I agree that there needs to be a balance between relationships online and in person. that being said, a couple of my best friends started off as online friendships and have developed into personal ones. You are right in saying that people can be more harsh and cruel online than they are in person. But sometimes I wonder if they are truly that way in some cases and mask it in i person interactions?
The internet is a wonderful thing is approached with caution. Hey, I would not have met you if not for the net (online thqt is) and this is a good thing. Hugs and I wish they were personal ones!
I guess you are saying the internet can show us the good and bad we are capable of? Perhaps. It's been illuminating and saddening to me. I've learned both "Wow she is so kind!" and "wow, I can't believe so and so would say that or be that insensitive" from knowing some people both online and in person. It's been disheartening in a few cases, especially the one with my in-laws. I always felt, "Well, I may not have many IRL friends but I have my family (including in-laws)" and now..I don't know
( ... )
oh good grief! I do not have many of my family on fb and none here on LJ. It's my space to do what I want and family are just not in the equation.
Yes there are positives and negatives online. Sometimes I express myself more clearly in writing than in person. I can think about my responses and wait to post until I really want to. Sometimes in person relationships can be tricky because those harsh words in person can echo in one's head. Online i can just delete and in drastic circumstances say good bye with the delete and block buttons. Those have rarely happened though.
You didn't offend me. It's a good topic for discussion. hugs.
Well, I ended up blocking a slew of relatives off my FB (this LJ has no in person friends or relatives connected with it.) I do use the delete button as needed. But I am disappointed that seemed necessary. I think I am the same person online and in person so I'd really like to share who I am "all over" with those I care about. But maybe some relationships/friendships should just "stay surface"?
I enjoy the writing process and do feel it helps me think more clearly. I don't think I would give up writing, even if I have a large in person social life.
You may be right in your first comment, that the more you know someone, the more their "true colors" shine through (I think Gary often says something like that when Idol has drama.)
I wonder sometimes what the future will be like. My kids feel their Facebooks and email are part of life. I hope to also teach them how to conduct themself in person and the importance of real life communcations.
I totally agrwith you. I love being online. I have made soooooooo many friends through live journal, and I probably check my email 100 times a day. Lol I love reading about the lives of my friends on live journal. Like you though, I tend to get down when people don't comment, and I have been noticing a lack of comments lately.
I think that people do forget that there are real people on the other side of the computer. We can't do that if the internet is going to be successful. It needs to be a tool we can use to make life better.
I wouldn't give it up though for anything! But at the same time, I never want to take an online class.
I like how you said that interaction is a key to the success of the internet. That's true. Some goals of the internet include communication, understanding and connecting (right?) and if we don't care about others, the internet "fails" (at least in that area of our lives.)
I have taken many online and in person and I really prefer the in person classes. I don't really recommend online classes. I understand their use but the in person classes are a much richer learning experience for me.
I do value my LJ friends (like you:) and do sign in several times a day (most days.)
Internet friendships/family relationships haven't gone all that well for me recently and I guess I'm trying to learn more about how social rules work and how to make my friendships better.
I really appreciate you sharing your perspective!:)
It's the January doldrums in LJ Land, I think. Except for Idol, my FL has been very quiet.
I'm probably closer to more LJ people than I am to people IRL. There are things I've talked about here which I'd never discuss in person, for example. The intimacy I have here is precious, which is why I tend to go nuts whenever somebody proclaims "LJ Is Dead/Long Live FB!" FB is fair-weather cocktail chatter.
Some of the friendships I have here have transferred over to RL. Some of them I know would transfer over to RL if we met face-to-face.
I agree with Bax that there should be a balance, though. I'm lacking that balance. I've never had much of a social life because of my work. Most people my/our age are busy with their families. I still have yet to find my "tribe", so to speak. Where are they? Are they online just like me for the same reason?
I wish I could give you personal hugs, but I'm afraid the virtual ones will have to do :hugs: You bring up so many good questions here! I'm going to have to really think about this.
I also feel closer to LJ people than to IRL people and I discuss things in my journal that I am "not allowed" to discuss in person (my husband is very nervous about sharing much information at all with people, for some reason
( ... )
Face-to-face meetings -- whether it's an online or potential RL friend -- takes effort. It takes effort to get one's self away from the computer and actively seek out people or places, things to do. Back when I was PT at Former Employer I had the time to actually do stuff. I sang in a community chorus. I was part of a community theatre group. I took continuing ed classes. I didn't make any lifelong friendships in any of them, but I did get into groups of people who'd go out for pizza and/or drinks afterward every so often. If all else failed, I could always hop the train and go into the city to wander about
( ... )
I think you're right - while online technology is great in some areas (LJ and Idol, as well as just being able to get information on anything instantaneously!), it can be harmful (it is so easy to be rude in emails, kids watching their peers get beat up, and recording it on camera phones and posting it to Youtube).
No matter what, we definitely need some degree of face-to-face contact (I am pushing so hard to get a Toastmasters club established on campus here is because in-person contact seems to be slowly dying, and so many people just don't seem to realize it/simply do not know how or remember how to communicate in person anymore).
See, you make a good point. If the kids DID NOT HAVE camera phones, do you think it is possible they might have tried harder to break up the fight? I think FB and YouTube often almost seperate us from real life while it is happening. I know many people who do things like, "Do it again so I can take photos for FB." People seem to live less in the moment now and are so conscious of how RL activities might show up in their online footprint..they forget to live. Just BE.
I hope your Toastmaster club works out!
It does seem so many are losing their in person communication skills and though some business etc seems it can be done on Skype and through Wimba, I think we still need to know how to communicate in person.
I really hope your club works out!
Thanks for your comment, you raised some good points.
I'm actually a great deal more in favour of the internet communication than most. 60% of my dearest, most trusted friends I've known online for several years. I've taken the time to visit most of them in person and, a year and a half ago, moved in with my boyfriend, whom I've known for six years in Internetland
( ... )
Comments 49
The internet is a wonderful thing is approached with caution. Hey, I would not have met you if not for the net (online thqt is) and this is a good thing. Hugs and I wish they were personal ones!
Reply
Reply
Yes there are positives and negatives online. Sometimes I express myself more clearly in writing than in person. I can think about my responses and wait to post until I really want to. Sometimes in person relationships can be tricky because those harsh words in person can echo in one's head. Online i can just delete and in drastic circumstances say good bye with the delete and block buttons. Those have rarely happened though.
You didn't offend me. It's a good topic for discussion. hugs.
Reply
I enjoy the writing process and do feel it helps me think more clearly. I don't think I would give up writing, even if I have a large in person social life.
You may be right in your first comment, that the more you know someone, the more their "true colors" shine through (I think Gary often says something like that when Idol has drama.)
I wonder sometimes what the future will be like. My kids feel their Facebooks and email are part of life. I hope to also teach them how to conduct themself in person and the importance of real life communcations.
Reply
I think that people do forget that there are real people on the other side of the computer. We can't do that if the internet is going to be successful. It needs to be a tool we can use to make life better.
I wouldn't give it up though for anything! But at the same time, I never want to take an online class.
Reply
I have taken many online and in person and I really prefer the in person classes. I don't really recommend online classes. I understand their use but the in person classes are a much richer learning experience for me.
I do value my LJ friends (like you:) and do sign in several times a day (most days.)
Internet friendships/family relationships haven't gone all that well for me recently and I guess I'm trying to learn more about how social rules work and how to make my friendships better.
I really appreciate you sharing your perspective!:)
Reply
I'm probably closer to more LJ people than I am to people IRL. There are things I've talked about here which I'd never discuss in person, for example. The intimacy I have here is precious, which is why I tend to go nuts whenever somebody proclaims "LJ Is Dead/Long Live FB!" FB is fair-weather cocktail chatter.
Some of the friendships I have here have transferred over to RL. Some of them I know would transfer over to RL if we met face-to-face.
I agree with Bax that there should be a balance, though. I'm lacking that balance. I've never had much of a social life because of my work. Most people my/our age are busy with their families. I still have yet to find my "tribe", so to speak. Where are they? Are they online just like me for the same reason?
I wish I could give you personal hugs, but I'm afraid the virtual ones will have to do :hugs: You bring up so many good questions here! I'm going to have to really think about this.
Reply
Reply
Reply
No matter what, we definitely need some degree of face-to-face contact (I am pushing so hard to get a Toastmasters club established on campus here is because in-person contact seems to be slowly dying, and so many people just don't seem to realize it/simply do not know how or remember how to communicate in person anymore).
Reply
I hope your Toastmaster club works out!
It does seem so many are losing their in person communication skills and though some business etc seems it can be done on Skype and through Wimba, I think we still need to know how to communicate in person.
I really hope your club works out!
Thanks for your comment, you raised some good points.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment