[everyfiveyears - Lindsey McDonald] Age 20 - The Hardest Choice
Title: The Hardest Choice
Author: [remember_nomore/simply_shiny]
Fandom: Angel the Series
Character: Lindsey McDonald
Character’s Age: 20
Other Parts: [Found Here]
Word Count: 1394
Rating: PG-13
Beta: strangecreature, the only one who can make fun of my writing and get away with it *ties her up with cord and smirks*
Author's Notes: This chapter proves that I’m the worlds biggest nerd. I spent three hours at the website for Hastings College to write this chapter. Written for everyfiveyears. *chinwibble* Only one more...maybe two after this in the series...
The Hardest Choice
”Lindsey?” Anna’s voice was quiet as she pulled on his shirt, her eyes welling up with tears as she tried to get her older brother's attention. “Where’s all your stuff? Everythin’s all gone,” she whispered as she looked around, trying to figure out what was going on.
“I know, peanut.” He took her hand and pulled her over to the bed where Philip sat and waited for him. “I’ve gotta talk to you two.” Anna looked at him with childlike eyes, even for her age - turning fourteen in a few months - she still clung to him like when she was six.
“You’re leavin’.” Philip crossed his arms over his chest, an angry look on his face. “Jus’ like everyone else.”
Lindsey sighed and shook his head. “You know it ain’t like that.” He ran his fingers through his hair and looked over at Anna. Cupping her face he brushed the few tears from her eyes and pulled her to him. “Goin’ to school, you know I gotta. It’ll be ok, I’m gonna go and get a good job and get us out of this place.”
“Promise?”
He nodded and hugged Anna, smoothing her sandy blond hair away from her face. “Promise.”
That was two years ago and he hasn’t been back since. Not for holidays or birthdays. He was filled with guilt that he never went back when Anna called and told them that their grandmother died. But he couldn’t, he had three papers due and there wasn’t anything he could do he knew that they’d both be safe at their aunt’s in Tennessee. It was better for them that way. He couldn’t provide what they needed; not now anyway.
It was too hard for him; he felt like he’d be intruding on that life. The life he had back in Oklahoma wasn’t the life he had now, he’d left that behind the day he packed up the truck and drove through Arkansas and ended up in Nebraska to start his freshman year at Hastings.
Just being there at the college was an accomplishment for him, nobody in his family had ever even thought of going to college before now. Let alone on a scholarship that paid for more than seventy-five percent of his expenses.
Lindsey had a nice part-time job working in the coffee bar in the Perkins library on the south-west corner of the campus. There were good points and bad, mostly good thankfully. The pay was good, almost good enough for him not to worry about little things he needed and giving him just enough extra that he could go out with his friends and see a movie every so often. He also took full advantage of working so close to the library, between studying for school and finding such rich literary books that he’d only dreamed of before… Things were looking up for him for a change.
For the past two semesters he had worked hard in his classes, majoring in criminal justice with a minor in art history. Lindsey was determined to clean himself up and not be the backwoods country boy that people thought he was at first glance.
His accent was the first thing he struggled to tone down, it only came out strongly when he was incredibly drunk or angry; both of which was seldom. It took effort but he had also managed to bring his GPA up and keep it steady at 3.8, putting him in the upper portion of his class and granting him a spot in Hansen House his sophomore year. That pulled him out of the crowded dorms and into a private house with nine other men; there was always something going on. If it wasn’t football outside on the lawn, they were throwing parties.
He never found himself too fond of those parties; he’d go and make nice with his friends, have some beer and more often than not he’d end up the center of someone’s attention.
Lindsey did have one problem with girls; too many of them. Every party he went to - though few at that - there was always some tall blonde that would hit on him, inviting him back to her room. That invitation was never for cookies and a movie.
He never complained.
But there was always something missing; there was always something missing from the women he slept with.
“Lindsey!” Jason banged on the wall by the door, breaking Lindsey from his thoughts. “C’mon, they’re having a party over in the girls dorms.” His friend grinned at him, smirking and fixing his shirt, when he noticed the music playing in the room. “God man, what the hell are you listening to? This shit’ll put you to sleep.”
Rolling his eyes, Lindsey stood and walked over to the door. “Its classical music for a section we’re working on in art history.” Looking over at the clock he ran his fingers through his medium length hair and shook his head. “Can’t, I’ve gotta study. If I don’t pass my criminal justice midterm I’m going to get my ass handed to me.”
Jason gave him a look and punched him in the arm lightly. “Bull-fucking-shit. Dude, you know that you’re passing that class with fucking flying colors. I swear you’re making the teacher look bad with your grades.”
He laughed and shook his head. “No I ain’t…” He stopped and corrected himself. “I’m just above water in that class and I need to keep above water. I don’t get money handed to me like everyone else around here. I have a scholarship to keep.”
“Whatever dude, you just need to get laid. I mean Susan’s gonna be there and you know she’s been hot for your ass since last semester. I bet all you have to do is smile and she’ll jump at the chance to drag you to her room.” Jason leered at him, walking over to his side of the room and pulled out a sealed box of condoms, dangling them like they were a prize.
Lindsey ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the blush creeping up on his cheeks. “Stop that, she’s a nice girl…” Okay, she wasn’t really, but he didn’t want to be rude. He had some respect.
“Uh-huh.” Jason kept his mouth shut and pulled his leather jacket from his closet. “Are you comin’?” Lindsey shook his head and shrugged. “Your loss, man.”
Sighing and shaking his head in amusement at Jason, Lindsey closed the door behind his friend and moved back over to his desk. This was the forth party in two weeks that he blew off to study, but he knew that you didn’t get anywhere in life unless you worked for it. Jason was one of his best friends but he didn’t understand what Lindsey was working for; he had seven platinum cards that his parent’s paid for and he didn’t know what struggle was.
Lindsey can’t seem to forget it.
He reached over and pressed play, and the scratching noise of a homemade tape flowed from the speakers. It was something Lindsey played when he was sure nobody was listening. The soft methodic chords filled the room with music that he had yet to find words for, each note making him wish he had more time for his guitar that was currently collecting dust in a ratty case under his bed.
Another time, another place, someday he’d have time again. He would find a small nightclub or a bar; using some made up name with dim lights all around him, cowboy hat tipped down over his eyes and he’d play till his fingers bled.
It would all come in time and he knew that; but now he had to study and fight for something that everyone else got handed to them.
An hour later there was a soft knock that pulled Lindsey away from his midterm. Sighing, he put down his pen and walked over to the door, his bare feet hitting the cold tiles as he walked.
When he pulled the door open he found himself staring at an older man dressed in a suit, clearly looking out of place. “Lindsey McDonald?” Lindsey nodded, looking at him questioningly. “Holland Manners.” Reaching out his hand, he took the business card that was offered to him. “I’d like to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime…”
Author: [remember_nomore/simply_shiny]
Fandom: Angel the Series
Character: Lindsey McDonald
Character’s Age: 20
Other Parts: [Found Here]
Word Count: 1394
Rating: PG-13
Beta: strangecreature, the only one who can make fun of my writing and get away with it *ties her up with cord and smirks*
Author's Notes: This chapter proves that I’m the worlds biggest nerd. I spent three hours at the website for Hastings College to write this chapter. Written for everyfiveyears. *chinwibble* Only one more...maybe two after this in the series...
The Hardest Choice
”Lindsey?” Anna’s voice was quiet as she pulled on his shirt, her eyes welling up with tears as she tried to get her older brother's attention. “Where’s all your stuff? Everythin’s all gone,” she whispered as she looked around, trying to figure out what was going on.
“I know, peanut.” He took her hand and pulled her over to the bed where Philip sat and waited for him. “I’ve gotta talk to you two.” Anna looked at him with childlike eyes, even for her age - turning fourteen in a few months - she still clung to him like when she was six.
“You’re leavin’.” Philip crossed his arms over his chest, an angry look on his face. “Jus’ like everyone else.”
Lindsey sighed and shook his head. “You know it ain’t like that.” He ran his fingers through his hair and looked over at Anna. Cupping her face he brushed the few tears from her eyes and pulled her to him. “Goin’ to school, you know I gotta. It’ll be ok, I’m gonna go and get a good job and get us out of this place.”
“Promise?”
He nodded and hugged Anna, smoothing her sandy blond hair away from her face. “Promise.”
That was two years ago and he hasn’t been back since. Not for holidays or birthdays. He was filled with guilt that he never went back when Anna called and told them that their grandmother died. But he couldn’t, he had three papers due and there wasn’t anything he could do he knew that they’d both be safe at their aunt’s in Tennessee. It was better for them that way. He couldn’t provide what they needed; not now anyway.
It was too hard for him; he felt like he’d be intruding on that life. The life he had back in Oklahoma wasn’t the life he had now, he’d left that behind the day he packed up the truck and drove through Arkansas and ended up in Nebraska to start his freshman year at Hastings.
Just being there at the college was an accomplishment for him, nobody in his family had ever even thought of going to college before now. Let alone on a scholarship that paid for more than seventy-five percent of his expenses.
Lindsey had a nice part-time job working in the coffee bar in the Perkins library on the south-west corner of the campus. There were good points and bad, mostly good thankfully. The pay was good, almost good enough for him not to worry about little things he needed and giving him just enough extra that he could go out with his friends and see a movie every so often. He also took full advantage of working so close to the library, between studying for school and finding such rich literary books that he’d only dreamed of before… Things were looking up for him for a change.
For the past two semesters he had worked hard in his classes, majoring in criminal justice with a minor in art history. Lindsey was determined to clean himself up and not be the backwoods country boy that people thought he was at first glance.
His accent was the first thing he struggled to tone down, it only came out strongly when he was incredibly drunk or angry; both of which was seldom. It took effort but he had also managed to bring his GPA up and keep it steady at 3.8, putting him in the upper portion of his class and granting him a spot in Hansen House his sophomore year. That pulled him out of the crowded dorms and into a private house with nine other men; there was always something going on. If it wasn’t football outside on the lawn, they were throwing parties.
He never found himself too fond of those parties; he’d go and make nice with his friends, have some beer and more often than not he’d end up the center of someone’s attention.
Lindsey did have one problem with girls; too many of them. Every party he went to - though few at that - there was always some tall blonde that would hit on him, inviting him back to her room. That invitation was never for cookies and a movie.
He never complained.
But there was always something missing; there was always something missing from the women he slept with.
“Lindsey!” Jason banged on the wall by the door, breaking Lindsey from his thoughts. “C’mon, they’re having a party over in the girls dorms.” His friend grinned at him, smirking and fixing his shirt, when he noticed the music playing in the room. “God man, what the hell are you listening to? This shit’ll put you to sleep.”
Rolling his eyes, Lindsey stood and walked over to the door. “Its classical music for a section we’re working on in art history.” Looking over at the clock he ran his fingers through his medium length hair and shook his head. “Can’t, I’ve gotta study. If I don’t pass my criminal justice midterm I’m going to get my ass handed to me.”
Jason gave him a look and punched him in the arm lightly. “Bull-fucking-shit. Dude, you know that you’re passing that class with fucking flying colors. I swear you’re making the teacher look bad with your grades.”
He laughed and shook his head. “No I ain’t…” He stopped and corrected himself. “I’m just above water in that class and I need to keep above water. I don’t get money handed to me like everyone else around here. I have a scholarship to keep.”
“Whatever dude, you just need to get laid. I mean Susan’s gonna be there and you know she’s been hot for your ass since last semester. I bet all you have to do is smile and she’ll jump at the chance to drag you to her room.” Jason leered at him, walking over to his side of the room and pulled out a sealed box of condoms, dangling them like they were a prize.
Lindsey ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the blush creeping up on his cheeks. “Stop that, she’s a nice girl…” Okay, she wasn’t really, but he didn’t want to be rude. He had some respect.
“Uh-huh.” Jason kept his mouth shut and pulled his leather jacket from his closet. “Are you comin’?” Lindsey shook his head and shrugged. “Your loss, man.”
Sighing and shaking his head in amusement at Jason, Lindsey closed the door behind his friend and moved back over to his desk. This was the forth party in two weeks that he blew off to study, but he knew that you didn’t get anywhere in life unless you worked for it. Jason was one of his best friends but he didn’t understand what Lindsey was working for; he had seven platinum cards that his parent’s paid for and he didn’t know what struggle was.
Lindsey can’t seem to forget it.
He reached over and pressed play, and the scratching noise of a homemade tape flowed from the speakers. It was something Lindsey played when he was sure nobody was listening. The soft methodic chords filled the room with music that he had yet to find words for, each note making him wish he had more time for his guitar that was currently collecting dust in a ratty case under his bed.
Another time, another place, someday he’d have time again. He would find a small nightclub or a bar; using some made up name with dim lights all around him, cowboy hat tipped down over his eyes and he’d play till his fingers bled.
It would all come in time and he knew that; but now he had to study and fight for something that everyone else got handed to them.
An hour later there was a soft knock that pulled Lindsey away from his midterm. Sighing, he put down his pen and walked over to the door, his bare feet hitting the cold tiles as he walked.
When he pulled the door open he found himself staring at an older man dressed in a suit, clearly looking out of place. “Lindsey McDonald?” Lindsey nodded, looking at him questioningly. “Holland Manners.” Reaching out his hand, he took the business card that was offered to him. “I’d like to offer you the opportunity of a lifetime…”