Slumber Party - Part 1
This was written in response to profbutters request for Cross universe Muppet Baby shenanigans.
Written very collaboratively by peasant007, docnerd and leilia
Title: Slumber Party - Part 1
Rating: PG-13
Stories Involved: Currently Vetinari Dualegacy, Devereaux Legacy, Yakko's World OWBC
Summary: "Have you ever been to slumber party, Zane?" Spider Jerusalem asked knowing full well the answer.
***
"Have you ever been to slumber party, Zane?" Spider Jerusalem asked knowing full well the answer.
"Is that like a sleepover? Because Tina and I have that every night." Zane was always wary when Spider started asking questions. The wrong answers tended to have very embarrassing consequences. Well, embarrassing for Zane, anyway. Spider had a much higher tolerance for that sort of thing.
"Good night everybody," said Yakko Warner, tucking an iris from Spider's garden into one of his dreadlocks.
Spider facepalmed. "Not exactly the same thing."
"Oh, because those slumber parties are fun!" Zane gushed with a huge smile on his face.
Yakko exchanged a look with Spider. "This boy needs to get out more. And he's not the one who's been locked in a water tower for forty years."
Zane stared at the elf-eared man in horror. "Your parents locked you in a water tower for forty years?"
"I have parents?" asked a confused Yakko.
Spider leaned over to Zane. "Founder," he whispered in explanation.
"Oooohhh..."
"Anyway, back to the original question. Have any of us ever been to a slumber party?" Spider asked again.
Yakko perked up. "Is that where we paint our nails and do each other's hair? Can I get a facial?"
Spider stared at the man and then turned to Zane, ignoring Yakko entirely. "I'm guessing you haven't. I know I haven't. And Mr. Really-Bad-Innuendo probably hasn't either, being a Founder and all. So I ask you, gentlemen. What are we going to do about it?"
Zane and Yakko shrugged. "What exactly is a slumber party, Spider?" Zane asked.
Spider sauntered over with a smirk on his face stepped between them, and hauled them close, placing his arms around their shoulders. "Boys, I'll tell you what a slumber party is." He panned one hand out in front of him. "Girls, as far as the eye can see. Imagine it. Wearing nothing but slinky nighties, making out and pillow fighting, covered in sweat and feathers. Boobs! All of the free range boobies you can stand: bouncing, heaving, jiggling boobs. That, my friends, is a slumber party."
"That sounds like porn to me," Yakko commented.
"Oh dear. I'm not sure Tina would approve," Zane said nervously as he began twisting his fingers. Actually, he was completely sure that Tina would definitely not approve.
Spider turned to Zane and grasped him firmly on the shoulders. "Consider this your belated bachelor party, bro."
Zane tried to start backing away but found that Spider's grip on his shoulders was unbreakable. "Thank you. But it's not really necessary. I'm fine. Really. It's okay."
"No, it really isn't. What kind of half-uncle-brother would I be if I didn't do this for you?" Spider had the manic grin of a used-car salesman.
"And they thought my family tree was weird," Yakko muttered to himself.
Wrenching himself free, Zane put his hands up. "No really, it's okay. Thank you."
"No really, think nothing of it! In fact..." Spider's eyes flashed black and three men suddenly weren't anymore.
"Spider Jerusalem! What did you do?" Zane exclaimed, his voice cracking.
"Well, it'd be creepy to spy on teenage girls as adults now, wouldn't it?"
"I'd say. I don't feel like ending up on a very special episode of To Catch A Predator," Yakko agreed.
"So now what?" Zane asked, running his hand through his hair nervously.
"Now, we find us some ladies!"
"Where?" Yakko asked curiously. "Are you going to do your funky eye thing again?"
"Zane, you have a bunch of girls in your old neighborhood, don't you?"
Zane was still in shock and kept poking at various parts of his face with an growing expression of horror. What had happened to his nose? "Yeah. Why?"
"No reason. To the Devereaux house!" Spider cried, pointing off to the setting sun.
"What?! No!"
***
More to come soon... More alcohol is needed.
Written very collaboratively by peasant007, docnerd and leilia
Title: Slumber Party - Part 1
Rating: PG-13
Stories Involved: Currently Vetinari Dualegacy, Devereaux Legacy, Yakko's World OWBC
Summary: "Have you ever been to slumber party, Zane?" Spider Jerusalem asked knowing full well the answer.
***
"Have you ever been to slumber party, Zane?" Spider Jerusalem asked knowing full well the answer.
"Is that like a sleepover? Because Tina and I have that every night." Zane was always wary when Spider started asking questions. The wrong answers tended to have very embarrassing consequences. Well, embarrassing for Zane, anyway. Spider had a much higher tolerance for that sort of thing.
"Good night everybody," said Yakko Warner, tucking an iris from Spider's garden into one of his dreadlocks.
Spider facepalmed. "Not exactly the same thing."
"Oh, because those slumber parties are fun!" Zane gushed with a huge smile on his face.
Yakko exchanged a look with Spider. "This boy needs to get out more. And he's not the one who's been locked in a water tower for forty years."
Zane stared at the elf-eared man in horror. "Your parents locked you in a water tower for forty years?"
"I have parents?" asked a confused Yakko.
Spider leaned over to Zane. "Founder," he whispered in explanation.
"Oooohhh..."
"Anyway, back to the original question. Have any of us ever been to a slumber party?" Spider asked again.
Yakko perked up. "Is that where we paint our nails and do each other's hair? Can I get a facial?"
Spider stared at the man and then turned to Zane, ignoring Yakko entirely. "I'm guessing you haven't. I know I haven't. And Mr. Really-Bad-Innuendo probably hasn't either, being a Founder and all. So I ask you, gentlemen. What are we going to do about it?"
Zane and Yakko shrugged. "What exactly is a slumber party, Spider?" Zane asked.
Spider sauntered over with a smirk on his face stepped between them, and hauled them close, placing his arms around their shoulders. "Boys, I'll tell you what a slumber party is." He panned one hand out in front of him. "Girls, as far as the eye can see. Imagine it. Wearing nothing but slinky nighties, making out and pillow fighting, covered in sweat and feathers. Boobs! All of the free range boobies you can stand: bouncing, heaving, jiggling boobs. That, my friends, is a slumber party."
"That sounds like porn to me," Yakko commented.
"Oh dear. I'm not sure Tina would approve," Zane said nervously as he began twisting his fingers. Actually, he was completely sure that Tina would definitely not approve.
Spider turned to Zane and grasped him firmly on the shoulders. "Consider this your belated bachelor party, bro."
Zane tried to start backing away but found that Spider's grip on his shoulders was unbreakable. "Thank you. But it's not really necessary. I'm fine. Really. It's okay."
"No, it really isn't. What kind of half-uncle-brother would I be if I didn't do this for you?" Spider had the manic grin of a used-car salesman.
"And they thought my family tree was weird," Yakko muttered to himself.
Wrenching himself free, Zane put his hands up. "No really, it's okay. Thank you."
"No really, think nothing of it! In fact..." Spider's eyes flashed black and three men suddenly weren't anymore.
"Spider Jerusalem! What did you do?" Zane exclaimed, his voice cracking.
"Well, it'd be creepy to spy on teenage girls as adults now, wouldn't it?"
"I'd say. I don't feel like ending up on a very special episode of To Catch A Predator," Yakko agreed.
"So now what?" Zane asked, running his hand through his hair nervously.
"Now, we find us some ladies!"
"Where?" Yakko asked curiously. "Are you going to do your funky eye thing again?"
"Zane, you have a bunch of girls in your old neighborhood, don't you?"
Zane was still in shock and kept poking at various parts of his face with an growing expression of horror. What had happened to his nose? "Yeah. Why?"
"No reason. To the Devereaux house!" Spider cried, pointing off to the setting sun.
"What?! No!"
***
More to come soon... More alcohol is needed.