oh my god....im still fucking hungover as shit. last night was spent staying up until 2 or so..drinking martinis and random vodka. and then drinking some more...while watching house of the dead. at some point andy, mark and i walked to the gas station where i picked up a pack of cigs...because i smoke entirely way too much. then we walked back and ( Read more... )

i cannot say how much ive wanted to be able to sit in front of my computer and smoke a cigarette whenever the fuck i feel like it. fuck. its great to have my own place. until the bills come.....meh. im working full time now..have to talk to lorayne about getting benefits....(benefits..yeah right....just another way to give them more money that they ( Read more... )

i got a call from the wedge co op yesterday....about 5 weeks ago (same day i got my eyebrow pierced) i had turned in an application there...the person on the phone said they were really 'impresed with my qualifications' (um...lets see..im a high school drop out..and i ran out on my first job in a fit of rage....and i qualify? either someones being ( Read more... )

no more cashiering for me....

im gonna be the janitor

when i walked in the doors..the lady took one look at me and must have thought i was there to kill someone. no...not yet. give me a few months, and maybe that will change though. today, i was only there for an apartment application ( Read more... )

i want to go to seattle. like, just hop on a bus and explore wherever the fuck it takes me...i dont care if i have a job, place to stay...or enough money for food or any of that shit. and id come back whenever im ready....and go back to work....make money..and dissapear again....without a trace. which would definitely mean canceling my debit card ( Read more... )

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these months of constant 'partying' so to speak, are catching up with me..or at the very least, trying fucking hard to catch up. i think my bodys trying to come down with some kind of head/sinus cold. and im telling it 'oh no you dont' and then proceeding to pump it full of vitamins and raspberry flavored vodka. so far, so good ( Read more... )

yeah...im trying to control myself. trying to hold back, keep it all in...but it seems that every little thing i do is a tiny failure. and these failures continue to build up more and more...im at the point where, though i know whats better.......i doubt ill choose to listen to that knowledge ( Read more... )

Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality ( Read more... )