(no subject)
a prescription for antabuse, and drunk. i am trying not to despair but it's hard. she wants me to make sure she takes the pills every day when she gets them. i will, but i don't think it's going to work. past trauma aside, if the threat of being homeless doesn't work, why will the threat of puking? to be fair, it's intensely unpleasant overenthusiastic puking but i am still not convinced, especially because as near as i can tell, 90% of what she ingested between thursday morning and sunday evening was alcoholic. i'm not giving her her debit card again even if she acts like a teenaged brat when i say no.
i'm also resigning myself to having to make her leave at the end of the month. unless a miracle happens, this is too little, too late. i so desperately want to avoid making her leave, but i can't keep throwing my life after hers. maybe she just can't do it right now. i don't know, but i don't have the will to keep trying. i hate myself for that because i should be able to take more and i should have been able to do this with bring a bitchzilla, driving her away and driving her to drink.