The Window: Chapter 15 (part 2)...

[silvershiner]

Title: The Window
By: Silvershine

Pairing: KakaSaku
Rating: M/R/NC-17
Warnings:  Greasy chopsticks...

He was there, sitting at the ramen bar, guzzling noodles so fast it was hard to imagine how he didn’t choke. Hinata froze on the spot, biting her lip. What to say? She so badly wanted to be like one of the other girls - like Sakura - who could walk over and strike up conversation so easily without thinking about it. She wanted to call out his name, but what if he didn’t hear her? What if she called his name and he just carried on eating and she remained stood there like a fool with everyone staring at her?
And just when her courage was winding down and she realized she was going to turn around and keep walking, Naruto sat up straighter and twizzled around in his seat to find out the source of that feeling - not quite killing intent - but something equally powerful aimed at him. He spotted Hinata staring depressively at the ground.

“Hina’a-‘an!” he called around his mouthful of noodles and vegetables, waving enthusiastically.

Hinata looked up and suddenly felt quite boneless. And red. Very red too. “H-H-Hello, Naruto-kun.”

“You’re up really early this morning!” he said cheerfully. “Where are you going?”

“Um… I-I was just…”

“Want to have some ramen?” he asked, patting the empty stool beside him. “Come on, sit down.”

It was easier when he just told her what to do. Hinata flushed happily and carefully slid into the booth and onto the stool beside Naruto. She was painfully aware of his mass beside her, his warmth, his spicy odor, and the way his elbow bumped hers. In truth she’d already had breakfast, but she couldn’t, just couldn’t pass up this opportunity and excuse to sit next to him and once again keep on hoping that this time she would have the courage to say something or he would perhaps say it for her. But neither was likely to happen, and for a moment she swallowed a sad sigh.

Why was this so hard? How did other people make it look so easy when in truth this was the scariest and most difficult interaction of them all? How could Sakura so easily touch her sensei’s hair and face while Hinata felt dangerous palpitations at even the most unwitting brush of Naruto’s elbow against her arm?

“Are you ok?” Naruto asked, noticing her downcast gaze and silence.

“Oh, um, yes,” she said quietly. “I’m fine, thank you.”

“You look like something’s bothering you,” he observed.

Many things were bothering Hinata, but she was forbidden to speak of one and too terrified to speak of the other. Actually, she was a bit terrified to speak of the first too, because that ‘something’ concerned two of Naruto’s teammates, one of which she knew he crushed on, or at least had crushed on, and he undoubtedly wouldn’t be happy to learn of that ‘something’.

“You look like Sakura,” he said, turning back to shoveling more ramen into his mouth. “She’s been so down for ages now. Until recently. She seems to have perked up since Kakashi-sensei came back, you know?”

Hinata’s breath hitched with a squeak. Naruto looked at her, but he seemed to dismiss it as one of her peculiarities.

“You’re a girl,” he said, “and girls talk, right? Do you know what was bothering Sakura? I have a feeling it was this mystery boyfriend of hers that everyone says she has but she denies having. Do you know who it is? ‘Cuz she has this weird habit of picking complete losers and we’re kinda worried that she might have picked a really bad one this time.”

“I - well, he’s not a complete loser,” Hinata stammered, thinking of Kakashi-sensei. Until she’d found Shizune with those panties, she’d quite admired him as both a seemingly kind person and a strong leader. Now she wasn’t sure what to think.

Only now Naruto was choking on his ramen and thumping the table. “Y-You know!” he spluttered. “You know who it is!”

Hinata stared at him, horrified. “I didn’t… I mean… I don’t know…!” She hadn’t expected this kind of reaction. She’d only been seeking to reassure him that Sakura’s lover was not all that bad, or at least not as bad as previous lovers, but she’d wound up under the spotlight instead.

“Who is it?” Naruto demanded, forgetting his food which meant he could only be deadly serious.

“I - um-”

“Is it someone we know?”

Hinata shrunk in her seat. “I… um…”

“It is, isn’t it?” Naruto smacked his fist into his palm. “I knew it. Who is it? Is it Lee? Is it Sasuke? Kiba? Neji? Shino? Oh hell, it’s not that creepy guy from the grocery store that stares at her like Orochimaru just revived him from the dead-”

“N-No,” Hinata shook her head. She didn’t want to say. She didn’t want to be questioned. But if this kept up he would simply list all the men he knew and eventually he would probably come to Kakashi-sensei, and then Hinata wouldn’t be able to stop herself tensing up, and then he would know!

“Well, who could it be?” he pestered. Is he a chunin? A jonin? You twitched - does that mean he’s a jonin? I don’t know so many jonin…”

“N-Naruto-kun!” Hinata burst out, hot-faced and faintly angry. “I-It really isn’t any of your business. If Sakura-san w-wanted you to know she w-would have told you. Please! Don’t ask me any more questions. I cannot answer.”

He looked at her, looking almost as surprised as she felt at her angry little outburst. Immediately she wilted, wondering if he’d get angry too and hate her.

But instead he smiled. “Ok, Hinata-chan,” he said, looking a little pink with embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Would you like some ramen?”

“Yes, please,” she said weakly, her short burst of anger having probably burnt up a lot of her energy.

He laughed and helped her order.

Kakashi awoke several times in the night, which probably had more to do with the fact he was sleeping in a strange bed than because he was suffering any discomfort. On the contrary, he was very comfortable. Sakura’s bed was ridiculously comfortable (almost too comfortable for any self-respecting ninja) and her covers were soft and smelled faintly of the perfume she usually wore. The girl in question slept curled up next to him, sleeping soundly with her hand on his chest like she was determined to keep track of him even when unconscious.
It surprised him that she hadn’t shone a light in his eyes and given him a third-degree interrogation by now. They had quite conclusively broken things off about a week ago, but it seemed she didn’t want or need to question why he had come back. Perhaps she had missed him and was simply happy to have him?

Perhaps she was just biding her time…?

Whatever was happening, Kakashi didn’t want to question it. He was happy and the Itch was once more content now that he was back with the person it had craved. It felt right to have her here with him, sleeping so close and so trustingly. He didn’t want to cloud and complicate this moment with awkward talk about ‘tomorrow’ and depressing questions about the morality of this relationship… not when all he wanted was so simple.

The last time he woke up, it was because the alarm clock went off. The unfamiliar jingle startled him out of his wonderful dream about a whole Library full of a million new Icha Icha books, and immediately smacked the damn device repeatedly until it shut up. A feminine giggle diverted his attention, and for the first time he realized that Sakura was no longer beside him. Blinking, he found her sitting halfway down the bed with the sheets twisted around her lap and her elbow propped on the windowsill. She was enjoying what looked like a pot of yogurt.

Thank god she hadn’t gotten round to putting clothes on yet.

“Good morning,” she said sweetly, her own eyes raking over him just as gratuitously as he looked at her.

“Breakfast?” he grunted.

She nodded and licked her spoon nonchalantly. Kakashi was sure he’d seen a porn like this once.

“Are you pregnant?” he asked suddenly.

She gave him a dirty look. “You think I don’t know how to take my own birth control? Do I look pregnant to you?”

“I don’t know.” Maybe it was the morning light from the window, or the afterglow from a long night of slow, luxurious sex to make up for the lost week, but…. “You just seem to be glowing more than usual.”

She held up her yogurt pot. “It’s bio-yogurt, I guess…?” she said vaguely. “With strawberry.”

Kakashi saw her take another mouthful of the pink, creamy substance and watched as her tongue caressed the spoon like a lover. The more he looked, the more hungry he grew, and it wasn’t entirely of the food-related variety. “Can I have some yogurt too?” he asked.

“No,” she said shortly. “This was the last one.”

“Can I have some of your yogurt?”

“No.”

“Just a little bit?”

She moved the spoon out of her mouth slowly, taunting him. “Mmm… nope.” Then she laughed when he didn’t quite manage to succeed in nonchalantly propping his knee up to hide the sudden tenting effect that was going on down there. “Do you really like yogurt that much?” she teased.

“Not as much as other things,” he admitted.

“Well,” she said slowly, giving him a playful look. “You can have some of my yogurt… but you’ll have to come and get it.” And with that she dipped her spoon in the pot and then proceeded the drag it across her own chest.

Who was he to argue?

They both laughed as he dutifully dragged her back underneath him, his tongue following whatever trail her spoon left, until laughter eventually turned to moans and they forgot about the yogurt, and the time and where they were.

Sakura lay against him in the aftermath, small, warm and clingy. There was nothing quite like the feeling of post-coital lethargy, and Kakashi would argue that sometimes it was better than the actual act itself. He hated to think of himself as a cuddler - it sounded incredibly weak and needy. Instead he preferred to think of himself as liking his own space - but open to a cuddle if it was going. The fact that Sakura didn’t seem to care for leaving any space between them at times like this suited him fine, because it had been a long time since he’s ever taken a woman to bed who didn’t roll away from him the moment orgasm was over, if not get up and leave entirely. The only good thing about those relationships was that they had been uncomplicated.

This one, however…

The girl pressed against his side sighed as she traced a short, smooth fingernail gently around one of his nipples. Then into the contented silent, she spoke the words he’d been dreading since last night. “What now…?”

Kakashi didn’t answer. He didn’t want to, because he was trying so hard not to think about it.

She lifted her head and rested her chin on his shoulder to regard him. “Kakashi,” she cajoled. “What happens now?”

“What else?” he replied simply. “We get breakfast.”

She hesitated, because that probably wasn’t the answer she’d wanted. But after a moment she seemed to decide to go along with it. “I don’t have any food left,” she warned.

“Then we’ll go out.”

She blinked at him. “Like a date?”

“No… like breakfast.”

Green eyes watched him uncertainly, laced with hesitance, but then she smiled slowly, almost shyly. “Alright,” she said softly.

“But first,” he said, pushing the twisted sheets off, “showers, I think?”

Sakura wasn’t sure what to make of Kakashi today. He was so very much a private man who liked to eat alone, read alone and probably liked to sleep alone… if it wasn’t for the inescapable fact that he was, after all, a man.
Before he’d left for that mission, all that had been offered was sex, and Sakura knew that had been part of the problem. She’d gone to him for sex, gotten exactly what she’d wanted and then come away wondering why it still didn’t feel right. But now he had come to her, and not only was it the first time that she was the one doing the offering and he the taking, but now he was taking her out to breakfast.

He said it wasn’t a date, but it was as good as. He’d never taken her anywhere, and likewise she had never taken him anywhere. What lay between them until this morning had been virtually limited to the bedroom, but now it was out of the bedroom, leaving the apartment and out on the street. He was taking her to breakfast, and you didn’t do that with people you fucked and didn’t care about… it meant he had to like her, even if it was just a little, to be willing to spend time in her company during something so innocuously casual as breakfast.

Sakura didn’t know what to make of that.

There was no hand holding, but then Sakura wouldn’t have expected it anyway. Holding hands was what he probably thought soppy teenagers did when they thought they were in love - like Sakura and her previous boyfriends. Kakashi was too old (sort of), too serious (mostly), and too socially awkward (he made Jiraiya, a hermit, look like a social butterfly) to be holding hands with a lover. He treated her like a friend and nothing less, and he wouldn’t demean her to the role of ‘little woman’ to hang on his arm and look pretty, even if they were free to act that way in public. If Sakura had learnt anything about Kakashi in recent times, it was that he was not the kind of man who sought women to flaunt. Sex, and everything revolving around that, was private.

She sent him a sideways look as they drifted alongside the early morning crowds towards the food district. He seemed to sense it immediately and glanced down at her, to which Sakura gave a deceptive smile. “You’re a very strange man,” she told him.

He looked ahead thoughtfully, touching his chin. “You’d be surprised how often that’s been said to me over the course of my life…”

“No, I wouldn’t,” she said breezily, walking as close to him as she dared. “If we’re going to eat out, does this mean you’re going to take your mask off?”

He gave her a bewildered look. “Sakura, you’ve seen my face before.” Any many other parts of him too.

“No, I mean… do you often do this? Do you often eat out in public and take your mask down in a place like this?” she asked, looking around the fairly busy street that was lined with restaurants, closed bars and steaming noodle shops.

“Yes,” he said simply. “Quite often. Is that a problem?”

“You’re ok with people seeing your face?” she asked.

“Of course.” He seemed confused. “Shouldn’t I be? Is there something horribly wrong with it?” He lifted a hand to touch his mask in what could have been either genuine or feigned self-consciousness. It was hard to tell sometimes.

“Well, how come you never showed your face to us then?” she demanded.

“Us?” he repeated.

“Us! Me, Naruto and Sasuke! Your team!”

“Oh…” He scratched his head. “It’s not like I’m deliberately hiding it, though it’s not like any of you have ever asked me to take it off before either. I’m sure you guys have seen it a few times over the years?

She shook her head. “The first time I ever saw it was that morning when I… when you…” Sakura felt herself turn red. “You know - with that woman in your bed. And I’m pretty sure Naruto and Sasuke have yet to see it. I thought you might only reveal it to people you slept with.”

“Well, that would be bad news for Naruto and Sasuke, wouldn’t it?”

She smirked. “Actually, they’re so desperate I’m sure they’d go to any length to-”

“This looks like a nice place,” Kakashi said loudly, over-talking her and narrowly saving his soul from any disastrous imaginings. “Let’s eat here.”

It was a red lantern restaurant set virtually on the side of the street like Ichiraku Ramen, and had this really been a date, Sakura would have been greatly put out. But since it was only breakfast, she followed him between the wide gap in the red canvas screens and took her seat at the counter. Everything was just a little bit greasy - the counter, the chopsticks, the walls, the lights, and especially the cooks, but Kakashi assured her that the food was good.

“Do you eat here often?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said, without elaborating much beyond that. “You’ll also be glad to hear it’s pretty cheap.”

“Why should I be glad of that?” she asked smartly. “You’re paying.”

“This isn’t a date,” he repeated.

“It doesn’t matter. Gentlemen pay for meals whether they are dates or not,” she said, fixing him with a stare. “Are you not a gentleman?”

He held her gaze for a moment, and she felt herself heat under the intensity and innuendo until she had to look away. Well that answered that question. “Menu, please!” she squeaked to the master behind the counter who wordlessly handed two over.

“I’ll have the rice and miso soup,” she told the man, who bellowed the order to the cooks behind him.

“The same as well, thanks,” Kakashi said, “And maybe some tamagoyaki? Pickles would be nice too? And some grilled aji? Do you have any natto left? Great, yeah, I’ll have some of that too. With nori.”

“Hungry?” Sakura asked archly.

“Didn’t I say?”

“I’m not paying for all of this,” she reminded him.

“Won’t you spare a kind thought for your poor skint teacher-”

“You are not skint,” she hissed. “You bought me a Suzuki dress last week on a whim.”

“Ah,” he hummed, caught in a fib. “But I had to sell most of my belongings to cover it.”

Sakura wasn’t fooled, but she smiled to think of that dress. “I wish someone else had a formal party,” she sighed. “I haven’t really had an excuse to wear it again and it’s just hanging there in my wardrobe looking neglected.”

“Who needs an excuse?” He gave her a shrug.

“I do,” she retorted. “I can’t just wear it whenever I want - it’s too good and I’d look ridiculous-”

“No, you’d look beautiful,” he murmured, and he said is absently and matter-of-factly that Sakura felt that feeling in her chest grow warm again. “But perhaps a little overdressed, yes,” he amended. “Perhaps you should try badgering someone into getting married?”

“Badger someone into a lifelong commitment? Just so I can wear a dress?” she asked incredulously.

He nodded.

Sakura twiddled her sticks together, her gaze growing distant. “That’s a really good idea…”

The food arrived, and as they tucked in, Sakura had to admit to herself that it was rather tasty. But she must have only taken two mouthfuls of her soup before she glanced over at Kakashi and saw that he had already demolished nearly half of his share. She stared at him. He paused and glanced over at her quizzically, his mask around his neck and several specks of rice on his cheek and chin.

“This explains an awful lot, though,” she mused, taking up her napkin to wipe his face.

“What does?”

She ignored the question. “Have you ever heard of table manners? You’ll choke to death if you eat so fast.”

“I figured out at quite a young age how to eat and not die,” he said dryly.

“Barely, by the looks of it,” she teased.

And despite her assuages to slow down, he hared through breakfast so fast that by the time Sakura was only halfway through her meal, Kakashi had finished and was setting his empty bowl of rice down on the counter with a bang (which could either have been the sound of porcelain hitting the wood, or the sound barrier breaking).

She gave him an amused look as he replaced his mask and tented his fingers thoughtfully in front of his face. If he didn’t have indigestion right now, there was no justice in the world.

But it seemed his thoughts hadn’t been on his digestive track. “If I’d passed you during the review,” he said slowly. “Would you have gone on that mission with me?”

Sakura’s chopsticks clicked against her bowl as she faltered, wondering where the hell that question had come from, but not entirely surprised at it either. Was she supposed to feel touched that the thought of her death was eating at him, or annoyed that he was determined to blame himself for something that hadn’t happened. “No,” she replied shortly, choosing annoyance. “I did want to break things off because of that review, but not because you failed me. It was because the moment I walked into that room and saw you sitting there, I realized it was a mistake. Whichever way you went, it didn’t matter at that point. Of course, I was more annoyed you failed me… but even if you passed me, I think I would have realized eventually that I had to stay here.”

She stopped and thought back. There had been a very good reason why she wanted to break things off then, hadn’t there? And yet here they were again, still sleeping together, and even going out on a breakfast date. The reasons were still there, lined around them like spikes that would cut them the moment one foot stepped wrong, but something had changed last night.

“Why did you come over?” she asked quietly.

He gave a soft, caustic laugh and propped his elbows on the counter. “I had no where else to be,” he mimed.

And if he meant what Sakura meant every time she had said that, then the truth was… he didn’t know. He simply had wanted to see her. She’d felt that much in the way he’d touched her and the way he’d all but mated with her on the floor like it was their right to each other.

Now that was a scary thought.

This was only meant to be a fling. Something to set right a wrong and something that was supposed to end with no strings attached. Even though the parameters of this relationship had never been laid down, it had been unspoken that this was how it was meant to be. Only now they were hear, and things that needed to be said were still lying unspoken… and Sakura didn’t know what to say.

“When’s your next mission?” she asked, forcing the conversation on as it threatened to stagnate around this difficult point.

He made a vague gesture with his hand. “I’ve passed off most of them. I think I’ll linger around Konoha for a while,” he said.

Sakura looked at him sharply. “Do you think that’s wise?”

“Under the circumstances… yes.”

So he was going to let one failed mission shake his self-confidence? Sakura frowned but she said decided not to object. If his confidence had deserted him, perhaps it really was best to stay away from high class missions where doubt and hesitation could lead to fatal mistakes? Still… “It wasn’t your fault,” she said softly, resuming her breakfast.

“You weren’t there,” he pointed out.

“No, but I know you,” she said, shrugging. “No one would die on your account if it wasn’t completely unavoidable.”

She was aware that he was watching her, but she pretended not to notice and carried on sipping her soup. As she blew on her spoon, a warm hand touched her thigh and she paused to glance at Kakashi questioningly.

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

“For what?” she asked confused, and a little worried that someone might look over and seeing him touching her in this ‘inappropriate’ manner.

He smiled. “For believing in me.”

“It’s not that hard,” she said, flustered. “I just wish you did too.”

He gave her leg a squeeze and sighed, but it didn’t seem to be an unhappy one. It was the sigh of a man shaking something off his shoulders. Somewhere in the street outside a commotion seemed to have picked up, and Sakura wondered if someone had dashed out on a bill. When Kakashi stood up, Sakura wondered if he was about to do the same, but when he began rummaging around his pocket for change she relaxed. “I have to go,” he said apologetically. “I have a check-up at the hospital and you know how Tsunade is when you’re late.”

“That’s never stopped you before,” she pointed out.

“I know. That’s why I’m already late,” he said pleasantly. And as the commotion outside grew louder, Kakashi placed some money on the counter. “That should cover my half.”

“You bastard!”

Kakashi turned and the next thing Sakura knew, there was a loud smack, empty bowls, stools and a dispenser of chopsticks went flying, and Kakashi was on the floor, holding a hand to his jaw. Bewildered, Sakura jumped out of her seat and gaped at his assailant: Naruto, whose expression could be described as nothing short of murder.

But the moment comprehension dawned on Sakura, his expression was nothing compared to hers. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” she shrieked.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” he shot back, just as angry. “With him?!”

Hinata came hurrying up behind, looking upset. “Naruto-kun, please! Don’t do this!” she fretted.

All around them things had gone very quiet. People looked up from their food and outside people had stopped in the street to peer at the developing drama. All of a sudden Sakura felt very cold. It was all beginning to unravel right here and now with so many witnesses. “What are you all looking at!” she snarled at the bystanders, but it only frightened away one or two so she stooped to help Kakashi up.

“Don’t you touch him!” Naruto made another threatening step forward.

“Or what?” She planned to ignore him, but Kakashi held up a hand to politely refuse her help.

“It’s ok,” Kakashi said, sitting up and brushing some of the fall sticks off his lap. “Is there a problem, Naruto?” he asked with deceptive calm.

“It was you all along!” Naruto yelled. “That sick rumor was about you!”

Someone was pushing their way out of the crowd on the street, and Sakura didn’t know whether to be happy to see Shiranui Genma moving forward to intervene. As an examiner he was probably a natural mediator, but Sakura knew that his arrival only signaled that the quagmire of ‘oh shit’ was only spreading wider. “What’s going on here?” he asked with a scowl, looking from Naruto to Kakashi.

“Him!” Naruto jabbed a finger at Kakashi. “He’s the one fucking his student! He’s the one sleeping with Sakura-chan!”

There was a broken note of hurt in his voice, and Sakura heard it, but right then she didn’t care. “Naruto!” she hissed. “How could you!”

Genma looked at Sakura, surprisingly indifferent to such a claim. “Is it true?”

“No!” she vehemently denied.

“Don’t lie!” Naruto bellowed. “I saw you!”

“Stop it!” she screamed back.

Genma held up his hand for silence. “Is it true?” he asked Kakashi, who was climbing to his feet again.

Kakashi sighed and gave Naruto a level look. “Yes, it’s true.”

Pandemonium broke loose again.

Naruto surged forward again, aiming another punch. “You bastard!” At the same time, Sakura lunged, aiming to tear her teammates throat out. “Don’t you dare!” Genma caught Naruto around the chest and Kakashi hauled Sakura back by the waist, and while both teens struggled, Hinata weepily apologized to no one in particular.

“Get your hands off her!” Naruto yelled at Kakashi, not seeming to care that his teacher was the only thing stopping Sakura from ripping his head off. “You filthy pervert!”

“Shut up, Naruto!” Sakura snarled. “You know nothing!”

The gathered crowd was getting thicker. New people were arriving, along with familiar faces.

“What’s going on?” Ino and the rest of her team were pushing their way forward. And was that a shell-shocked Iruka-sensei standing near the back? So many faces she knew and didn’t know were looking on at them with a mixture of expressions ranging from humor, to disgust, to grim curiosity. Each of them knew, and there was no getting this cat back in its bag.

Sakura’s struggles slowly died as the sheer enormity of what was happening threatened to crush her. She looked at Naruto, and all she saw was hate and anger and whole lot of hurt. And Ino, having extracted information from one of the other bystanders was now looking at her with a mixture of shock and disapproval.

Everything she had feared - hurting Naruto, being scorned, knowing that things would never be the same again - it was all staring her in the face.

“I think,” Genma began as he quelled Naruto’s struggles sharply with a hard tug on his hair, “it’s time we informed the Hokage, don’t you?”