The Mrmpfle Legacy: Chatper 3.07
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warnings: language
previously: Tickle was tickled and grew up into a child with his Imaginary Friend (Boinky), the twins were creepy and always with each other, Muffin and Frances started officially dating at Prom, Claude became old, Fluffy tried to learn magic, and the twins became teenagers and decided they would both date the same person. Awesome.
Since Pebble randomly zapped back to the house Panda was left alone at Kaleo's house. Obviously she couldn't stick around and talk to Kaleo without Pebble. That would be weird and awkward and the twins just don't do weird and awkward. So she left for home.
Well. She was taken home by the police.
Left for home, arrested, really, it's the same thing.
Gage was out and about and lurking when Panda was dropped off at home.
Gage: Younguns? Out after curfew? WHAT ARE THESE SHEENANAGINS?!
Gage: FRUIT OF MY LOINS! I thought you should know that your grand-daughter was out past curfew.
Freckles: Dad, I don't really care.
Gage: But Daughter! SHEENANIGANS!
Freckles: *sigh* Fine, I'll tell her parents but really. You're a ghost! Shouldn't you be doing ghostly things?
I wish she hadn't suggested that. Gage haunted Claude and Fluffy's bathtub all night.
Although Freckles didn't really seem to care about Panda staying out past curfew she did tell Claude and Fluffy about it, as promised. Apparently it was a family affair. If Panda was there, Pebble would be too, and Fluffy, well, who knows what he was doing.
Claude: I can't believe you would do this! Your father and I never did things like this! NEVER!
Anna: She's lying.
Panda: I'm sorry Mum! I didn't mean to! I just lost track of time!
Claude: A likely story! A likely story indeed!
Claude has her srs bzns face on. Or her "bitch please" face. Either way, I'd not want to be on the receiving end.
Pebble: Mum! You can't be mad at just Panda! It was an accident. Besides, if I hadn't magically teleported back here for no reason, I would have been there too. If you're going to get her in trouble you might as well get me in trouble too.
Claude: Fine, you're both grounded. Now go to bed.
Pebble: Damn, that didn't really work how I wanted it to.
Back in their room the twins discussed their not date.
Pebble: Did he seem sad that I'd gone? How do you think it went? Do you think he'll go for us?
Panda: I think he's hesitant. I think we'll need to go the friend route first but, I think we'll win him over. Stay strong meesameeso. We'll win him over yet. He may resist at first, but eventually we'll wear him down and he'll have no choice but to accept our arrangement.
Sometimes, they take creepy to new levels.
Fluffy is still working on the potions thing. Being the resident skilling sim Fluffy gets saddled with all these new responsibilities.
Fluffy: I love potions. I love potions. I love potions! I love potions! Potions are great! Potions are awesome! I love potions! I love poooottttiiiooonnnsss! /singing
It's a real burden for him.
For some reason that is entirely unknown to me, Muffin gets in trouble pretty much constantly.
Freckles: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THAT MUFFIN! IT IS TOTALLY SHOCKING! I AM SO DISAPPOINTED!
Muffin: I don't even know what I did Grandma! Just tell me! I'm sorry!
Freckles: I DON'T KNOW EITHER BUT HOO BOY IT WAS A DOOZY!
I think it's related to school. *gets up on soap box* Mmkay. Here's my beef. With three teenagers in the house for whatever reason there is always a backlog for the bus. Always. So they are always late. And then like, one hour late and suddenly they are "skipping school" and the damn kids are always getting yelled at. HAVE SOME PITY HERE PEOPLE! PLEASE! THINK OF THE CHILDREN! /rant
Speaking of thinking of the children. Tickle is becoming more neglected by the day.
Tickle: I'm just so hungry and lonely and sad.
No really. Claude loves her children. That's just her default face. Her default is annoyed. It's not her fault.
Panda: Okay here's the plan. We get off at the pool and we make a break for it. We can't be stuck at the house if we never make it there. You know Mum and Dad will watch us like hawks if we actually get home and then we'll never get out to see Kaleo.
Pebble: Yea, I don't really think Dad will be paying much attention, but I'm sure someone would notice if we tried to leave. You're right. We need to make a run for it while we can!
Since they are both grounded, they decide that a dramatic tuck and roll from the bus is the best choice. Or just asking the bus driver to stop and let them off. Whichever works.
Panda: Okay, now that we're here I don't know if this was such a good idea. Oh man. When we get home Mum is going to be so pissed. What if she makes us sleep in separate rooms?! OH GOD THIS IS ALL GOING TO END HORRIBLY!
Pebble: Hey, hey. Calm down. It's okay, you know I'll be there for you no matter what. Now, like we planned. Let's go stalk Kaleo.
Kaleo: Oh, you two again. Hurm. Okay well, I guess you can come if you want.
Pebble&Panda: Of course.
Pebble: Don't be silly.
Panda: Obviously we're coming in.
Kaleo: Okay but, don't do that...talking...thing. Where you finish each others sentences and speak at the same time. It's creepy.
"It's creepy." It's like the twins' motto or something.
Speaking of creepy.
No? Not creepy? Okay well, either way. BIRTHDAYS! IT'S BIRTHDAY TIME!
OH! WHO'S CREEPY NOW! YEA! THAT'S RIGHT! IT'S THIS KID!
Muffin: Hmmm. You look different than before. Oh well! Tralalala
Boinky also had a birthday. She's pretty excited about it.
Tickle: Hmmm, I feel like something is happening behind me. I wonder what it could be.
Oh nothing, just your imaginary friend having a birthday. NBD.
Claude had been neglecting her garden but since we've got some mad money trees it seemed appropriate that she spend some time with them.
Claude: *grumble*mutter* I hate this stupid garden.
She's become a real ray of sunshine in her old age.
Panda: Pebble looks like he's got this. I'll go do homework and let him handle the Kaleo seduction today.
The twins have decided to switch off on The Great Spouse Seduction so they get equal time with him.
Pebble: Kaleo, thank you for letting us into your home. I wanted to give you a gift to say thank you!
Pebble: FLOWERS! Pretty, lovely purple flowers to say how much I love and appreciate you.
Kaleo: OH GOD NO GET THEM AWAY FROM ME!
Things were not going well. Kaleo was resisting at every turn and breaking poor little Pebble's heart. That bastard. We are officially going to own this motherfucker.
HE WILL BE OURS!
Fluffy: Aww, isn't that cute. Tickle is having a pillow fight with himself.
Fluffy tends to be pretty unaware of what's happening around him like, basically, all the time.
However, he hands out potions like it's his job so I'm cool with it.
Freckles: BAM! Dropping that shit like a boss!
When the twins finally made it home from Kaleo's (before curfew of course) Claude decided it was time to teach them to drive. In her underwear.
Claude: Okay, just ease up on the clutch and give it a little gas.
Panda: I really feel this would be easier if you had pants on. Or a shirt. Either/or would be fine with me. Really.
Pebble woke up the next morning in a funk.
Pebble: Kaleo rejected me repeatedly and then Mum taught Panda how to drive and I wasn't allowed to join them. LIFE IS UNFAIR!
Claude decided to make it up to him by pillow fighting with him. SEE! She does love her kids!
Pebble: HAHAHA! THIS IS SO MUCH FUN! IT'S WAY BETTER THAN DRIVING!
I feel like my gnomes are multiplying, springing forth fully formed from the ether. Seriously. That vampire bitch? I don't even know where she came from.
Since his last date with Frances didn't go so well Muffin has made it his life's goal to take Frances on the best goddamn date ever. Flower, candles, romantic dinners, sneaking into clubs and getting dragged home by the cops, everything. He's pulling out all the stops.
He's also set up his prom crown and his picture of him and Frances on his desk. It's pretty much the cutest thing ever.
Although Tickle is now mostly self-sufficient he still struggles with the whole "starving" thing.
Tickle: Captain's log. Day #4, still no food sightings. I fear I'll once again be forced to raid the giant cold box in the living area where food preparation is fabled to happen. Captain Tickle over and out.
Later that night when Freckles got off work it was finally time for her to join the ranks of the elderly.
Notice that her niece is there to cheer her on. How thoughtful! Of course one of Porkchop's kids would be kind enough to do that.
In case you're wondering, that is Jenna Mrmpfle, the youngest daughter of Porkchop and Kirby.
Freckles: Oh hey! This isn't so bad. I love these pants. Tres chic.
Anna: No. Just...no. For work it's one thing but not for life!
Freckles: Oh hello dear grand-daughter. How are you this evening? Did you have a lovely time with your brother today? I know how close you two are. I think it's sweet.
Panda: Uh...thanks..Grandma.
Apparently old age has made Freckles nicer.
Just wanted to take a time out to say that this is Markus jogging. Yup. Jogging. With his mullet. It's fantastic.
When Markus got home from his lively, vigorous jog he met the newly aged Freckles. He liked what he saw.
Markus: Hey there sexy lady, how bout we got knock hip replacements hmmm?
Freckles: *giggle* heehee okay!
The next day Pebble was still in his funk so he skipped school and went to some hangout to binge drink.
Pebble: I saw horrible things this morning.
Anna: Ah.
I've got nothing against elderly love-making, and truth be told, in the case of Freckles and Markus it's actually a relief because they can waste their days humping and I need not worry about potential babies. However, that being said, seeing your own grandparents groping in the kitchen is probably something most people never want to see.
Pebble: Tell me about it. It hink I need Purel for my brain. It's been all day and still it's just burned in there.
SEE! NEW VAMPIRE!GNOME! GET BACK BITCH!
Also, it seems like they are hunting down my Mr. Gnomes. Something dark and insidious is going on here. I can feel it.
That night it was Panda's turn with Kaleo. She invited him over and decided to take a quick shower before he showed up. Of course, Pea, being the uber!dick that she is, had been at the all the water-based appliances that day.
Panda: Hmm, something feels off.
Panda: OH GOD! MY LIFE IS OVER!
Panda: I'm going to kill that blue-haired bitch.
Panda: Listen here you psychotic, peg-legged bitch! YOU'VE RUINED MY HAIR!
Panda remains true to her word. At least, I guess she intends to kill Pea metaphorically speaking, with her words.
Pea: Oooooo. I'm Panda and I'm a pointy-eared vampire who's having an incestuous relationship with my twin. Oh I think I'm so special and clever and wonderful and everybody loves me.
Panda: This isn't over you asshat. You brought my brother into this and you messed with my hair. Now it's personal.
Panda: Hey, listen Kay. I'm glad you could come and everything, but my dickhead aunt fucked with my hair today and I look a right mess, so I'd understand if you didn't want to come in.
Kaleo: No it's fine, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a green skinned, blue haired alien. Besides, I think the colour looks nice on you.
Since our previous tactics of overwhelming sex-appeal and flirting weren't working, we've decided to go with the friends first approach. He can't say no to that!
Yes, I'm aware I am now referring to myself and the twins in the plural pronoun 'we'. They've dragged me into this.
Middle of the night and Peanut decides that the computer in the living room just isn't good enough anymore. Oh no! She's just got to play GTA on Tickles computer in his new room.
It's okay though, he can always play with Boinky, who has now won herself over to my good graces. She hates Pea too.
I mean, she really dislikes Pea. Really.
Tickle: Hahaha! Did you see what Pea did to Panda's hair? She's such a loser isn't she?
Boinky: Haha! Yea! We really hate her.
Tickle: I love hating people with you.
Fluffy made a new magic gnome. This one I like. I know where he came from. He's now officially my spy. He'll report back to me on all the comings and goings of the vampire!gnomes. It's a foolproof plan!
Pea: YAY! It's my birthday today! Finally I'll be free of the tyranny of adults!
Anna: Yup, and you'll be free of this house. Adult birthday means you get the boot.
Pea: Wait, what?!
That's right, Pea is outta here soon enough!
Pea: Yea well, I'm still fierce as phuq.
I have to admit, Freckles and Markus made some damn fine babies.
I was at least nice and gave her a kick ass makeover before she was unceremoniously ejected from the house. I mean literally. I just kicked her out.
Panda and Muffin had some special awards ceremony at the school that Pebble, for whatever reason, was not invited to. So he waited outside for the whole two hours.
Pebble: Panda! I'm so glad you're back! I was so lonely without you!
Panda: Oh, hey Kaleo.
Pebble: We were wondering if you wanted to come over later.
Kaleo: You two are strange, but sure. I'm down with that.
Panda&Pebble: Cool. See you then.
Kaleo: ...I could've sworn we'd talked about that.
When the kids got home Markus unleashed his senile fury on Pebble.
Markus: HOW DARE YOU COME HOME AFTER CURFEW! DAMN KIDS! GET OFF MY LAWN!
Pebble: Grampa! It's still early evening, what are you talking about?
Markus: OH! YOU'RE GIVING ME SASS NOW?! THAT'S IT! NO TV FOR YOU! GET INSIDE!
Pebble: Uhm, okay Grampa. I'm sorry?
Markus: *grumble* Damn straight that boy is sorry. Oh hey. My shiny sense is going off. THARR BE GEMS!
I genuinely am concerned about Markus
.Pebble was still rather moody, and now that Pea was gone it was just him, Panda and Muffin for teens in the house. Obviously Pebble would never dream of being mean to Panda so that leaves Muffin.
Pebble: You know, you think you're Mr. Perfect with your good grades and your perfect boyfriend and your Prom King business but I know you're not! You just a big old wiener face! Yea! That's right! I said it!
Muffin: What did you say to me?
Pebble: That's right! You heard me! I said you were a wiener face! In fact! Not only are you a wiener face, you're nothing but a stupid goody-two shoes! You'd cry if Mummy ever yelled at you! Mr. Perfect always following the rules and being a good boy!
Muffin: Yea! Well at least I'm not sharing a boyfriend with my sister you freak!
Pebble: Pfft! You're just jealous of our relationship. It's okay, I understand.
Markus: How did I get out here? Where am I? Hmmm, this is not good.
No, I am seriously concerned about Markus.
Panda: Kaleo! You showed up! I was beginning to think you weren't going to come. I was worried Pebble and I had scared you off.
Kaleo: Of course not. Panda. You guys are strange, sure, but for this planet. I mean, on my homeworld, things are way stranger, so it's really not a big deal. I promise.
Panda: I'm glad you feel that way.
I know it's supposed to be Pebble's turn to spend some time with Kaleo but he and Panda were hitting it off so I figured they could work on that friendship bar.
Panda: I'm so glad you came over and that we could talk tonight Kay, but I should go and let you hang out with Pebble.
Kaleo: No problem Panda. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. You're sure you don't mind me spending time with Pebble tonight?
Panda: Not at all. Have at 'er big boy.
Kaleo: Cool.
Kaleo seems to have changed his mind about Pebble.
Or he really swoons for the yawn face. Either way. He's into the idea of hanging out with Pebble.
Kaleo: Pebble, I really have to apologize about the other night. I know I was a bit brusque with you and it's not that I don't like you, I do, it's just...I was conflicted. This thing with you and your sister is strange for me. Since coming to this world I've really wanted to fit in as much as possible and I know this is a strange relationship for most people.
Pebble: Kaleo, it's okay. I understand. Panda and I are asking you to do something you're uncomfortable with.
Kaleo: No, that's not it. I'm comfortable. I really am.
Kaleo seems to have finally sorted his head out and is ready to embark on the wondrous, polygamous relationship that Panda and Pebble have in store for him.
Pebble is pretty excited about it.
And it seems that Kaleo gets to play the "Traditional Man" role in this three-way relationship.
As an interlude to romance, Fluffy has finally joined the Inventor career! Hooray for money! No? No weekly stipend? This is bullshit.
When left to his own devices, Fluffy inevitably chooses the strangest activities. Next up on tonight's agenda, Snake Charming! Ho! To make it extra awkward, snake charming while his son makes out with his new boyfriend.
Next up on Fluffy's to-do list. Claude. LOL! DIDJA SEE WHUT I DID THURR?!
This is an appreciation pic for Claude's hot old lady body. And here's little ol' me. Being a creeper and watching them.
The next morning Panda decided to earn some mum points and gave Claude a gift. From the family inventory. I think it was a lamp. I love how regardless of what the gift is their like "OMG REALLY FOR ME OH MAN THIS IS THE COOLEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME LIFE IS AMAZING HOLY MOLY!"
While Panda hit on their mother and made out with Kaleo, Pebble occupied his time by learning piano.
Pebble: This is so hard~~! D:
Panda eventually joined in the festivities and decided to take up guitar. TWIN BAND Y/Y?
Muffin invited Frances over because it's an important day. How important you may ask? VERY IMPORTANT!
Tickle is still around, hanging out with Boinky, the only person who actually seems to like spending time with him. Luckily, Tickle also loves spending time with Boinky.
Kaleo is still around but the twins seem to be ignoring him in favour of their musical pursuits. It's okay though, he's got the water slide.
Everyone. Stop. It's time for Peanut spam.
Tickle: I AM YOUR KING! BOW BEFORE ME YOU PEASANTS! I SHALL BE A MERCIFUL AND KIND OVERLORD SO LONG AS YOU DO NOT DEFY ME!
Tickle: AHAHA! It's so fun playing Tyrant!
Tickle is evil. Let us not forget that. His face may be cute, but underneath, his heart is black as ice.
Oh yea. Remember how I said it was an important day? This is why. Frances fucked off, because he's a bit of a dick, but the rest of the family was there. OKAY GRANTED! IT TOOK ALL NIGHT FOR THIS BIRTHDAY SHIT TO GET STARTED BUT STILL!
Panda: I'm worried about how this will turn out. His boyfriend has abandoned him!
For all her faults and weirdness, Panda is a worrier, and she does care about her family. I love her.
Cue endless cheering faces.
Never let it be said that the Mrmpfles don't make them some attractive sims.
Panda: Grandma, how can Muffin be having a good birthday? His boyfriend isn't here! Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. What if Kaleo isn't her for mine and Pebbles' birthday?! OH GOD!
Freckles: Someone needs to help that kid...
Panda was really horrified by how this birthday went. Really horrified. So what's the best way to deal with it?
AWKWARD DANCING WITH YOUR BROTHER!
Yup. The twins know how to get a party started.
Freckles may be old, but she still knows how to party hard.
Next up was Tickle. Notice that everyone is much less excited for this birthday.
Claude: Meh, if you've seen one you've seen 'em all.
A+ parenting.
Okay, Muffin was excited. But he's still high off the growing older euphoria.
Tickle: Perhaps I shall wish for world domination. I think that would be fitting.
Claude: HAHA! YOU'LL NEVER DOMINATE ANYTHING!
Boinky is obviously down with Tickles plan. She's the true mastermind.
Hmmmm. Okay, the emo/wife-beater thing isn't doing it for you. Let's fix that.
There we go, much better.
Tickle: Boinky got bigger too. Oh dear. This is weird.
***
Weeeeeeellllp. Once again, in keeping with tradition, it's an awkward ending. I really do love me some awkward endings. And some awkward goodbyes. So yea. OKAY! GOODBYE! I LOVE YOU ALL!
