MURDER YOUR KEYBOARD: a musical motivation mix!
MOTIVATION, MO'FOS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?
WELL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO!
H'OKAY, LET'S START THIS SHIT.
Here's the deal. I have this pet theory that people type faster when they're listening to music with a hella nice beat, that's all upbeat and talking about good emotions and warm and fuzzy shit about how you can do it or whatever. My only evidence for this is Rocky training montages, and that is pretty much the same thing as peer reviewed SCIENCE backing me up (and okay one time this guy told me it didn't work for him like that because he was too busy doing air drum solos BUT THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOME SO WHO CARES)!
SO! I have complied, like, a whole bunch of music, and if you listen to it, you're pretty much guaranteed to type with so much fury your keyboard will basically alternate between weeping in awe of your possessed-with-purpose fingers and wishing it possessed limbs in order to join you in performing kick ass air drum sessions.
LET'S DO THIS!
1. Lights (Bassnectar Remix) - Ellie Goulding
I had a way then losing it all on my own,
I had a heart then but the Queen has been overthrown,
And I'm not sleeping now the dark is too hard to beat,
And I'm not keeping now the strength I need to push me.
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone,
You shine It when I'm alone,
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong,
And dreaming when they're gone.
Depression, procrastination, and other gloomy things that stop you from destroying your keyboard with righteous typing accomplishments sure are assholes. AM I RIGHT, OR AM I EXTRA RIGHT? They suck especially because they sneak up on you, and make you feel like you can't do shit. WELL FUCK THEM RIGHT BACK, AND BANG YOU HEAD AND YOUR HANDS TO THIS DUBSTEP BEAT, AND GET PUMPED! Okay? OKAY! (But f'reals, listening to this song with the volume all the way up always provokes positive feelings in me. But that might just be my eardrums melting. Whatever, this remix is overwhelming, and it stops me from thinking so much, and just gets me doing.)
2.)Evident Utensil - Charilift
The most evident utensil
Is none other than pencil
Writer, tell me what you want from me
Before my paper is through
How hard must I try
How hard must I try for you
You see me rolling in the dirt
You see me crawling up the walls for you
Pencils. THEY ARE FUCKING USEFUL. Sometimes writing words is impossible, and everything gets blocked up in your mind and you stare at your computer screen and the cursor is just flashing in the space WHERE WORDS SHOULD BE, but nothing is coming out and you want to scream. WELL, WHAT DO WE SAY TO WRITER'S BLOCK? Not today, motherfucker, I'm gonna use a pencil. Handwrite some shit - it takes forever, but you can doodle in your margins, and use your eraser, and sometimes it feels really nice to GO BACK TO BASICS. Also, it is really fun to write in all caps in a pencil. It will make you feel like you are five again. Was there anything your five year old self thought you couldn't do? NO THERE WAS NOT. (Everyone gets writer's block sometimes though, so it's cool to be frustrated. Just don't let it consume you, okay?)
3.) Just Another Day - Naïve New Beaters
Dare tomorrow it's just another day
Try to follow it's just another day
New day starts it's just another day
Know we must go fast it's just another day
THE LYRICS TO THIS SONG ARE KIND OF NONSENSE BECAUSE I THINK THE BAND IS A FRENCH ONE THAT IS SINGING IN ENGLISH, OR WHATEVER? But this possible Frenglish song is kind of idiotically savant with ~wisdom~ m'kay. If you had a shit yesterday and couldn't get anything done, omg guess what? TODAY IS ANOTHER DAY! New chances, fresh perspectives, something about blocking emotions like Hancock that doesn't make sense - these French guys know what's up. Yeah. THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION. (Seriously though, this song is largely nonsense, but nothing like a laugh to start off a fresh start, right?)
4.) 9 Songs to Save the World - Remember that time when Timbaland was the only person on the radio and he brought Justin Timberlake along as his sidekick? THIS MASH-UP BY NORWEIGAN RECYCLING SURE DOES! (But, if you're honestly curiously, the 9 songs included are: 1. Flo Rida feat. Timbaland - Elevator
2. Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland - 4 Minutes
3. Justin Timberlake feat. Clipse - Like I Love You
4. Usher feat. Lil Jon & Ludacris - Yeah
5. Timbaland feat. Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake - Give It To Me
6. Britney Spears - Gimme More
7. Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson & D.O.E. - The Way I Are
8. Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
9. Eiffel 65 - Blue (Da Ba Dee) [LOLWUT, RANDOM MUCH?] )
YOU MAY HAVE A DEADLINE BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOTHING AS INTIMIDATING AS SAVING THE WORLD IN FOUR MINUTES, AM I RIGHT? (It just feels that impossible.)
5.) Day Glo - Igly & Hartly
They call me,day glow, in the day I glow
They call me, night bright, in the night I light
All the corners of the streets with my eyes
Aw, yeah, look at you burning the midnight oil and toiling through the day being super productive! (PSST, YOU GUYS, ACTUALLY I THINK THIS SONG IS ABOUT DRUGS, BUT FOR THE PURPOSES OF MOTIVATION LET'S IGNORE THAT, OKAY?)
6.) Do the Panic - Phantom Planet
We all get scared of sticking out our necks
It's expected!
So panic.
It's time to lose control!
Turn up your radio!
You're gonna feel alright!
Let's do the panic tonight!
Are things not going according to plan/schedule/life? OKAY, TIME TO PANIC! AND BY PANIC, I MEAN SPONTANEOUS DANCE PARTY BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT PANIC IS A SYNONYM OF, DIDN'T YOU KNOW? I don't even know what Douglas Adams was thinking when he had the Hitchhiker's Guide say not to panic, man. (There's a great Calvin and Hobbes strip where the punchline is something to the effect of, “I'm waiting for inspiration in the form of last minute panic.” Basically, yeah, there's nothing wrong for a little panic serving as motivation so long as you treat as an adrenaline shot of AWESOME and not all consuming worry.)
7.) Always Spring - I'm From Barcelona
I wanna be up
I wanna be down
I need a new direction
Somewhere it's summer
Somewhere it's always spring
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THINK OF ENGLAND WHATEVER SEASON IS YOUR VACATION BASED SEASON. It cannot come soon enough, but it will happen eventually. I MEAN, THAT'S JUST HOW TIME WORKS. (And, you know, it's good to have goals, for what you're going to do when you're done.)
8.) Hands (Retro/Grade Remix) - The Ting Tings
Two hands
What you supposed to do with two hands
To get the life of the richest of man
Where you supposed to go with two hands
I could've been something in between
But when I'm breaking my back
And I'm on my knees --
Clap your hands
If you're working too hard
Clap your hands
If you're working too hard
Clap your hands
If you're working too hard
And the beat's so hard you're
working, working
Preach, British indie electro-pop group, PREACH. (You have to remember to pat yourself on the back sometimes.)
9.) Keep On Moving - 5ive
I woke up today with this feeling.
That better things are coming my way.
And if the sunshine has a meaning,
Telling me not to let things get in my way
When the rainy days are dying,
Gotta keep on, keep on trying
All the bees and birds are flying
Never let go gotta hold on and
Non stop 'til the break of dawn and
Keep on moving, don't stop rocking
Man, I don't even know how I came into possession of this song, but apparently this group was relevant enough to have a “greatest hits” album come out even though they sound like, I DON'T EVEN KNOW, something you'd hear on Disney Junior when you leave the TV on late at night and you wake up and some show about Trains is on but it isn't Thomas the Tank Engine and you're like WTF IS THIS CGI SHIT? WEE CHILDREN ARE GETTING SO RIPPED OFF WITH THEIR EARLY-LIFE ENTERTAINMENT EXPERIENCES, MAN - but what does that have to do with this song? Um. NOTHING! But generic messages of hope and movement are totally relevant to our interests. Which apparently include deep feelings about early childhood entertainment. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS OKAY and those “Baby Genius” kids aren't even slightly intelligent! THIS CONCERNS ME. (… don't let yourself get distracted by tangents like this. Keep on moving with what you're working on!)
10.) Help, I'm Alive (Krusha remix) - Metric
I tremble
They're gonna eat me alive
If I stumble
They're gonna eat me alive
Can you hear my heart beating like a hammer?
Oh, dudes, performance anxiety is no joke. WHAT IF WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS COMPLETE SHIT? HINT: IT IS NOT! (But the thought that it might be is still totally scary, and you're not careful, it will consume you.)
11.) 15 Step - Radiohead
How come I end up where I started?
How come I end up where I went wrong?
I won't take my eyes off the ball again
First you reel me out and then you cut the string
It is so gloomy when you feel like you're going in circles, and getting nowhere. You'll be all, I AM SO DEPRESSED YOU GUYS, EVERYTHING SUCKS! Will a 5/8 drumbeat help solve your problems? IT CAN'T HURT! (There really is nothing worse than feeling like you can't write a decent sentence to save your life. Sometimes you need to wallow in that feeling.)
12.) Monsters Under the Bed - Eugene McGuinness
how fun-fucking-tabulous it is
to be so scared of the dark like this
I know I've got work to do
it's a bitch
I'm staggering 'round
I can't find the switch
I spent 5 hours on the net last
avoidin' the monsters under my bed
with square eyes
now I dare not stick my feet off the end
in case they bite
and sing the monster song
Oh no, procrastination monsters! THOSE ARE THE WORST KIND OF MONTERS! AND THE MOST ADDICTING! You guys, I have lost so many hours of my life to the internet and shit TV like Teen Mom 2. It's not cool. At all.
13.)Let's Dance to Joy Division - The Wombats
Let's dance to joy division
and raise our glass to the ceiling
'cos this could all go so wrong
but we're just so happy
yeah, we're so happy
Um, I don't know if you've ever listened to Joy Division but just the idea of dancing to them is making me laugh. And laughter is the best medicine, OBVIOUSLY. (The last couple of songs were kind of downers, really, and while there's a time and place, it's good to keep a perspective that is joy (division)- based.)
14.) Move - Cansei der Ser Sexy
you better get your move on or all the good ones will have gone
you better get your move on or all the good ones will have gone
you better get your move on
get up, get up, get up, you've got to keep on moving
… if I didn't no better I'd say, just maybe, movement was, like, important or something? #CRAZYTALK
15. Shout - Daniel Flaherty & Britne Oldford (Tears for Fears cover)
You shouldn't have to jump for joy
You shouldn't have to--
Shout, shout, let it all out,
these are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on
Lawl, let's not talk about where this cover comes from, okay, and just focus on the message. Which is, um basically that shouting can be really stress relieving? RELIEVE YOUR STRESS; SPEAK IN CAPSLOCK!
16. Call 911 (Fred Falke Remix) - Florrie
Just remember no you won't forget
Baby blow it bang bang you're dead!
Are you tickin' on the line like a time bomb?
Are you pickin' up the pace got your face on?
Remember: IF THE WORST HAPPENS, YOU CAN ALWAYS ASSUME A NEW IDENTITY AND LIVE A LIFE ON THE RUN! But that'd probably be pretty complicated and shit, so maybe it might be better to be motivated and finish whatever you're working on.
WELL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO!
H'OKAY, LET'S START THIS SHIT.
Here's the deal. I have this pet theory that people type faster when they're listening to music with a hella nice beat, that's all upbeat and talking about good emotions and warm and fuzzy shit about how you can do it or whatever. My only evidence for this is Rocky training montages, and that is pretty much the same thing as peer reviewed SCIENCE backing me up (and okay one time this guy told me it didn't work for him like that because he was too busy doing air drum solos BUT THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOME SO WHO CARES)!
SO! I have complied, like, a whole bunch of music, and if you listen to it, you're pretty much guaranteed to type with so much fury your keyboard will basically alternate between weeping in awe of your possessed-with-purpose fingers and wishing it possessed limbs in order to join you in performing kick ass air drum sessions.
LET'S DO THIS!
1. Lights (Bassnectar Remix) - Ellie Goulding
I had a way then losing it all on my own,
I had a heart then but the Queen has been overthrown,
And I'm not sleeping now the dark is too hard to beat,
And I'm not keeping now the strength I need to push me.
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone,
You shine It when I'm alone,
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong,
And dreaming when they're gone.
Depression, procrastination, and other gloomy things that stop you from destroying your keyboard with righteous typing accomplishments sure are assholes. AM I RIGHT, OR AM I EXTRA RIGHT? They suck especially because they sneak up on you, and make you feel like you can't do shit. WELL FUCK THEM RIGHT BACK, AND BANG YOU HEAD AND YOUR HANDS TO THIS DUBSTEP BEAT, AND GET PUMPED! Okay? OKAY! (But f'reals, listening to this song with the volume all the way up always provokes positive feelings in me. But that might just be my eardrums melting. Whatever, this remix is overwhelming, and it stops me from thinking so much, and just gets me doing.)
2.)Evident Utensil - Charilift
The most evident utensil
Is none other than pencil
Writer, tell me what you want from me
Before my paper is through
How hard must I try
How hard must I try for you
You see me rolling in the dirt
You see me crawling up the walls for you
Pencils. THEY ARE FUCKING USEFUL. Sometimes writing words is impossible, and everything gets blocked up in your mind and you stare at your computer screen and the cursor is just flashing in the space WHERE WORDS SHOULD BE, but nothing is coming out and you want to scream. WELL, WHAT DO WE SAY TO WRITER'S BLOCK? Not today, motherfucker, I'm gonna use a pencil. Handwrite some shit - it takes forever, but you can doodle in your margins, and use your eraser, and sometimes it feels really nice to GO BACK TO BASICS. Also, it is really fun to write in all caps in a pencil. It will make you feel like you are five again. Was there anything your five year old self thought you couldn't do? NO THERE WAS NOT. (Everyone gets writer's block sometimes though, so it's cool to be frustrated. Just don't let it consume you, okay?)
3.) Just Another Day - Naïve New Beaters
Dare tomorrow it's just another day
Try to follow it's just another day
New day starts it's just another day
Know we must go fast it's just another day
THE LYRICS TO THIS SONG ARE KIND OF NONSENSE BECAUSE I THINK THE BAND IS A FRENCH ONE THAT IS SINGING IN ENGLISH, OR WHATEVER? But this possible Frenglish song is kind of idiotically savant with ~wisdom~ m'kay. If you had a shit yesterday and couldn't get anything done, omg guess what? TODAY IS ANOTHER DAY! New chances, fresh perspectives, something about blocking emotions like Hancock that doesn't make sense - these French guys know what's up. Yeah. THIS IS BRAND NEW INFORMATION. (Seriously though, this song is largely nonsense, but nothing like a laugh to start off a fresh start, right?)
4.) 9 Songs to Save the World - Remember that time when Timbaland was the only person on the radio and he brought Justin Timberlake along as his sidekick? THIS MASH-UP BY NORWEIGAN RECYCLING SURE DOES! (But, if you're honestly curiously, the 9 songs included are: 1. Flo Rida feat. Timbaland - Elevator
2. Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland - 4 Minutes
3. Justin Timberlake feat. Clipse - Like I Love You
4. Usher feat. Lil Jon & Ludacris - Yeah
5. Timbaland feat. Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake - Give It To Me
6. Britney Spears - Gimme More
7. Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson & D.O.E. - The Way I Are
8. Nelly Furtado - Say It Right
9. Eiffel 65 - Blue (Da Ba Dee) [LOLWUT, RANDOM MUCH?] )
YOU MAY HAVE A DEADLINE BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOTHING AS INTIMIDATING AS SAVING THE WORLD IN FOUR MINUTES, AM I RIGHT? (It just feels that impossible.)
5.) Day Glo - Igly & Hartly
They call me,day glow, in the day I glow
They call me, night bright, in the night I light
All the corners of the streets with my eyes
Aw, yeah, look at you burning the midnight oil and toiling through the day being super productive! (PSST, YOU GUYS, ACTUALLY I THINK THIS SONG IS ABOUT DRUGS, BUT FOR THE PURPOSES OF MOTIVATION LET'S IGNORE THAT, OKAY?)
6.) Do the Panic - Phantom Planet
We all get scared of sticking out our necks
It's expected!
So panic.
It's time to lose control!
Turn up your radio!
You're gonna feel alright!
Let's do the panic tonight!
Are things not going according to plan/schedule/life? OKAY, TIME TO PANIC! AND BY PANIC, I MEAN SPONTANEOUS DANCE PARTY BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT PANIC IS A SYNONYM OF, DIDN'T YOU KNOW? I don't even know what Douglas Adams was thinking when he had the Hitchhiker's Guide say not to panic, man. (There's a great Calvin and Hobbes strip where the punchline is something to the effect of, “I'm waiting for inspiration in the form of last minute panic.” Basically, yeah, there's nothing wrong for a little panic serving as motivation so long as you treat as an adrenaline shot of AWESOME and not all consuming worry.)
7.) Always Spring - I'm From Barcelona
I wanna be up
I wanna be down
I need a new direction
Somewhere it's summer
Somewhere it's always spring
CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THINK OF ENGLAND WHATEVER SEASON IS YOUR VACATION BASED SEASON. It cannot come soon enough, but it will happen eventually. I MEAN, THAT'S JUST HOW TIME WORKS. (And, you know, it's good to have goals, for what you're going to do when you're done.)
8.) Hands (Retro/Grade Remix) - The Ting Tings
Two hands
What you supposed to do with two hands
To get the life of the richest of man
Where you supposed to go with two hands
I could've been something in between
But when I'm breaking my back
And I'm on my knees --
Clap your hands
If you're working too hard
Clap your hands
If you're working too hard
Clap your hands
If you're working too hard
And the beat's so hard you're
working, working
Preach, British indie electro-pop group, PREACH. (You have to remember to pat yourself on the back sometimes.)
9.) Keep On Moving - 5ive
I woke up today with this feeling.
That better things are coming my way.
And if the sunshine has a meaning,
Telling me not to let things get in my way
When the rainy days are dying,
Gotta keep on, keep on trying
All the bees and birds are flying
Never let go gotta hold on and
Non stop 'til the break of dawn and
Keep on moving, don't stop rocking
Man, I don't even know how I came into possession of this song, but apparently this group was relevant enough to have a “greatest hits” album come out even though they sound like, I DON'T EVEN KNOW, something you'd hear on Disney Junior when you leave the TV on late at night and you wake up and some show about Trains is on but it isn't Thomas the Tank Engine and you're like WTF IS THIS CGI SHIT? WEE CHILDREN ARE GETTING SO RIPPED OFF WITH THEIR EARLY-LIFE ENTERTAINMENT EXPERIENCES, MAN - but what does that have to do with this song? Um. NOTHING! But generic messages of hope and movement are totally relevant to our interests. Which apparently include deep feelings about early childhood entertainment. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS OKAY and those “Baby Genius” kids aren't even slightly intelligent! THIS CONCERNS ME. (… don't let yourself get distracted by tangents like this. Keep on moving with what you're working on!)
10.) Help, I'm Alive (Krusha remix) - Metric
I tremble
They're gonna eat me alive
If I stumble
They're gonna eat me alive
Can you hear my heart beating like a hammer?
Oh, dudes, performance anxiety is no joke. WHAT IF WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS COMPLETE SHIT? HINT: IT IS NOT! (But the thought that it might be is still totally scary, and you're not careful, it will consume you.)
11.) 15 Step - Radiohead
How come I end up where I started?
How come I end up where I went wrong?
I won't take my eyes off the ball again
First you reel me out and then you cut the string
It is so gloomy when you feel like you're going in circles, and getting nowhere. You'll be all, I AM SO DEPRESSED YOU GUYS, EVERYTHING SUCKS! Will a 5/8 drumbeat help solve your problems? IT CAN'T HURT! (There really is nothing worse than feeling like you can't write a decent sentence to save your life. Sometimes you need to wallow in that feeling.)
12.) Monsters Under the Bed - Eugene McGuinness
how fun-fucking-tabulous it is
to be so scared of the dark like this
I know I've got work to do
it's a bitch
I'm staggering 'round
I can't find the switch
I spent 5 hours on the net last
avoidin' the monsters under my bed
with square eyes
now I dare not stick my feet off the end
in case they bite
and sing the monster song
Oh no, procrastination monsters! THOSE ARE THE WORST KIND OF MONTERS! AND THE MOST ADDICTING! You guys, I have lost so many hours of my life to the internet and shit TV like Teen Mom 2. It's not cool. At all.
13.)Let's Dance to Joy Division - The Wombats
Let's dance to joy division
and raise our glass to the ceiling
'cos this could all go so wrong
but we're just so happy
yeah, we're so happy
Um, I don't know if you've ever listened to Joy Division but just the idea of dancing to them is making me laugh. And laughter is the best medicine, OBVIOUSLY. (The last couple of songs were kind of downers, really, and while there's a time and place, it's good to keep a perspective that is joy (division)- based.)
14.) Move - Cansei der Ser Sexy
you better get your move on or all the good ones will have gone
you better get your move on or all the good ones will have gone
you better get your move on
get up, get up, get up, you've got to keep on moving
… if I didn't no better I'd say, just maybe, movement was, like, important or something? #CRAZYTALK
15. Shout - Daniel Flaherty & Britne Oldford (Tears for Fears cover)
You shouldn't have to jump for joy
You shouldn't have to--
Shout, shout, let it all out,
these are the things I can do without
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on
Lawl, let's not talk about where this cover comes from, okay, and just focus on the message. Which is, um basically that shouting can be really stress relieving? RELIEVE YOUR STRESS; SPEAK IN CAPSLOCK!
16. Call 911 (Fred Falke Remix) - Florrie
Just remember no you won't forget
Baby blow it bang bang you're dead!
Are you tickin' on the line like a time bomb?
Are you pickin' up the pace got your face on?
Remember: IF THE WORST HAPPENS, YOU CAN ALWAYS ASSUME A NEW IDENTITY AND LIVE A LIFE ON THE RUN! But that'd probably be pretty complicated and shit, so maybe it might be better to be motivated and finish whatever you're working on.