The Mrmpfle Legacy: Chatper 3.02
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warnings: language
Okay, I know, I suck big ol' monkey testicles. Was that too much? Did I cross a line there? Yea. Probably. Do I care? Yea...kind of. *ashamed face* Things got kind of wild for me...that's a lie. That's a huge lie. I just lost all motivation for like everything in life...why am I telling you this? This is not interesting. OKAY!
previously: There wasn't a real update, it was more of a catch up. Essentially, Cupcake got married and moved out. Squishy got married and moved out. Pumpkin had a baby. Fluffy got a hardcore girlfriend named Claude. Freckles was a vampire, Markus was a ghost hunter and PEanut and Gage kicked ass.
Pumpkin: Oh heeeyyy Janice! How's it going. Wait, you heard what?
Pumpkin had heard through the high school grape vine that Eddie, her boyfriend/baby daddy was cheating on her. At first she didn't really believe it but he had been suspiciously absent since Peaches was born
So she called him. Of course, when she tried to call him and ask him about it, he was conveniently not available.
Meanwhile Fluffy and Claude were partaking in the Mrmpfle's newest drug: the hot tub.
Claude: So, Fluffy, I was thinking we should take our relationship to the next level.
Fluffy: Yea, I am totally down with that. I was thinking we could enroll in a couples inventing course.
Claude: I was thinking more along the lines of....sex.
Fluffy: Yea. Wait...what?!
Fluffy was not so comfortable with this idea. Two teen pregnancies in his family made him think, perhaps, this wasn't the best decision.
Pumpkin: Let's see that cheating scumbag ignore me now!
Since Eddie was screening her calls, Pumpkin decided stalking him was the next best course of action.
Pumpkin: Hello. Eddie.
Eddie: Uhm. Hey. Listen, sorry about not calling you back, I was busy.
Pumpkin: BUSY WITH YOUR NEW TRAMP! I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING! TELL ME WHY YOU'RE IGNORING ME!
Eddie: I didn't exactly sign on for baby duty Pumpkin! I need my ~freedom!
Pumpkin: OHMYGOD! You are such a useless piece of trash! You ditched me and your new baby cause you need "freedom"? What a load!
Eddie: I still really like you, I just need some space. We can still hook up!
Pumpkin: No thanks dickhead. We're through! I don't need this crap! Me and Peaches, we'll be just fine!
So Pumpkin dumped her cheating boyfriend and decided to focus her energy on Peaches.
That, I'm sure, will work out great.
Peaches: Mommy? Gramma? Anyone? *sigh* Forever alone.
Fluffy: Uhm, Claude? I was wondering, I'm not really...uhm....ready. For the whole sex thing. Do you think we could uhm. Wait a bit?
Fluffy was prepared for disaster.
Claude: N'awww. That's cute. Of course it's okay, I kind of like that you're really a sensitive kind of guy. I usually date jerks who set things on fire.
Fluffy: I still like setting things on fire.
Claude: Okay well, there's a difference between blowing things up in a controlled environment, and arson of a government building.
Since Claude had gone to bed, Fluffy decided to watch a late night movie.
Freckles: I swear to god, that girl of mine. Who even looks after this baby?!
Fluffy: I should have just gone to bed.
Pumpkin couldn't be at home though. She had serious, serious things to deal with.
Pumpkin: Look, I know I'm underage, but come on! I dumped my boyfriend tonight! He was cheating on me and I just had his baby! I need a drink! Don't you think I need a drink?
Like I said, serious things to deal with.
Bouncer: Sorry kiddo, I can't do that. Aren't your parents going to be worried?
Pumpkin: Nah, they're fine.
Markus: OHMYGOD MY BABY GIRL IS OUT IN THE WORLD ALL ON HER LONESOME AFTER CURFEWWWWW!!!!!! D:
Pumpkin: Listen, like all teens, I can psychically feel the cops waiting to take me home downstairs so I have to go, but this isn't over! I'll be back and you will let me in.
Bouncer: Whatever you say darling.
[insert segue here]
So Peanut can float now. That's pretty cool.
Also, she switched to the athletic career track and they are working her to the bone! Those heartless bastards.
Gage is still gardening. Mostly he's harvesting fire things and life fruits.
I couldn't remember what life fruits did, because I am deficient sometimes. So I had Gage eat one, and then I remembered what they did. Oh well! You can never have too much Gage.
The morning after Claude slept over was a little awkward.
Markus: Did you sex my son? Are you pregnant? If you're pregnant, tell me now.
Claude: *cough*hack*cough* WHAT?!
Markus has gotten a little paranoid about babies, but who can blame him?
This is when things got weird. Peanut got very very ill, and I had no idea why. She was puking constantly, and since she's so old, I was quite worried about her.
Pumpkin has decided that maybe spending time with Peaches isn't so bad. She's even started teaching her some skills.
And that is a huge step up, since this pretty much used to be the norm for Peaches.
Peaches: I hate my life.
I think Pumpkin was feeling the pressure of her impending adulthood. So Freckles through her a big birthday party.
And Squishy made the whole thing super awkward by getting into a fight with a skinny dipper.
But he got his ass kicked. Which is pretty much to be expected.
Pumpkin: Yes, this is how it should be, everyone paying attention to me.
Claude still does not like Pumpkin. I do not know why. Fluffy still thinks it's hot.
This. This concerns me. I don't want Freckles eating her sister-in-law.
Deirdre: I feel like someone is watching me...
Also. CUPCAKE! :D
Markus: I feel like something is happening. Am I missing something?
Pumpkin: Ooooh. Sparkles.
Ryker: This shit is getting boring.
So this is Pumpkin as an adult. I can't remember her traits but, does anyone really care?
Okay, Pumpkin isn't a perfect parent yet. Peaches spent the whole day in the house, but at least she had a toy to play with.
Remember when Peanut was puking all day a bit ago? Well I found out why here. She was pregnant. I KNOW! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?! Well it's not, and she glitched the fuck out. Gage was upset.
Gage: I don't know what I've done. Why won't you even look at me? Fine. Be that way, I'm going to bed!
Peanut: Please help
Someone else happened to have a birthday that day too.
Markus: I was not prepared for this.
Markus: Oh yea baby. Daddy cool here.
Freckles: Well this is hilarious.
I promise, I do fix this, but I just had to get a shot of him in his work outfit. This. Is. Awesome.
I really love the scenery in this game.
Fluffy has taken the collection helper for one reason, and one reason only.
He finally invented the collection...thingy. So he spent the night hunting down rocks and collecting them. It was less fun or effective than I thought.
Markus: You're turning into your sister! What is this about? Staying out past your curfew!
Fluffy: Dad, I was collecting rocks and gems. You know, trying to add to the family income?
Markus: Well, still. You shouldn't be...breaking curfew...go to bed!
In case anyone was wondering, Porkchop and Squishy live in these cute little houses with their families.
Also, the Mrmpfle maid is a typical, useless maid. WHO USES GAGE OR PEANUT'S TOOTHBRUSH.
Fluffy decided to skip school today, because he's rebellious. And also because he loves his Grandma.
Seriously, they joked around in their PJs in the kitchen for hours until Peanut finally had to go to work. It was pretty cute.
It was a day of family bonding for Fluffy, after hanging out with his grandmother he then went and played with his niece for a bit.
Peaches: What is this? Why is someone holding me?
I forgot to point out Markus' makeover.
Markus: I look pretty awesome. Don't deny it. This work uniform is so cool.
It really isn't.
Even the ghosts laugh at him.
But they freak the fuck out if he suggests that they peacefully cross over. Markus has yet to get rid of a ghost without using the banshee banisher.
Pumpkin had actually been living up to her personal goal of spending more time with Peaches but she felt she needed some girl time. So she called up her bestest friend ever in the whole wide word.
Who happened to be her aunt Kirby. (I love Kirby btw, I'm so glad she married Porkchop, fuck I love them.)
Kirby: So what's up Pumpkin? You sounded kind of distressed on the phone.
Pumpkin: Distressed? No. Freaking out a little bit? Yea. Maybe. Uhm well, I've been seeing this new guy, sort of. Okay well, we've not really so much been 'dating' as just 'sleeping together occasionally' and well...I'm pregnant.
Kirby: Again?! Goddamn, Fertile Myrtle.
Pumpkin: That's from Juno.
Mystery guy was (shit I've forgotten his name...) bouncer from the club Pumpkin tried to con her way into after her and Eddie broke up. True to her word, she went back and tried to get in, a lot. And then, after she aged up, things sort of progressed from there.
To here. Sex in an elevator. You can't say Pumpkin isn't classy. Oh wait. You can.
Pumpkin: So yea, I don't know what to do.
Kirby: You need to call him. Like, right away.
Pumpkin: Do I though? I mean, I had a baby with Eddie and look how that turned out. Maybe he never needs to know.
Kirby stared pointedly until Pumpkin realized, yes, he needs to know. So she called him over.
(damn I wish I could remember his name. FUCK!)
Bouncer: So, not that isn't lovely actually having a real date with you for once, I kinda got the feeling that you needed to talk about something.
Pumpkin: Yea...about that... I'm pregnant.
Bouncer: It's a lovely night tonight isn't it?
Pumpkin: Didn't you hear me?
Bouncer: Yeeeaaaaaaaa. I did. I guess this isn't like that racoon in my wall eh? This is one issue I can't just ignore.
Pumpkin: I don't...I don't really think you should ignore that raccoon issue either...that sounds serious.
Bouncer and Pumpkin stayed up really late talking and so he stayed the night. And was then confronted by Freckles the next morning.
Freckles: So, I understand you're dating my daughter now, and that you got her pregnant.
Bouncer: How did you know that? I thought- Pumpkin is still asleep and I just woke up.
Freckles: I have excellent hearing. That's not the point. Point is, you planning on taking care of this baby?
Bouncer: Listen, you don't have a thing to worry about. I don't know what's going to happen with Pumpkin and I, but I do know that I intend to be in this kid's life.
Freckles: That's fine, all I'm saying is, I'm a vampire with super-human strength and you will be the last guy to fuck over my daughter k? Understand?
Bouncer: I think so...
Freckles: Good.
Today I had to follow Fluffy to school. He skips nearly ever day and has a D presently. He skips out to go to the scrapyard or to invent.
Fluffy: It's cool and hardcore to skip school.
Anna: Yea well, last time you skipped, you stayed home and chatted it up with your Gramma so...not so tough now.
This time around, Pumpkin was enjoying her pregnancy much more. She learned the joys of sweat pants and video games and pwning no0bz.
Of course, she had to take time out to make a case at City Hall. Someone had spread rumours that she was seen getting frisky in an elevator.
Pumpkin: I didn't win. This is total bullshit!
Anna: Well technically, the rumour is completely accurate.
Pumpkin: Fuck off.
Fluffy got invited over to some kid's house after school, but no one was home. Just this lone toddler.
Fluffy: Man, whoever owns this kid is almost as bad as Pumpkin.
Yes, babies are owned now.
After her failed court case Pumpkin rolled the desire for a girl, and since she isn't heir, I indulged her. And people stood around and watched her stuff her face with watermelon, and judged her for being a total floozy. The joys of having famous sims -___-
After that, time in the household was pretty much normal. Another goldfish died.
The gnome developed a passion for Childish Gambino.
Gnome: 'Took the 'g' outchyo waffle all you got left is yer ego' *break dances*
Gage snuck off at every opportunity to play racing games.
That is, when he and Peanut weren't breaking the hot tub with their passionate endeavours.
Freckles continued to paint like a madwoman and Pumpkin actually read a pregnancy book.
When Gage wasn't acting like a child, and breaking expensive water features, he was inexpertly staking out the consignment store. Because no one will notice the 90 year-old-man with bushes in front of him in the furniture section of the store. No one.
And then it was birthday time.
Actually I lied. Birthdays were cancelled momentarily because Pumpkin decided to go into labour.
I just love their synchronized freaking out. Pumpkin doesn't seem to agree with me.
After that little hiccup was taken care of we got back to birthdays. Oh yea, right, Pumpkin had a girl, you'll see her shortly. HELLO! BIRTHDAYS! GOD!
First up was Fluffy, and I love him most dearly.
Next came Peaches.
She turned out much better than I expected.
And lastly, Iron, the new baby. She made me momentarily regret not choosing Pumpkin for heir. Butit's okay. She can go be sexy elsewhere in my hood. Did I just call a toddler sexy? Well that was creepy.
Since she had two babies, a baby daddy who was willing to stick around, and she wasn't heir, Pumpkin decided it was time to go. Also, Gage had become unselectable with all the new people.
Pumpkin: K Dad, I'm out.
Gage: Mmhmm, this cake is delicious. You should have some.
Without so much as a goodbye from her family, Pumpkin left the house. Notice her family in the background, no caring.
Freckles wasn't even at the house! Instead of going home for mass birthday celebrations, she stayed late after work.
To play catch with a stranger.
Riley Morris: Pfft. I am way more famous than her.
Sims be jealous of Freckles' fame.
Claude had become an adult a few days earlier, so now that they could be together again, Fluffy invited her over.
Claude: I don't mean to be rude but...what did you do to your hair?
Fluffy: Like it? It's pretty hardcore right?
Claude: No. But I love you anyway.
This was Fluffy's moment. He knew that Claude was the one, who else would accept him as he was?
Claude: Fluff? What're you doing?
Fluffy: I was thinking that you're pretty cool, and I really love you and all, and I think it would be rad if you would marry me.
Claude: Holy fuck.
Ever the lady.
Fluffy: Yea, I'm pretty awesome eh?
Claude: At this exact moment, yes, yes you are.
So Claude and Fluffy decided to get married the next day.
But there was one issue.
For whatever reason, Claude decided to show up naked.
Claude: I can rock it. Whatever.
Fluffy: Uh...baby. You look great and all but uhm, maybe a uh, dress would be uhm, more uh...appropriate.
Things got fixed and Claude finally got into a dress, much to the relief of the rest of the family.
Can I just point out that they make a heart here? It's pretty adorable.
And the cuteness didn't stop. They spent the rest of the night dancing and making out.
Also, I love the bubble machine. It just makes everyting so much prettier.
Oh and Freckles had a special wedding gift for Fluffy.
Fluffy: Hurk!
So! That's it for this update. Sorry again it took so long to get out. I'm such a failure at life. Also, just so you know, I've decided to make every heir a vampire, so they can have skilling machine vampire babies, and then, once the children are born, unvampire them. Does that make sense? Do you follow what I'm doing? Well, you will when you see it. So yea! Hopefully I'll have another update out soon. LOVE YOU GUYS FOR LIKE REALZEEZ!