Fic for jjjean65; House/Wilson cnd plot bunny "Go Away"
Title: Go Away
Pairing: House/Wilson
Rating: PG (slight allusions to m/m sex)
Disclaimer: not mine, not even the plot bunny
A/N: This morning, I got a plot bunny in my inbox from the lovely jjjean65. This is what came of it. Hopefully, she'll still love me after she reads it. ^^ Hopefully, ya'll will, too.
Warning: All dialogue, all the time.
"Go away."
"Is that the Wilson equivalent of 'I love you and want to have your offspring'?"
"It's the Wilson equivalent of 'Get the hell away from me, or die horribly'."
"You don't mean that."
"I'm not in the mood for your crap today, House."
"I apologized!"
"Not. In. The. Mood. Go away."
"I said I was sorry. I even sort of meant it!"
"I'm working."
"I made you breakfast!"
"We're not talking about this here."
"I let you drive me to work. In the Fag-mobile! Without complaining!"
"We are at work. I am working."
"I didn't complain about your shitty driving, not even once!"
"Is that Cameron calling you?"
"I opened your door!"
"Cuddy's coming this way, and she's got a file. Two files. Maybe three."
"I KISSED you in front of real, live people. Twice."
"I think I hear your pager. Don't you hear your pager?"
"Not a real kiss, either. No tongues, no nothing!"
"Working. Working. WORKING WORKING WORKING!"
"Nothing in it for me, all for you, and did I complain? Not a word did I say!"
"Please go bother someone else. Go bully your patients, you love that."
"But I apologized!"
"Why do we have to talk about this here? Why?"
"Like the nurses don't have better things to do."
"Of course they have better things to do, but as you can see, they aren't doing them."
"You're still pissy."
"Oh god, please stop. I've already said I'm not mad."
"Yeah, but you're still pissy."
"Not because of...that. Because you won't leave me alone."
"You were pissy before that."
"Not. Pissy. Frustrated. I'm frustrated, okay?"
"Sexually, mentally, emotionally?"
"All of the above!"
"I said I was sorry."
"That doesn't help with the frustration, now does it?"
"Wasn't my fault."
"Didn't say it was. Just, go away, please? I need to work, and I don't have time to talk."
"You don't have a patient for another thirty minutes."
"I need to be AWAY from YOU. I need to be House-free."
"But you're frustrated. Sexually. I can help with that. That's my job."
"No. No helping. Not at work, didn't we agree on this?"
"I was lying to get you into bed!"
"Your pager's going off."
"I left it in my office."
"Damn."
"I have time. You have time. You're frustrated, and I'm being helpful. See, this is good."
"Not good. Not good. Bad. Very bad. And you being helpful is what got me into this position."
"No, the position is what got you into this position."
"I TOLD you your leg couldn't handle it..."
"Shut up! The nurses will hear you."
"Oh, NOW we're worried about the nurses? NOW we're concerned about being embarrassed?"
"They have better things to do than hear about our...problems."
"Oh no. No sir. You wanted to talk, we're talking."
"Not here!"
"Yes, right here. Let's talk about it. I know, let's go to your office!"
"You wouldn't..."
"And we can make a diagram on the whiteboard! And then Chase and Cameron and Foreman can do a differential for horny, frustrated, pissed-off bisexual oncologist. Let's do that!"
"I don't really think that's necessary."
"I'll get the markers! You go round up the team. We'll meet in, say, ten minutes?"
"You probably have work to do. Y'know, sick people, bald kids dying."
"I have plenty of time, loads and loads of time. An assload of time, if you'll pardon the expression."
"Okay, now you're just being sarcastic."
"Me? Sarcastic? Why would I be sarcastic? What could possibly upset me on a day like today? Birds chirping, children playing, House getting on my last possible fucking nerve..."
"I'll just be going now. I'll see you when you're in a better mood."
"I'm in a great mood! My mood couldn't be better. No, wait, I could have had sex last night, but someone had to have this bright idea, which, mind you, I said was a bad idea, but what do I know, I'm just a doctor. Silly, silly me, what was I thinking?"
"I think I hear Cameron calling me."
"I was perfectly content with things as they were! But no, you said, it's boring, you said. We need to spice things up, you said."
"Cuddy's coming this way. I think she has a file for me. Or two. Maybe three."
"And I went along with this stupid, idiotic, mentally deficient plan, in an attempt to be supportive!"
"Is that my pager? I could swear I hear my pager."
"I distinctly remember saying, 'If you think your leg can't handle it.', and you saying, 'growl mutter whatever grumble grr'."
"Yeah, I forgot that I have clinic duty. Lots of clinic duty. Exam rooms to visit, scripts to write, patients to bully, you know how it goes."
"And fine, I didn't get any, that's fine! I wasn't pissed, it happens, I can live with that.
I didn't say a word! Not a word."
"I think I'm supposed to be working now. Please, please can't I go to work now?"
"But you can't let it go! You have to push and poke and prod until I finally just snap, and then you want to run away and leave ME to deal with all the stares and blushes and humiliation. Not happening! Not today!"
"I'm sorry?"
"Nice try."
"I won't do it again?"
"Oh, really nice. You're adding lying into the mix?"
"I won't do it again, today?"
"And tomorrow."
"I won't do it again, today and tomorrow. And possibly the day after that?"
"I suppose you want something in return for this amazing act of contrition?"
"Sex? The old, boring way is fine. No problem with that. Love that boring sex."
"You'll be lucky if I let you look at me with all my clothes on."
"I'll let you iron my shirts."
"Oh, lucky, lucky me. I'm so fortunate to have so thoughtful a lover....really? I can iron
your shirts?"
"Starch 'em, too. Rip 'em off me if you want to."
"Such a romantic."
"I'm going to go work now."
"Please do. Don't come back for at least three hours."
"Only if you kiss me. With tongues. And minor groping."
"Only minor groping? Wow, my day just gets better and better."
"Two hours, and I leave off the groping."
"No kissing, and you can see me in an hour. Bring coffee. Make it fresh, and meet me on the
balcony. Get rid of the kids, and you can grope anything you want."
"I think you're the romantic."
"Go away."
X-posted to house_wilson and simple__stuff (my fic journal) and to my journal.
Pairing: House/Wilson
Rating: PG (slight allusions to m/m sex)
Disclaimer: not mine, not even the plot bunny
A/N: This morning, I got a plot bunny in my inbox from the lovely jjjean65. This is what came of it. Hopefully, she'll still love me after she reads it. ^^ Hopefully, ya'll will, too.
Warning: All dialogue, all the time.
"Go away."
"Is that the Wilson equivalent of 'I love you and want to have your offspring'?"
"It's the Wilson equivalent of 'Get the hell away from me, or die horribly'."
"You don't mean that."
"I'm not in the mood for your crap today, House."
"I apologized!"
"Not. In. The. Mood. Go away."
"I said I was sorry. I even sort of meant it!"
"I'm working."
"I made you breakfast!"
"We're not talking about this here."
"I let you drive me to work. In the Fag-mobile! Without complaining!"
"We are at work. I am working."
"I didn't complain about your shitty driving, not even once!"
"Is that Cameron calling you?"
"I opened your door!"
"Cuddy's coming this way, and she's got a file. Two files. Maybe three."
"I KISSED you in front of real, live people. Twice."
"I think I hear your pager. Don't you hear your pager?"
"Not a real kiss, either. No tongues, no nothing!"
"Working. Working. WORKING WORKING WORKING!"
"Nothing in it for me, all for you, and did I complain? Not a word did I say!"
"Please go bother someone else. Go bully your patients, you love that."
"But I apologized!"
"Why do we have to talk about this here? Why?"
"Like the nurses don't have better things to do."
"Of course they have better things to do, but as you can see, they aren't doing them."
"You're still pissy."
"Oh god, please stop. I've already said I'm not mad."
"Yeah, but you're still pissy."
"Not because of...that. Because you won't leave me alone."
"You were pissy before that."
"Not. Pissy. Frustrated. I'm frustrated, okay?"
"Sexually, mentally, emotionally?"
"All of the above!"
"I said I was sorry."
"That doesn't help with the frustration, now does it?"
"Wasn't my fault."
"Didn't say it was. Just, go away, please? I need to work, and I don't have time to talk."
"You don't have a patient for another thirty minutes."
"I need to be AWAY from YOU. I need to be House-free."
"But you're frustrated. Sexually. I can help with that. That's my job."
"No. No helping. Not at work, didn't we agree on this?"
"I was lying to get you into bed!"
"Your pager's going off."
"I left it in my office."
"Damn."
"I have time. You have time. You're frustrated, and I'm being helpful. See, this is good."
"Not good. Not good. Bad. Very bad. And you being helpful is what got me into this position."
"No, the position is what got you into this position."
"I TOLD you your leg couldn't handle it..."
"Shut up! The nurses will hear you."
"Oh, NOW we're worried about the nurses? NOW we're concerned about being embarrassed?"
"They have better things to do than hear about our...problems."
"Oh no. No sir. You wanted to talk, we're talking."
"Not here!"
"Yes, right here. Let's talk about it. I know, let's go to your office!"
"You wouldn't..."
"And we can make a diagram on the whiteboard! And then Chase and Cameron and Foreman can do a differential for horny, frustrated, pissed-off bisexual oncologist. Let's do that!"
"I don't really think that's necessary."
"I'll get the markers! You go round up the team. We'll meet in, say, ten minutes?"
"You probably have work to do. Y'know, sick people, bald kids dying."
"I have plenty of time, loads and loads of time. An assload of time, if you'll pardon the expression."
"Okay, now you're just being sarcastic."
"Me? Sarcastic? Why would I be sarcastic? What could possibly upset me on a day like today? Birds chirping, children playing, House getting on my last possible fucking nerve..."
"I'll just be going now. I'll see you when you're in a better mood."
"I'm in a great mood! My mood couldn't be better. No, wait, I could have had sex last night, but someone had to have this bright idea, which, mind you, I said was a bad idea, but what do I know, I'm just a doctor. Silly, silly me, what was I thinking?"
"I think I hear Cameron calling me."
"I was perfectly content with things as they were! But no, you said, it's boring, you said. We need to spice things up, you said."
"Cuddy's coming this way. I think she has a file for me. Or two. Maybe three."
"And I went along with this stupid, idiotic, mentally deficient plan, in an attempt to be supportive!"
"Is that my pager? I could swear I hear my pager."
"I distinctly remember saying, 'If you think your leg can't handle it.', and you saying, 'growl mutter whatever grumble grr'."
"Yeah, I forgot that I have clinic duty. Lots of clinic duty. Exam rooms to visit, scripts to write, patients to bully, you know how it goes."
"And fine, I didn't get any, that's fine! I wasn't pissed, it happens, I can live with that.
I didn't say a word! Not a word."
"I think I'm supposed to be working now. Please, please can't I go to work now?"
"But you can't let it go! You have to push and poke and prod until I finally just snap, and then you want to run away and leave ME to deal with all the stares and blushes and humiliation. Not happening! Not today!"
"I'm sorry?"
"Nice try."
"I won't do it again?"
"Oh, really nice. You're adding lying into the mix?"
"I won't do it again, today?"
"And tomorrow."
"I won't do it again, today and tomorrow. And possibly the day after that?"
"I suppose you want something in return for this amazing act of contrition?"
"Sex? The old, boring way is fine. No problem with that. Love that boring sex."
"You'll be lucky if I let you look at me with all my clothes on."
"I'll let you iron my shirts."
"Oh, lucky, lucky me. I'm so fortunate to have so thoughtful a lover....really? I can iron
your shirts?"
"Starch 'em, too. Rip 'em off me if you want to."
"Such a romantic."
"I'm going to go work now."
"Please do. Don't come back for at least three hours."
"Only if you kiss me. With tongues. And minor groping."
"Only minor groping? Wow, my day just gets better and better."
"Two hours, and I leave off the groping."
"No kissing, and you can see me in an hour. Bring coffee. Make it fresh, and meet me on the
balcony. Get rid of the kids, and you can grope anything you want."
"I think you're the romantic."
"Go away."
X-posted to house_wilson and simple__stuff (my fic journal) and to my journal.