fic; don't look now (you've got me going)
Title: Don't look now (you've got me going)
Pairing: Ryo/Shige
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Something Ryo says subconsciously about Shige in an interview leads him to realize he might mean it consciously, too.
Author’s Note: 5332 words. For drphoenix who asked for awkward!ryoshige in the fic-wish list meme. I started it because you said you wanted awkward!ryoshige but in the end it didn’t really turn out that awkward. XD Sorry. XD I hope you’ll like it anyway, Rose! ♥ This was inspired by the RyoShige messages in the NEWS Duet 2011.01 translation (locked to hellomichi, join to read). Thanks to Jenn for all of the wonderful help! ♥ The title is from Far East Movement's Don't look now.
Ryo heads into a NEWS meeting expecting it to be like every other one. Even though Pi’s got solo activities going on soon, they’re still meeting to start planning for their next tour and single. This time, the second he opens the door, he’s surprised by how quiet it is. Usually someone is laughing or talking loudly, going off about whatever happened to them recently, but today it’s silent and Ryo almost wonders if he came at the wrong time.
But then he sees Koyama and Tegoshi whispering in the corner. They both look up at him when he enter, then turn back to each other and whisper more urgently. Ryo stares at them for a second before shaking his head and sitting on the couch, figuring they’re planning another prank to play on Shige or something. Five minutes later, Massu walks in, nodding at Ryo and then joining Koyama and Tegoshi who both wave him over with importance. Ryo raises a brow in their direction, but they don’t seem to be concerned about letting him into their discussion, so, only mildly annoyed, Ryo grabs a magazine off the table next to him and flips through it.
Yamapi arrives looking tired and wrung out and collapses across the empty couch with a heavy sigh. But a few seconds later he’s being waved over by Tegoshi and Yamapi blinks tiredly at them before heading over to join. Ryo pauses in turning a page of the magazine, not really reading any of the words, distracted by his bandmates’ behavior. He strains to listen but doesn’t pick up anything, hears Yamapi gasp, feels Yamapi’s eyes on him, all of their eyes on him, and that’s really all he can take.
He throws the magazine back onto the table with more force than necessary and nearly shouts, “If you have something to say, then fucking say it!”
They all disperse, Yamapi giving Ryo a giant smirk before he falls onto the couch again, Massu busying himself with getting ready for their photo shoot, Tegoshi sits next to Ryo on the couch and stares like he’s trying to read Ryo’s mind, and Koyama, of course, is beaming as he comes up to Ryo with shining eyes.
“What, Koyama?” Ryo snaps, annoyed but mostly curious.
“I am just so happy!” Koyama exclaims.
Ryo just raises a brow. “What happened this time?”
“I didn’t know, Ryo-chan! Why didn’t you say anything?” Koyama says and now Ryo is just confused.
“What’re you talking about?”
“What you wrote in the magazine!”
Ryo gives Koyama a hard stare. “You have to be more specific, Koyama. I say a lot of things for the magazines,” he says.
“I mean,” Koyama exclaims, “what you said about loving Shige!”
“What?!” comes a voice that is not Ryo, even though he shares the same sentiments.
Turning, he finds Shige in the doorway, clearly having just arrived to hear Koyama’s accusation. While Koyama grins between them, Ryo meets Shige’s surprised eyes and feels heat instinctively rise in his cheeks.
Oh, he thinks, that.
-
“Ryo-chan, you shouldn’t make Koyama cry!” Yamapi scolds, finally looking awake and patting Koyama on the shoulder. On Koyama’s other side is Shige, looking both embarrassed and confused, staring at his feet.
“It’s not like I meant to,” Ryo mutters, wishing the world would swallow him whole. “I didn’t even do anything!”
“You said you didn’t love Shige,” Massu says, sounding like Ryo’s said the worst thing in the world.
“That’s because it’s true!” Ryo exclaims.
“Why don’t you love Shige?” Yamapi questions instantly. “Everyone loves Shige!”
Shige flushes and shakes his head profusely but no one is paying him attention.
“Look,” Ryo says, feeling really uncomfortable about this whole thing. “Just because I mention something in a magazine about how I loved Shige, doesn’t mean I really do. And it’s Koyama’s fault for thinking otherwise!” He fidgets awkwardly, forces down a blush, and looks anywhere but at Shige whose gaze he can feel on his face. “I was just setting it straight, okay?”
“You could’ve lied,” Tegoshi says, patting Koyama on the shoulder consolingly.
“What for?!” Ryo snaps. “It’s his fault for getting ahead of himself. As if I’d love Shige.”
Everyone except Shige collectively gasps and Ryo groans, wonders if it’s too late to fake sick and go back home. This is really the last thing he needs to deal with. Before he can yell at them all to get a grip, Shige is laughing and saying, “You guys, calm down. It’s not like I love Nishikido-kun or anything, either, you know. Quit making a big deal out of nothing.”
Ryo kind of loves him a lot right now, nodding his agreement and giving the others a glare. “See, like he said. There’s nothing going on,” he says. “Now stop crying Koyama, we have work to do.”
As he turns to grab some much-needed medication from his bag, Ryo can already feel the headache forming, he misses the sad look Shige gives him and the worried look Koyama gives Shige as he watches them.
-
It’s not that he doesn’t love Shige. It’s just that he doesn’t love him like that. Ryo thinks it should be obvious he didn’t mean it in anyway other than as a friendly-bandmate. It’s for the fans, he tells himself, so they have something to flail over.
He doesn’t love Shige.
“Thanks,” Ryo says during a break, stretching as he eyes Shige who looks at him with confusion. “For before. Setting them straight. You know what I meant by that, right?”
Shige stares at him for awhile longer, making Ryo wonder if he’s got something on his face, but then Shige lets out a small chuckle. “O-Of course,” he replies.
“Good,” Ryo says, grins. “I can’t believe they’d have thought otherwise.” He mock-eyes Shige critically and adds, “Why would I ever be interested in you?”
Shige smiles, but Ryo can’t help but notice how it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t worry, Nishikido-kun. The feeling is mutual. You’re not really my type.”
“I’m everyone’s type,” Ryo insists and this time Shige fully laughs, lighting up his eyes, and it has Ryo’s skin heating up inexplicably. He looks away quickly and nearly jumps when Shige pats his shoulder and says, “Sure, Nishikido-kun, you tell yourself that.”
“Hey!” Ryo exclaims as Shige walks past him to the door, and Shige just turns to throw him a smug look over his shoulder before he leaves the room. Ryo stares after him for a long time afterward, a strange feeling in his gut and Shige’s laugh embedded in his brain.
-
Ryo doesn’t usually read his own magazine interviews or any of the members’ unless they make him. But because of what happened the day before, Ryo finds himself grabbing the issue of Duet sitting on the table at the photo shoot he’s at with Kanjani8 and flips through it until he finds the page with his face on it.
Reading it now he can almost see what Koyama was going on about and embarrassment fills him. He doesn’t even remember saying this, even though the sentiment is true. It was cute, the Shige who came in the next day with his hair cut short, a self-conscious smile, and nervous eyes. Ryo remembers smirking at him and Shige grumbling and punching him half-heartedly in the shoulder as he passed by, and Ryo remembers laughing, telling him it looked much better now.
But none of that means Ryo actually has any feelings for Shige outside of being a friend and a bandmate. He just likes the Shige who went and got his hair cut because Ryo had mentioned it (to an entire Dome-full of fans, but that was beside the point). That’s all there is to it.
Ryo closes the magazine and tosses it back onto the table. It’s immediately picked up by Ohkura who flops onto the couch beside him.
“I saw your declaration of love for Shige,” Ohkura says in form of greeting and Ryo groans loudly.
“It was not a declaration of love!” he exclaims, turning red, and Ohkura just raises a brow.
“Oh, really?” he questions, idly flipping through the magazine. “Because with the way you’re reacting, I’m convinced otherwise.”
“Fuck you,” Ryo snaps. “First Koyama, now you. It’s not like that.”
“If you’re sure,” Ohkura says, and drops the magazine between them. “But next time you should consider what Shige might think before you make untrue confessions.”
“What-” Ryo starts but Ohkura just taps the magazine and then heads back off when he hears his name being called. Ryo stares after him for awhile before he turns back to the magazine and picks it up. He doesn’t notice anything right away but then he sees it, Shige’s note to him.
“Oh, fuck,” he mutters as he reads the words over and over again, an uneasy feeling in his gut.
-
When Shige invites Ryo out for drinks a few days later, Ryo’s a little surprised. But it’s been awhile and he never actually turns down drinking, so he accepts and they bid goodbyes to the rest of the members and head off toward their favorite place.
Nothing feels off, they’re laughing and talking as usual, but Ryo can’t help but remember that message Shige had left him. It’s been in the back of his mind since he saw it, wonders what Shige means by it. But if Shige doesn’t bring it up then Ryo isn’t going to either. He can’t expect Ryo to know without telling him. Ryo probably would never have seen that message if it wasn’t for Ohkura in the first place.
He almost wishes Ohkura hadn’t. Ryo wouldn’t mind being blissfully ignorant. Especially when he spends most of the night taking note of how Shige calls him Nishikido-kun more than he ever has before. And now, for the first time, it bothers him.
Grumbling under his breath, blaming Ohkura for everything, Ryo downs his second shot and glares at the empty glass. None of this would be a problem if he hadn’t seen Shige’s stupid message. It’s Shige’s fault, really. If he wants to get rid of the formality between them then he should be a man about it and ask Ryo himself. At least that’s what Ryo tells himself, trying hard not to bring it up on his own because it’s becoming all he can think about, barely paying attention to what Shige’s actually talking about.
“Are you okay?” Shige questions, changing direction mid-sentence to give Ryo a concerned look. “If you don’t want to be here, it’s okay-”
“Did I say that?” Ryo questions quickly. “Sorry. I just have something on my mind.”
Shige nods in understanding, pours more drink for him, and offers, “Want to talk about it?”
Ryo downs half the glass and sighs. He wonders if he even could bring it up, feels a little stupid about it. “No,” he says finally, and takes another sip of his drink.
Shige shrugs. “Okay,” he says. “If you’re-”
“I saw your message,” Ryo blurts out and when Shige’s eyes widen, Ryo flushes with embarrassment and internally blames the alcohol.
“W-What message?” Shige questions.
“The one in Duet,” Ryo replies.
Now Shige flushes, dropping his gaze to the table. “Oh, that,” he says quietly.
“You should’ve just asked me yourself,” Ryo says as he pulls out a cigarette and lighter. “I wouldn’t have even seen it if Ohkura hadn’t shown it to me.”
“I wasn’t sure how to bring it up,” Shige admits.
“Well,” Ryo says awkwardly, clears his throat and finishes, “you can. If you want.”
Shige finally meets his eyes again, but then looks away quickly. He seems to be pondering it which only makes Ryo nervous. What does he have to think about now, he wonders, doesn’t he already want this? And that only serves to make Ryo more confused because why does he care so much? He wouldn’t have even considered letting Shige call him Ryo if it wasn’t for his message. They probably would’ve gone on for years just as they are and Ryo wouldn’t have realized at all.
Just as he’s starting to get a little annoyed at Shige’s delayed response, Shige says tentatively, “R-Ryo? Ryo-chan?”
Ryo starts, that feeling buzzing under his skin as he meets Shige’s cautious eyes. He’s not sure why, but he likes it already, the way his name sounds in Shige’s voice. But it’s a little weird, and when Shige starts to laugh, he knows Shige’s thinking the same.
“Sorry,” he laughs, “it-it feels different.”
Ryo just exhales a drag from his cigarette and smirks. “A little,” he agrees, contemplative. “Maybe. Just Ryo?”
Shige looks surprised but then tries it out. “Ryo,” he says confidently, their eyes locked. “Ryo.”
And that funny sensation is back, making Ryo smile embarrassedly and look away as he says, “It’ll definitely take some getting used to.”
Shige’s laughter, that smile on his face, and the way he calls Ryo by his name for the rest of the night more than makes up for bringing up the message in the first place. It’ll take getting used to, but in the mean time, Ryo doesn’t mind the happy feeling it gives him.
-
The first time Shige calls Ryo by his name at a NEWS meeting, the other members gasp and stare back and forth between them. Predictably, Koyama looks ready to cry in happiness, probably literally seeing the bond strengthen between them or something, while Yamapi smirks at Ryo and Tegoshi and Massu grin at them both.
“It’s not like that!” Ryo immediately says, getting tired of defending himself.
“You’re mighty defensive, Ryo-chan,” Yamapi teases. “Are you sure there’s nothing going on?”
“Of course there isn’t,” Ryo says, turns to Shige and adds, “Right, Shige?”
Shige looks at him, and for a second Ryo sees a hint of sadness in his eyes. It’s gone by the time he feels an uncomfortable pang in his belly and now Shige is smiling, nodding at the others in the group. “Like Ryo said,” he says and his voice is quiet, reflecting the sadness Ryo is certain he saw in his eyes. “There’s nothing going on. We’re just friends.”
They all look at Ryo, whose reaction is delayed as his mind is still contemplating that look in Shige’s eyes, and he quickly nods. “Exactly,” he says, grinning, pushing the thoughts away and reaching over to ruffle Shige’s hair teasingly.
Shige’s eyes widen, catching Ryo’s, before he breaks out into a laugh and swats at Ryo’s hand. Something stirs in Ryo’s chest, a strange feeling that lingers long after Shige’s moved over to sit by Koyama and they’ve started their meeting. He doesn’t know what it is other than that it has him acutely aware of how Shige’s soft hair felt in his fingers, how Shige’s touch felt on his skin when he pushed his hand away, and how Shige’s smile made his heart beat a little faster.
By the time Ryo leaves that day, he thinks he might just have a problem.
-
He thinks he’ll get used to it, or that it’d just go away after a day or two. But a week passes and something in Ryo sparks whenever Shige calls him by his name, whenever Shige looks at him, catching his gaze for a second, whenever Shige laughs, smiles, whenever he accidently touches Ryo with warm, soft fingers.
There’s definitely something wrong, Ryo thinks, hating the way he tends to forget whatever was on his mind whenever Shige interrupts his thoughts. The even weirder thing is that he doesn’t exactly hate it, this feeling. He likes Shige’s smile, likes hearing him laugh and say his name, rolling off his tongue as though Shige was always meant to say it, still looking occasionally shy when he says it, and Ryo can’t help but think Shige’s kind of adorable then and he sort of loves that about him.
He almost laughs at the revelation. Is that what it is, he wonders. That’s what got him into this mess in the first place, isn’t it? Admitting he “loved” Shige just because he did something rather adorable. But Ryo can’t deny that it’s true, remembering the way his heart jumped a little when Shige came in that day with shorter hair, just the same feeling whenever Shige reverts to saying Nishikido-kun and then catches himself, apologizes, and corrects himself, a nervous smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
But does that mean he loves Shige? Ryo can’t find the answer to that.
So he does his best to ignore it. He’s pretty good at it, too. Or maybe Shige is just too oblivious because Yamapi keeps giving Ryo smug, know-it-all looks whenever Shige does something to make Ryo’s heart race without realizing it. Ryo knows Yamapi’s more observant than he lets on and wonders just what Yamapi thinks he sees.
Thankfully he doesn’t mention anything because Ryo’s not sure what he’d say if he did. But he can’t help thinking Yamapi has ulterior motives when he invites Shige out with them on a Friday night, grinning broadly at Ryo when Shige accepts. Jin ends up joining them, probably just because Yamapi called and told him to and giving Shige a kind of once over before he slides in beside Ryo.
Ryo realizes he notices Shige more when he’s had a few drinks. If he thought how he’d been feeling earlier was bad, right now it was nearly unbearable. He just does his best to ignore it, laughing at Jin on the outside when he whines, “It is a sad night when Kato gets more attention than me,” while inwardly seething at the sixth girl that has stopped by to ask Shige to dance.
“Me,” Jin reiterates as if no one heard him. “I’m an international-fucking-artist!”
“Not yet, you aren’t,” Shige retorts, looking a little flustered by the attention.
“Fuck you,” Jin says easily. “Girls are asking you to dance and you’re turning them down. What is wrong with you?”
Shige shrugs, eyes on the dance floor for a moment before turning back to them. “I’m not interested in them,” he says, and Ryo wonders if he imagined Shige meeting his eyes when he says it. But Shige is staring at the table when he looks again and Ryo tries to push the thought away, reaching for his drink and downing the rest.
“Who are you interested in, then?” Jin questions Shige critically. “Those girls were hot, man.”
“I’m not saying they aren’t,” Shige replies, frowning, and Ryo feels his blood boil strangely at Shige’s admission. “I’m just not interested.”
“Well, you’re an idiot. I’m not going to just let them go,” Jin says, sliding out of the booth after downing his shot. He looks at Yamapi and Ryo expectantly and Yamapi gets up with him. Ryo watches them disappear into the crowd, kind of hating them for leaving him alone with Shige in his current state, but knowing they don’t know not to. He sees Jin find one of the girls Shige had turned down and pull her onto the floor while Yamapi soon does the same.
He turns away and reaches for his drink only to remember it’s finished. He stares at the bottom of the empty glass then looks up and inwardly jumps as his eyes meet Shige’s, not realizing the other was watching him. Shige looks a little like he was caught doing something bad, flushing and averting his gaze quickly.
“D-Do you want to get more to drink?” Shige asks, nodding at Ryo’s empty glass.
Ryo eyes him, feels that weird burning sensation inside him again and set his glass down. “I want to dance,” he says, stands, and Shige stares at him with wide eyes. Ryo smirks. He’s not sure what’s making him do this, but it’s too late now. “Come on.”
“W-Wait, Ryo-” Shige says, confused, but following despite himself.
“Loosen up, Shige,” Ryo says, smiling encouragingly. “It’s not like you’ve never come and danced with us before.”
“Well, yeah, but-”
Ryo ignores him, scanning the crowd until he finds a few girls standing by the bar, watching the dance floor. It’s easy to talk them up, say the right words, offer a perfected smile, and they’re laughing, tucking hair behind their ears and nodding with light in their eyes.
It isn’t until they’ve danced through at least four songs that Ryo realizes he’s not paying attention to the girl grinding back against him at all. His eyes are on Shige standing a few feet away with the other girl, rocking together with ease and sensuality, his hands on her hips as she slides her own up his back. Shige can be awkward around girls when he wants to be, but Ryo’s hung out with him enough within the past few years to know he’s not like that all the time. And right now, he doesn’t seem to be holding much back, moving against his dance partner with perfection, his eyes piercing hers, lips tugging into a subconscious smirk.
And that blood-boiling feeling is back, gripping Ryo so strongly until he’s fuming with a feeling he can’t describe. He should stop looking but his eyes remain on Shige like a magnet and he wonders how Shige can’t feel his gaze on him with how hard he’s watching. It isn’t until the girl Shige’s dancing with leans up just a little, pressing her lips against the corner of Shige’s mouth that Ryo sees red, and he doesn’t even know why he’s feeling this way - he doesn’t like Shige, he doesn’t, but the song is changing and Ryo’s glad for it because people are leaving the floor and more are coming in and he can whisper a half-hearted goodbye to the girl he was with before heading straight over to Shige and grabbing him by the arm.
Shige looks at him with surprise, probably taken aback by the fury in Ryo’s eyes, and Ryo drags him off the dance floor. Ryo’s pulse is throbbing and he thinks he might have gone momentarily insane because he really has no idea what he’s doing, ignoring Shige’s questioning voice and leading him off to somewhere empty.
Of course that’s hard to come across in a club and Ryo kicks open the bathroom door when they pass by, luckily being the only ones in there because in the next second Ryo’s suddenly got Shige pushed up against the door followed by Shige’s mouth on his. He feels Shige tense but as Ryo pries his lips apart with his tongue Shige relaxes, responds, and all Ryo can feel is his soft lips against Ryo, the rush of alcohol and insanity in his veins dictating his movements.
But reality slams into him when Shige pushes Ryo into the adjacent wall and kisses harder, almost with desperation, and Ryo’s eyes widen as he pushes Shige back and sucks air between his teeth. Shige looks at him with confusion and Ryo’s staring back with shock, realizing just exactly what he’s done, panic rippling through him. Before Shige can say anything, Ryo’s muttering a half-assed apology - he’s not sure if he is sorry - and gets the hell out of there.
Once outside the club Ryo texts Yamapi to tell him he’s leaving and then he grabs a cab and goes home. And the entire ride back he tries hard not to think about just how amazing that kiss was.
-
Ryo wakes up to a pounding headache and Shige on the other side of his door.
“Fuck,” he breathes as Shige looks amused by Ryo’s bed-hair and disheveled appearance; he’s still in the clothes he wore to the club last night. “It wasn’t a dream, was it?”
Shige actually smirks, letting himself in and shutting the door after. “If you mean that kiss, then, sorry, but no. It definitely happened.”
“Fuck,” Ryo repeats, rubbing his temple with his fingers. Then he finally seems to really notice that Shige’s standing in his genkan. “What are you doing here?”
“I think that would be obvious,” Shige answers, looking only a little awkward.
“Right,” Ryo says slowly, “right.” He feels awkward, too. “Uhm. I’m going to shower. You can. Just wait. I’ll be right back.”
He escapes to the bathroom before Shige can stop him. Under the cool water his mind clears and that panic he felt when he left the club last night comes crashing back. What the fuck is he supposed to do, now?
Half of him almost wants to hide in the bathroom until Shige just gets up and leaves, but the other half knows he should go out and face it; this was his fault, anyway. Reluctantly, Ryo pulls on sweatpants and joins Shige, toweling his hair.
Shige’s sitting on the couch, instantly looks up when Ryo enters. His eyes widen a little and he looks away quickly and Ryo feels a smirk tugging at his lips. He sits down next to Shige, tossing the towel onto the top of the couch and shaking his hair from his face. The tension is nearly tangible between them and Ryo clears his throat, starts, “L-Let’s not make this more awkward than it-”
“Why did you kiss me?” Shige interrupts, looking a little like he’s been holding this question in since last night.
Ryo doesn’t blame him. “I-I don’t know,” he says quickly, instantly defensive. “Why, why did you kiss me back?”
The second he says it Ryo knows he shouldn’t have; how childish could he sound right now? But he can’t take the words back, instead stares at Shige expectantly, wonders if Shige will actually answer.
When Shige meets his eyes Ryo sees that same sadness he saw a few days earlier, feels that same pang in his chest. He’s overcome with the wish to never see that look in Shige’s eyes again, to close the distance between them and kiss him again if only to make that look disappear. He’s almost tempted, shifting forward, when Shige suddenly laughs and looks away again.
“I-I must have been drunk, or something,” he says and it takes Ryo a moment to realize he’s answering Ryo’s previous question.
But the way he won’t meet Ryo’s eyes, the way he strings his fingers together in his lap tells Ryo there’s more than just that. “You’re lying,” he accuses.
The way Shige tenses tells Ryo he’s right and he prods Shige in the shoulder to get him to spill. “What’re you hiding?” he questions, teasing more than he really cares for the answer, finding amusement in Shige squirming away from him, looking torn between telling him and keeping his mouth shut.
It’s the former that eventually wins out, pushing Ryo away as Shige nearly screams, “I like you, okay?!”
Ryo freezes where he falls back against the couch’s armrest, eyes widening with surprise while Shige seems a little relieved, albeit nervous. Ryo stares back, dumbfounded, because he wasn’t expecting this answer at all, and what the fuck is he supposed to do now?
First he sits back up as his heart hammers in his ears and he thinks back on the past week or so, thinks about the kiss from last night, thinks about Shige and asks himself the following question:
Do you like Shige?
The question is simple but Ryo’s answer is not; he doesn’t know. He thinks about it harder and he still doesn’t know. Yes, Shige is his friend; yes, he likes hanging out with him; yes, he likes him, but does he like him the same way Shige is implying he does?
Ryo really doesn’t know.
He meets Shige’s eyes and starts, “S-Shige, I-” but he doesn’t know what to say.
Shige catches onto the hesitation, the confusion in Ryo’s eyes, and says, his voice wavering only a little in anxiety, but his gaze remains firm, “I’m not asking you to tell me you love me to my face. I’m just asking you to kiss me like that again.”
Ryo still isn’t sure what to say, his pulse in his ears as Shige continues to stare at him expectantly, waiting for an answer, but Ryo’s not sure what to tell him. He does know he wouldn’t mind kissing Shige again, his mind already supplying the feelings from last night, the exhilaration he felt, the willingness to do it again, right now, tugging desperately at him. This might be the only thing he does know, and if it’s what Shige wants, Ryo thinks he might be able to deliver.
So he kisses him again, pushing Shige back against the couch cushions as he climbs awkwardly above him, moving his lips slowly along Shige’s until Shige parts his and meets Ryo’s tongue with his own. Ryo thinks he could keep on kissing Shige forever, especially now that he knows Shige wants it too. Shige definitely doesn’t seem opposed to this idea, sliding a hand up Ryo’s back to twist into his hair and kiss him harder.
Just as Ryo gets really into it, he misjudges the width of the couch, shifting to get closer and more comfortable, propping himself up with a hand on the end of the cushion. But in his attempt, he slips and comes crashing down painfully and falls straight off the couch.
For a second silence follows, and then Ryo groans loudly as his body protests the unceremonious landing. Shige props himself up on his elbows, looking down at Ryo from the couch and bursts into laughter that has his eyes shining and Ryo can’t really be angry at him because he looks a little gorgeous right now.
Instead Ryo just watches, a smile pulling at his lips as Shige laughs until it’s out of his system. Then he teases, “Thanks so much, Shige,” which makes Shige grin. Ryo gets to his feet and stretches a little, turning back to look at Shige who seems content lying across Ryo’s couch. The smile on Ryo’s face slowly turns into a frown as he thinks about what this all could mean, wondering if this could work, if-
“Ryo,” Shige says, and he’s sitting up now. “I know what you’re thinking. It’s okay.”
Ryo just scowls. “You can’t seriously be okay with this,” he says. “Shige, I don’t know if I-”
“It’s okay,” Shige reiterates and then grins brightly, reaching his eyes and lighting up his face, and Ryo knows he’s being honest. “It is. I never expected this to happen, ever. It’s okay with me.”
“But-” Ryo starts, stops, gnaws on the corner of his mouth and sighs. He runs a hand through his hair and gives Shige a helpless look.
Shige laughs as he gets to his feet and walks up to Ryo. Meeting his eyes directly he says, “It’s okay.” He grins. “And besides, since you kissed me first, I’m sure you like me too. Somewhere deep under that hard shell of yours.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to-” Ryo doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence because Shige is kissing him again and clearly this takes priority. As he kisses back, Ryo thinks Shige might be right, and that he won’t have to search that deep to find out that maybe his feelings for Shige are reciprocated.
-
Two days later, Ryo and Shige walk into a NEWS meeting together, bickering about something. It’s not an uncommon occasion that the other members don’t glance twice.
But when Ryo goes off on some ridiculous tangent about why he’s clearly better than Shige in everything, Shige decides to shut him up. With his mouth.
The collective gasps from the rest of the group is what pulls them away from each other in the end, and Ryo rolls his eyes at his bandmates while Shige laughs and answers their obvious thoughts.
“Yes,” he says, glancing at Ryo who smirks at him, “it is like that.”
end.
note: i hope you enjoyed it! :) thank you for reading~ ♥
Pairing: Ryo/Shige
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Something Ryo says subconsciously about Shige in an interview leads him to realize he might mean it consciously, too.
Author’s Note: 5332 words. For drphoenix who asked for awkward!ryoshige in the fic-wish list meme. I started it because you said you wanted awkward!ryoshige but in the end it didn’t really turn out that awkward. XD Sorry. XD I hope you’ll like it anyway, Rose! ♥ This was inspired by the RyoShige messages in the NEWS Duet 2011.01 translation (locked to hellomichi, join to read). Thanks to Jenn for all of the wonderful help! ♥ The title is from Far East Movement's Don't look now.
Ryo heads into a NEWS meeting expecting it to be like every other one. Even though Pi’s got solo activities going on soon, they’re still meeting to start planning for their next tour and single. This time, the second he opens the door, he’s surprised by how quiet it is. Usually someone is laughing or talking loudly, going off about whatever happened to them recently, but today it’s silent and Ryo almost wonders if he came at the wrong time.
But then he sees Koyama and Tegoshi whispering in the corner. They both look up at him when he enter, then turn back to each other and whisper more urgently. Ryo stares at them for a second before shaking his head and sitting on the couch, figuring they’re planning another prank to play on Shige or something. Five minutes later, Massu walks in, nodding at Ryo and then joining Koyama and Tegoshi who both wave him over with importance. Ryo raises a brow in their direction, but they don’t seem to be concerned about letting him into their discussion, so, only mildly annoyed, Ryo grabs a magazine off the table next to him and flips through it.
Yamapi arrives looking tired and wrung out and collapses across the empty couch with a heavy sigh. But a few seconds later he’s being waved over by Tegoshi and Yamapi blinks tiredly at them before heading over to join. Ryo pauses in turning a page of the magazine, not really reading any of the words, distracted by his bandmates’ behavior. He strains to listen but doesn’t pick up anything, hears Yamapi gasp, feels Yamapi’s eyes on him, all of their eyes on him, and that’s really all he can take.
He throws the magazine back onto the table with more force than necessary and nearly shouts, “If you have something to say, then fucking say it!”
They all disperse, Yamapi giving Ryo a giant smirk before he falls onto the couch again, Massu busying himself with getting ready for their photo shoot, Tegoshi sits next to Ryo on the couch and stares like he’s trying to read Ryo’s mind, and Koyama, of course, is beaming as he comes up to Ryo with shining eyes.
“What, Koyama?” Ryo snaps, annoyed but mostly curious.
“I am just so happy!” Koyama exclaims.
Ryo just raises a brow. “What happened this time?”
“I didn’t know, Ryo-chan! Why didn’t you say anything?” Koyama says and now Ryo is just confused.
“What’re you talking about?”
“What you wrote in the magazine!”
Ryo gives Koyama a hard stare. “You have to be more specific, Koyama. I say a lot of things for the magazines,” he says.
“I mean,” Koyama exclaims, “what you said about loving Shige!”
“What?!” comes a voice that is not Ryo, even though he shares the same sentiments.
Turning, he finds Shige in the doorway, clearly having just arrived to hear Koyama’s accusation. While Koyama grins between them, Ryo meets Shige’s surprised eyes and feels heat instinctively rise in his cheeks.
Oh, he thinks, that.
-
“Ryo-chan, you shouldn’t make Koyama cry!” Yamapi scolds, finally looking awake and patting Koyama on the shoulder. On Koyama’s other side is Shige, looking both embarrassed and confused, staring at his feet.
“It’s not like I meant to,” Ryo mutters, wishing the world would swallow him whole. “I didn’t even do anything!”
“You said you didn’t love Shige,” Massu says, sounding like Ryo’s said the worst thing in the world.
“That’s because it’s true!” Ryo exclaims.
“Why don’t you love Shige?” Yamapi questions instantly. “Everyone loves Shige!”
Shige flushes and shakes his head profusely but no one is paying him attention.
“Look,” Ryo says, feeling really uncomfortable about this whole thing. “Just because I mention something in a magazine about how I loved Shige, doesn’t mean I really do. And it’s Koyama’s fault for thinking otherwise!” He fidgets awkwardly, forces down a blush, and looks anywhere but at Shige whose gaze he can feel on his face. “I was just setting it straight, okay?”
“You could’ve lied,” Tegoshi says, patting Koyama on the shoulder consolingly.
“What for?!” Ryo snaps. “It’s his fault for getting ahead of himself. As if I’d love Shige.”
Everyone except Shige collectively gasps and Ryo groans, wonders if it’s too late to fake sick and go back home. This is really the last thing he needs to deal with. Before he can yell at them all to get a grip, Shige is laughing and saying, “You guys, calm down. It’s not like I love Nishikido-kun or anything, either, you know. Quit making a big deal out of nothing.”
Ryo kind of loves him a lot right now, nodding his agreement and giving the others a glare. “See, like he said. There’s nothing going on,” he says. “Now stop crying Koyama, we have work to do.”
As he turns to grab some much-needed medication from his bag, Ryo can already feel the headache forming, he misses the sad look Shige gives him and the worried look Koyama gives Shige as he watches them.
-
It’s not that he doesn’t love Shige. It’s just that he doesn’t love him like that. Ryo thinks it should be obvious he didn’t mean it in anyway other than as a friendly-bandmate. It’s for the fans, he tells himself, so they have something to flail over.
He doesn’t love Shige.
“Thanks,” Ryo says during a break, stretching as he eyes Shige who looks at him with confusion. “For before. Setting them straight. You know what I meant by that, right?”
Shige stares at him for awhile longer, making Ryo wonder if he’s got something on his face, but then Shige lets out a small chuckle. “O-Of course,” he replies.
“Good,” Ryo says, grins. “I can’t believe they’d have thought otherwise.” He mock-eyes Shige critically and adds, “Why would I ever be interested in you?”
Shige smiles, but Ryo can’t help but notice how it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Don’t worry, Nishikido-kun. The feeling is mutual. You’re not really my type.”
“I’m everyone’s type,” Ryo insists and this time Shige fully laughs, lighting up his eyes, and it has Ryo’s skin heating up inexplicably. He looks away quickly and nearly jumps when Shige pats his shoulder and says, “Sure, Nishikido-kun, you tell yourself that.”
“Hey!” Ryo exclaims as Shige walks past him to the door, and Shige just turns to throw him a smug look over his shoulder before he leaves the room. Ryo stares after him for a long time afterward, a strange feeling in his gut and Shige’s laugh embedded in his brain.
-
Ryo doesn’t usually read his own magazine interviews or any of the members’ unless they make him. But because of what happened the day before, Ryo finds himself grabbing the issue of Duet sitting on the table at the photo shoot he’s at with Kanjani8 and flips through it until he finds the page with his face on it.
Reading it now he can almost see what Koyama was going on about and embarrassment fills him. He doesn’t even remember saying this, even though the sentiment is true. It was cute, the Shige who came in the next day with his hair cut short, a self-conscious smile, and nervous eyes. Ryo remembers smirking at him and Shige grumbling and punching him half-heartedly in the shoulder as he passed by, and Ryo remembers laughing, telling him it looked much better now.
But none of that means Ryo actually has any feelings for Shige outside of being a friend and a bandmate. He just likes the Shige who went and got his hair cut because Ryo had mentioned it (to an entire Dome-full of fans, but that was beside the point). That’s all there is to it.
Ryo closes the magazine and tosses it back onto the table. It’s immediately picked up by Ohkura who flops onto the couch beside him.
“I saw your declaration of love for Shige,” Ohkura says in form of greeting and Ryo groans loudly.
“It was not a declaration of love!” he exclaims, turning red, and Ohkura just raises a brow.
“Oh, really?” he questions, idly flipping through the magazine. “Because with the way you’re reacting, I’m convinced otherwise.”
“Fuck you,” Ryo snaps. “First Koyama, now you. It’s not like that.”
“If you’re sure,” Ohkura says, and drops the magazine between them. “But next time you should consider what Shige might think before you make untrue confessions.”
“What-” Ryo starts but Ohkura just taps the magazine and then heads back off when he hears his name being called. Ryo stares after him for awhile before he turns back to the magazine and picks it up. He doesn’t notice anything right away but then he sees it, Shige’s note to him.
“Oh, fuck,” he mutters as he reads the words over and over again, an uneasy feeling in his gut.
-
When Shige invites Ryo out for drinks a few days later, Ryo’s a little surprised. But it’s been awhile and he never actually turns down drinking, so he accepts and they bid goodbyes to the rest of the members and head off toward their favorite place.
Nothing feels off, they’re laughing and talking as usual, but Ryo can’t help but remember that message Shige had left him. It’s been in the back of his mind since he saw it, wonders what Shige means by it. But if Shige doesn’t bring it up then Ryo isn’t going to either. He can’t expect Ryo to know without telling him. Ryo probably would never have seen that message if it wasn’t for Ohkura in the first place.
He almost wishes Ohkura hadn’t. Ryo wouldn’t mind being blissfully ignorant. Especially when he spends most of the night taking note of how Shige calls him Nishikido-kun more than he ever has before. And now, for the first time, it bothers him.
Grumbling under his breath, blaming Ohkura for everything, Ryo downs his second shot and glares at the empty glass. None of this would be a problem if he hadn’t seen Shige’s stupid message. It’s Shige’s fault, really. If he wants to get rid of the formality between them then he should be a man about it and ask Ryo himself. At least that’s what Ryo tells himself, trying hard not to bring it up on his own because it’s becoming all he can think about, barely paying attention to what Shige’s actually talking about.
“Are you okay?” Shige questions, changing direction mid-sentence to give Ryo a concerned look. “If you don’t want to be here, it’s okay-”
“Did I say that?” Ryo questions quickly. “Sorry. I just have something on my mind.”
Shige nods in understanding, pours more drink for him, and offers, “Want to talk about it?”
Ryo downs half the glass and sighs. He wonders if he even could bring it up, feels a little stupid about it. “No,” he says finally, and takes another sip of his drink.
Shige shrugs. “Okay,” he says. “If you’re-”
“I saw your message,” Ryo blurts out and when Shige’s eyes widen, Ryo flushes with embarrassment and internally blames the alcohol.
“W-What message?” Shige questions.
“The one in Duet,” Ryo replies.
Now Shige flushes, dropping his gaze to the table. “Oh, that,” he says quietly.
“You should’ve just asked me yourself,” Ryo says as he pulls out a cigarette and lighter. “I wouldn’t have even seen it if Ohkura hadn’t shown it to me.”
“I wasn’t sure how to bring it up,” Shige admits.
“Well,” Ryo says awkwardly, clears his throat and finishes, “you can. If you want.”
Shige finally meets his eyes again, but then looks away quickly. He seems to be pondering it which only makes Ryo nervous. What does he have to think about now, he wonders, doesn’t he already want this? And that only serves to make Ryo more confused because why does he care so much? He wouldn’t have even considered letting Shige call him Ryo if it wasn’t for his message. They probably would’ve gone on for years just as they are and Ryo wouldn’t have realized at all.
Just as he’s starting to get a little annoyed at Shige’s delayed response, Shige says tentatively, “R-Ryo? Ryo-chan?”
Ryo starts, that feeling buzzing under his skin as he meets Shige’s cautious eyes. He’s not sure why, but he likes it already, the way his name sounds in Shige’s voice. But it’s a little weird, and when Shige starts to laugh, he knows Shige’s thinking the same.
“Sorry,” he laughs, “it-it feels different.”
Ryo just exhales a drag from his cigarette and smirks. “A little,” he agrees, contemplative. “Maybe. Just Ryo?”
Shige looks surprised but then tries it out. “Ryo,” he says confidently, their eyes locked. “Ryo.”
And that funny sensation is back, making Ryo smile embarrassedly and look away as he says, “It’ll definitely take some getting used to.”
Shige’s laughter, that smile on his face, and the way he calls Ryo by his name for the rest of the night more than makes up for bringing up the message in the first place. It’ll take getting used to, but in the mean time, Ryo doesn’t mind the happy feeling it gives him.
-
The first time Shige calls Ryo by his name at a NEWS meeting, the other members gasp and stare back and forth between them. Predictably, Koyama looks ready to cry in happiness, probably literally seeing the bond strengthen between them or something, while Yamapi smirks at Ryo and Tegoshi and Massu grin at them both.
“It’s not like that!” Ryo immediately says, getting tired of defending himself.
“You’re mighty defensive, Ryo-chan,” Yamapi teases. “Are you sure there’s nothing going on?”
“Of course there isn’t,” Ryo says, turns to Shige and adds, “Right, Shige?”
Shige looks at him, and for a second Ryo sees a hint of sadness in his eyes. It’s gone by the time he feels an uncomfortable pang in his belly and now Shige is smiling, nodding at the others in the group. “Like Ryo said,” he says and his voice is quiet, reflecting the sadness Ryo is certain he saw in his eyes. “There’s nothing going on. We’re just friends.”
They all look at Ryo, whose reaction is delayed as his mind is still contemplating that look in Shige’s eyes, and he quickly nods. “Exactly,” he says, grinning, pushing the thoughts away and reaching over to ruffle Shige’s hair teasingly.
Shige’s eyes widen, catching Ryo’s, before he breaks out into a laugh and swats at Ryo’s hand. Something stirs in Ryo’s chest, a strange feeling that lingers long after Shige’s moved over to sit by Koyama and they’ve started their meeting. He doesn’t know what it is other than that it has him acutely aware of how Shige’s soft hair felt in his fingers, how Shige’s touch felt on his skin when he pushed his hand away, and how Shige’s smile made his heart beat a little faster.
By the time Ryo leaves that day, he thinks he might just have a problem.
-
He thinks he’ll get used to it, or that it’d just go away after a day or two. But a week passes and something in Ryo sparks whenever Shige calls him by his name, whenever Shige looks at him, catching his gaze for a second, whenever Shige laughs, smiles, whenever he accidently touches Ryo with warm, soft fingers.
There’s definitely something wrong, Ryo thinks, hating the way he tends to forget whatever was on his mind whenever Shige interrupts his thoughts. The even weirder thing is that he doesn’t exactly hate it, this feeling. He likes Shige’s smile, likes hearing him laugh and say his name, rolling off his tongue as though Shige was always meant to say it, still looking occasionally shy when he says it, and Ryo can’t help but think Shige’s kind of adorable then and he sort of loves that about him.
He almost laughs at the revelation. Is that what it is, he wonders. That’s what got him into this mess in the first place, isn’t it? Admitting he “loved” Shige just because he did something rather adorable. But Ryo can’t deny that it’s true, remembering the way his heart jumped a little when Shige came in that day with shorter hair, just the same feeling whenever Shige reverts to saying Nishikido-kun and then catches himself, apologizes, and corrects himself, a nervous smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
But does that mean he loves Shige? Ryo can’t find the answer to that.
So he does his best to ignore it. He’s pretty good at it, too. Or maybe Shige is just too oblivious because Yamapi keeps giving Ryo smug, know-it-all looks whenever Shige does something to make Ryo’s heart race without realizing it. Ryo knows Yamapi’s more observant than he lets on and wonders just what Yamapi thinks he sees.
Thankfully he doesn’t mention anything because Ryo’s not sure what he’d say if he did. But he can’t help thinking Yamapi has ulterior motives when he invites Shige out with them on a Friday night, grinning broadly at Ryo when Shige accepts. Jin ends up joining them, probably just because Yamapi called and told him to and giving Shige a kind of once over before he slides in beside Ryo.
Ryo realizes he notices Shige more when he’s had a few drinks. If he thought how he’d been feeling earlier was bad, right now it was nearly unbearable. He just does his best to ignore it, laughing at Jin on the outside when he whines, “It is a sad night when Kato gets more attention than me,” while inwardly seething at the sixth girl that has stopped by to ask Shige to dance.
“Me,” Jin reiterates as if no one heard him. “I’m an international-fucking-artist!”
“Not yet, you aren’t,” Shige retorts, looking a little flustered by the attention.
“Fuck you,” Jin says easily. “Girls are asking you to dance and you’re turning them down. What is wrong with you?”
Shige shrugs, eyes on the dance floor for a moment before turning back to them. “I’m not interested in them,” he says, and Ryo wonders if he imagined Shige meeting his eyes when he says it. But Shige is staring at the table when he looks again and Ryo tries to push the thought away, reaching for his drink and downing the rest.
“Who are you interested in, then?” Jin questions Shige critically. “Those girls were hot, man.”
“I’m not saying they aren’t,” Shige replies, frowning, and Ryo feels his blood boil strangely at Shige’s admission. “I’m just not interested.”
“Well, you’re an idiot. I’m not going to just let them go,” Jin says, sliding out of the booth after downing his shot. He looks at Yamapi and Ryo expectantly and Yamapi gets up with him. Ryo watches them disappear into the crowd, kind of hating them for leaving him alone with Shige in his current state, but knowing they don’t know not to. He sees Jin find one of the girls Shige had turned down and pull her onto the floor while Yamapi soon does the same.
He turns away and reaches for his drink only to remember it’s finished. He stares at the bottom of the empty glass then looks up and inwardly jumps as his eyes meet Shige’s, not realizing the other was watching him. Shige looks a little like he was caught doing something bad, flushing and averting his gaze quickly.
“D-Do you want to get more to drink?” Shige asks, nodding at Ryo’s empty glass.
Ryo eyes him, feels that weird burning sensation inside him again and set his glass down. “I want to dance,” he says, stands, and Shige stares at him with wide eyes. Ryo smirks. He’s not sure what’s making him do this, but it’s too late now. “Come on.”
“W-Wait, Ryo-” Shige says, confused, but following despite himself.
“Loosen up, Shige,” Ryo says, smiling encouragingly. “It’s not like you’ve never come and danced with us before.”
“Well, yeah, but-”
Ryo ignores him, scanning the crowd until he finds a few girls standing by the bar, watching the dance floor. It’s easy to talk them up, say the right words, offer a perfected smile, and they’re laughing, tucking hair behind their ears and nodding with light in their eyes.
It isn’t until they’ve danced through at least four songs that Ryo realizes he’s not paying attention to the girl grinding back against him at all. His eyes are on Shige standing a few feet away with the other girl, rocking together with ease and sensuality, his hands on her hips as she slides her own up his back. Shige can be awkward around girls when he wants to be, but Ryo’s hung out with him enough within the past few years to know he’s not like that all the time. And right now, he doesn’t seem to be holding much back, moving against his dance partner with perfection, his eyes piercing hers, lips tugging into a subconscious smirk.
And that blood-boiling feeling is back, gripping Ryo so strongly until he’s fuming with a feeling he can’t describe. He should stop looking but his eyes remain on Shige like a magnet and he wonders how Shige can’t feel his gaze on him with how hard he’s watching. It isn’t until the girl Shige’s dancing with leans up just a little, pressing her lips against the corner of Shige’s mouth that Ryo sees red, and he doesn’t even know why he’s feeling this way - he doesn’t like Shige, he doesn’t, but the song is changing and Ryo’s glad for it because people are leaving the floor and more are coming in and he can whisper a half-hearted goodbye to the girl he was with before heading straight over to Shige and grabbing him by the arm.
Shige looks at him with surprise, probably taken aback by the fury in Ryo’s eyes, and Ryo drags him off the dance floor. Ryo’s pulse is throbbing and he thinks he might have gone momentarily insane because he really has no idea what he’s doing, ignoring Shige’s questioning voice and leading him off to somewhere empty.
Of course that’s hard to come across in a club and Ryo kicks open the bathroom door when they pass by, luckily being the only ones in there because in the next second Ryo’s suddenly got Shige pushed up against the door followed by Shige’s mouth on his. He feels Shige tense but as Ryo pries his lips apart with his tongue Shige relaxes, responds, and all Ryo can feel is his soft lips against Ryo, the rush of alcohol and insanity in his veins dictating his movements.
But reality slams into him when Shige pushes Ryo into the adjacent wall and kisses harder, almost with desperation, and Ryo’s eyes widen as he pushes Shige back and sucks air between his teeth. Shige looks at him with confusion and Ryo’s staring back with shock, realizing just exactly what he’s done, panic rippling through him. Before Shige can say anything, Ryo’s muttering a half-assed apology - he’s not sure if he is sorry - and gets the hell out of there.
Once outside the club Ryo texts Yamapi to tell him he’s leaving and then he grabs a cab and goes home. And the entire ride back he tries hard not to think about just how amazing that kiss was.
-
Ryo wakes up to a pounding headache and Shige on the other side of his door.
“Fuck,” he breathes as Shige looks amused by Ryo’s bed-hair and disheveled appearance; he’s still in the clothes he wore to the club last night. “It wasn’t a dream, was it?”
Shige actually smirks, letting himself in and shutting the door after. “If you mean that kiss, then, sorry, but no. It definitely happened.”
“Fuck,” Ryo repeats, rubbing his temple with his fingers. Then he finally seems to really notice that Shige’s standing in his genkan. “What are you doing here?”
“I think that would be obvious,” Shige answers, looking only a little awkward.
“Right,” Ryo says slowly, “right.” He feels awkward, too. “Uhm. I’m going to shower. You can. Just wait. I’ll be right back.”
He escapes to the bathroom before Shige can stop him. Under the cool water his mind clears and that panic he felt when he left the club last night comes crashing back. What the fuck is he supposed to do, now?
Half of him almost wants to hide in the bathroom until Shige just gets up and leaves, but the other half knows he should go out and face it; this was his fault, anyway. Reluctantly, Ryo pulls on sweatpants and joins Shige, toweling his hair.
Shige’s sitting on the couch, instantly looks up when Ryo enters. His eyes widen a little and he looks away quickly and Ryo feels a smirk tugging at his lips. He sits down next to Shige, tossing the towel onto the top of the couch and shaking his hair from his face. The tension is nearly tangible between them and Ryo clears his throat, starts, “L-Let’s not make this more awkward than it-”
“Why did you kiss me?” Shige interrupts, looking a little like he’s been holding this question in since last night.
Ryo doesn’t blame him. “I-I don’t know,” he says quickly, instantly defensive. “Why, why did you kiss me back?”
The second he says it Ryo knows he shouldn’t have; how childish could he sound right now? But he can’t take the words back, instead stares at Shige expectantly, wonders if Shige will actually answer.
When Shige meets his eyes Ryo sees that same sadness he saw a few days earlier, feels that same pang in his chest. He’s overcome with the wish to never see that look in Shige’s eyes again, to close the distance between them and kiss him again if only to make that look disappear. He’s almost tempted, shifting forward, when Shige suddenly laughs and looks away again.
“I-I must have been drunk, or something,” he says and it takes Ryo a moment to realize he’s answering Ryo’s previous question.
But the way he won’t meet Ryo’s eyes, the way he strings his fingers together in his lap tells Ryo there’s more than just that. “You’re lying,” he accuses.
The way Shige tenses tells Ryo he’s right and he prods Shige in the shoulder to get him to spill. “What’re you hiding?” he questions, teasing more than he really cares for the answer, finding amusement in Shige squirming away from him, looking torn between telling him and keeping his mouth shut.
It’s the former that eventually wins out, pushing Ryo away as Shige nearly screams, “I like you, okay?!”
Ryo freezes where he falls back against the couch’s armrest, eyes widening with surprise while Shige seems a little relieved, albeit nervous. Ryo stares back, dumbfounded, because he wasn’t expecting this answer at all, and what the fuck is he supposed to do now?
First he sits back up as his heart hammers in his ears and he thinks back on the past week or so, thinks about the kiss from last night, thinks about Shige and asks himself the following question:
Do you like Shige?
The question is simple but Ryo’s answer is not; he doesn’t know. He thinks about it harder and he still doesn’t know. Yes, Shige is his friend; yes, he likes hanging out with him; yes, he likes him, but does he like him the same way Shige is implying he does?
Ryo really doesn’t know.
He meets Shige’s eyes and starts, “S-Shige, I-” but he doesn’t know what to say.
Shige catches onto the hesitation, the confusion in Ryo’s eyes, and says, his voice wavering only a little in anxiety, but his gaze remains firm, “I’m not asking you to tell me you love me to my face. I’m just asking you to kiss me like that again.”
Ryo still isn’t sure what to say, his pulse in his ears as Shige continues to stare at him expectantly, waiting for an answer, but Ryo’s not sure what to tell him. He does know he wouldn’t mind kissing Shige again, his mind already supplying the feelings from last night, the exhilaration he felt, the willingness to do it again, right now, tugging desperately at him. This might be the only thing he does know, and if it’s what Shige wants, Ryo thinks he might be able to deliver.
So he kisses him again, pushing Shige back against the couch cushions as he climbs awkwardly above him, moving his lips slowly along Shige’s until Shige parts his and meets Ryo’s tongue with his own. Ryo thinks he could keep on kissing Shige forever, especially now that he knows Shige wants it too. Shige definitely doesn’t seem opposed to this idea, sliding a hand up Ryo’s back to twist into his hair and kiss him harder.
Just as Ryo gets really into it, he misjudges the width of the couch, shifting to get closer and more comfortable, propping himself up with a hand on the end of the cushion. But in his attempt, he slips and comes crashing down painfully and falls straight off the couch.
For a second silence follows, and then Ryo groans loudly as his body protests the unceremonious landing. Shige props himself up on his elbows, looking down at Ryo from the couch and bursts into laughter that has his eyes shining and Ryo can’t really be angry at him because he looks a little gorgeous right now.
Instead Ryo just watches, a smile pulling at his lips as Shige laughs until it’s out of his system. Then he teases, “Thanks so much, Shige,” which makes Shige grin. Ryo gets to his feet and stretches a little, turning back to look at Shige who seems content lying across Ryo’s couch. The smile on Ryo’s face slowly turns into a frown as he thinks about what this all could mean, wondering if this could work, if-
“Ryo,” Shige says, and he’s sitting up now. “I know what you’re thinking. It’s okay.”
Ryo just scowls. “You can’t seriously be okay with this,” he says. “Shige, I don’t know if I-”
“It’s okay,” Shige reiterates and then grins brightly, reaching his eyes and lighting up his face, and Ryo knows he’s being honest. “It is. I never expected this to happen, ever. It’s okay with me.”
“But-” Ryo starts, stops, gnaws on the corner of his mouth and sighs. He runs a hand through his hair and gives Shige a helpless look.
Shige laughs as he gets to his feet and walks up to Ryo. Meeting his eyes directly he says, “It’s okay.” He grins. “And besides, since you kissed me first, I’m sure you like me too. Somewhere deep under that hard shell of yours.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to-” Ryo doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence because Shige is kissing him again and clearly this takes priority. As he kisses back, Ryo thinks Shige might be right, and that he won’t have to search that deep to find out that maybe his feelings for Shige are reciprocated.
-
Two days later, Ryo and Shige walk into a NEWS meeting together, bickering about something. It’s not an uncommon occasion that the other members don’t glance twice.
But when Ryo goes off on some ridiculous tangent about why he’s clearly better than Shige in everything, Shige decides to shut him up. With his mouth.
The collective gasps from the rest of the group is what pulls them away from each other in the end, and Ryo rolls his eyes at his bandmates while Shige laughs and answers their obvious thoughts.
“Yes,” he says, glancing at Ryo who smirks at him, “it is like that.”
end.
note: i hope you enjoyed it! :) thank you for reading~ ♥