House in Haiku
Title: House in Haiku
Author:simple__man
Fandom and Pairing:House. House/Wilson
Rating:PG.
Prompt:Humor. Word is cane.
Warnings:Mentions of guys kissing and such. Abuse of haiku.
Notes: I don't own them, and I have no explanation for this. I don't know what possessed me, and I'm afraid to find out. Written for wordclaim_50. X-posted here and there.
Summary:A House episode, told entirely in 65 (give or take) haiku. Oh, and the Ducklings find out House and Wilson are having sex. ^^
Thank God Wilson was there.'>
Patient of the week
falls ill, of what we don't know.
Thank God Wilson was there.
Wilson's begging eyes
are more effective than he thinks.
House takes the folder.
Cuddy's breasts meet him
at his office door. Not a
bad start to the day.
Cameron has a
new cause. House is, as usual,
uninterested.
Puppy eyes never
work, unless you are Wilson.
Silly Cameron.
"Make me coffee," he barks,
and she complies, not knowing
she just failed the test.
Differentials are
hard to form when House wears his
red dragon T-shirt.
Wilson walks in, and
blue eyes follow his every
move. Ducklings notice.
Wilson blushes, House grins,
Chase leers, Cameron angsts, and
Foreman wonders why.
Foreman watches them,
trying to figure it out.
Diagnosis? Sex.
Silly wombat, tricks
are for House; kissing his ass
only annoys him.
Sending doctors to
run tests is harder than he'd
thought it would be. Damn.
"The children suspect,"
he whispers, and Wilson rolls
his eyes. "No shit, House."
Stolen time makes each
kiss sweeter, but sadly, they
have work to get to.
Thankless job, watching
after his ducklings. One day,
they will all thank him.
Collecting dysfunction,
he holds their broken shards and
observes secret pain.
Here she comes, tears in
her eyes, begging him to speak
to the damned patient.
He sends her away
to run some more tests. Well, that
should keep her busy.
Escape from Cuddy's
clutches requires quick thinking.
Hide in Exam Room Two.
Foiled again. Someone
must have snitched. Heads will roll, once
he gets out of here.
Patient's symptoms are,
without doubt, the funniest
thing he's seen all week.
Patient is stupid.
Terminal case. Recommend
lobotomy, stat.
When in doubt (or bored),
call Wilson in for consult.
Play Game Boy and wait.
Wilson annoyed, he
will insist on actually
working while at work.
"Fun's over," House says.
Diagnosis? Dumb as dirt.
No treatment for that.
Although, it reminds
House of a case in New York.
Not a total loss.
Limping down the hall,
House yells out orders. He loves
to bully nurses.
Bullying doctors
is even more fun. "It's all your fault."
They take it to heart.
Scurrying like rats,
but there is no improvement.
Something is not right.
Watching the patient's
room, he realizes the
husband is lying.
Foreman is always
his best bet. House only has to
threaten a little.
"Did you cheat on her,"
he asks. Husband not happy.
House likes this part.
Foreman fails. Cammie
blows it. Chase is getting sued.
Send in the cute one.
"I'm busy," he says,
but he's already walking
to the room. Easy touch.
Understanding, and
never judging, full of grace.
Besides, he cheats too.
Success! Husband is
a liar, and all's forgiven.
At least, House forgives.
Her marriage is over,
but at least she's eating now.
Then the bleeding starts.
House is pissed off, again.
Ducklings head for the hills, and
leave Wilson the mess.
Kissing is highly
enjoyable, if only she'd
let them enjoy it.
"You can't do that here!"
Cuddy screeches, and Wilson
bolts. Just like a man.
Fighting with Cuddy
makes no sense when she's jealous.
She will deny it.
His head is pounding.
Cuddy's voice drives him crazy.
Vicodin will help.
His mood improved, House
goes on the prowl. He has ideas,
but now, he needs food.
Wilson shows up, with
a sheepish look. Good for him.
"You're buying me lunch."
Reuben lies in state,
demolished. Chips follow shortly.
Thoughts begin to form.
Inspiration strikes.
House leaves without a word, and
Wilson shakes his head.
"Good thing I love you,"
he thinks, but it's too early
for him to say the words.
The kiddies are back,
with negative test results.
"Why do I pay you?"
"You don't," Chase snarks back.
He'll pay for that, but later.
House likes negatives.
Nothing for it, he'll have
to talk to the sick woman.
He really hates that.
Observe surroundings,
diagnose situations,
remain ever detached.
Wife is kinda cute.
She's also kinda lying.
Extremely annoying.
She tries to hide the
truth from him. He expects her
to be resistant.
"Confession is good
for the soul. Or, in this case,
the body. You'll live."
House, in his office,
curtains drawn, music full-blast.
Epiphany looms.
Cane between fingers,
spins in time to whirling thoughts,
hurricane-force doubt.
His eyes, burning bright,
hold answers inside their depths,
madness lurks within.
His treatment saves her
life, but not her unborn child's.
He can live with that.
Another patient
saved, but it's the hunt he loves.
"I'm bored now," he says.
"I'll see what I can do,"
says Wilson, with a naughty
grin. Duckling trauma.
"Mommy and Daddy
are going home. You kids be
good now. No parties!"
Chase prepares for trial,
Foreman writes his resume,
Cameron wipes tears.
"Stupid ending scene,"
House remarks. "You'll like our part."
Wilson reassures.
Naked bodies slide
between cotton sheets. Kissing,
and then, sex ensues.
Author:simple__man
Fandom and Pairing:House. House/Wilson
Rating:PG.
Prompt:Humor. Word is cane.
Warnings:Mentions of guys kissing and such. Abuse of haiku.
Notes: I don't own them, and I have no explanation for this. I don't know what possessed me, and I'm afraid to find out. Written for wordclaim_50. X-posted here and there.
Summary:A House episode, told entirely in 65 (give or take) haiku. Oh, and the Ducklings find out House and Wilson are having sex. ^^
Thank God Wilson was there.'>
Patient of the week
falls ill, of what we don't know.
Thank God Wilson was there.
Wilson's begging eyes
are more effective than he thinks.
House takes the folder.
Cuddy's breasts meet him
at his office door. Not a
bad start to the day.
Cameron has a
new cause. House is, as usual,
uninterested.
Puppy eyes never
work, unless you are Wilson.
Silly Cameron.
"Make me coffee," he barks,
and she complies, not knowing
she just failed the test.
Differentials are
hard to form when House wears his
red dragon T-shirt.
Wilson walks in, and
blue eyes follow his every
move. Ducklings notice.
Wilson blushes, House grins,
Chase leers, Cameron angsts, and
Foreman wonders why.
Foreman watches them,
trying to figure it out.
Diagnosis? Sex.
Silly wombat, tricks
are for House; kissing his ass
only annoys him.
Sending doctors to
run tests is harder than he'd
thought it would be. Damn.
"The children suspect,"
he whispers, and Wilson rolls
his eyes. "No shit, House."
Stolen time makes each
kiss sweeter, but sadly, they
have work to get to.
Thankless job, watching
after his ducklings. One day,
they will all thank him.
Collecting dysfunction,
he holds their broken shards and
observes secret pain.
Here she comes, tears in
her eyes, begging him to speak
to the damned patient.
He sends her away
to run some more tests. Well, that
should keep her busy.
Escape from Cuddy's
clutches requires quick thinking.
Hide in Exam Room Two.
Foiled again. Someone
must have snitched. Heads will roll, once
he gets out of here.
Patient's symptoms are,
without doubt, the funniest
thing he's seen all week.
Patient is stupid.
Terminal case. Recommend
lobotomy, stat.
When in doubt (or bored),
call Wilson in for consult.
Play Game Boy and wait.
Wilson annoyed, he
will insist on actually
working while at work.
"Fun's over," House says.
Diagnosis? Dumb as dirt.
No treatment for that.
Although, it reminds
House of a case in New York.
Not a total loss.
Limping down the hall,
House yells out orders. He loves
to bully nurses.
Bullying doctors
is even more fun. "It's all your fault."
They take it to heart.
Scurrying like rats,
but there is no improvement.
Something is not right.
Watching the patient's
room, he realizes the
husband is lying.
Foreman is always
his best bet. House only has to
threaten a little.
"Did you cheat on her,"
he asks. Husband not happy.
House likes this part.
Foreman fails. Cammie
blows it. Chase is getting sued.
Send in the cute one.
"I'm busy," he says,
but he's already walking
to the room. Easy touch.
Understanding, and
never judging, full of grace.
Besides, he cheats too.
Success! Husband is
a liar, and all's forgiven.
At least, House forgives.
Her marriage is over,
but at least she's eating now.
Then the bleeding starts.
House is pissed off, again.
Ducklings head for the hills, and
leave Wilson the mess.
Kissing is highly
enjoyable, if only she'd
let them enjoy it.
"You can't do that here!"
Cuddy screeches, and Wilson
bolts. Just like a man.
Fighting with Cuddy
makes no sense when she's jealous.
She will deny it.
His head is pounding.
Cuddy's voice drives him crazy.
Vicodin will help.
His mood improved, House
goes on the prowl. He has ideas,
but now, he needs food.
Wilson shows up, with
a sheepish look. Good for him.
"You're buying me lunch."
Reuben lies in state,
demolished. Chips follow shortly.
Thoughts begin to form.
Inspiration strikes.
House leaves without a word, and
Wilson shakes his head.
"Good thing I love you,"
he thinks, but it's too early
for him to say the words.
The kiddies are back,
with negative test results.
"Why do I pay you?"
"You don't," Chase snarks back.
He'll pay for that, but later.
House likes negatives.
Nothing for it, he'll have
to talk to the sick woman.
He really hates that.
Observe surroundings,
diagnose situations,
remain ever detached.
Wife is kinda cute.
She's also kinda lying.
Extremely annoying.
She tries to hide the
truth from him. He expects her
to be resistant.
"Confession is good
for the soul. Or, in this case,
the body. You'll live."
House, in his office,
curtains drawn, music full-blast.
Epiphany looms.
Cane between fingers,
spins in time to whirling thoughts,
hurricane-force doubt.
His eyes, burning bright,
hold answers inside their depths,
madness lurks within.
His treatment saves her
life, but not her unborn child's.
He can live with that.
Another patient
saved, but it's the hunt he loves.
"I'm bored now," he says.
"I'll see what I can do,"
says Wilson, with a naughty
grin. Duckling trauma.
"Mommy and Daddy
are going home. You kids be
good now. No parties!"
Chase prepares for trial,
Foreman writes his resume,
Cameron wipes tears.
"Stupid ending scene,"
House remarks. "You'll like our part."
Wilson reassures.
Naked bodies slide
between cotton sheets. Kissing,
and then, sex ensues.