The O.C. Fic: Ways of Seeing, Or; The Once and Future Cohen
I can't quite believe that I've a) manage to post two posts in two days and more importantly b) my fic for The O.C. Dialogue Challenge is complete. I think I was bound to write a fic like this one day, and some of the basic plot has been bouncing around in my head since day one, so I hope you like it.
~~~
Title: Ways of Seeing; Or, The Once and Future Cohen
Fandom: The O.C.
Rating / Genre: PG-13, Gen, possible humour. It depends on how endearing you find me.
Words: 5381
Spoilers: The whole series.
Disclaimer/ Schmoopy Dedication: The O.C. is property of Fox. Written for 60schic's marvellously duplicitous prompt for The O.C. Dialogue Challenge 2007. It took the longest imaginable time to find the right way to tell this story, so I very, very much hope that you like it.
Summary: "How can one person make such an unbelievable mess?"
~~~
"It's just…This is just so strange for an old guy like me. Two years, ten years after, I never thought I'd be here."
"Yeah," Ryan said, glancing sideways for a second, "Tell me about it."
"Who I was, what I was, Ryan, I'm not that person anymore-"
"- I know, Dad."
"But sometimes, I get this feeling nesting in my gut and I can't shake it... What if after everything- What if I'm still not ready?"
~~~
Don't get excited, we're not going to kick off with a heart to heart between Frank and Ryan. I mean we never saw one before, least ways not the Big Talk we were all rooting for, so you know you don't get those scenes right out the gate, you have to earn these things. Bear with me, we'll get there. But first, let's set the scene.
It's Chrismukkah, 2008, our favourite fictional holiday (though apparently not Seth Cohen's. Who knew?). The snow's coming down, but only fake snow from cans, because this is Berkeley after all, blessed with a favourable climate and good people. This story is about the birth of one of them.
~~~
It was at the exact moment that he found himself looking up between the legs of a woman who had spent a good proportion of their early acquaintance trying to have him arrested, banished and possibly even publicly lynched, that Ryan Atwood decided to drop his philosophy minor. Existence was debatable, experience was random and life clearly had an over-developed sense of irony. As far as Ryan was concerned, if Wittgenstein, Nietzsche, Gettier and a whole other bunch of intelligent and articulate dead white guys hadn't managed to condense the whole shebang down to a set of non-conflicting bullet points by now, then he may as well quit while he was ahead and take French where at least the girls were hotter.
Fortunately, before Ryan's imagination had time to wander off inappropriately, Julie Cooper kicked him.
"Can you see anything yet?"
"I don't know," Ryan answered, understandably made nervous at the task at hand. "I'm not sure."
The air was suddenly thick with the weight of Julie's incredulity. "You don't know? Jeez, if you can't spot a baby down there, no wonder you can't keep a girlfriend."
"Hey!" Ryan snapped back, in ill-advised defensiveness. Julie stared at him and he softened his tone, shrugging. "It's dark."
Julie flopped back against the door, muttering to herself. "Oh my god."
But this is several hours from now. I think we should scroll back a bit.
…
Let's start…. Here.
"Phone!" Seth shouted from upstairs, steam pouring out from the bathroom behind him. "Ryan! I'm naked up here."
"Then stay up there, man," Ryan said, heading to the hall mirror where, for reasons unknown and probably terribly logical at the time, the cordless had been abandoned. "I got it."
(At this point, I'd just like to apologise for the advent of a loud screaming child in the background, but you have to remember Sophie Rose is a Cohen and, well, this is the way they do things.)
"Hello, Cohen residence."
"Ryan? It's Julie, is Kiki there?"
"Actually no, Sandy took her up Napa for the weekend," said Ryan, returning to where Sophie was crying in her playpen. "They'll be back late tomorrow."
"Well, isn't that sweet. Since when?"
"Uh, it was a surprise. Yeah, they're gonna visit a vineyard, get mud baths in Calistoga, Sandy even managed to swing reservations at the French Laundry. Seth's back for the holidays, we're looking after Sophie," said Ryan, tucking the phone under his ear and scooping Sophie up on to his hip.
"Sounds like you're doing a great job," replied Julie with cheerful sarcasm.
"She's teething."
"Oh. That."
"Is everything okay? You sound-
"What?"
Ryan floundered and groped for the nearest safe adjective. "… Busy."
"I'm looking for the Berkeley exit off the freeway; I know it's coming up here somewhere."
"You're driving? Here? Now? How?"
"Do you mean how does somebody as ridiculously pregnant as I am right now fit behind the wheel? Are you trying to say I'm fat, Ryan?"
"Wouldn't dream of it." Ryan replied without hesitation.
"Well, I am. I'm also rich and driving a 4 by 4 with an adjustable steering wheel, I'm good to go."
"I just meant because aren't you due any day now?"
"Three days." Julie stated nonchalantly.
"And that doesn't make you a little, I don’t know, apprehensive about driving all the way up here?"
"Please. Marissa was a week late, Kaitlin over two weeks late, and they punched and kicked my uterus every hour from the day they were due to the day they popped out. I am not going through that again. I've eaten curry, drank beet soup, chewed cloves, done Pilates, yogalates and, god help me, even salsasize. I've slept with Frank, flirted with every attractive young man in a fifty mile radius and some really unattractive ones. Nothing. Not even a twitch from Kid Chino. I'm desperate."
"So you drove to Berkeley?"
"Kirsten went to Berkeley, bun safely in the oven, next thing you know, there's another bird chirping in the nest and an early bird at that. I thought I'd drive up here, try and catch myself a worm."
"Okay. Sure, why not."
"I promise not to let my waters break on anything that needs dry-cleaning."
"Very considerate of you," said Ryan, wincing as Sophie's complaining kicked up several decibels, "Look Julie, I gotta go, you're welcome to stay over, just remember we don't have a midwife living here anymore, okay?"
"Fine, fine. Here's my exit, look out for me."
Ryan put the phone down and headed upstairs to where Seth was now blow-drying his hair in his ever futile quest to bring a little order to his wayward follicles.
I'd tell you his reaction but there are children present.
~~~
Well, I think we can all see that things are not going to go well from here. Absent parents, a teething baby and an unexpected not to mention exceptionally pregnant house guest.
You're right. They don't.
~~~
I could tell you how Julie showed up just as anticipated, declaring, "I know, I'm disgustingly huge," and how, not being without intelligence, Ryan opted for silence, but the distance his eyebrows raised spoke volumes.
I could tell you how Kaitlin called an hour later, near apoplectic at her mother's note of explanation and introduced Seth to some delightfully blue new turns of phrase.
I could tell you how they bought enough Chinese food for six people for lunch and ate it all, including the spiciest chicken ever to put the pow! in a fiery kung sauce.
I could tell you how the Sophie painted baby food first on Seth's face and then his carefully crafted hair.
I could tell you how Kirsten and Sandy phoned every two hours and were less than amused when an exasperated Seth eventually introduced them to Kaitlin's vocabulary.
I could tell you how after ne'er a twinge or a whisper, Julie finally gave up on her idea of a B-section and called home, telling them to expect her- still expectant- late in the evening.
I could tell you all that.
But I won't. These things are much more amusing in short-hand. You know when people recount a joke, realise it's not funny and then say lamely, "I guess you had to be there"? It's like that, but with prose.
~~~
This, however, is a juicy bit.
Several hours later and Seth, freshly re-laundered had headed downtown to meet Zach and his girlfriend Emma for coffee and geeking out, leaving Ryan and Julie to get along by themselves, something they now found surprisingly easy to do. The late afternoon was fresh and warm and Julie was happily ensconced on the porch swing over looking the back yard, finishing the first semi-decent decaf coffee she'd had in months.
(Sorry, that's juicy as in enticing, intriguing; engaging, if you will. Not a fruit-based beverage, just in case the sudden mention of coffee threw you. I'll be quiet now.)
"Is this imported?" she asked Ryan who sat on the back steps, absently bouncing Sophie on his knee.
"The coffee?"
"Yes."
"No."
"Oh."
"Well, no more than any other coffee, anyway," Ryan qualified, "It's fair-trade."
"Oh," said Julie, with wistful amusement. "Newport doesn't do that."
"Color me stunned."
"Maybe it's the pregnancy throwing me off, but that was almost funny."
"It has been known to happen," Ryan grinned.
"Like Halley's Comet."
"Exactly."
Julie drank the rest of her coffee, as Sophie bounced happily, smiling with adoration at Ryan. "You're really good with her, Seth is too."
"Thanks," said Ryan, "She's pretty easy to be good with."
"It's more than that. Look at her. She feels safe with you. You can always tell with kids."
"You know, if you ever need- I can come down to Newport, no problem."
"Thanks. I'll have to take you up on that," Julie said, looking down at her bump, "Won't we?" She sighed and fell silent, looking out at the garden and the mix of toys sprinkled about it like freckles. "Kirsten and Sandy; they've really got it worked out, haven’t they?"
"You okay, Julie?" Ryan asked, looking over at her and seeing her contemplative frown.
"I just… I really want to get it right this time."
"I don't think you ever really got it wrong."
"Oh really?" Julie snorted dryly.
"Hey, trust me. My mom, growing up, I know she loved us, but she's not what you'd call maternal."
"Ryan-"
"- Hey, even when you weren't getting along, you always put Marissa and Kaitlin first. At the end of the day, that's all that matters. And you've got Kaitlin, and the Bullit, and us guys. And my Dad." Ryan said, turning his attention back to Sophie, "He's different now, too."
"Ryan, you don't have to defend Frank to me."
"I know. Look, I'm not saying he was perfect, because he wasn't, but he was a hell of a lot better than any of the guys that came afterwards. And he really is different now. I trust him."
"Me too." Grateful for the reassurance, Julie smiled at him. "You know, you're really kinda smart, Ryan Atwood. I hope Kid Chino gets that gene."
"I just hope he gets a name. You can't call him Kid Chino his whole life."
"This is California," Julie said, smiling, "I could call him Kid Terminator and he'd still fit right in."
(Personally, I think Kid Chino is an awesome name. Who's with me?)
"You're not going to, though right?"
"No. No, I have a name in mind. But for that," she said, getting to her feet, the porch swing creaking with relief beneath her, "You're going to have wait and see, like everyone else. Thanks for the coffee, Ryan."
"You sure you don't want to stay?"
"No, thank you. It's been a nice to get out of the house, but I have to be getting back to Kaitlin. She gets cranky if she doesn't get the chance to make me breakfast in the morning. Honest to god, I am so full nutrients, this baby's going to pop out looking like a Garnier spokesmodel."
"Only with a lot less hair."
"Hey, that's two jokes in one day," Julie teased in pretend shock. "Keep this up, you've got yourself an act."
"You'll call when you get back?"
"Of course."
"And when things start to happen?" Ryan asked with a subtle nod at Julie's lovely round bump of a belly.
"Absolutely." Julie smiled at him. "I will."
And Julie kept her promise. Just a little sooner than either of then had intended.
Oh, come on. Don't act like you’re surprised.
~~~
"Ryan?"
"Julie?"
"You know you said to call you when things start to happen?"
Being a quick study, Ryan was able to deduce what Julie meant pretty darn fast. However, he still wasn't able to come up with a better response than, "You're kidding."
"I'm at a crappy rest stop twenty miles away, Ryan, I really wish I was kidding."
"What happened?"
"I stopped to pee, again, because this is how I spend most of my day now, and things just started happening. At first I thought it was the kung-pow chicken, now I'm fairly certain I'm in labour."
"Shouldn’t you, you know, call an ambulance?"
"It's not that bad, my waters haven't broken and I really, really don't want to end up giving birth in a hospital in Emeryville or Oakland or wherever. Please, can you and Seth just come get me?"
"Sure, sure, just, hang on, okay? We'll be there as soon as I can, okay. Just relax."
"Yeah, I've a person wanting to come out of me, so that's probably not going to happen."
"I'll be there. Keep your phone on."
Ryan hung up, grabbing his sneakers as he headed out towards where Seth was unwinding with a new book.
- You might want to put your fingers in your ears for this bit -
"SETH!!" Ryan hollered at the top of his lungs.
"Jesus, Ryan, do you want to wake Sophie?" Seth said, nearly dropping off the porch swing in fright, before seeing the worried look on his best friend's face, "What is it, what's going on?"
"Julie's in labour."
"Julie's in what now?"
"Labour! That thing that happens right before my kid brother gets dropped on the freeway tarmac. It’s happening, right now, at a rest stop twenty miles from here."
"Okay, okay," said Seth, snapping into grown up mode with ease. "I'll get Sophie, you call the Bullit, tell him he needs to do whatever he has to do to get your dad and Kaitlin on a plane up here right now. And then get some towels, and the first aid kit, and some hot water, and I don't know, like some swaddling clothes, or something."
"Seth, she's giving birth in a car, not a frontier novel," said Ryan reaching for the phone again. "And she's not going to do that unless we're really unfortunate, either; just get Sophie, I'll take care of the rest."
Let's leave aside the issue of how on earth Seth thought they were going to transport a ready supply of hot water in a range rover, or the fact that if indeed Julie does indeed give birth in the back of a car, Sophie's going to be getting a big jump start on her education and focus on Ryan's choice of words there:
"… And she's not going to do that unless we're really unfortunate, either."
Two words for you: Atwood Luck.
~~~
I'm going to skip forward now, partly because Ryan's about to drop an f-bomb as he hits another red light, but also because it's a pretty dull drive to where Julie's waiting and there's only so interesting a person can make the journey. You can figure out what happens for the next few miles or so for yourself. After all, you're all on the Internet, so it's a reasonable assumption that you've all taken car rides at night, you know how they go.
Besides, there are only two interesting things about car journeys. The first is that the plural of journey is journeys eys and not journies ies, like babies, or daisies or stories, something for which I suspect there is a perfectly good, if slightly banal explanation, so perhaps this is only interesting to yours truly.
The second interesting thing is about to happen.
Any time…
Bear with me…
…
Now.
"Holy shit, my waters just broke."
Told you.
~~~
"Don't worry, we're almost there, the rest stop's coming up in less than a mile."
"What, what is it?" Seth asked Ryan, as he kept his eyes on the road.
"Julie says her waters just broke."
"Crap, really? We are so screwed."
"And she also says she can hear you, you jackass."
~~~
Ryan and Seth looked at the puddle on the floor and the backseat of Julie's otherwise pristinely valeted car. Whatever Sturm und Drang they'd been envisioning in their imagination, the prosaic sweatiness of a dishevelled Julie Cooper hadn't really occurred to them. Seth, being Seth, spoke first.
"What the hell is that?"
"Amniotic fluid."
"Gross."
"Tell me about it."
"How can one person make such an unbelievable mess?"
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Julie in exasperation, "Does Summer know you're this stupid? It's called childbirth you idiot, did you think it was self-cleaning?"
"Sorry," said Seth, genuinely. "Are you okay? We have towels."
"I've been better," Julie replied, not unkindly. "Could be worse. I'm really glad you're here. And there's a sentence I never thought I'd say about this situation. Although I'd be happier if Ryan didn't look catatonic."
"Sorry," said Ryan snapping out of it. "Okay. Okay, here's what we're going to do," he said, taking charge. "Bullit's rounding up Kaitlin and Dad as we speak and flying them up here. Kirsten and Sandy are headed back from Calistoga; everyone's going to meet us at the hospital. Julie, I don't know if it's even possible but, if there's any way you could not give birth until we get there, I think I speak for all of us when I say it's going to save a lot of money on therapy bills."
"Agreed," said Julie with good humour. "I think I can do that."
"That's great. Seth, you're driving, we'll put Sophie up front with you, I'll stay in the back with Julie. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Cool," said Ryan, wishing he felt as calm as he sounded. "And I don't think I've ever said that many words at once before."
He's exaggerating. It's only 83 words, but this is a dramatic moment, so we’ll let that slide.
~~~
Twenty minutes later and things were not going well.
Oh, don’t get worried. As Ryan correctly surmised, Julie was not giving birth in a frontier novel. What she was doing, however, was having contractions at regular and rapidly increasing intervals.
"I don't believe this," Julie grunted through gritted teeth, pushing her feet into the headrest hard enough to leave a dent.
"It's fine, everything's fine," Ryan replied. "It's not far now."
"Honestly, Ryan, right now I could give a crap where we are, but I'll tell you this for nothing, hell will freeze over before I give birth listening to Death Cab for frickin' Cutie- Seth! Put some decent music on, or so help me, I'll put my foot through your ear."
"Okay, okay," Seth said speedily, with an excellent sense of self-preservation. "We've got Emmylou Harris, Bob Dylan or the Best of Disney."
"No child of mine is being born to folk or country music."
"Disney it is."
It was at this point, and quite without warning, that Julie swung her legs around and Ryan found himself suddenly staring down the opening to the Dragon Lady's cave.
"Oh, man."
And it was here, where we first came in, at the exact moment that he found himself looking up between the legs of a woman who had spent a good proportion of their early acquaintance trying to have him arrested, banished and possibly even publicly lynched, that Ryan Atwood decided to drop his philosophy minor. Existence was debatable, experience was random and life clearly had an over-developed sense of irony. As far as Ryan was concerned, if Wittgenstein, Nietzsche, Gettier and a whole other bunch of intelligent and articulate dead white guys hadn't managed to condense the whole shebang down to a set of non-conflicting bullet points by now, then he may as well quit while he was ahead and take French where at least the girls were hotter.
Fortunately, before Ryan's imagination had time to wander off inappropriately, Julie Cooper kicked him.
"Can you see anything yet?"
"I don't know," Ryan answered, understandably made nervous at the task at hand. "I'm not sure."
The air was suddenly thick with the weight of Julie's incredulity. "You don't know? Jeez, Ryan, if you can't spot a baby down there, no wonder you can't keep a girlfriend."
"Hey!" Ryan snapped back, in a brief moment ill-advised defensiveness. Julie stared at him and he softened his tone, shrugging. "It's dark."
"Oh, good grief." Julie flopped back against the door, muttering to herself. "Why did I think this was a good thing to do to my cervix again?"
"That's between you and your god."
"And your dad. This is positively the last time I ever have sex."
Not for the first time that day, Ryan and Seth's eyebrows raised several centimetres in disbelief. If this were Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Sophie's would have been right up there along with them.
"Oh, who am I kidding," Julie continued, closing her eyes tightly as the pain of another contraction hit her. "This is the last time I have sex with a man who hasn't had a vasectomy."
"Ryan, talk to me," insisted Seth, as The Circle of Life began to hum rhythmically from the stereo, "What's going on back there? Can you see anything?"
"Everything's kind of… swollen." Ryan said, peering as tactfully as he could under the circumstances. "Wait, holy crap, Seth, pull over. There's something moving-"
"- What?! What?!"
"I can see the head! There's a head!"
"Really?" asked Julie and Seth in one voice as Seth flipped on the warning lights and looked for a gap in the traffic.
"It was bound to happen eventually," Ryan replied, fascinated and flummoxed by the bizarre sight in front of him in equal measure.
"What can you see?" asked Seth, pulling the car to a stop.
"Sort of, it's like a ball."
"That's amazing. Gross, and weird, but amazing."
"yeah. Julie," said Ryan, giving into the moment, "I'm no expert, but I'm guessing this would be the time to push."
"I can't believe that after everything that's happened you're the person that's delivering my baby," said Julie, half crying, half grimacing from emotional and physical exertion. She looked at Ryan, and grabbed his hand fiercely. "Do you think everything happens for a reason Ryan? Is that why you're here now? Because you were with Marissa?"
"I don't know," he answered honestly. "Maybe. I hope so."
"Me too. It feels right, somehow. Like it's what she wanted."
With a small grateful smile, Ryan squeezed Julie's hand tighter. "Ready?"
Julie nodded and Seth, now holding his little sister in his arms, watched in silent awe as Ryan helped Julie deliver his own little brother.
Then, quite suddenly, there were five people in the car. All of them possessing of ten fingers, ten toes, and all of them, without exception and for their own personal and particular reasons, crying.
And now if you don't mind, I'm a bit of a softie, so you'll have to excuse me if I do the same.
At least here the ink won't run.
~~~
And so it came to pass that a police patrol came speeding up to the stalled car and asked what they thought they were doing pulling over on the hard shoulder of a busy freeway for no good reason. Then they saw the tiny figure wrapped in Sandy's surf towel and figured that this was the best reason they'd ever heard and gave them an escort all the way down the freeway, with full lights and music. Ten minutes ago, even Julie and Ryan would have agreed with Seth that an action movie style police escort would have been the coolest thing ever, but somehow, the scale for cool had just been decisively and definitively reset for good.
It's hard to disagree.
~~~
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're wondering when that conversation between Frank and Ryan is going to raise its angsty head.
Well, there was a little more to come before we get there, but honestly? I think we can skip it. This is, after all, what might otherwise be known as the good parts version and you already know my feelings on the boredom of car journeys. So, we'll just slip away from the action for a little bit; past the part where the police escort took the wrong exit off the freeway, past the part where Can You Feel The Love Tonight? came on the stereo and they all started crying so hard again Seth had to pull over for a full five minutes while he got it together again and finally past the frankly clumsy part where Ryan and tried to find a dignified way of manoeuvring Julie and her son out of the car and failed utterly.
Soon, the cord was cut, Julie was resting, Seth had gone with Sophie to look out for his parents et al in the main entrance and Ryan had fortunately found the opportunity to clean himself up a little, and was sitting outside Julie's room waiting for next act to begin.
~~~
Which it does, now:
~~~
The doors at the end of the hall banged back against the wall as Frank rushed through them in search of his family, new and old.
"Ryan?"
"Dad?"
"Ryan," Frank repeated, grabbing his son in the briefest of close hugs he never would have dreamt would have been reciprocated twelve months earlier. "Oh, I am so glad to see you."
"Yeah, me too."
"I thought I couldn't believe it when Julie said she'd gone to Berkeley, but this? This is just crazy."
"Tell me about it. Where are the others? Is Kaitlin with you?"
"She's coming down from the roof, with Bullit, there was only one spot free in the first elevator, they're waiting for the next one. We took a helicopter from the airfield can you believe it? Me, in a helicopter!"
"Up until tonight I'd have said no, but-" Ryan shrugged.
"Weird day, huh?"
"The weirdest."
Frank glanced across the hall at the half-closed door to Julie's room. "Are they?"
"Yeah. Both of them. The nurses are going to take him back to the nursery in a little while, they said they'd wait for you."
"And he's okay?"
"Little on the small side, but otherwise, yeah. He's great."
"Sounds like an Atwood. Small but perfectly formed. You were tiny. I could hold you with one hand, did you know that?"
Ryan shook his head.
"Fitted perfectly."
"Dad?" asked Ryan, a little thrown by seeing the start of tears forming in his father's eyes. "You okay?"
"Oh, I'm fine, I'll be fine. Don't worry." Frank said, giving Ryan a gentle shoulder squeeze of reassurance. He took a deep breath, as if trying to find the way to say it. "It's just… This is just so strange for an old guy like me. Two years, ten years after, I never thought I'd be here."
"Yeah," Ryan said, glancing sideways for a second, "Tell me about it."
"Who I was, what I was, Ryan, I'm not that person anymore-"
"- I know, Dad."
"But sometimes, I get this feeling nesting in my gut and I can't shake it... What if after everything- What if I'm still not ready?"
"You will be," Ryan replied honestly.
"I want so badly to believe that, Ryan, I really do."
"Well, I believe it."
"You do?"
"Yeah. You've changed, Dad," said Ryan, keen for his father to be the man they both knew he could be. "And I know you made mistakes, but I also know you've learned from them."
"I wasn't a good dad before."
"No, you weren't. But you are now and you will be tomorrow and that's all that matters."
"You're really smart, you know that?"
"So people keep telling me."
"I'm going to keep telling you. And all the other things I should have told you."
"You know," Ryan smiled, as the doors down the hall opened again and filled with sounds of eager relatives and he unselfconsciously reached out and hugged his dad properly for the first time in years. "I'm okay with that."
~~~
Okay, so it was short, but it's sweet don't you think? I for one never expected to find these two coming to a real understanding and I'm narrating this three-ringed circus. And you'd think that would be the perfect place to leave things. But we've got one last thing to do first.
Somebody still needs a name.
~~~
And lo, from all over the land (and by land I mean California), there came visitors to see the newborn child, each bringing gifts as befitting such an occasion.
From the child's soon-to-be godparents, there was a fine bottle of champagne for friends and family to share and a fine bottle of Carménère to keep until such time as the child was old enough to legally appreciate it for themselves.
From the honorary uncle and owner of the oil refinery or twenty, there was a corner of Texan sky that one day he could call his own.
From the child's big sister, there was a much loved and much worn bear, stolen from a big sister of her own a long, long time ago and now passed on freely so that the brother she had never lived to see had a part of her to hold and cherish.
And from the father, who had waited so long for his own chance to get it right, there was a promise, more heartfelt, and more humble than any he had ever uttered, that this time, no matter what happened, he would tell his son how much he meant to him, every time he saw him.
"So Ryan," asked Kaitlin, expertly defusing the emotional tension before everyone started crying again, "Was the Circle of Life really on the stereo, or is Seth just making that up?"
"Some stuff even Seth couldn’t have made up."
"That is so cool."
"You're a big sister now. How cool is that?"
"- Stop it," said Kaitlin, swatting at him as she welled up again.
"So Kaitlin, Ryan," said Frank from where he sat next to Julie and their new baby, "I think it's time you found out what your little brother's name is going to be."
"Finally!" exclaimed Kaitlin. "Do you know I've been making her breakfast in bed for a month and she still wouldn't tell me?"
"So," prompted Bullit, "What's the little firecracker's name?"
Julie cleared her throat and looked round at her friends.
"Well, I thought about it a lot. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised that whoever this kid grows up to be, he's not going to get there without the support of his family. And that's all of you. So we talked about it and we came up with something we think sums that up. Everyone," said Julie, beaming down at the tiny baby, "We'd like you to meet Cohen. Cohen Frank Gordon Cooper."
"Cohen? Seriously?" said Seth, his voice brimming with the same pride reflected on the smiles of his parents.
"What do you think?" asked Julie.
"I think Summer's going to have to start calling me Seth."
"I love it. But can I still call him Kid Chino?" asked Kaitlin, gently touching a finger to her brother's soft cheek.
"Only until he's big enough to stop you."
"Works for me."
"Kirsten? Sandy?" asked Frank, seeking not just an answer to his question but a silent affirmation of a new start.
Without hesitation, Sandy slipped a hand round Kirsten's waist and held out his other to Frank, shaking it warmly in his. "We’d be honoured."
"Absolutely," Kirsten consented, laughing. "But as long as you promise never to shorten it to Coco."
"I second that," agreed Ryan. Cohen Frank Gordon Cooper. He could think on it for a thousand years and not be able to be come up with another four words that said so much with so little.
Of the ten people in the room, there wasn't one who didn't deserve to be there, every single one was a piece of a brilliant jigsaw. And now as they laughed and shared in each others happiness, the puzzle was finally completed.
...Since the invention of lingering-looks between once estranged relations and now-unified families coming to an understanding, there have been five looks that were rated the most positive, the most pure.
This one? This one left them all behind.
~~~
~~~
Title: Ways of Seeing; Or, The Once and Future Cohen
Fandom: The O.C.
Rating / Genre: PG-13, Gen, possible humour. It depends on how endearing you find me.
Words: 5381
Spoilers: The whole series.
Disclaimer/ Schmoopy Dedication: The O.C. is property of Fox. Written for 60schic's marvellously duplicitous prompt for The O.C. Dialogue Challenge 2007. It took the longest imaginable time to find the right way to tell this story, so I very, very much hope that you like it.
Summary: "How can one person make such an unbelievable mess?"
~~~
"It's just…This is just so strange for an old guy like me. Two years, ten years after, I never thought I'd be here."
"Yeah," Ryan said, glancing sideways for a second, "Tell me about it."
"Who I was, what I was, Ryan, I'm not that person anymore-"
"- I know, Dad."
"But sometimes, I get this feeling nesting in my gut and I can't shake it... What if after everything- What if I'm still not ready?"
~~~
Don't get excited, we're not going to kick off with a heart to heart between Frank and Ryan. I mean we never saw one before, least ways not the Big Talk we were all rooting for, so you know you don't get those scenes right out the gate, you have to earn these things. Bear with me, we'll get there. But first, let's set the scene.
It's Chrismukkah, 2008, our favourite fictional holiday (though apparently not Seth Cohen's. Who knew?). The snow's coming down, but only fake snow from cans, because this is Berkeley after all, blessed with a favourable climate and good people. This story is about the birth of one of them.
~~~
It was at the exact moment that he found himself looking up between the legs of a woman who had spent a good proportion of their early acquaintance trying to have him arrested, banished and possibly even publicly lynched, that Ryan Atwood decided to drop his philosophy minor. Existence was debatable, experience was random and life clearly had an over-developed sense of irony. As far as Ryan was concerned, if Wittgenstein, Nietzsche, Gettier and a whole other bunch of intelligent and articulate dead white guys hadn't managed to condense the whole shebang down to a set of non-conflicting bullet points by now, then he may as well quit while he was ahead and take French where at least the girls were hotter.
Fortunately, before Ryan's imagination had time to wander off inappropriately, Julie Cooper kicked him.
"Can you see anything yet?"
"I don't know," Ryan answered, understandably made nervous at the task at hand. "I'm not sure."
The air was suddenly thick with the weight of Julie's incredulity. "You don't know? Jeez, if you can't spot a baby down there, no wonder you can't keep a girlfriend."
"Hey!" Ryan snapped back, in ill-advised defensiveness. Julie stared at him and he softened his tone, shrugging. "It's dark."
Julie flopped back against the door, muttering to herself. "Oh my god."
But this is several hours from now. I think we should scroll back a bit.
…
Let's start…. Here.
"Phone!" Seth shouted from upstairs, steam pouring out from the bathroom behind him. "Ryan! I'm naked up here."
"Then stay up there, man," Ryan said, heading to the hall mirror where, for reasons unknown and probably terribly logical at the time, the cordless had been abandoned. "I got it."
(At this point, I'd just like to apologise for the advent of a loud screaming child in the background, but you have to remember Sophie Rose is a Cohen and, well, this is the way they do things.)
"Hello, Cohen residence."
"Ryan? It's Julie, is Kiki there?"
"Actually no, Sandy took her up Napa for the weekend," said Ryan, returning to where Sophie was crying in her playpen. "They'll be back late tomorrow."
"Well, isn't that sweet. Since when?"
"Uh, it was a surprise. Yeah, they're gonna visit a vineyard, get mud baths in Calistoga, Sandy even managed to swing reservations at the French Laundry. Seth's back for the holidays, we're looking after Sophie," said Ryan, tucking the phone under his ear and scooping Sophie up on to his hip.
"Sounds like you're doing a great job," replied Julie with cheerful sarcasm.
"She's teething."
"Oh. That."
"Is everything okay? You sound-
"What?"
Ryan floundered and groped for the nearest safe adjective. "… Busy."
"I'm looking for the Berkeley exit off the freeway; I know it's coming up here somewhere."
"You're driving? Here? Now? How?"
"Do you mean how does somebody as ridiculously pregnant as I am right now fit behind the wheel? Are you trying to say I'm fat, Ryan?"
"Wouldn't dream of it." Ryan replied without hesitation.
"Well, I am. I'm also rich and driving a 4 by 4 with an adjustable steering wheel, I'm good to go."
"I just meant because aren't you due any day now?"
"Three days." Julie stated nonchalantly.
"And that doesn't make you a little, I don’t know, apprehensive about driving all the way up here?"
"Please. Marissa was a week late, Kaitlin over two weeks late, and they punched and kicked my uterus every hour from the day they were due to the day they popped out. I am not going through that again. I've eaten curry, drank beet soup, chewed cloves, done Pilates, yogalates and, god help me, even salsasize. I've slept with Frank, flirted with every attractive young man in a fifty mile radius and some really unattractive ones. Nothing. Not even a twitch from Kid Chino. I'm desperate."
"So you drove to Berkeley?"
"Kirsten went to Berkeley, bun safely in the oven, next thing you know, there's another bird chirping in the nest and an early bird at that. I thought I'd drive up here, try and catch myself a worm."
"Okay. Sure, why not."
"I promise not to let my waters break on anything that needs dry-cleaning."
"Very considerate of you," said Ryan, wincing as Sophie's complaining kicked up several decibels, "Look Julie, I gotta go, you're welcome to stay over, just remember we don't have a midwife living here anymore, okay?"
"Fine, fine. Here's my exit, look out for me."
Ryan put the phone down and headed upstairs to where Seth was now blow-drying his hair in his ever futile quest to bring a little order to his wayward follicles.
I'd tell you his reaction but there are children present.
~~~
Well, I think we can all see that things are not going to go well from here. Absent parents, a teething baby and an unexpected not to mention exceptionally pregnant house guest.
You're right. They don't.
~~~
I could tell you how Julie showed up just as anticipated, declaring, "I know, I'm disgustingly huge," and how, not being without intelligence, Ryan opted for silence, but the distance his eyebrows raised spoke volumes.
I could tell you how Kaitlin called an hour later, near apoplectic at her mother's note of explanation and introduced Seth to some delightfully blue new turns of phrase.
I could tell you how they bought enough Chinese food for six people for lunch and ate it all, including the spiciest chicken ever to put the pow! in a fiery kung sauce.
I could tell you how the Sophie painted baby food first on Seth's face and then his carefully crafted hair.
I could tell you how Kirsten and Sandy phoned every two hours and were less than amused when an exasperated Seth eventually introduced them to Kaitlin's vocabulary.
I could tell you how after ne'er a twinge or a whisper, Julie finally gave up on her idea of a B-section and called home, telling them to expect her- still expectant- late in the evening.
I could tell you all that.
But I won't. These things are much more amusing in short-hand. You know when people recount a joke, realise it's not funny and then say lamely, "I guess you had to be there"? It's like that, but with prose.
~~~
This, however, is a juicy bit.
Several hours later and Seth, freshly re-laundered had headed downtown to meet Zach and his girlfriend Emma for coffee and geeking out, leaving Ryan and Julie to get along by themselves, something they now found surprisingly easy to do. The late afternoon was fresh and warm and Julie was happily ensconced on the porch swing over looking the back yard, finishing the first semi-decent decaf coffee she'd had in months.
(Sorry, that's juicy as in enticing, intriguing; engaging, if you will. Not a fruit-based beverage, just in case the sudden mention of coffee threw you. I'll be quiet now.)
"Is this imported?" she asked Ryan who sat on the back steps, absently bouncing Sophie on his knee.
"The coffee?"
"Yes."
"No."
"Oh."
"Well, no more than any other coffee, anyway," Ryan qualified, "It's fair-trade."
"Oh," said Julie, with wistful amusement. "Newport doesn't do that."
"Color me stunned."
"Maybe it's the pregnancy throwing me off, but that was almost funny."
"It has been known to happen," Ryan grinned.
"Like Halley's Comet."
"Exactly."
Julie drank the rest of her coffee, as Sophie bounced happily, smiling with adoration at Ryan. "You're really good with her, Seth is too."
"Thanks," said Ryan, "She's pretty easy to be good with."
"It's more than that. Look at her. She feels safe with you. You can always tell with kids."
"You know, if you ever need- I can come down to Newport, no problem."
"Thanks. I'll have to take you up on that," Julie said, looking down at her bump, "Won't we?" She sighed and fell silent, looking out at the garden and the mix of toys sprinkled about it like freckles. "Kirsten and Sandy; they've really got it worked out, haven’t they?"
"You okay, Julie?" Ryan asked, looking over at her and seeing her contemplative frown.
"I just… I really want to get it right this time."
"I don't think you ever really got it wrong."
"Oh really?" Julie snorted dryly.
"Hey, trust me. My mom, growing up, I know she loved us, but she's not what you'd call maternal."
"Ryan-"
"- Hey, even when you weren't getting along, you always put Marissa and Kaitlin first. At the end of the day, that's all that matters. And you've got Kaitlin, and the Bullit, and us guys. And my Dad." Ryan said, turning his attention back to Sophie, "He's different now, too."
"Ryan, you don't have to defend Frank to me."
"I know. Look, I'm not saying he was perfect, because he wasn't, but he was a hell of a lot better than any of the guys that came afterwards. And he really is different now. I trust him."
"Me too." Grateful for the reassurance, Julie smiled at him. "You know, you're really kinda smart, Ryan Atwood. I hope Kid Chino gets that gene."
"I just hope he gets a name. You can't call him Kid Chino his whole life."
"This is California," Julie said, smiling, "I could call him Kid Terminator and he'd still fit right in."
(Personally, I think Kid Chino is an awesome name. Who's with me?)
"You're not going to, though right?"
"No. No, I have a name in mind. But for that," she said, getting to her feet, the porch swing creaking with relief beneath her, "You're going to have wait and see, like everyone else. Thanks for the coffee, Ryan."
"You sure you don't want to stay?"
"No, thank you. It's been a nice to get out of the house, but I have to be getting back to Kaitlin. She gets cranky if she doesn't get the chance to make me breakfast in the morning. Honest to god, I am so full nutrients, this baby's going to pop out looking like a Garnier spokesmodel."
"Only with a lot less hair."
"Hey, that's two jokes in one day," Julie teased in pretend shock. "Keep this up, you've got yourself an act."
"You'll call when you get back?"
"Of course."
"And when things start to happen?" Ryan asked with a subtle nod at Julie's lovely round bump of a belly.
"Absolutely." Julie smiled at him. "I will."
And Julie kept her promise. Just a little sooner than either of then had intended.
Oh, come on. Don't act like you’re surprised.
~~~
"Ryan?"
"Julie?"
"You know you said to call you when things start to happen?"
Being a quick study, Ryan was able to deduce what Julie meant pretty darn fast. However, he still wasn't able to come up with a better response than, "You're kidding."
"I'm at a crappy rest stop twenty miles away, Ryan, I really wish I was kidding."
"What happened?"
"I stopped to pee, again, because this is how I spend most of my day now, and things just started happening. At first I thought it was the kung-pow chicken, now I'm fairly certain I'm in labour."
"Shouldn’t you, you know, call an ambulance?"
"It's not that bad, my waters haven't broken and I really, really don't want to end up giving birth in a hospital in Emeryville or Oakland or wherever. Please, can you and Seth just come get me?"
"Sure, sure, just, hang on, okay? We'll be there as soon as I can, okay. Just relax."
"Yeah, I've a person wanting to come out of me, so that's probably not going to happen."
"I'll be there. Keep your phone on."
Ryan hung up, grabbing his sneakers as he headed out towards where Seth was unwinding with a new book.
- You might want to put your fingers in your ears for this bit -
"SETH!!" Ryan hollered at the top of his lungs.
"Jesus, Ryan, do you want to wake Sophie?" Seth said, nearly dropping off the porch swing in fright, before seeing the worried look on his best friend's face, "What is it, what's going on?"
"Julie's in labour."
"Julie's in what now?"
"Labour! That thing that happens right before my kid brother gets dropped on the freeway tarmac. It’s happening, right now, at a rest stop twenty miles from here."
"Okay, okay," said Seth, snapping into grown up mode with ease. "I'll get Sophie, you call the Bullit, tell him he needs to do whatever he has to do to get your dad and Kaitlin on a plane up here right now. And then get some towels, and the first aid kit, and some hot water, and I don't know, like some swaddling clothes, or something."
"Seth, she's giving birth in a car, not a frontier novel," said Ryan reaching for the phone again. "And she's not going to do that unless we're really unfortunate, either; just get Sophie, I'll take care of the rest."
Let's leave aside the issue of how on earth Seth thought they were going to transport a ready supply of hot water in a range rover, or the fact that if indeed Julie does indeed give birth in the back of a car, Sophie's going to be getting a big jump start on her education and focus on Ryan's choice of words there:
"… And she's not going to do that unless we're really unfortunate, either."
Two words for you: Atwood Luck.
~~~
I'm going to skip forward now, partly because Ryan's about to drop an f-bomb as he hits another red light, but also because it's a pretty dull drive to where Julie's waiting and there's only so interesting a person can make the journey. You can figure out what happens for the next few miles or so for yourself. After all, you're all on the Internet, so it's a reasonable assumption that you've all taken car rides at night, you know how they go.
Besides, there are only two interesting things about car journeys. The first is that the plural of journey is journeys eys and not journies ies, like babies, or daisies or stories, something for which I suspect there is a perfectly good, if slightly banal explanation, so perhaps this is only interesting to yours truly.
The second interesting thing is about to happen.
Any time…
Bear with me…
…
Now.
"Holy shit, my waters just broke."
Told you.
~~~
"Don't worry, we're almost there, the rest stop's coming up in less than a mile."
"What, what is it?" Seth asked Ryan, as he kept his eyes on the road.
"Julie says her waters just broke."
"Crap, really? We are so screwed."
"And she also says she can hear you, you jackass."
~~~
Ryan and Seth looked at the puddle on the floor and the backseat of Julie's otherwise pristinely valeted car. Whatever Sturm und Drang they'd been envisioning in their imagination, the prosaic sweatiness of a dishevelled Julie Cooper hadn't really occurred to them. Seth, being Seth, spoke first.
"What the hell is that?"
"Amniotic fluid."
"Gross."
"Tell me about it."
"How can one person make such an unbelievable mess?"
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Julie in exasperation, "Does Summer know you're this stupid? It's called childbirth you idiot, did you think it was self-cleaning?"
"Sorry," said Seth, genuinely. "Are you okay? We have towels."
"I've been better," Julie replied, not unkindly. "Could be worse. I'm really glad you're here. And there's a sentence I never thought I'd say about this situation. Although I'd be happier if Ryan didn't look catatonic."
"Sorry," said Ryan snapping out of it. "Okay. Okay, here's what we're going to do," he said, taking charge. "Bullit's rounding up Kaitlin and Dad as we speak and flying them up here. Kirsten and Sandy are headed back from Calistoga; everyone's going to meet us at the hospital. Julie, I don't know if it's even possible but, if there's any way you could not give birth until we get there, I think I speak for all of us when I say it's going to save a lot of money on therapy bills."
"Agreed," said Julie with good humour. "I think I can do that."
"That's great. Seth, you're driving, we'll put Sophie up front with you, I'll stay in the back with Julie. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay."
"Cool," said Ryan, wishing he felt as calm as he sounded. "And I don't think I've ever said that many words at once before."
He's exaggerating. It's only 83 words, but this is a dramatic moment, so we’ll let that slide.
~~~
Twenty minutes later and things were not going well.
Oh, don’t get worried. As Ryan correctly surmised, Julie was not giving birth in a frontier novel. What she was doing, however, was having contractions at regular and rapidly increasing intervals.
"I don't believe this," Julie grunted through gritted teeth, pushing her feet into the headrest hard enough to leave a dent.
"It's fine, everything's fine," Ryan replied. "It's not far now."
"Honestly, Ryan, right now I could give a crap where we are, but I'll tell you this for nothing, hell will freeze over before I give birth listening to Death Cab for frickin' Cutie- Seth! Put some decent music on, or so help me, I'll put my foot through your ear."
"Okay, okay," Seth said speedily, with an excellent sense of self-preservation. "We've got Emmylou Harris, Bob Dylan or the Best of Disney."
"No child of mine is being born to folk or country music."
"Disney it is."
It was at this point, and quite without warning, that Julie swung her legs around and Ryan found himself suddenly staring down the opening to the Dragon Lady's cave.
"Oh, man."
And it was here, where we first came in, at the exact moment that he found himself looking up between the legs of a woman who had spent a good proportion of their early acquaintance trying to have him arrested, banished and possibly even publicly lynched, that Ryan Atwood decided to drop his philosophy minor. Existence was debatable, experience was random and life clearly had an over-developed sense of irony. As far as Ryan was concerned, if Wittgenstein, Nietzsche, Gettier and a whole other bunch of intelligent and articulate dead white guys hadn't managed to condense the whole shebang down to a set of non-conflicting bullet points by now, then he may as well quit while he was ahead and take French where at least the girls were hotter.
Fortunately, before Ryan's imagination had time to wander off inappropriately, Julie Cooper kicked him.
"Can you see anything yet?"
"I don't know," Ryan answered, understandably made nervous at the task at hand. "I'm not sure."
The air was suddenly thick with the weight of Julie's incredulity. "You don't know? Jeez, Ryan, if you can't spot a baby down there, no wonder you can't keep a girlfriend."
"Hey!" Ryan snapped back, in a brief moment ill-advised defensiveness. Julie stared at him and he softened his tone, shrugging. "It's dark."
"Oh, good grief." Julie flopped back against the door, muttering to herself. "Why did I think this was a good thing to do to my cervix again?"
"That's between you and your god."
"And your dad. This is positively the last time I ever have sex."
Not for the first time that day, Ryan and Seth's eyebrows raised several centimetres in disbelief. If this were Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Sophie's would have been right up there along with them.
"Oh, who am I kidding," Julie continued, closing her eyes tightly as the pain of another contraction hit her. "This is the last time I have sex with a man who hasn't had a vasectomy."
"Ryan, talk to me," insisted Seth, as The Circle of Life began to hum rhythmically from the stereo, "What's going on back there? Can you see anything?"
"Everything's kind of… swollen." Ryan said, peering as tactfully as he could under the circumstances. "Wait, holy crap, Seth, pull over. There's something moving-"
"- What?! What?!"
"I can see the head! There's a head!"
"Really?" asked Julie and Seth in one voice as Seth flipped on the warning lights and looked for a gap in the traffic.
"It was bound to happen eventually," Ryan replied, fascinated and flummoxed by the bizarre sight in front of him in equal measure.
"What can you see?" asked Seth, pulling the car to a stop.
"Sort of, it's like a ball."
"That's amazing. Gross, and weird, but amazing."
"yeah. Julie," said Ryan, giving into the moment, "I'm no expert, but I'm guessing this would be the time to push."
"I can't believe that after everything that's happened you're the person that's delivering my baby," said Julie, half crying, half grimacing from emotional and physical exertion. She looked at Ryan, and grabbed his hand fiercely. "Do you think everything happens for a reason Ryan? Is that why you're here now? Because you were with Marissa?"
"I don't know," he answered honestly. "Maybe. I hope so."
"Me too. It feels right, somehow. Like it's what she wanted."
With a small grateful smile, Ryan squeezed Julie's hand tighter. "Ready?"
Julie nodded and Seth, now holding his little sister in his arms, watched in silent awe as Ryan helped Julie deliver his own little brother.
Then, quite suddenly, there were five people in the car. All of them possessing of ten fingers, ten toes, and all of them, without exception and for their own personal and particular reasons, crying.
And now if you don't mind, I'm a bit of a softie, so you'll have to excuse me if I do the same.
At least here the ink won't run.
~~~
And so it came to pass that a police patrol came speeding up to the stalled car and asked what they thought they were doing pulling over on the hard shoulder of a busy freeway for no good reason. Then they saw the tiny figure wrapped in Sandy's surf towel and figured that this was the best reason they'd ever heard and gave them an escort all the way down the freeway, with full lights and music. Ten minutes ago, even Julie and Ryan would have agreed with Seth that an action movie style police escort would have been the coolest thing ever, but somehow, the scale for cool had just been decisively and definitively reset for good.
It's hard to disagree.
~~~
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're wondering when that conversation between Frank and Ryan is going to raise its angsty head.
Well, there was a little more to come before we get there, but honestly? I think we can skip it. This is, after all, what might otherwise be known as the good parts version and you already know my feelings on the boredom of car journeys. So, we'll just slip away from the action for a little bit; past the part where the police escort took the wrong exit off the freeway, past the part where Can You Feel The Love Tonight? came on the stereo and they all started crying so hard again Seth had to pull over for a full five minutes while he got it together again and finally past the frankly clumsy part where Ryan and tried to find a dignified way of manoeuvring Julie and her son out of the car and failed utterly.
Soon, the cord was cut, Julie was resting, Seth had gone with Sophie to look out for his parents et al in the main entrance and Ryan had fortunately found the opportunity to clean himself up a little, and was sitting outside Julie's room waiting for next act to begin.
~~~
Which it does, now:
~~~
The doors at the end of the hall banged back against the wall as Frank rushed through them in search of his family, new and old.
"Ryan?"
"Dad?"
"Ryan," Frank repeated, grabbing his son in the briefest of close hugs he never would have dreamt would have been reciprocated twelve months earlier. "Oh, I am so glad to see you."
"Yeah, me too."
"I thought I couldn't believe it when Julie said she'd gone to Berkeley, but this? This is just crazy."
"Tell me about it. Where are the others? Is Kaitlin with you?"
"She's coming down from the roof, with Bullit, there was only one spot free in the first elevator, they're waiting for the next one. We took a helicopter from the airfield can you believe it? Me, in a helicopter!"
"Up until tonight I'd have said no, but-" Ryan shrugged.
"Weird day, huh?"
"The weirdest."
Frank glanced across the hall at the half-closed door to Julie's room. "Are they?"
"Yeah. Both of them. The nurses are going to take him back to the nursery in a little while, they said they'd wait for you."
"And he's okay?"
"Little on the small side, but otherwise, yeah. He's great."
"Sounds like an Atwood. Small but perfectly formed. You were tiny. I could hold you with one hand, did you know that?"
Ryan shook his head.
"Fitted perfectly."
"Dad?" asked Ryan, a little thrown by seeing the start of tears forming in his father's eyes. "You okay?"
"Oh, I'm fine, I'll be fine. Don't worry." Frank said, giving Ryan a gentle shoulder squeeze of reassurance. He took a deep breath, as if trying to find the way to say it. "It's just… This is just so strange for an old guy like me. Two years, ten years after, I never thought I'd be here."
"Yeah," Ryan said, glancing sideways for a second, "Tell me about it."
"Who I was, what I was, Ryan, I'm not that person anymore-"
"- I know, Dad."
"But sometimes, I get this feeling nesting in my gut and I can't shake it... What if after everything- What if I'm still not ready?"
"You will be," Ryan replied honestly.
"I want so badly to believe that, Ryan, I really do."
"Well, I believe it."
"You do?"
"Yeah. You've changed, Dad," said Ryan, keen for his father to be the man they both knew he could be. "And I know you made mistakes, but I also know you've learned from them."
"I wasn't a good dad before."
"No, you weren't. But you are now and you will be tomorrow and that's all that matters."
"You're really smart, you know that?"
"So people keep telling me."
"I'm going to keep telling you. And all the other things I should have told you."
"You know," Ryan smiled, as the doors down the hall opened again and filled with sounds of eager relatives and he unselfconsciously reached out and hugged his dad properly for the first time in years. "I'm okay with that."
~~~
Okay, so it was short, but it's sweet don't you think? I for one never expected to find these two coming to a real understanding and I'm narrating this three-ringed circus. And you'd think that would be the perfect place to leave things. But we've got one last thing to do first.
Somebody still needs a name.
~~~
And lo, from all over the land (and by land I mean California), there came visitors to see the newborn child, each bringing gifts as befitting such an occasion.
From the child's soon-to-be godparents, there was a fine bottle of champagne for friends and family to share and a fine bottle of Carménère to keep until such time as the child was old enough to legally appreciate it for themselves.
From the honorary uncle and owner of the oil refinery or twenty, there was a corner of Texan sky that one day he could call his own.
From the child's big sister, there was a much loved and much worn bear, stolen from a big sister of her own a long, long time ago and now passed on freely so that the brother she had never lived to see had a part of her to hold and cherish.
And from the father, who had waited so long for his own chance to get it right, there was a promise, more heartfelt, and more humble than any he had ever uttered, that this time, no matter what happened, he would tell his son how much he meant to him, every time he saw him.
"So Ryan," asked Kaitlin, expertly defusing the emotional tension before everyone started crying again, "Was the Circle of Life really on the stereo, or is Seth just making that up?"
"Some stuff even Seth couldn’t have made up."
"That is so cool."
"You're a big sister now. How cool is that?"
"- Stop it," said Kaitlin, swatting at him as she welled up again.
"So Kaitlin, Ryan," said Frank from where he sat next to Julie and their new baby, "I think it's time you found out what your little brother's name is going to be."
"Finally!" exclaimed Kaitlin. "Do you know I've been making her breakfast in bed for a month and she still wouldn't tell me?"
"So," prompted Bullit, "What's the little firecracker's name?"
Julie cleared her throat and looked round at her friends.
"Well, I thought about it a lot. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised that whoever this kid grows up to be, he's not going to get there without the support of his family. And that's all of you. So we talked about it and we came up with something we think sums that up. Everyone," said Julie, beaming down at the tiny baby, "We'd like you to meet Cohen. Cohen Frank Gordon Cooper."
"Cohen? Seriously?" said Seth, his voice brimming with the same pride reflected on the smiles of his parents.
"What do you think?" asked Julie.
"I think Summer's going to have to start calling me Seth."
"I love it. But can I still call him Kid Chino?" asked Kaitlin, gently touching a finger to her brother's soft cheek.
"Only until he's big enough to stop you."
"Works for me."
"Kirsten? Sandy?" asked Frank, seeking not just an answer to his question but a silent affirmation of a new start.
Without hesitation, Sandy slipped a hand round Kirsten's waist and held out his other to Frank, shaking it warmly in his. "We’d be honoured."
"Absolutely," Kirsten consented, laughing. "But as long as you promise never to shorten it to Coco."
"I second that," agreed Ryan. Cohen Frank Gordon Cooper. He could think on it for a thousand years and not be able to be come up with another four words that said so much with so little.
Of the ten people in the room, there wasn't one who didn't deserve to be there, every single one was a piece of a brilliant jigsaw. And now as they laughed and shared in each others happiness, the puzzle was finally completed.
...Since the invention of lingering-looks between once estranged relations and now-unified families coming to an understanding, there have been five looks that were rated the most positive, the most pure.
This one? This one left them all behind.
~~~