Dear Dowling Class of 2005,

Use freaking protection. And don't give me that "B-b-but condoms/birth control pills/et cetera are against the Church's teachings" crap. Guess what? So's premarital sex. Just some food for thought..

Also, stop getting pregnant. It makes the rest of us look bad by association.

Ah, Christmas Break. Now, I can relax... how does one do that again?

What a strange feeling it is, to realize that you really do love your parents, and that you forgive them of everything.

[I realize that by posting this, I am admitting that I watch Lifetime on occasion, but I swear it's only for the Frasier reruns. And sometimes Will & Grace if there's absolutely nothing else on television and I'm procrastinating really hard. And, okay, Golden Girls, but that's acceptable ( Read more... )

There is a young cowboy--he lives on the range; his horse and his cattle are his only companions. He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons, waiting for summer, his pastures to change. And as the moon rises, he sits by his fire thinking about women and glasses of beer. And closing his eyes as the dogies retire, he sings out a song, which ( Read more... )

"Express Yourself" strikes me as being entirely the wrong slogan for Botox.

Sometimes I almost want a MySpace account just so that I can be a complete creeper. I know that's weird. I'm not entirely ashamed. A little, though.

If anyone's wondering what I want for Christmas, I'd gladly take something like this:


( Read more... )

i generally don't like taking public transportation-- I have a thing about people standing too close to me-- but tonight was absolutely worth it because I saw an old guy with a triforce tattoo.

God, I hope I'm still every bit as nerdy when I get old as I am now. That would make me happy. I'll be a grandmother running around like, "Dude, check out ( Read more... )

I'm convinced that no one in a bad mood can listen to "Good Morning, Baltimore" from Hairspray and not instantly feel better. Singing along while dancing around in your underwear is optional but highly recommended.

Or just Hairspray in general. Showtunes +  innuendo + would-be-innuendo-if-there-were-a-nonsexual-way-to-take-it = amazing.

"Round one: ( Read more... )

I've been mulling over this for some time and feel it needs to be said ( Read more... )