It's time to play a game, folks
We're going to see how these different Alan Rickman movies would have ended if Quianna had starred opposite him. I'm sure there will be spoilers so read no further if you don't like them!
Die Hard
Hans Gruber never would have fallen to his death. In fact, he wouldn't have even ended up with a scratch on him if I was the renegade cop who decided to play hero. He simply would have left the building with a mild scolding.
Quigley Down Under
Alan shows off his sharp shooting, then I lead him back to the bedroom so he can demonstrate a different type of sharp shooting. Movie ends an hour and a half earlier.
Truly Madly Deeply
I pine. Movie ends up exactly the same.
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
As Maid Marion, I abandon Robin Hood to marry the Sheriff and do naughty things with him after we're wed. No almost-rape scene; Robin ends them movie by riding off into the sunset a broken and dejected man. All while his merry men chide him for not being able to win the woman.
Close My Eyes
Er..Definitely wouldn't have run off with my brother and had sex. Would have stayed with Alan, given brother brush off, movie therefore has no plot and ends within the first fifteen minutes.
An Awfully Big Adventure
I certainly wouldn't be upset if I found out that Alan was my father...Meredith who?
Sense and Sensibility
I stop playing the piano forte as soon as colonel Brandon walks in. I throw myself at him and he sweeps me off of my feet and I never have a chance to meet Willoughby. Movie ends after a half an hour.
Rasputin
Well..Let's just say that the Russian royalty would still be under his control.
Dark Harbor
I would sit back and watch my husband have dirty dirty sex with the "stray" that we picked up on the side of the road. No need to kill me at all.
Dogma
As the last scion I run off with Metatron (even though he is as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll) seeing as I have holy powers myself. Earth is obliterated, but damn it, I was happy for a little while before it was destroyed!
Blow Dry
Who the hell would turn into a lesbian when you have Alan for a husband? Geez, I'm not that crazy.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry would have run around Hogwarts screaming about Snape's innocence before joining him in his frigid dungeons to warm things up a bit.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Someone needs to nurse those dueling injuries, right?
Love Actually
Well...It's okay that he cheated on me...He is Alan after all.
Something the Lord Made
People thought it was controversial when a black man helped to pioneer a brand new heart surgery. Imagine what they would have thought if the black doctor was sleeping with his white co-worker. O=)
Harry Potter and the Prisonner of Azkaban
Don't lower your wand, sir.
Die Hard
Hans Gruber never would have fallen to his death. In fact, he wouldn't have even ended up with a scratch on him if I was the renegade cop who decided to play hero. He simply would have left the building with a mild scolding.
Quigley Down Under
Alan shows off his sharp shooting, then I lead him back to the bedroom so he can demonstrate a different type of sharp shooting. Movie ends an hour and a half earlier.
Truly Madly Deeply
I pine. Movie ends up exactly the same.
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
As Maid Marion, I abandon Robin Hood to marry the Sheriff and do naughty things with him after we're wed. No almost-rape scene; Robin ends them movie by riding off into the sunset a broken and dejected man. All while his merry men chide him for not being able to win the woman.
Close My Eyes
Er..Definitely wouldn't have run off with my brother and had sex. Would have stayed with Alan, given brother brush off, movie therefore has no plot and ends within the first fifteen minutes.
An Awfully Big Adventure
I certainly wouldn't be upset if I found out that Alan was my father...Meredith who?
Sense and Sensibility
I stop playing the piano forte as soon as colonel Brandon walks in. I throw myself at him and he sweeps me off of my feet and I never have a chance to meet Willoughby. Movie ends after a half an hour.
Rasputin
Well..Let's just say that the Russian royalty would still be under his control.
Dark Harbor
I would sit back and watch my husband have dirty dirty sex with the "stray" that we picked up on the side of the road. No need to kill me at all.
Dogma
As the last scion I run off with Metatron (even though he is as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll) seeing as I have holy powers myself. Earth is obliterated, but damn it, I was happy for a little while before it was destroyed!
Blow Dry
Who the hell would turn into a lesbian when you have Alan for a husband? Geez, I'm not that crazy.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry would have run around Hogwarts screaming about Snape's innocence before joining him in his frigid dungeons to warm things up a bit.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Someone needs to nurse those dueling injuries, right?
Love Actually
Well...It's okay that he cheated on me...He is Alan after all.
Something the Lord Made
People thought it was controversial when a black man helped to pioneer a brand new heart surgery. Imagine what they would have thought if the black doctor was sleeping with his white co-worker. O=)
Harry Potter and the Prisonner of Azkaban
Don't lower your wand, sir.