The Mrmpfle Legacy: Chatper 3.04
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warnings: language
previously: Pretty much everyone died. It was fucking Game of Thrones up in this bitch. Freckles stopped being a vampire. Fluffy started being one. Fluffy and Claude had a baby named Muffin, and then later, twins named Panda and Pebble. Freckles decided to cope with her parent's beheading deaths with sex and of course popped out one more baby named Pea. Oh and Fluffy terrorized his neighbours by blowing a lot of shit up.
Once again Markus was put in charge of training the children.
He was a lot happier about it this time. Thankfully.
Since Muffin and Pea are so close in age, I was really hoping they would be the best of friends.
Pea: You know that playing with blue blocks will give you brain damage right? I read it on this website. The internet never lies.
Muffin: What the-
Pea had other intentions however.
Muffin: Aunt Pea, I don't understand how you're so confused by this. Not everything you read on the internet is true.
20 minutes later and Muffin is still trying to explain what whats-her-face Hasselback still hasn't learned. It's true. I read it on the internet. It's true.
Pea: But I don't understand, why would twilightluver97 lie to me about that?
Muffin: *sigh* BECAUSE SHE IS LE STUPID!
Fluffy is having a better night. And Gage is ever faithfully watching over him.
Gage: Booyeah! Nice stretch son!
Stinky poop lines? Check. Still taking a picture because poop face is adorable? Oh yea. Check baby.
This. This is more funny than anything.
Freckles: Oh god. This is so humiliating.
Let us begin what I like to call the many awesome faces of Claude.
I believe it's cause she's over-emotional, either way. Isn't she so cute?
Claude: *wibble* I'm not cute, I'm hardcore.
Freckles and Markus try to autonomously Risky Woohoo probably a good 10 times in a day.
Markus: Hey baby, whaddaya say we do some dirty work at the crossroads and drop the french letter hmm?
Freckles: What?
Markus: You know. Do a flop, sans raincoat. I could fix your plumbing but I don't need no gasket! Have a flesh session without a showercap. I could put my stinger in your flower and I hope you'll let me pollinate.
Anna: NO! NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO! NO!
Here's Panda making her first appearance.
Panda: Whatchu lookin' at huh?
These toddlers seem much less aggrieved by the lack of attention all legacy toddlers receive. All my legacy toddlers anyway. Once they go in those cribs it's like "Babies? What babies?"
Claude: Don't listen to the mean old narrator bebe. Mummsy-wummsy would never leave you- oh god. Why am I talking like this?
Maid: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD *hyperventilates* CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?
The maid decided to be all:
Freckles: Are we going to have to go through this every day? *sigh*
Maid: I cannot wait to tell Candy and Chanelle all about this. They will never believe that I actually cleaned Freckles Mrmpfle's toilet!
Claude: Bitch. Get in hurrr!
Fluffy made a harvester. Guess what! Doesn't work on vegetables. Bull. Shit.
MINOR TRAMPOLINE SPAM! :D YAAAAAAYYYY!
Fluffy has the LTW to max three skills. So he's done inventing already, now he's working on fitness and handiness, so I have him upgrading everything in the house.
Fluffy: Oh yea bathtub, who's a big man now huh? Who? WHO?!
Robert: *yawn* What am I doing at this crappy house?
Pea: Hey Robert! Want to play with me? We can play Aliens and Tin Hats.
Robert: Oh god, that's right. I'm at the freak's house. I had blocked that out.
Pea doesn't have many friends. She's a lovely girl, really, but sometimes...she just gets weird on people. And aggressive...
Ghost hunting, like a boss.
Know who else is hanging out like a boss? Gage. He's a pimping ghost.
Gage: Booyeah!
Okay. He's..a pretty cool ghost.
Freckles was missing her dad and since I have effectively put the kibosh on any and all baby inducing sexual activities, she decided to go catch up with him. It was an awkward conversation.
Freckles: So. Death.
Gage: Yup. I'm pretty dead.
Sad faces are sad in tandem.
These twins are pretty adorable, so let's commence with the spam! YEA BABY!
And end spam! DOUBLE YEA BABY!
Markus: *sneak sneak*
Freckles: What are you doing?
Markus: *sneaky sneaky sneak*
Freckles: Seriously. I am holding our grandchild. What are you doing?
Markus: hehehe! She'll never know what hit her!
Freckles: *sigh* I'm leaving. Zap me, and I'll harm you. Physically.
They got a moodlet manager. Markus was pretty stoked to try it out brosephina. Chaaww.
It was around this time that I realized that Markus could locate spirits in the day time and sell them for money dollars. It's only been what, like, 20 some sim years?
And that night at work it was the case of the possessed bathroom. OooOOoooOO! Floating toilet!
Sometimes, Pea can be a raging lunatic. Sometimes, she can be incredibly endearing.
Muffin: Hey, hi, uhm. I can be adorable too.
Muffin: See? Taadaaa! Cuteness!
On top of that, he also spends time with his siblings. Of his own volition. Older brother of the year award or what?
The next morning Claude woke up feeling pretty wobbly in the heart. Weepy. Morose.
Claude: I am not weepy! I'm just *sniffle* sick and tired of being cooped up in this house!
Fluffy took pity on her and promised her a date night.
See? Isn't she being soft and wibbly?
Muffin was pretty excited about the whole thing.
Muffin: Hell yea man! King of the castle! I rule the house while my parents are away!
Anna: You know your grandparents are going to be here right? Babysitting you and your siblings.
Muffin: Oh. Less cool.
After he was done playing video games and getting ready for bed, he went to sit in the living room to wait for his parents to get home. But he fell asleep before they got back.
Fluffy: Ohhhh hurry up! I have to pee! IhavetopeeIhavetopeeIhavetoPEE!!!
Claude: This is my life. *facepalm*
Near accident downstairs aside, Fluffy did show Claude a good time.
Claude: So I just suck it like this?
Fluffy: Heh. Yeaaaaa. That's the way. *giggles*
Fluffy is the paragon of maturity. Clearly.
I love the bubble table/oxygen bar/whatever it's called animations.
Claude: Teehee. Pretty bubbles.
Fluffy: Here, drink this.
It really seems like Fluffy is trying to get Claude very, very wasted.
But she's helping him along. So I guess it's okay.
Pretty much all my bartenders in town are old, but they still know how to work it so I can't complain. Rawr.
Fluffy's plan to get Claude to loosen up definitely worked.
Claude: Thanks for this. I'm having a great time baby.
Fluffy: Me too.
They partied hard in the empty club.
(I am still disappointed that there is pretty much never anyone at the clubs.)
Claude: Hey Fluffy?
Fluffy: Yea?
Claude: You should push that close door button.
Claude got a little more drunk that intended.
When they got home, Fluffy went straight to bed but Claude was all about the midnight snack binge. Ooooohh how many of my drunken nights have ended this way?
None. I'm allergic to dairy.
The next morning it was time for Pea to become a teenager.
Pea: Hmmm. I wonder if now the government will put a tracking chip in my skull so they can keep track of my every move. *gasp* Or maybe cospiracynut09 was lying about that too! OH NOES!
Freckles is the only one who doesn't seem too impressed.
Freckles: Meh. Seen it all a million times.
I take that back. Fluffy doesn't really care either.
Pea is pretty attractive, I won't lie. She reminds me a bit of Pumpkin, but I think got more of her mum's eyes and less of her dad's jaw.
Since Pea has grown into teenagerdom, Muffin had to find himself a new friend.
Pig!Tails: Muffin, what did you get for 4b)? I'm really having trouble.
Muffin: Omg. I'm reading about Kate and William's wedding. Who cares about math?
Pig!Tails: Who cares about stupid weddings?
Muffin: I DO! SHUT UP! IT WAS A GLORIOUS EVENT WITH AWESOME AND HILARIOUS HATS!
In case anyone was wondering, Muffin's favourite colour is pink and his favourite music in pop music. Clearly he's gonna dig William and Kate.
Shortly after being appointed by nature as able to reproduce Pea hauled out the excavator and started drilling in the backyard. Forgetting that her brother sleeps during the day.
Fluffy: Sister, dear, kindly go fuck yourself.
She didn't do that. Fuck herself I mean. She was too busy digging to the middle of the world. Like a boss.
Wait for it....
No, I'm kidding.
Pea: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD! LOLJK! Digging for treasure y'all!
Pig!Tails: Okay so, can you explain the rules to me one more time?
Muffin: Omg. No. You clearly won't get them. Surely someone explained to you that you do not wear spandex shorts with a sports bra at 8 but you didn't seem to get that lesson so I'm not bothering with teaching you chess. GOODNIGHT!
Muffin is entering that moody, pre-teen stage of life. But I get it. I hate when people where spandex shorts and sports tops as every day clothes too. Lady, no one wants to see your camel toe.
Gage is around pretty much every night. Damn! How awesome is he? Meditating in the after life? He is the chillest mother fucker around!
Pea: Ooohhoo. I'm a big baby. I get sad because people lie to me on the internet.
Pea: BITCH! I WILL FUCK YOU UP! Call me a baby one more time! Do it! Come on! You wanna fight? Do ya? Huh? Huh?
Pea: Don't test me man. Don't push your luck. I. Will. Destroy you!
Pea: *rageface*
Pea pretty much only has bad conversations with herself. Never happy ones. Just angry and violent.
Muffin is pretty much the exact opposite. It was Saturday and he wanted to be Adventurer Extraordinaire so he went out and caught some bugs. We sold all but the pretty ones.
Meanwhile the twins stayed home...obviously...and played with their toys. Do I hear you saying "Can we have more spam please?" WHY YES YOU CAN!
I WANT TO EAT THEIR FACES! In like, a totally harmless, loving, friendly, appropriate way.
Oh yea, end spam.
Since Pea was just arguing with herself all morning I sent her to the pool. She met this kid. Who is the child of a sim I made I think. Yea, he is. Andi Fiske from this post. I didn't mean for babies for any of them but hey! He's cute!
Pea thinks so too.
Pea: So, uhm. Nice day out huh? It's a fine looking day.
James: Mmmhmm. Very fine.
I think he might think she's pretty cute too.
Markus found the babies. Sometimes he is just too easy to please.
James had to leave and then Pea got freaked out at the pool. I think it might have something to do with how her body got all wonky from the water.
So she went home to hot tub naked.
Freckles: Can I join you?
Because there is nothing more normal than hot-tubbing, naked, with your mum. Nothing.
Because I love the fire-pits, I got one for the family and let Markus do the honour of being the first to light it.
Claude came out to join him and roasted some marshmellows.
Best first attempt at roasted marshmallows ever.
At this point I noticed the toilet was missing.
No like, legit. It's there, but it's not.
Oh and Pea is just vomiting because. Well, I don't know why, but I do know it's not because she's pregnant. That'd be impossible. Unless she Mary 2.0 or something.
Pea: So like, earlier, I was barfing in the invisible toilet because like, how awesome is that? And I was thinking how every time I walk by your kids' room, it makes me want to barf. Funny story right?
Claude: Stupid Pea. Fucking talking smack about my kids.
To be fair. This room smells awful. Even Pebble agrees.
We got a food replicator and Markus became the official "Make lots of food and store it" guy. We're working on a better title.
Meanwhile, Claude has taken to thanking Fluffy for his help with the garden with wildly inappropriate displays of affection.
Me guesta.
Finally it's twin birthday time!
Claude: Why is she holding my baby? Why am I not the one holding the baby? What is this fuckery?!
Typical cross eyed age up shot.
Panda grew up. Yadda yadda. There is more interesting shit going down.
For instance this.
Markus: Aheh. No thank you Claude.
Claude:Come on! What's the big deal? I just wanted a nice, tight hug.
Markus: I'm married. That's the big deal.
Claude: So am I. Why so uptight Gramps?
I do not know where this came from. At all. CLAUDE YOU'VE BROKEN MY HEART!
Also. Here is Panda. She grew up and saw the whole thing.
Freckles missed it cause she had run off to grab Pebble for his birthday turn.
Herpa Derp.
Pebble: Herp derp?
Herp derp.
Maid: Heeeyyy. I heard there were sexy times going on in here!
Maid: Oh, nevermind. It's just a newly popped pregnant woman who is slowly realizing she tried to cheat on her faithful, loving husband with her father in law in front of her young child on said child's birthday.
Claude: I can fire you you know.
Weeeeeeelllll. That's all. Sorry this took so long. Sorry it was so shit. I'm tired. I have a migraine. I'm hopped up on Tylenol 3 and Game of Thrones gifs. PEACE OUT Y'ALL! ABRUPT EXIT IS ABRUPT! BAM!