quite a few missing words, and/or spelling and grammar mistakes. For instance:

- In a way it took the fun out teaching when Should be "fun out of teaching"
- The chance of her agreeing to that were pretty Could be something more like "The chances of her agreeing..." or "The chance of her agreeing to that was pretty..."
- but it only served to infuriate even more. "infuriate her even"
- such innocent hope, Kakashi almost wanted to kick himself. "...hope, that Kakashi..."
- He reached up and ghostly a finger against Perhaps it should say, "ghosted a finger" or "ghostly ran a finger".
- only outward sign of her nervously was the rapid "nervousness, was"
- When Sakura opened her eyes, she was still swamped on darkness. Maybe "swamped in darkness"?
- Thank god. God should have a capital.
- “Someone used on you, didn’

[silvershiner]

Thanks, I've gone and corrected most of those. :3

This is what I get for being half asleep when proofing.

[kagero_zettai]

Yay!!!!

[togu]

oh please have them do it in the next chapter.. If kakashi says no because he needs to see Ayame, then I will personally kick your online ass! ;P